Title: Reflections
Rating: G
Pairing / characters: Jiraiya-sensei
Word count: 488 words
Warnings: Character death
Summary: Jiraiya has many thoughts in the last moments of his life
A/N: I wrote this ages ago, actually. sweatdrop dunno why I'm only posting it now…
I am the gallant Jiraiya, otherwise known as Gama-sennin, he who rides frogs and tames them. I am one of the Three, a sannin, whose legendary feats are known far and wide. I am a student of the Third, teacher of the Fourth, and friend – and mentor – to the son of the Fourth, he who carries the nine tails. I am a lover of women and a writer of porn. I am known by all, but seen by few.
I am Jiraiya, and I am dying.
I mention legendary feats known by all, but they are feats of extraordinary stupidity. I have only ever loved one woman and I suspect she knows it, but Tsunade and I would never have suited each other. Despite our long friendship, we would more than likely kill each other than anything else, because even now, the only thing we truly have in common is loss.
Minato and Sarutobi… Nawaki and Dan… Orochimaru… the life of a shinobi is difficult. We can't become too attached to people, knowing how frail life is, and how easily it can be taken away from us, but nor can we stop loving, or we risk becoming like our enemies. Tsunade and I are forever bound in our love for a brat who looks more like his father every day.
Naruto has become our saving grace in more ways than one.
My one regret is a weakness I could never fully overcome. I was too carefree, letting my emotions rule my head and my heart. In my youth I was too hotheaded, in my old age I lack the courage to change who I have become. I've seen so much change in Konoha, death… loss… defection… triumph… rebirth… and it brings me joy and sorrow in equal parts. I'll never know if I could have aided Sarutobi in his quest to kill Orochimaru, and I think a part of me will forever envy Tsunade – because no one can say she never tried. I will also never know if I could have contributed to Konoha's success. I see so many talented shinobi, so many children who possess the will of fire, and I am thankful that I at least had the chance to pass on my old skills – even if it was just to teach a brat the rasengan.
Through my life, through the memories of the people I loved, people who died so others could live, I believe that at last this act redeemed me. My choice to fight for Naruto, for Konoha, for those who have gone before me… I did not and would never say that I was selfish enough to do this for myself.
I am a vain, stubborn, old man, but I am not selfish.
I… I am Jiraiya.
Gama-sennin; he who rides frogs and tames them.
I am one of the Three, a sannin.
I am dying.
I am, at last, a hero.
