This is my first fic in aaages. And I know that this first chapter is going to seem really cliche, but just bear with me, okay?I really hope you can read this story and not be turned off from it!
Thanks so much for reading! This is written for my own amusement, but it would make me really happy if others can enjoy it too!
Okay, time for me to shut up and get on with the story already.
Oh and Disclaimer! If for some reason you thought I owned Princess Tutu and the characters contained in this fic, then you are mistaken!
A Choice
The sunlight danced and sparkled merrily across the waters of the lake. A boy sat the dock, pen in hand, and papers arranged on his lap. A little duck floated on the water beside him, swimming contentedly. But the boy was not content. A frustrated expression crossed Fakir's face as the wind tugged at his paper, threatening to carry it away. He meant to write, but nothing came. Why should he be writing anyway? Wasn't everything the way it should be? Everything was normal in Gold Crown, and Rue and Mytho had gone into the story, so what was there to write about?
Ahiru. The thought came unbidden to Fakir's mind as he watched the little duck. You miss her human form. That's why you want to write; you want to make her human again, his thoughts taunted him. Well it was true, though Fakir didn't want to admit it to himself. He missed Ahiru. It wasn't as if she had gone away, and he tried to be content with staying beside her even though she was now a duck, but it wasn't the same. She couldn't speak to him, and he couldn't tell her how he really felt about her. Well, he could, just not without feeling completely ridiculous. And even if Ahiru felt the same way, it would just cause her more pain because they couldn't really be together.
Ahiru lifted her head questioningly as Fakir let out a soft chuckle. He really was foolish. How on earth had he fallen in love with a duck? Even as a girl she had been clumsy and stupid. Yet, when he had found out that she was a duck, he somehow gained more respect for her. Fakir really had meant his promise to stay beside Ahiru no matter what her form, and that it was okay for her to be a duck because that was who she really was, but... it didn't stop him from wishing things could be different. He almost wished the story never had had to end, but that was so selfish, and he knew it. At least it hadn't had the tragic ending Drosselmeyer had intended, but in Fakir's case it still felt so bittersweet.
Why did Fakir's life have to be so complicated anyway? Shouldn't he just be worrying about his schoolwork or something? Though now that he thought of it he did have something he needed to read for History. He sighed and put his paper and pen down beside him, leaning backwards and letting out a sigh. School had been sort of lonely for Fakir lately without Ahiru and Mytho around. There was Autor of course, but Fakir counted him less as a friend and more of a barely tolerated acquaintance. And then there were all those girls that seemed to be hiding behind every corner, giggling.
Ahiru had sensed Fakir's frustrated mood and had flown up onto his lap, quacking concernedly. "What?" Fakir asked, sitting up a little straighter. He hadn't really been paying much attention, so she'd given him a bit of a shock. "Something wrong?" Ahiru just gave him a look that seemed to say "I know something's bothering you, so are you going to tell me or not?" Fakir could just picture her as a girl, giving him that same indignant gaze with her hands on her hips, ready to argue with him if necessary. "Look everything's fine. I was just a little worried about a History assignment I forgot about." It wasn't a total lie... Ahiru eyed him suspiciously as he tried not to look guilty. He failed miserably. Ahiru kept her expression cool as she leaned forward, gave Fakir a bite on the nose, and flew off the dock.
Fakir sat stunned for a moment. Then he shot up out of his chair. "Hey what was that for, you stupid duck? Get back here!" He started in the direction of the little yellow duck in such agitation that he tripped, falling forward into the water. For a moment all that could be seen of the boy were a few ripples on the surface of the lake, creating an almost calm scene. This effect was shattered, however as he broke upward, spitting out water. He held onto the side of the dock, rubbing his nose a little. A small blush spread across his cheeks.
As if the situation wasn't embarrassing enough for poor Fakir, Ahiru began to laugh. Or at least, she was making a sort of quacking sound that came as close to a laugh as a duck could manage. Fakirs blush deepened. He looked at Ahiru. She seemed so happy, and it was contagious. Fakir started laughing too, more sincerely than he had in a long while. "I guess that was pretty silly." Pulling himself back onto dock in the most dignified manner he could, he realized the sun was setting. "Come on, Ahiru. It's getting late, and Charon's making stew." Fakir bent down and scooped up the little duck from the water. Then he gathered his writing supplies and set off toward home.
It occurred to Fakir that most ducks' diets didn't consist of stew and other human foods, but that didn't stop Ahiru from eating enthusiastically from the little bowl Charon had put before her. But Ahiru was far from an ordinary duck. Fakir sometimes even caught her awkwardly practicing ballet. A small smile played across his lips at the memories.
It had been a bit awkward explaining to his adoptive father why he had arrived home soaking wet. Charon had chuckled a little at the story and sent him upstairs to get some dry clothes on. And Ahiru had given him a look that told him she'd remember that embarrassing incident. If she was still human, Fakir thought she'd probably make sure he would never forget about it either. Fakir sighed a little as he picked at his stew.
"I can tell something's bothering you." Fakir looked up as Charon spoke before looking back down at his bowl. After a few moments of silence, Charon spoke again, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Just remember you can tell me anything." Fakir nodded. "It's nothing, I've just had a long day. I think I need some sleep." He stood up from the dinner table and slid in his chair. Noticing Ahiru's empty bowl and expectant look, he slid his food over to her. "Here, you can have mine. Just don't get too fat." Ahiru shot him an angry look before he headed upstairs.
Forgetting her food, Ahiru waddled indignantly after Fakir. It was amusing how she could still argue with that boy even without speaking. And as annoyed as Fakir could get with her sometimes, he really appreciated these moments. He was a little afraid about how much of her personality was there to begin with and how much she had been affected by the story. Could her feisty personality merely been an embellishment on Drosselmeyer's part? Now that the story was over, would she just become an ordinary duck, her human qualities fading away forever? Fakir needed to be prepared for that. If the time came, he knew he would have to accept it.
Fakir began preparing to sleep, Ahiru waiting outside his door while he changed. He opened the door to let her in. Soon they were both settled into bed. Fakir smiled a little at the warmth of Ahiru's small body pressed against his back. He had gotten her a basket to sleep in, but after finding feathers in his bed on multiple occasions, he ended up telling her it was fine if she wanted to sleep on the bed.
Ahiru soon fell asleep, but Fakir was restless. He'd decided to believe that Ahiru wouldn't change. It was just easier that way. He had to believe that Drosselmeyer hadn't messed with Ahiru's heart, or he was afraid his own would break. Besides that, Fakir realized that ducks didn't live as long as humans did. Of course it was obvious, but he hadn't thought of it before. He would most likely outlive her. Could he live with that? Well, Fakir would cross that bridge when he came to it. He wanted to enjoy all the time he had with Ahiru, especially if it was limited. But how could he when thoughts like these would constantly torment his mind.
You could change things, Fakir's thoughts taunted him once again. You could write a story. It could come true. Ahiru could be yours. You could be happy. You know you could. You know you want to. No. Fakir knew he might be able to change Ahiru back, but he had no right to. She seemed happy enough and who was he to change that? She had such a simple life, yet it seemed to be a happy one. She spent a lot of time with Fakir in the afternoons and at night, then in the daytime she'd go to the lake and uh... splash around? Why couldn't Fakir's life be more like that? Right now it was just one big headache.
A thought hit Fakir. A crazy thought. It just fell out of the sky and hit him - hard. It was absolutely insane. But the more he thought about, the more Fakir wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. As Fakir's mind raced, this thought seemed less and less crazy. As it was, his life was far from perfect; he didn't really have much to lose. Charon. The man had always been so kind and understanding to him - the closest Fakir had to family. He would miss Charon... but who else was there to miss? Mytho was gone, anyway. And Fakir certainly wouldn't miss Autor. So, why not? Because it's crazy. It wasn't that crazy! It made sense! Fakir had accepted that Ahiru would always be a duck, but perhaps he had been too blind to realize it was his own fate that he struggled to accept. It just didn't seem fair, but he had an idea of how to change that. Fakir slowly drifted off to sleep. He had something to write tomorrow.
Fakir considered skipping school and heading right to the lake today. His mind buzzed with anticipation. But, he knew Ahiru would think it was strange, and he didn't quite want her to know what was going on just then. He'd wait until their usual time to go to the lake. Today though, he didn't plan on coming back.
Fakir's classmates and teachers were quite surprised to see him in a rather good mood. He even smiled a couple of times throughout the day. In ballet class he seemed more energetic than usual, allowing more emotion to show in his dancing than he usually did. Fakir heard the whispers. It seemed as if everyone was talking about how strangely he was acting, and to tell the truth he didn't really care. He felt almost drunk. He was letting himself be happy, for the first time in... forever! Perhaps he never had before because he was so afraid of disappointment and heartache. Fakir hadn't had the happiest life ever, and he never had expected to be happy, but suddenly he felt like it could be.
As soon as he got home, Fakir ran upstairs to gather his writing supplies. He stopped at his desk, frowning. He should... he should tell Charon. Fakir couldn't just up and disappear. But how could he tell his adoptive father? Fakir guessed he could write a letter; it would be easier. So, for the second time in as many days, Fakir sat down to write, and he was nearly as at a loss for words as the first time.
Charon,
If you found this letter, then you've probably already noticed I'm gone.
Please don't worry about me; I'll be fine. I'm really grateful to you for
everything. I'm not running away, not really. I just have to leave, and I'm
sorry. I can't explain.
At least not without feeling completely ridiculous.
I'll miss you. There is a good chance you'll never see me again.
Fakir
The words seemed so cold and unfeeling written in ink, but he had to be truthful, didn't he? Fakir sighed. Was he really going to go through with this?
Not long after that, Fakir arrived at the lake. When he greeted Ahiru warmly he could tell she saw the change in his mood. But as he sat down and straightened the papers in his lap he donned a serious expression. He had to be careful. Of course now it occurred to him to be nervous. There was a chance that what he wrote wouldn't come true at all, but what was scarier was what could come true if Fakir didn't write the right words.
Fakir sat thinking for a while before finally touching his pen to paper. And then his pen flew across the page. He felt almost that if he let got, the pen would keep writing on its own. Ahiru looked up, wondering what he could be writing. Just as suddenly as it had started moving, Fakir's pen became still. He smiled for a split second, Perfect. Then came a sharp intake of air as the world suddenly spun and rushed upwards around Fakir, leaving him dizzy. Ahiru had blinked for a moment, and in that moment, Fakir had disappeared, leaving only a pile of clothes on the dock. Ahiru quacked in alarm, and rushed towards where Fakir had been. In a few moments, a lump stirred beneath Fakir's shirt. It seemed to be trying to find its way out. Ahiru pulled the shirt away by gripping it in her beak. Quite suddenly she found herself face to face with a drake. Ahiru stood on the dock stunned for a moment.
Then she started laughing.
Author's Notes: Wow! I haven't written in forever. But I was drawing a sketch for Fakiru week when I was suddenly hit by a fanfic idea. I'm feeling so super motivated and inspired. But I really should be working on schoolwork. I have some reading to do for History. Plus an essay to write. Ugh essays. Anyway, I know that this kind of looks like a typical fic where Fakir decides to sacrifice his humanity and whatevs to be with Ahiru, but I promise it is not the same old thing you've read a million times, mmk? Theres a twist and you'll get to find out in the second chapter! I mean seriously, didn't you notice how happy Fakir has been toward the end of this chapter? How can I allow that when it's so fun to watch him squirm? Stay tuned for the next segment where Fakir makes a simply crushing discovery. Oh, I can't wait! See you then :) (Ku ku ku)
