This is the story of Harry Potter, (re)told in the words of The Tombstone Quill. Basically, the Quill is enchanted to read the personality of a person who has died, and write the inscription to be placed upon their tombstone - but of course, it doesn't always write happy, bubbly R.I.P.s...

Let's start with the tombstone inscription of Bellatrix Lestrange.

--

Here lies a woman

Who is no longer here

Though her charm entertain'd

And her brain well-pertain'd

To the issues of the present year

Sadly, she has left us

But wonders will ensue!

For she's sure she's in Hell

Such a grandiose flaming well

Surrounded by demons

Wreathed in great fire

And they're all congratulating

Such a brilliant liar

Schemed the schemes of the age

Drank the ink off the page

She'll naer disparage

All the blood cast in shade

And her life now has ended

Her skin perhaps flayed

Ribs sawed into strips

Or crucified out of rage

But all's well that ends well

Just like good old World War II

Stabbed with blackened shells

Which, like dead fish, smells

And we'll all dance until the end

Flying so high on this cloud of mine

And we'll all party until the smoke rises

From the bombs on the hills

And we're all going to end up like her

Buried in the ground

Left to rot, 'til even maggots we deter

But all's well that ends well

And our hearts will soar sky-high

--

If you've taken the time to read this, please review it. Suggestions for future tombstone inscriptions are welcome!