An anon on tumblr asked me to write an AU fic where Green's really nice to everyone, and the idea was so mind-boggling and his dialogue so off-putting to imagine coming from the mouth of Green Oak that it took me months to get through it.
So now I'm posting it across all my fanfiction sites so there's a higher chance of the anon seeing it;;;
This fic has a lot of bullying, verbal abuse, some gore in fantasies, and basically the title is the antonym of what it is. Guess it was inevitable.
Nice
Red's neighbour was a kiss-ass freak called Green. He was Professor Oak's grandson, but as the adults were continually praising, he didn't let that go to his head. He was always offering to help Red with everything — homework, carrying stuff, even chores. At first it was unnerving. Mum always told Red it was just Green's way of being friendly, but when Red told him to cut it out, Green looked at him with betrayed eyes and say, "I just like being useful."
It was kinda hard to tell Green to fuck off after that, so Red tried to avoid him. It would've worked better in a bigger city, but Red made it through years without punching Green out of sheer irritation. It kinda helped that Green's grandpa was the Professor Oak and he was expressing plans for Red and Green to go on (separate, thankfully) journeys to complete Pokémon Encyclopaedias called PokéDexes, gather Gym Badges, all the good things. It made Red feel a little bad that Green had vehemently recommended him, but it wasn't like he hated Green for being nice. Green was just a little… smothering. Like he didn't trust Red to do anything right for himself.
When Oak called them to get their pokémon and start their PokéDex completion, Green even looked over at Red and said, "You should pick first."
Red shook his head. "You should, you're the reason I'm here."
"Are you sure?" Green asked. "Well, then… I'll pick charmander."
After Red chose bulbasaur, Green started fretting about having an unintentional type advantage.
"I really don't care," Red told him. "This is the pokémon I want. That shouldn't change the one you pick."
He also had to worry about how Charmander would feel, being chosen then put back, but sometimes people called him a freak for worrying about pokémon's feelings so he tried not to do it aloud.
"I guess so," Green said, smiling apologetically. "Do you want to battle? To try it out with a friend?"
And then when Red beat him, Green grinned and congratulated him. That was when Red realised what had been so disconcerting about Green's niceties over the years; they didn't reach his eyes. His eyes always looked strained.
Thankfully, Red didn't see Green over the next month and a half as he travelled through Viridian, Pewter and Mt Moon. It all took a lot longer than Red expected it to, maybe because he forgot to get a map. He saw Green around Cerulean a few times, always quickly ducking around behind buildings and bushes. Green smiled at everyone he met, and kept a little smile on his face as he walked through the city. He headed for the Pokémon Centre, then the Gym. Red didn't sneak in after him, but he was tempted. He wondered how Green treated his pokémon.
Green wasn't nice to them. He shouted every command like it pissed him off he had to give it, he ignore obvious signs of fatigue, and he said nothing to reassure his charmeleon (when had it evolved?) that it wouldn't be killed by all the water, or to congratulate his pidgeotto. The Gym Leader was clearly put off, but Green had beaten her, so she had to hand the badge over.
"Oh, thank you very much," Green said sweetly to her. "I hope we didn't cause any damage."
"No… no but… you know, your pokémon —" she started.
"Yes, I should get them to the Pokémon Centre, shouldn't I?" Green said. "Bye, then. Thank you for everything."
Red carefully lined himself with the Gym statues to make sure Green didn't see him as he walked out. He glanced back at the Gym Leader for a moment before sneaking out after Green. He did go to the Pokémon Centre, but Red didn't feel a lot better about that. It was like the bare minimum of what Green should do.
When Red returned to the Cerulean Gym, the Gym Leader stared at him strangely.
"Friend of yours?" she asked casually.
"No," Red replied. "Neighbour."
"You should talk to him about how he treats his pokémon," she said grimly. "I'm scared of what he's doing to them."
When they battled, she introduced herself cheerfully as Misty and became even more cheerful when Red didn't scream at his pokémon. She smiled as she handed over the badge and congratulated him.
"If anyone can show that asshole the value of treating pokémon right, it's you," she said.
Red wondered what she'd say if she found out that asshole was the famous Professor Oak's grandson.
Red didn't see Green again until over a month later when they were both on the S.S. Anne. Bill gave Red the ticket after Red helped him stop playing god and thoroughly traumatised Red's pikachu, so Red hung around Vermillion about a fortnight longer than he'd meant to waiting for the luxury liner to show up. He'd never experienced luxury anything, and after how boring the ship was and how stuck-up everybody was, Red didn't feel much like experiencing luxury anything ever again. Green, of course, was in his element, smiling at everybody and offering to help them with luggage and oh yes I can spare some time to entertain you with a battle. He'd probably gotten the ticket from his grandpa, Red concluded as he slunk around the kitchens to avoid Green and steal extra supplies.
Of course, when Red was chased out of the kitchen and decided to go check out the captain's cabin, he ran into Green.
"Oh, Red!" Green said, smiling that creepy smile. "I didn't think I'd see you here, how are you?"
"Fine," Red replied, quickly looking around for burly sailors and pissed off cooks.
"How's your PokéDex coming along? I've only managed to find forty kinds, but I have managed to get three badges," Green continued.
"Same," Red replied. "With the badges. Not the pokémon. I wanna have time to get close to the ones I catch."
Green looked completely bewildered by the idea, but forced a polite laugh. "Well, everybody has their own approach. Me? I just want to see Gramps' dream come true as soon as possible."
Red felt like he was gonna be sick.
"Do you wanna have a battle?" Green asked.
"Okay," Red sighed.
If he liked Green more, Red might've felt a bit bad about how easily he wiped the floors (or was it swabbed the decks?) with Green. Green's pokémon kept getting distracted to stare at their shout-y jerk master when they should've been paying attention to Red's pokémon. Green's raticate got so stressed out it froze mid-battle and just shrieked.
"Are you sure you wanna keep battling?" Red asked.
"Yes, it's fine," Green snapped.
At least he got a sincere reaction for a change.
"You should really treat your pokémon better," Red said after Green recalled his charmeleon. "You shouldn't take your issues out on them."
"I don't have any issues except you keep beating me," Green hissed. Then he made himself smile. "Sorry. That's unfair. You do seem to be doing something right, with how you're raising them."
"They're my friends," Red said. "Not tools."
"How kind of you to treat them as equals," Green said. "I need to get going. You might want to see the captain up ahead, he's a master of the Cut technique. You could definitely use that. Bye, Red!"
And the time they battled after that, in Lavender Town, Green didn't have raticate any more. Red didn't have any clue why that made his blood run cold when Green was doing his usual overly nice asking about the PokéDex and badges thing, but it did. Maybe because they were in the Pokémon Tower and Red was actually trying to figure out what Team Rocket was up to.
"They're not here, let's have a battle," Green had said when Red tried to escape.
When Red beat him, he asked, "Are you gonna help me with the ghost? And Team Rocket?"
Green gave a strained smile and replied, "I need to go to the Pokémon Centre, I think. You can definitely handle it, Red. I believe in you."
"No, I've got revives, Green, c'mon —"
But Green walked off like he couldn't hear him.
Green was terrifying. And he was more terrifying each time Red met him. Seeing him from a distance was fine, it was just seeing Green being overly polite to everyone and smiling at strangers, but when he talked to him, Red could see the cracks in Green's niceness. He didn't wanna be there when it shattered, but at the same time, he knew he was gonna be the one to shatter it. Green's smiles at Red were becoming more and more like sneers when Red beat him.
Red realised it had to be coming sooner than he expected when Green challenged him to a battle in the middle of the Team Rocket invasion of Silph Co.
"Not now, we've gotta get these people out of here," Red said.
"I only want to see if you're capable of taking on the Rocket Boss," Green said innocently. "We can't both battle him."
"Why not?! He's holding a building hostage!"
"It wouldn't be fair. Now, come on, show me if you've gotten any stronger," Green said. As an afterthought, he added an almost sarcastic, "Please."
When Red beat him, Green couldn't even manage a smile. His hands shook as he revived his pokémon.
"Help me," Red pleaded.
Green was smiling when he looked up at Red. "Good luck with this, Red, I know you can do it. Me? I'll be getting ready for the Pokémon League."
Then he walked away.
Red managed to get through and defeat Giovanni fine, but that was only because of Giovanni's sense of decorum keeping him from having his grunts gang up on a kid with him. Maybe it wasn't decorum so much as an ego thing, that Giovanni had to prove himself by beating Red himself. Maybe that was why Green ditched him, too.
Red didn't know what to think of Green, or what to expect from him any more. Life had been a lot simpler when Green had just been the annoying nice kid always sucking up to him, not the borderline psychotic rival he knew was pretty much abusing his pokémon like the most pathetic of Rocket Grunts.
So Red focused on his own journey for a while. He focused on catching and raising more pokémon, even if it slowed him down sometimes, shuffling his party around so they all got a turn. He gave them potions at the first sign of fatigue, swapped them out before they fainted, even started trying to cook special food just for them. Red was pretty sure he was overcompensating with his own pokémon to make up for what Green's went through and his inability to get over his fear and make Green stop. How would he even make Green stop? What could he do short of stealing his pokémon? And how could Red say Green's training methods were wrong when Team Rocket was getting stronger and more powerful each day?
Red thought about telling Professor Oak, but honestly that'd make him a weenie snitch and Oak probably wouldn't even care, Green was his precious grandson, Oak was so proud of him and how polite and kind and generous he was to humans. Besides, Oak had so many pokémon in his lab, he must've seen Green's attitude to them before.
The best Red could do was be honest with how much he didn't like Green next time they met. And postpone that too. He kept waking up from nightmares of Green standing over him, grinning, pressing a knife to Red's throat…
So Red trained his pokémon, baked for them, played with them, ignored the stares of other Trainers and the Gym Leaders scoffing that he was too soft if he was already trying to use his one potion limit. He still beat Blaine, and made it back to the Viridian Gym to find it actually occupied for a change. By Giovanni. Go figure. But Red's battling skills and attitude to his pokémon either so inspired or so disgusted Giovanni that he immediately quit his job as leader of Team Rocket and declared it disbanded, so Red had to be doing something right.
He hoped Team Rocket actually respected Giovanni's wishes and stayed disbanded, but if they didn't? He'd stop them again. He couldn't forgive anybody who treated pokémon as tools. Or smiled creepily when they were pissed off.
With Giovanni's badge, Red could take on the Pokémon League. He didn't see Green as he walked to Indigo Plateau, or all the way through Victory Road. He considered asking people if they'd seen the freakishly polite kid with ridiculous orange-y brown hair, but decided against it to avoid jinxing himself.
The battles all through the Elite Four were incredible. Red couldn't coddle his pokémon through it; he just had to think how to win, as quickly as possible, and focus on that. Throughout the battle with Lorelai they seemed a little lost, but quickly got into the swing of it again by the time they were facing Bruno. By the time they took down Lance, they were so in-sync Red barely had to finish a command before his pokémon acted on it, they were barely halted by paralysis, and kept going for high-fives after each KO.
"You are truly a Pokémon Master!" Lance cried. "I still can't believe my majestically trained Dragons lost to you, but the love and care you and your pokémon show for each other is equally as majestic as the mightiest of dragonite! Red, had you been an hour earlier, you would now be the new League Champion! Alas, you were not, and now, go ahead and face Champion Green!"
Aw, shit. "Can I quit now?"
Lance frowned. "How can you think of discrediting your struggles with your pokémon to get this far by quitting without losing in the glory of battle?"
"Because Green's my neighbour and he'll kill me when I beat him. I think he'll decapitate me and get my head cast in gold as a trophy, or maybe a bowling ball."
Lance stared at him like he was the weird one.
"I'm talking it over with my pokémon," Red said.
"Do, do you think that they talk back?" Lance asked.
"Of course they do," Red scoffed.
Red sent out his pokémon again, staring around at them. They looked tired, but still excited. They could get through one more intense battle, Red was sure.
"You guys wanna beat up Green?" Red asked.
Rhydon roared demandingly, Golduck stomped his feet like an excited little dance, Venusaur wrapped its vines tightly around Red like a hug while Espeon nuzzled Red's hand and Snorlax drummed its belly. Pikachu just glared like it was insulted by the idea it wasn't always up for destroying Green.
"Okay," Red sighed. "But make him pay if he cuts my head, okay? Don't let him turn it into a bowling ball."
Red walked through the door to find Green smiling at him.
"Hi Red," he said. "It's really great that you made it this far, I always knew you could do it."
"Is that because I've always beaten you?" Red asked.
Green's smile twitched. Interesting. "That's true, you're a really excellent Trainer. But I'm pretty good too. I've come a long way since we last battled, as you can see."
Red nodded.
"So, you're going to challenge me?" Green asked. His smile widened, almost predatorily nice. "That's great. I've been really looking forward to battling with you. No hard feelings if you lose, right? I want us to stay friends no matter what."
"I'd rather you didn't lie to me," Red said. "We were never really friends."
"I'm sorry you feel that way," Green replied. "I hope I can make it up to you, or maybe we can talk this through?"
"Let's get the battle over with, I don't wanna talk to you more than necessary."
They almost lost. Red had never come so close to losing before, it'd been months since any of his pokémon had even fainted, but they all almost did against Green. Green had a frenzied look in his eyes as he shouted at his charizard to fight harder dammit. But Pikachu managed an enormous Thunderbolt, and Green's charizard slammed down, fainted.
Pikachu kaaa'd in delight, jumping into Red's arms. Red hugged it tightly, before looking over at Green, smirking.
Green couldn't even force a smile as he said through gritted teeth, "Congratulations, Red. You're the new League Champion. You really deserve it."
"Yeah, I know," Red said. "More than you did."
Green's eye twitched. Good, Red found himself thinking. He wanted to see Green snap, no matter what Green did to him.
"I mean, you're not even a good Trainer," he continued. "You just got lucky."
Green's hands curled into fists. Red quickly recalled Pikachu to its ball. Green took a step closer.
"Red!" a familiar voice called.
Red and Green both turned to the door to see Professor Oak walking towards them.
"So, you won, huh?" Oak said. "Well, congratulations. You've certainly grown up a lot since you first left with bulbasaur."
Green started to shake.
"Green," Oak said, turning to him. The disapproval on his face was kinda delicious. "Green, I'm very disappointed in you. I came as fast as I could when I heard you'd become the Champion, but by the time I arrived, you'd already lost. Do you understand why you lost?"
"Yes, Gramps," Green replied, even his voice shaking. "Red is better than me."
"That's not it at all," Oak said impatiently. "I've heard things from the Elite Four, Green. They say you've forgotten to treat your pokémon with love and trust. It wasn't you alone who won or lost any battle, Green. Just like it wasn't Red alone who beat you. You and your pokémon are a team, Green, and unless you treat them well —"
"Then what?!" Green interrupted. "I'm nice, Gramps! I treat everyone well! It doesn't get me a damn thing! It just makes them think maybe I'm worth being your grandson and maybe you'll actually be proud of me! Maybe isn't good enough! Being nice doesn't get anybody anything!"
That was it. Exactly what Red wanted to see. Confirmation that he wasn't just being paranoid, that Green seriously wasn't a nice person, he was just a phony faking to try and make everybody like him.
"Nobody likes a faker, Green," Red muttered.
Green punched him in the nose. Red's vision immediately went blurry, and all he could smell and taste was blood. He could still make out the intensity of Green's glare, and his shouting through the throbbing.
"Shut the fuck up, Red! Nobody likes you either! Always so high-and-mighty and fucking judging me! Shut the fucking hell up!"
Red did.
"Calm down Green," Oak said firmly. "I'm trying to help you."
"Fuck all of this!" Green shouted. "Fucking… fucking… SMELL YA LATER, LOSERS!"
Green stormed off. Red watching him go with amazement.
"I'm terribly sorry about his behaviour," Oak said, helping steady Red. "He's just upset, he's never acted out like this before…"
"I know," Red replied. "It's about time."
Oak stared at Red incredulously, and led him to the Hall of Fame to register his pokémon. From the photo, Red could see purple bruises forming along his eyes near the bridge of his nose, the disjointed twist to the nose itself, and the blood dripping down his chin.
He didn't really care about any of it.
Oak left quickly to go after Green, leaving Red in Lance's capable hands. Lance kept babbling about having no idea the polite, well-spoken grandson of Professor Oak could be capable of such behaviour.
"I know," Red replied. "Great, isn't it?"
For a while, Red hung around Pallet. He told Mum it was because he'd missed her so much, and he had, but it was a little bit because he kept running into Green. Each time Green would glare at him, eyes filled with pure, unmasked loathing and jealousy, his lips settled into a sneer of complete hatred, and he'd called Red a fucking worthless excuse for a Champion. They never threw punches; Green glared, insulted, and Red never replied, just smirking and basking in Green's true colours.
Then suddenly, Green was going to some far off region with no plans to return soon, probably to discover the true extent of what an awful person he was underneath all the niceties.
Red quit the championship and headed up Mt Silver. Being Champion wasn't so fun without Green's jealous glares and shouted insults. As he sat at the top, snow falling in sharp breezes that cut through to his bones, Red thought maybe he was a pretty awful person too.
