Hello!! Welcome to my Fanfic. I felt that Edward's point of view during Bella's change needed to be written, but I couldn't find any that would come close to satisfy. So I decided to write them myself. The first chapter is during her change, and the second after she wakes up. Working on a third chapter about the hunt currently, but send me reviews to let me know if you still want it! All belongs to the fabulous Stephanie Meyer, of course!

p.s. Italics are usually thoughts, in case you couldn't tell.

Enjoy!!

"Move your hands, Jacob."

Jacob looked up at me suddenly, confusion and shock reining in his thoughts.

I could feel my determination as I watched my poor Bella die. I would not allow this. It killed me to take her soul, but I was too selfish to have it any other way. I just couldn't do nothing. I had prepared, thinking of all the ways to make it faster, less painful for her. I remembered that with all our changes, the closer to the heart the venom entered, the faster it spread. I had been saving all my venom that welled in my mouth from smelling my beautiful angel, religiously spitting into a steel cup and freezing it. When we knew the birth was days away, I prepared the syringe. I was going to inject my venom straight into her heart.

"What's that?" Jacob asked.

He hadn't moved his hand so I quickly brushed it out of my way, hearing a slight snap as I did. I plunged the needle down, deep into her faltering heart.

Be strong my sweet.

"My venom," I replied coldly as I smashed the plunger down, knowing as I did that I was just ripping her selfishly away from heaven. I prayed to whatever gods were listening that she would someday forgive me.

I almost jumped to hear a loud and hard jolt in her heart.

"Keep it moving." I demanded of Jacob, whose thoughts were in a whirlwind of pain and doubt. I had long ago banished all emotions from my body, the only way I could have made it through this trial. I had known it was going to be hard, but this was more difficult than anything I could have imagined. I had pushed everything away so I could focus and give Bella the best chance at making it through this. I just hoped it was enough.

Jacob did as I asked and began to frantically pump her heart once more. I began my next trial, finally tasting Bella for the first time since the ballet studio, tearing into her skin over and over with my teeth, infecting her in as many places as possible. The flavor should have been intense, awakening the beast inside of me demanding more. But all I felt was the pain of knowing what suffering she would have, remembering the vivid pain of my changing. I felt revulsion at first from Jacob as he realized what I was doing. But when he noted that as I washed each wound with my venom coated tongue, the wound closed, and my venom and her precious blood was sealed inside her body.

We worked frantically over her body, repairing and putting my precious angel back together, but I could hear Jacob as he lost hope. She was already dead to him. I knew he would rather have her dead then to change into a leech, and hated him for leaving her in her hour of need. I could read his need to leave, to escape the scene before us.

"Go, then," I viciously snapped, pushing his hands out of the way with more force than really necessary, hearing the fine snaps of more of his fingers broken and felt satisfied at the sound. I pushed her heart with more faith, rougher, needing this to work.

"She's not dead." I growled, more to myself then to him. "She's going to be fine." I had to hold onto this simple belief. I would not let her go so easily, not give up on her. She had promised.

Jacob faded completely from my thoughts as I labored over my beloved. She was so limp, unresponsive……NO!! I refused to lose faith, working her heart evenly but roughly. Her blood felt thick and solid.

Suddenly I felt movement beneath my hands, and leapt back with surprise. Her heart started beating, changing.

I waited, nervous. Her heart continued it rhythm, hard and fast, beating against her rib cage. I knew it had begun then. I waited, and waited listening to each frantic heartbeat, knowing that soon I would never hear its precious sound again. The screams I expected to burst forth from her as the venom seared her veins never came.

Was she in pain yet? I couldn't tell. I had put so much morphine in her system to try and make a feeble attempt at saving her from the relentless suffering. Carlisle and I had discussed this, and I know that he had attempted to test his theory with Emmett, but the venom had leapt ahead of the morphine, sealing his veins against the drug. Bella's eyes remained closed, and I listened to her pant. It seemed a desperate sound, dragging in and expelling the air roughly. She still hadn't moved.

"Bella?" I asked.

Fear cracked my emotionless shell. She was so still other than her breathing. Was that normal? I couldn't know. I took a deep breath to calm myself, looking around the room. Only then did I notice that the entire room, including Bella and I, were covered in blood. My sweet Bella's blood. Could there be enough left inside of her for the change?

I began cleaning up, changing quickly into some scrubs that were stacked in the corner of the room, washing up in the sink. Bella's blood called to me, but after so long resisting its sweet temptation, and the shocks of the day it was easy to push away. I cleaned my wife meticulously, knowing that waking (and she WOULD wake, I had to believe) up covered in human blood would not be ideal.

As I cleaned the room, bleaching all traces of blood away from the room I let my thoughts drift to downstairs. Rosalie was cooing to the baby while feeding her. I could hear Jacobs's thoughts as he stared at my daughter, for a brief moment afraid until I actually listened to the words in his thoughts.

She is so perfect. Is she warm enough? The blonde leech has ice cold skin. But no, she isn't crying, so she must be alright. Maybe I should get a blanket just in case…..

What was this? Jacobs's sudden change of heart and mind about my daughter confused me. I dug deeper at his mind, trying to find the source of the change. Then I realized why his feelings felt so familiar. I had heard and felt the same devotion when reading Sam, as he was thinking about his Emily.

I was shocked to see the bindings that held him to my daughter. How dare that damn mutt imprint on my daughter! Suddenly furious, I wanted to stomp down and beat the mutt into a bloody mass of goo, but I couldn't leave my Bella, even for a moment. I growled, then pushing the thought from my mind, I decided to deal with it later. Bella was my main concern right now. I sat, holding Bella's hand, whispering gently in her ear. I wasn't sure if she could hear me, but it reassured me as I tried to reassure her.

"Bella, love I'm so sorry, it will end soon."

After what seemed an eternity I heard Carlisle and the others turn the car into our drive. Now focused on their minds, I could hear the worry and fear at what they would find.

Bella's body was completely healed now, except for deep bruising where she had been torn open. I winced at these memories, crystal clear in my vampire mind, shuddering at the thought of her ravaged body. I was such a monster to put her through all of this.

I heard Rosalie at the door to the study and turned to find her smiling gently down at Renesmee. Renesmee, my daughter. I gazed at her perfect miniature features, enthralled again with love for her. Rosalie wordlessly handed her to me, her mind radiating the love of her momentary moment of motherhood. I saw that Renesmee was sleeping soundly, not even aware of the transfer of arms. She sleeps…..

I heard Alice meeting Carlisle at the door, catching him up on the news. In seconds they were both upstairs, peering in at Bella.

"Excellent work, son, the change is begun. And Alice tells me that the child made it as well." Carlisle said, stepping next to me. I heard his breath catch as he caught sight of Renesmee for the first time. "My god, Edward, she is stunning!"

I watched as Carlisle became entranced as we all were.

"She had my features and hair color it seems." I cooed while brushed lovingly at her soft copper locks. They were like silk, so soft, so fine. The curls ringed my fingers, and I felt pure joy well up in me for the first time that day. Her dreams, just tiny flickers of light and sound, and occasional familiar faces started to fade.

Renesmee sighed in her sleep and rolled toward my touch, just as Bella did in her sleep. She yawned, and opened her eyes, looking up at me.

I froze with shock.

Bella's eyes stared back at me, and I felt her thoughts as she recognized me. She reached for me, and I held her close breathing her in and crooning sweetly at her. Her scent was different from all I had ever known. I could smell the blood running in her veins; hear the heart fluttering quietly, but there was no draw. I was relieved and grateful that I would never have to fight the monster within me to resist her blood, as I had for Bella. I could hold my daughter with no fear. I then noticed what was so familiar about her scent, she smelled also of vampire. Maybe it was this that desensitized me to her blood.

She smiled then, showing a full complement of pearly white teeth. If I had thought her beautiful before, this transformed her face into radiance. I could do nothing but stare and love her more.

I broke my trance when her eyes wandered from me to my family, wandering over them each, studying them with a shocking intelligence. I could hear her mind, so bellas quirk had not been passed along. I saw through her eyes as she finally located Bella, lying on the table.

"Yes baby, that's her, your mother." I said to her quietly, answering her unspoken question in her thoughts. "She's sleeping right now, she needs time to recover, but she'll be here with you soon." I promised her, praying that it was true.

"She has a gift." Rosalie stated. I turned to her questioningly, "She can project her thoughts into your mind simply by touching you with her hands." I gasped at the memory in Rosalie's thoughts, amazed again by my daughter.

"Amazing!" I whispered.

"May I hold her?" Esme asked quietly. I knew that she did not want to intrude on my moment with my daughter, but I could not deny my mother this joy, so I gently passed her over.

"Pretty baby," Esme cooed, and I recognized a fellow worshiper in her tone. She gently rocked her back and forth, singing softly. I could hear my daughters happiness, and then it replayed in Esme's mind as my daughter reached up to touch her face. Shock crossed Esme's mind as then a jolt of pure joy. She's truly gifted!! I heard her think. Oh Edward, she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

"Yes, yes she is" I agreed in awe.

The other family members gathered around her, cooing and chuckling at her, introducing themselves. I could hear Jacob lurking in the doorway, not wanting to enter, but unable to be away from my daughter. I smothered a growl. I would deal with this later.

Carlisle began questioning me on what happened. I quickly explained, from the damn cup spilling to the present. He stopped me when I told him about the syringe, looking at me with pride. Edward that was brilliant! I had never thought of injecting it. I had always assumed the bite was the key. Absolutely brilliant!

"But she hasn't moved at all, not a millimeter. Maybe I did something wrong." I replied aloud, my sudden fear showing on my face.

Didn't you say something about getting the morphine in her system? Yes, yes, I can smell it in her now. He thought. "That could be the reason behind her stillness; we can't know how that will affect her change. For all we know she's deeply under the drug, unconscious." We'll keep a close watch, and wait for the morphine to wear off. Let's see what happens at that point.

I wished that I could believe it, but my fear got in the way.

My family moved downstairs, while I stayed with Bella. She seemed much the same, panting hard, her heartbeat fast and desperate, but not moving a muscle. I could not tell how long I sat there, my vigil broken only as Alice came to me and demanded that I take a shower. She pointed out that Bella would not be happy to wake up with me so disheveled and covered in her blood. I was glad, though, when I was clean, it helped me repress the hideous images of her broken body.

Alice had dressed Bella in a soft blue gown, complete with matching stiletto heels. I chuckled at the expression that would surely be on Bella's face when she realized that Alice had dressed her. The sound caught in my throat, making it almost a sob.

Carlisle came in after a while, putting his hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

"Still no change?" he asked.

"None." I replied, hearing my own fear in my tone. I squeezed her hand gently.

"There's no scent of the morphine left." Carlisle said.

"I know." The scent had worn off about 20 minutes ago, but she hadn't moved at all. I was ragged with worry. Surely she must be in agony. If she were alright wouldn't she scream? I could remember my own searing agony with perfect clarity.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Carlisle called, leaning over her still frame to observe her face. There was no response.

"Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" I pleaded for the hundredth time. It was the same as before, nothing, always nothing. If my heart could break, it would be shattered. "Maybe…" I swallowed, "Carlisle, maybe I was too late." My voice broke with my fear and I could see my tortured face in Carlisle's mind. But I had to know.

He smiled softly at me, his thoughts confident and comforting "Listen to her heart, Edward. Its stronger then even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect." His thought took in her paler then normal form. The change was evident in every part of her. A shot straight to the heart. So innovative.

"And her - her spine?" I choked out, wincing at the memory burned into my brain of the hideous sound of her spine being shattered like glass.

Again Carlisle was comforting, "Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's." I could see his memories of Esme after her fall, and felt his internal shudder. "The venom will heal her as it did Esme."

"But she's so still. I must have done something wrong." I whispered.

"Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine." He said calmly and firmly.

Again I wished I had his faith.

"She must be in agony." I whispered. My voice broke, hitching on my sob at the thought of her suffering so badly.

"We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience." Carlisle said.

I reached down closer to her, touching her arm, feeling her rushed pulse. Savoring its sweet song while I could. "Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry." I wondered if she would ever forgive me. I was the cause of all of her suffering. My heart felt like lead, smothering me.

I could hear the argument continue below, as Jacob and Rosalie battled wills over renesmee. I could see how Renesmee clearly felt about her Jacob. Wait, her Jacob?! My thoughts reeled as I took in this information.

Carlisle was wondering if I would come down to help sort out the mess downstairs.

"No, I'm staying right here." I answered aloud. I knew every thought Jacob had had about my daughter, and I had to admit that there was nothing there for me to be truly concerned with. All Jacob wanted was for her to be happy. I could hardly oppose that as it followed my wishes so exactly. "They'll sort it out." Though I still hoped Rosalie would give him hell for me.

"An interesting situation." Carlisle practically chuckled. "And I thought I had seen just about everything."

"I'll deal with it later. Well deal with it later." I squeezed her hand again, willing her to squeeze back.

"I'm sure between the five of us; we can keep it from turning into bloodshed."

I sighed. "I don't know which side to take. I'd love to flog them both." Rosalie's possessive thoughts over my daughter were almost as hard to take as Jacobs. I pushed their thoughts away. "Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think – whose side she'll take…" Carlisle mused aloud.

I let loose a quiet chuckle at the image of Bella facing down Jacob in a towering fury. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does."

Carlisle left me to me vigil. The time felt like eternity as I watched my Bella's face. There was no expression, not pain, not fear, nothing. I could hardly stand it. Once again I wished that I could simply read her mind and see that she was okay. At the same time I was horribly grateful, because I would not be able to endure her pain, the searing agony of the venom.

Another long eternity passed, as I listened to Bella's labored breathing. I kept hold of her hand, never breaking contact with her. I could watch as her body slowly changed, her hand becoming firmer, yet staying so very soft. Her features slowly refined, as if I was watching a veil being lifted ever so slowly from her face. I had thought her the most beautiful person in the world, this purer form of my angel blew me away. My mind could hardly contain my wonder or my heart as I loved her more, something I thought impossible.

I heard Alice dance up the stairs, breezing into the room. I peeked into her thoughts as I asked impatiently, "How much longer?" I knew that Alice had been able to see Bella more clearly now that Renesmee was no longer sharing her body.

"Not much longer," she replied, focusing her mind so I could see an image of Bella, her eyes open, flash in her thoughts. "See how clear she's becoming? I can see her so much better." She sighed, and I saw that she was truly relieved; having feared that she would lose her power to see Bella. She had been worrying that Bella's quirky, silent mind would expand and affect her ability.

"Still feeling a little bitter?" I asked. Another blessing of Renesmee's birth was that our understanding of how Alice's gift worked was deepened; much to Alice's annoyance.

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," She grumbled, "You would be mortified; too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans ok, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing vie ever experienced. Bah!"

"Focus, Alice," I reminded her.

"Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now." She focused her mind, showing us flitting through the trees together, hand in hand. Bella was smiling, her joy shining clearly in her eyes.

I sighed, happy, "She really is going to be fine." My worry was evaporating at the crystal clear image.

"Of course she is." Alice replied, disgruntled that I would ever doubt her.

""You weren't so sanguine two days ago." I reminded her.

She winced, and I was sorry I had reminded her of that horrible time for her. She truly hated to be blind, and had had a horrible headache almost the entire time. "I couldn't see right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me? On the clock – give me an estimate."

She sighed, and then grumbled "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec….." Then turning the twist in her head, focused on the image of Bella's eyes opening, the shifted the view to see the clock….

I saw, and was immensely cheered. She had mere hours to go, she would be perfect. "Thank you, Alice." I was so grateful to her.

"She's going to be dazzling." Alice stated, observing the changes already taken place on Bella.

I growled quietly. "She always has been."

Alice snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "You know what I mean. Look at her."

I was, rendered once again speechless with her beauty. My love for her just kept growing, amazing me again and again. I didn't think it was possible.

Alice left, and I sat in my quiet way, listening to every heartbeat, savoring each one, knowing they were numbered. This upset me, but I kept the image of Bella smiling with joy in my mind, knowing that she wanted this. There was the usual tussle downstairs over holding Renesmee, and I chuckled internally at the fact that my daughter had completely wrapped seven vampires and a werewolf around her fingers in such a short time. Anyone of them would give their life for hers. She was Bella all over again.

Since I was listening so very closely I immediately noted the pickup in her heartbeat. Her hands also cooled against my touch, finally losing their too intense heat.

"Carlisle." I called, knowing he would be listening and hear me. He joined me in the room quickly, Alice following closely behind. Bella's hands were losing more of her unnatural heat, cooling quickly. "Listen," I said.

We all paused, hearing her heartbeat slowly pick up pace.

"Ah, it's almost over." Carlisle said.

My heart rejoiced and broke at the same time. Please, please forgive me, my Bella.

"Soon," Alice agreed with an eager look on her face. "I'll get the others, think I should have Rosalie….?" I watched her mind flit through the possibilities.

"Yes….keep the baby away." She still had human blood, and Bella was now a newborn. No need to put anyone at risk.

I felt Bella's fingers jerk, the smallest amount. I froze, not breathing waiting for more. This was the first movement and I was relieved but desperate for more. I squeezed her hand, encouraging her, "Bella? Bella, love?"

Alice started moving to the door. "I'll bring them right up."

And then Bella's heard practically ground through her chest. It was almost a single sustained note. Her back arched away from the table, her first concession to what must be vicious pain. She slumped back to the table, going limp once more. I heard the others come through the door creating a circle around her.

Hear heart contracted once more, let out a hollow thump, and then was silent. The sound that I had used constantly to reassure myself of her safety, of her life, was gone. I almost felt lost in my grief for the precious sound, but Bella's eyes snapped open at that moment and I was able to take in her face with her new crimson eyes. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

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Next chapter is the awakening! Please Please Please Read and REVIEW!!