Herculean Efforts

Summary: Call it hubris, call it luck, but only once before has she had her mistakes come back to bite her this badly. 6x23 with a twist.

Category: AU

Pairing: Caskett

Rating: T


Despite what her partner always insists, Kate Beckett is no stranger to screwing up. She's no stranger to being a stubborn, frustrating, maddening pain in the ass. To making tiny errors in judgement that have quickly turned into hurt feelings, even blowouts with loved ones. She isn't above massive fuck ups, not by any stretch of the imagination; she's just been able to fix her blunders and move forward each time she does.

Call it hubris, call it luck, but only once before has she had her mistakes come back to bite her this badly. Now she's coming face to face with one of her biggest fuck ups, and it couldn't have come at a worse time. She's days away from one of the best things she's ever going to do in her life and this has the potential to ruin that.

Castle swears it isn't her fault (when he's not busy being a comedian about this whole thing, that is). He swears they'll figure out a way to get things settled in time, but she can't be as confident as her husband-to-be. How is it not her fault? How could she have been that far gone, drunk on cheap, shitty vodka and rebellion, and not have realized what she had done? How could she not even think back on it and wonder?

She's married.

Not to Castle. Not to the man she's supposed to marry in just over two days, the father of her child and the actual, literal, (as sappy as it may be) only one she wants. No, she's married to the deadbeat, good for nothing guy she'd spent a month with when she was eighteen because she could. She's married to the guy she dumped because – after cash had been disappearing from her apartment for weeks – she found him raiding her underwear drawer for her emergency credit card and he'd tried to tell her he was "just running out for some food." Right.

To make it worse, she still remembers his words in the cab, Rogan's,

"It's just for fun, Kit-Kat, totally fake. Besides, it'll be great to screw with people, right?"

Ugh, what an idiot she'd been.

What happens in Vegas definitely doesn't stay in Vegas.

And now she has to find this guy, this ex who's apparently not, and convince him to sign divorce papers so she can move on with her life. She'll do whatever it takes to get this done in time.

Of course, she'd look a whole lot more menacing without the car seat in the back of her cruiser (and ugh, she's going to hear it from Gates about the added mileage), but it is what it is. Beyond needing the security of her car, she had no time to pump enough for more than a couple bottles and she's not going to leave Castle to try to convince Aidan to take formula instead of breast milk for the first time. Instead, the three of them are on their first family road trip.

To get mommy's divorce.

What a mess.

Kate can just hear her mother saying she told her so. Not the time, mom, not the time.

"Hey," Castle murmurs, twisting in his seat to face her. It's the first thing that's been said since they left Manhattan an hour ago and his hesitance is obvious. "It's gonna be okay."

She doesn't look at him. Instead her eyes dart to her side mirrors and then to the rear view, where she can see her son is still asleep, his head lolled to one side in the picture of innocence. He'll be hungry soon, which means they'll have to stop for her to nurse. She'll just have to keep the pace steady while she can.

"Beckett," her partner tries again. "You're white knuckling."

"Castle," she snaps. "I'm driving the speed limit in the center lane. I think I got it."

"Yes, I know that. I'm just saying your hands are going to hurt if you keep holding the wheel that tightly."

Maybe he's right, but if she doesn't hold onto something, she's going to lose it.

"I'm fine."

"You're not," he argues. "Come on, just relax."

"Relax? Castle, I'm dragging my fiancé and my three month old baby on a 4 hour – one way – trip to get divorce papers signed by a man I haven't even seen in over a decade. And I don't know if you've noticed while you've been getting your yuks in, but this actually bothers me. So no, not going to be relaxing much until I get this done."

Of course, her outburst has her son stirring in his seat, whining plaintively. Just her luck. Kate holds her breath, waiting for the pitiful wailing to start, for the cue to pull over and feed him or just hold him for a few minutes.

Castle reaches back, squirming his arm around the hard plastic of the carrier to rub the baby's cheek. Good, he's taking the proactive approach.

"Shh, shh, buddy, you're okay. Nothing to worry about here. Mommy and I'll be quiet."

Beckett releases a shaky exhale when Aidan settles, smacking his lips and curling his hand around his father's finger. Well, that's one crisis averted. She needs her baby to be happy, even if she's not.

"I'm sorry," her groom murmurs moments later, touching her leg with the hand not draped into the backseat. "I took the joking too far. I just wanted to lighten the mood the way I always do."

"Yeah, well, you didn't. I know how screwed up all this is and I just want to get it done. So don't make fun, okay? I'm working my ass off so I can marry you, remember?"

"I remember. I'm sorry, I won't do it again," he promises, thumbing the outside of her thigh. A sideways glance at him tells her he might actually mean it.

"Thank you. I'd hate to have to explain to Aidan why I killed his daddy two days before I was supposed to marry him."

He chuckles, squeezing her leg in response. Yeah, let him think she's joking.

Joke or not, the ache in her chest lessens and she relaxes her death grip on the steering wheel. A few minutes later, Castle eases his finger away from their son, twisting in the passenger seat to sit facing forward again.

They don't speak, but once she clears an eighteen-wheeler, she lets her hand drift across the console to meet his. Fighting with him sucks. It tears at her from the inside out, leaves her raw. This is supposed to be a happy week; they're supposed to be getting married, not fighting or dealing with angst and frustrations beyond making sure everything comes together.

"I'm sorry," she breathes, slotting her fingers through his as soon as he turns his palm up. "I'm angry at myself."

Castle's thumb slides over hers. "For a stupid decision you made when you were eighteen? Beckett, that's practically the definition of being eighteen."

"I know that, it's just… I've never had something I've done backfire so spectacularly on me. This could ruin everything, and it'll be my fault."

"Whoa, whoa, hey. This will ruin nothing. I'm still here, Aidan's still here. We're not gonna love you less because of this. We're still going to get married."

"Aidan's never going to hear about this. Once Rogan signs the papers and Henry files them, this will never be mentioned again."

Her fiancé nods, lifting her hand to his mouth. Ugh, he's going to do it again, isn't he? He's going to - as the boys call it behind her back - Beckett Whisper her again with that damn calming voice and the little kisses and touches. "Duly noted."

"I just, I thought it was a gag. Like an interactive stage act or something; one of those things you do when you're in Vegas. See a show, get hammered, go to the casino, have a ridiculous drive-thru wedding. I thought the papers were liability papers or something; don't blame us if you get into an accident leaving the property because you're laughing your ass off, that kind of thing. It didn't even cross my mind that it wasn't just as fake as the guy picking some poor audience member's pocket and calling it magic."

Castle huffs at that, at the idea that magic isn't always that magical, but doesn't cut her off.

"It didn't even feel real, none of it did."

"I know, Kate." It's quiet against her knuckles. "You didn't know. And so what if it was legit legally; it doesn't change you and it's not going to change our wedding. Our wedding's going to be real, and it's going to be perfect."

Kate sighs, head dropping back against the seat. She needs her hand back, but the warm press of his fingers is helping ground her. Same thing with his words. She's been Beckett Whispered again.

"Okay, so when we get there, we're going straight to his place. You guys need to stay in the car. I don't want to bring either of you into this if he's going to go nuts on me."

"Do you think he's likely to? 'Cause if he is, I am going in with you."

"And what about Aidan? You gonna leave your son in here with the window cracked?"

His eyes narrow at her quip. "Fair enough. We'll stay in the car."

"Thank you. And no, I don't think it's likely. Rogan's a slime ball, but as far as I remember, he's harmless. I just want to be sure."

Castle squeezes her hand. "Kay. But text me if you need backup."

"And you'll strap the baby onto your chest and come barreling in?"

"Yup." His lips pop. "It'll be the debut of the Daddy and Me Writer Vest."

Her eyes roll. "Cute."

"I am, aren't I?"

Taking her hand back, she makes a show of curling her fingers loosely around the wheel. Castle hums in satisfaction, patting her thigh before turning the radio up. Thankfully, Aidan sleeps on in the back, oblivious to the task ahead.

"So, Kit-Kat, what brings you to Willow Creek, huh? You walking the nostalgia trail, tracking down old flames to discover who you really are?"

Rogan really hasn't changed since she last saw him. Not that she's surprised after tracking him down and finding him in the same place they met: a bar. Only this time he was getting his ass kicked by a girlfriend instead of hustling a couple of idiot college boys at pool.

Beckett ignores the obvious once-over he gives her, crossing her arms over her chest to hide more of her from his gaze. Yes, she's curvier than she used to be, even more so after having the baby, doesn't mean he gets to leer.

"Ah… no. No I'm not. I'm pretty clear on that. But I do need to talk to you about something."

Moment of truth.

She sits, perching gingerly on the edge of an armchair that's seen better days. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, but she doesn't stop to take it out and look. It's probably Castle checking in, texting her silly pictures to calm her nerves.

"That sounds serious. And not like you at all. Remember all the fun we had? Those were good times, weren't they?" He exhales wistfully, shaking his head as he holds the bag of peas to his face.

"Well… actually those good times are why I'm here. Do you remember that trip we took to Vegas?"

His face blanks.

"Ah… I don't know. It's a little fuzzy. But most of my best memories are." He grins around the makeshift ice pack.

Same old Rogan. How different she'd been back then if she'd actually found this act of his charming.

Still, she tries again, "So when we were there do you recall a cab ride and a drive up chapel?" Maybe that'll spark his memory. It certainly had for her.

There's a flicker of recognition in his eyes, but he buries it with another joke, a deflection, "Nope, but I do recall a dine and dash on the Strip. Huh? Do you remember that, with the hoagies?"

Her phone buzzes again, and she chances a glimpse at it as Rogan tries to remind her of another one of her less-shining moments. Castle texting her again. What a pair they make; she's using all her training to keep herself steady, and if he's texting her this much, he's not as calm as he's pretending to be. She lets her fingers drift over the screen, hoping they're hitting the right spots to reply that she's almost there.

"Um, well you know you're probably going to find this funny, but as it turns out … you and I have been married for fifteen years."

Well, at least it's getting easier to admit. Maybe Castle was right and they'll be able to laugh about this very soon. Maybe it'll be just like the Lego story, or the turkey fry tale. That would be nice.

"Married?"

"Mhmm," she confirms, biting her lip quickly.

"For realsies?"

Seriously, Rogan? Burying the urge to smack him with the bag of frozen peas in his hand, she just nods.

"Yeah."

"That is hilarious. How long have you known that?" He's grinning now. Of course he's grinning.

"Well … I just found out." It's the truth. She did just find out. And now all she has to do is grab the papers, get something resembling his signature, and she can be on her way. "But you know what? It's not a big deal because all you have to do is sign this and you're off the hook."

He doesn't sign though, doesn't even take the proffered pen. Instead, he looks her over again. "You know, it's a – it is a pretty nice hook, you know?"

No. No, no, this was supposed to be easy. He was supposed to balk and trip over everything to cut himself loose.

"I mean heck, we have been married this long. Maybe we should just give it a cha-"

Rogan actually jumps at the sound of a fist landing against the door. "Beckett, open up."

Castle?

Getting to her feet, she trots to the door, avoiding looking back at Rogan. He was supposed to stay in the car. He promised.

But now that she's closer, she can hear her son's pathetic, hungry cries through the wood. That's why he's here. Damn it, her little trip to the bar threw them off schedule. And now that she's thinking about it, her body's been telling her it's time for Aidan to eat, too.

"Kit-Kat? You expecting company?"

Ignoring Rogan, she yanks the door open, reaching for the baby immediately.

"You're okay, you're okay," she soothes, pressing her lips to his dark hair. Her eyes lift to Castle's in apology. This must be what he's been trying to tell her for the last twenty minutes, while Rogan's laughed it up and stalled.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, speaking to them both. "Let's get you fed and then I'll deal with this."

"Uhh…" Rogan breaks in. "What the heck is this?"

Rolling her eyes, she thumbs the back of her son's head. "Your bedroom's that way?"

"Yeah? What, why?"

"Good."

Marching off with Aidan, she leaves the two men – her ex and her future – staring at each other suspiciously. At least she remembers to grab a diaper and wipes out of Castle's pocket on the way. This day might be a disaster – hell, their wedding day might end up being a disaster – but they still have their shared brain thing.

Her rapid heartbeat settles as soon as her son's latched on, the rhythmic curl of his fingers against her breast reassuring her as much as it does him. It always calms her to nurse, even when they were both first learning how to do this.

"We're pros at this now, aren't we baby?" she murmurs. Her son's only response is the flutter of his eyelids and the hallowing of his cheeks. He's not interested in her conversation; he's in the zone. "I'm sorry I made you wait. And I'm sorry I dragged you and Daddy along for this."

She won't sit on Rogan's bed, even if it is to nurse her son, so she sways with him instead.

"I thought I was so smart, so grown up. But I messed it up. I've messed a lot up, sweet boy. Don't let your daddy and his romantic streak fool you; I make a lot more mistakes and he forgives my stupid a lot more than he'll admit. But I forgive his dumb mistakes too. 'Cause I love hi - ow."

Her thumb slides over her son's cheek. "Don't gum me so hard, goofy. You can switch sides if you're not getting enough."

Thankfully, the switch is easy and he settles against her breast again without protest. She might be a terrible wife already, but at least she's a semi-decent mother.

It's only after she's coaxed a belch out of her son that Kate wonders if leaving Castle outside with Rogan was the best idea. She hasn't heard anything indicating conflict, but she also hasn't heard any of Castle's usual jovial laughter, the kind that gets everybody on his side whether they want to be or not. She's not sure what that means.

For his part, Aidan takes it in stride when she changes him on a stranger's bed and lifts him back against her shoulder. A vindictive part of her wants to leave the soiled diaper under Rogan's pillow to punish him for his unwillingness to just sign the papers and let her get out of there, but she doesn't. Instead she detours to the kitchen to drop the diaper in the garbage.

The absence of even meaningless, idle chatter is striking.

"Is everyone conscious?" she calls cautiously, breaking the silence.

"We're okay, Beckett. Aidan?"

"He's fine." She bounces Aidan gently, earning a quiet little squeak from her now-satisfied baby. "He's going to act like he's dying the first time he stubs his toe, I can already tell. Like father, like son."

Her fiancé chuckles. He knows he's melodramatic.

Rounding the corner into the living room, she finds Castle where she left him, near the now-closed door. Rogan hasn't moved from his armchair, but his cocky posture has morphed into something more defensive. Huh.

Her ex's eyes cut to her, to Aidan specifically, his gaze wary. Oh, now she gets it. It's not Castle, it's the baby.

"Relax, Rogan," Kate drawls, running her finger down her son's cheek. "He's a baby, not a bomb. And you didn't mind staring at my boobs when you thought they were fake."

"Kit-Kat, I was appreciating how good you look. And hey! You're someone's mom!"

Beside her, Castle murmurs "Kit-Kat?" under his breath. Rolling her eyes, she thumbs Aidan's leg, crossing the room to drop back into the chair opposite her ex.

"Sign the papers, Rogan. Let me get my kid out of here."

This time he actually picks up the pen, only to drop it and look past her to Castle.

"You know your manny doesn't look too happy."

"My manny is Richard Castle, my future husband. And he'd like you to sign these papers, too."

"Get out, you're marrying the author?"

Turning Aidan to face Rogan, she drops her head onto his little shoulder. Maybe it's mean to use her son to intimidate the man, but at this point she's willing to try it. "Not if you don't sign the divorce papers, Rogan."

"So that's a no to reliving old times?"

"If by old times, you mean the times when you and I got drunk and you suggested getting married as a joke, or the times you stole from me and tried to sleep with my roommate, or the times you lied to me and played me for a fool, then yeah, it's a no to reliving old times. And aren't you in the middle of a 'lover's quarrel' anyway?"

"Ouch, you make it sound so terrible. We had good times, too. Remember that time we -"

"Rogan," she snaps, thumbing Aidan's belly when he jolts at her tone. "It's not cute, it's not funny, I'm just trying to get married to someone I actually want to be married to. So sign the papers and you can get back to doing whatever it is you do."

"Okay, okay." He touches pen to paper again, only to stop. "But what if, maybe, you did me a favor first?"

"Excuse me?"

Aidan's fingers find their way to her face, undoubtedly masking some of her incredulity, but she kisses them and moves his hand away. Rogan shrinks back under her glare, only to bounce back a second later.

"You know, Kit-Kat, just a… favor. You help me out, I help you out."

"So you're blackmailing me?" she says, knowing without looking that Castle has made his way to her.

"Not sure you really want to do that, blackmail a cop," her fiancé murmurs, his voice low, careful.

"Whoa, whoa, I didn't say anything about blackmail. I said a favor. Fa-vor. And it's just a little one anyway. That makes it pretty much tit for tat, right? I do something for you, you do something for me?"

"Remember that part about her being a cop," Castle butts in before she can even formulate a response. "She will shoot you. Hell, I might shoot you."

"Okay, wow. I hate to tell you this, Kit-Kat, but you're marrying a douche."

Her fiancé bristles beside her. "You're a dou-"

"Castle?" she cuts him off, standing. "Why don't you take the baby outside and I'll finish this. Please?"

Castle looks like he wants to argue, but he takes Aidan from her instead, turning his attention to his son.

"Let's go, buddy. Mommy'll be out soon," he coos, glancing at Rogan again, the warning clear in his eyes.

"Thank you," Beckett murmurs, lifting onto her toes to kiss him. "I will make this up to you in so, so many ways."

It's a promise she will work her ass off to keep.

Castle nods, facing her again. "Looking forward to it, Beckett."

"Good." She forces a smile. "Entertain Daddy please," she murmurs, kissing Aidan's fingers. "Get him to tell you a story."

"Daddy can do that, though these days I think Mommy's stories are more interesting."

Her eyes narrow. "Cute."

But he just grins, the harmless tease proving he's okay.

She waits until Castle closes the door behind him to face her ex once more.

"Fine," she agrees, watching Rogan sit up straighter. "But this is how it's going to go: you sign the papers first, and then tell me what you want me to do. If it puts my son in danger, I won't do it. If it puts my partner in danger, I won't do it. And I'm getting married in two days whether you want to play fair or not."

It takes the full two days and near-Herculean efforts, but she pulls it off. They pull it off. She couldn't have done any of it if not for Castle. If not for his unyielding faith, his reassurance, his shoulder to rest her head on when the sleepless night started to feel like too much. Even his willingness to back her and do whatever it took to keep her end of the bargain, despite his personal desire to get in the car and drive home immediately after getting Rogan's signature.

His – their – bank account might be a little lighter, but in the process of buying Rogan's second chance with Tildy, they also were able to take down some pretty terrible people. Even she's a little blown away by how they manage to accomplish these things.

Now, thanks to their paperwork being pushed through quickly, she's married. For real this time. The only ring she's going to wear is on her finger and her husband, the love of her life, is waiting with their son so the three of them can take a moonlit stroll down the beach.

They could've stayed the night at the loft – or the lavish hotel across the street from their gorgeous rooftop venue – before driving to the Hamptons for their getaway, but after bidding their guests goodnight and making sure everyone had a safe way home, they'd just wanted to go. To be alone, or as alone as they can be with an infant.

It's late, but neither of them care too much about bedtimes and keeping to their routine. Nothing about the last week has been routine.

At least tonight's disruption has been for them, for Aidan, for their family.

For their future.

"Beckett, come on, we're missing the moon!"

She might roll her eyes, but there's no mistaking the eagerness in her tone. "I'm coming, Castle. Did you even change? Or are you and the baby just rolling your pant legs up and going with it?"

She hears the crickets through the open door before her husband's weak "No," carries through the house.

It doesn't matter, and her laughter as she pads downstairs in an oversized sweater and leggings tells him that. So what if he wants to get his expensive tux sandy? So what if the baby's going to be asleep on his shoulder before they even make it down to the beach? So what if they're both running on adrenaline and excitement. They got married tonight.

They can do whatever they want.


A/N: Now, I know 6x23 is not a universal favorite, so if you gave this fic a chance in spite of that, thank you. This was a plot bunny that wiggled its way into my head when I was plotting Out of the Blue and it wouldn't let me go even when I refused to give it a place in that story. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out as an AU of its own, though.