Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Copyright infringement is not intended. Ownership belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I do own the character of Legacy though. Warning: This story explores Christian Religious theories, Angels, and the theory on how vampires came into existence. I really don't want to offend anyone so please don't read if you feel offended in any way. If you are not bothered by it, then I hope that you enjoy the read.
Playlist: Glitter in the Air (Pink), Running Up That Hill (Placebo)
Choices and Consequences
I walked this earth for almost six thousand years. There wasn't much that I haven't seen of humanity that could shock me or stop me dead in my track. My purpose was to watch, observe, occasionally guard and I was growing tired of the monotony of it all. An angel can't die unless they decided to follow Lucifer and his carnal ways straight to Hell itself. Or, you could fall and become human. But that takes time and most definitely patience. So I waited biding my time. But that meant I had to wait my turn. There were others before me. Others who were waiting and had considerably much more time than I had.
The year was 1918 and with keen interest and unbeknownst, I watched him. I found the one that I wanted to spend my human life with if I could. For months now I watched him just as I was watching him now going about his days. He had a few friends, loved his father and was devoted to his mother. He was studious, a talented piano player and a graceful dancer. This boy wanted to be a soldier to a war that would soon end and to the devastated heart of his mother; he will never have to go. But if God would grant me my humanity, would he, could he love me? Or would he pass me by?
I could have followed, as no one would have ever seen me. Very few human throughout history have and there were even fewer that could sense that I was there around them, hovering. Mrs. Masen had an uncanny ability to sense things that others could not, so I kept my distance. But from the roof of the bookstore across the street, I watched Edward Masen dutifully help his beloved mother with packages and groceries. I watched them walk up the street although I did not follow; I knew where the Masen residence was. I waited, again biding my time until the celestial bodies where aligned right.
"Don't you find them quite boring?" Legacy asked. Legacy was a true friend indeed, my cohort, and partner in crime so to speak. He didn't understand my deep seeded fascination with human beings. Well, one in particular really. Most of them I did find dreadfully boring, arrogant complainers who were stuck on themselves. But not Edward, he was different. He was the most beautiful human being that I have ever seen. "I mean come on Bella," He went on. "They kind of all look the same. Don't you think?"
"Isn't that why God created the human race," I made a wide swooping gesture to the multitudes of shoppers below and I shook my head vehemently in disagreement. "To have variety, to create something that had the choice to love you or not. These beings are given the greatest gift in the world...freewill."
"Ah! Freewill," He blanched. "What a foreign concept to these creatures. They choose to enslave themselves above all to money, possessions and people. They know not what lies inside them and the power that was truly bestowed on them. But yet they choose to walk on never fully aware as to what they actually posses."
I ignored Legacy as usual. He was my best friend if you could call him that but he showed up at the most inopportune moments. I was tired and I was tired of being alone. From the tattered roof of the bookstore I could see others of our kind dutifully guarding their human charges. There was more to just guarding a mere human every now and again. I wanted to feel what they felt. Every emotion they ever displayed. Eat the food that they almost reverently prepared and then consumed on a daily basis. To lie beside a man and feel the warmth of his flesh radiate towards you. What did Edward feel like? I wanted to know.
I wasn't sure exactly what drew me to him. It was like destiny called to me that we were supposed to be together, to be human, to not be alone. I knew love but only the love that was between the Creator and His subjects. I knew no other love. I crave to feel the kind of love that Adam had for Eve. And oh don't get me started on Lilith. Not that she was a mistake, none of God's creatures are, and I am sure that He still has plans for her somewhere along the line. It was not for me to judge. Since observing the two lovers in the Garden, I wanted what they had. Even when they fell from God's favor, they still held an unmistakable bond towards each other.
Viewing love first hand and then through the millennia aroused pangs of emotions that I didn't know as an angel I could posses. After witnessing Mark Antony and Cleopatra's volatile and passionate love, I vowed before my self and God above that I would feel this way some day. I wanted it. Desired it. Above all else I had to have it as my very own.
"Was there a reason that you've come to torture me, Legacy?" My head bowed down still watching the people mill about with quickness as the evening approached.
"You know," He sighed. "You have finally been assigned." He said this with almost disgust and disgrace.
I felt a small smile creep at the corners of my mouth. "Finally," I said with probably too much excitement.
"Don't get yourself too excited just yet," He fumed. "After our sunset worship, you are to meet specifically with Uriel. Meeting with elders Bella is never a good portent."
"Not good for whom, Legacy," I wanted him to feel a twinge jealousy but it was an emotion that would never cross his mind.
When an angel changes, their change is complete. There is no going back. God knows that once we are changed there is little choice before us. We can remain miserable for all of eternity or He can allow us to experience the free will He loving bestowed upon His human creation.
In contemplation and silent prayer, we sat watching the sun as it began to dip lower behind the horizon. The mill of the street below was muted as the Song of the Seraphim filtered through the air and landed worshipingly on our lips. Angels were messengers, guardians and charges to humans but the Seraphim were in constant worship of our Lord. Never, in my account, have I ever heard of them falling away from Heaven. They surrounded the very Throne Room of God singing Holy, Holy, Holy. Every evening and every sunrise the heavens stopped for just a brief moment to glorify the Eternal Loving Father. It didn't matter where in the world you were the quiet chatter of the angels stopped. A beautiful array of Seraphic voices splayed from the Heavens. Humans would never hear this. Oh how I wish they could, but human ears alone could never contain the beauty. It was beyond the realm of their wildest imaginations.
When the evening veneration for our Father was over and without the slightest twinkling of thought, I was sitting on the white-capped mountains of the Himalayas across from Uriel himself. Even for an angel, I felt a slight twinge of fear emanate from an elder. This was only the second time in my long career as an angel that I was in the presence of an elder. The first was when the Lord incarnated Himself as a mortal man and then was on display. Nailed to a cross for all humanity to see…and to die for. Not an Arc Angel, or elder was to be found in heaven that day. Jerusalem was filled with Passover patrons, Roman soldiers and angels alike. The world was changed that afternoon both in Heaven and on Earth. Even as an angel myself I couldn't look upon an Arc nor could the face of an elder be distinguished.
Just as I sit here now a brilliant light blinded the face of Uriel. What his features were, I couldn't tell you. But his beauty was beyond space and time. In his lap he held a scroll that I was sure held my orders. I suppose that if angels could get sick, I would have. But since I don't eat, that would be fantastically impossible. I wished for the briefest moment that Legacy could be here to hold my hand. But this was something that I had to do myself. This is what I wanted, much to his dismay.
"Bella," Uriel's voice shock and vibrated off the mountains most definitely causing an avalanche or two somewhere. He unrolled the scroll that lay before him. It was blank until he fully unrolled it. Then words appeared in some language only known between God and His elders. "Is it by your choice that you choose to fall away and follow the human race?"
"Yes, sir it is," I said keeping my eyes in my lap.
Again in reverberation his voice rocked the mountain, "It here by on the thirteenth day in nineteen hundred and eighty-eight that your day of absolution shall be granted by the Lord God Himself."
No! No, no, no! They had this all wrong! Edward would be dead by then, or at the very least, waiting in the throws of death. I wanted to spend it with him! This couldn't be! I opened my mouth to protest but words wouldn't find me. And Uriel kept reading from the scroll completely unaware of my silent pleas. "On that day you will be born unto a human family of God's choosing. You will have no former memory of your time as an angel. Bella, you are one of God's perfectly created beings but by your choice you will become fallible, subject to the laws set forth by man. You will no longer be bound to Heaven and it's Creator. You will be set free, as is your choosing. You will look for Grace but never finding it for angels that fall away are not born with it as human beings are. Bella the choice cannot be undone once it is granted. When you and I part ways the order is set in motion and has been put forth selected for that given day in history. There is now no turning back. It is now done and so shall it be."
The cadence of Uriel's voice ceased and he was gone. I alone sat atop the mountain listening to the whipping winds that blew in blinding snow. I sat for days listening to the human voices below asking for help and guidance and never once did God ask me to intervene. I knew that He still loved me. I was His creation but I had made my choice and my choice was not going to involve Edward. He would be an old man when I was just seconds old.
I knew Legacy came to keep me company but I hardly took notice of him and then he was off again on another order to guard some reckless human. I sat there for months wondering about Edward and the life he was leading now. I couldn't bear to see him happy with another, having a career and fathering children that I wished were mine. How did I go so wrong? Would it have helped if I were more specific in my request for humanity? God's time was not my own, so probably not.
Wondering about the isolated mountain top Legacy came to join me once again. "I came to give you a message, Bella."
With only desperation for things he can't change, I glanced at him without saying a word.
"That human," Legacy met my glance and didn't waver. There was not a sad sorry bone in his angelic body for me. They were emotions he could never feel. "That boy is very much ill. He's guaranteed to live only for the next forty-eight hours."
My desperation turned to agony. Where my heart would eventually be I felt an ache that I had never experienced before. Was this heartache? The humans that I scoffed off were right this was painful. I turned to flee but Legacy caught my arm.
"Bella, I can never imagine what you are feeling right now," He bowed his head. "But I am your friend and I do care about you. You are a creation of our most Holy. I came to warn you that there is an immortal lurking amongst the hospital that your human is at."
"Why are you telling me this?" I questioned. "Immortals do not scare me. In fact, they like humans cannot see us."
As he fled I could hear his voice still lingering on the wind, "It's just a warning, Bella. Use how ever you will."
A millisecond later I found Edward's frail, blood stained and fever ridden body strewn amongst others of a similar nature just in various stages of sickness. I had to curse myself for not being here sooner. Instead I chose to wallow in my in self imposed isolated mountain top prison. I did the only thing I could do. I prayed.
"God," I got down on my knees the way I had see other throughout the centuries do when sending their heartfelt requests to God. "I know that you can still hear me. You can see me. I know the request that I have made of you and I will honor that. I wanted free will and you have given it to me. A life with Edward was not meant to be for me and I know this now. But God, he's still so young. He has his whole life ahead of him. He deserves a wife and children. Oh, Lord, even if we cannot be together surely there is some one out there that is deserving of his love."
My eyes began to sting and well up until they over flowed. I was crying…I was crying! Angels don't cry. They can't!
In a whisper, "Please, God, I am asking you for a miracle here."
Hours went by and nothing. Edward only got worse. I watched as his frail mother, who was every bit as ill as he, tended to his every need. I wasn't sure if she sensed that I was even there. If she had, she made no show of it. When she finally lay back down on the cot next to him I drew my self closer to Edward.
"Edward," I found my breath hitching and yet I had no need for it. "I wanted you to have a full life, a life so full of happiness and love. You deserve it. I wished I could have been the one to give it to you. And here you lay in the throws of this retched sickness. What I wouldn't give to take this from you. I wish that I could."
Again my eyes stung with the strangeness of tears and I dared to do something that I had never done to any human in six thousand years. I ever so gently laid my head on Edward's chest.
I could hear the air in his body wheeze and wrestle in his lungs. But most notably I heard him sigh and his body relaxed. If this was the only thing I could provide him. The only comfort I could give him before the angel of death took him from my grasp forever, then I would do it.
"Would you," A frail week voice flitted over to me. She knew. How could she not really? Being in throws of death herself, she still felt my presence. "Would you save my son if you could?"
"Yes," I whispered back. But death knew no age. Humans are all marked for death the moment they're born. To the youngest of infants to the eldest of man, they are stamped for time. Every second, minute, hour, day, or any number of years etched into their soul. It was only a matter of time before Death came to claim them.
Weak and just barely audible, "You have to save him. Do anything in your power, please." Mrs. Masen begged. " I know what you are. I have known for months. Is this why you are here? Did you know we were close to death?"
Still laying my head on her son's chest, I whispered back to her, "No." I finally lifted my head and immediately Edward tensed. Not wanting to cause him any more distress, I deftly laid my hand on his arm and saw him calm down again. "I was watching your son."
"You were my Edward's guardian angel then," Her voice sounded even feebler than before. "How come you let this happen?"
"I didn't," I said ever so calmly. "This was God's choosing. Not mine. I was not your son's guardian. He was not my charge."
"Then why?"
"Because I fell in love with him and yet I could never have him."
"Oh, I am sure he would have fallen in love with you. That I know." She almost laughed.
As it saddens my heart, I freely admitted it to her. What would it hurt? She was dying. "By the time I get my chance at humanity, Edward would be gone or at the very least an old man when I was just a child."
Mrs. Masen coughed and sputtered, blood leaking from the corner of her mouth. Her time was now very short. And that's when I saw him, the immortal that posed as a doctor in the hospital. He took no recollection of me. He had no sense of me being there.
I've come across immortals throughout the years. In fact they were as old as humanity itself. Immortals, vampires, creatures of the night, they were the offspring of Cain and Lilith. As Cain was marked so that no human or angel would ever touch him so were his offspring. The myths and legends about vampires were wrong. The stories were made up, started amongst their own kind. They could go out in the sun but humans would know that they were different. Their skin was ingrained in the finest diamond powder, literally. Their skin would sparkle with a rainbow of colors. So most chose to come out at night only while some walked about on cloudy days. Their diet of blood is true and the way of the vampire was to feed on humans. Some took up humanity as their issue and chose to live off the blood of animals instead. This made it easier to blend in with the human population. The eyes of vampires who fed off humans were ruby red. While those immortals that chose animal blood, their eyes were a golden honey color. It was still a hard choice to live by. Most would eventually fall off the proverbial wagon.
And then the words of Legacy came flooding back to me. 'It's just a warning Bella. Use how ever you will.' I knew what I had to do. It was the way of the vampire not to betray another. To let a human know what they were was a dangerous thing, not only for the human involved but for the vampire as well. It was a crime amongst their kind and punishable by death. Just because I knew of immortals didn't mean I could tell another soul about them. This immortal doctor didn't need the danger in his life.
"Angel, do you have a name?" Her voice was just above a whisper.
"Yes," I said with glee. "My name is Bella."
"I should have known that a beautiful voice would have such a beautiful name."
"Mrs. Masen?" She didn't acknowledge me but turned her head in my direction. " Please don't speak any more. You need your energy and you need to listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you. Being an angel, I know things and have seen many things that could make a human's head spin. There is a doctor that will be coming in to check on your in a matter if minutes. It is not my nature to disclose what he truly is but he can help your son if you wish it so.
"When he comes to wipe the sweat and blood from your face tell him that you know what he is, that he is different and that he can help your son. He can save your Edward and you if you so choose. This doctor is lost and lonely and looking for companionship. He will do it. As I am sure that he will."
I knew what I was asking. I was asking Edward to be condemned to an eternal life of the fiery flames of blood lust. I couldn't just sit here and watch him die but would Edward want this? Would his mother if she truly knew? This was a risk I was willing to take.
As long as God will let me, I will hold Edward as he writhes in the burning pit of hell that his body will go through. I've seen immortals go through transition. Their bodies cursed to become hard as stone, like a diamond they were damned for all eternity to be.
The immortal doctor came in to attend to Mrs. Masen first like the gentleman he was brought up to be. But true to form, she pushed him away to take care of her son.
"You are every bit as bad as he is Mrs. Masen. I don't think it matters who I attend to first."
The good doctor tried again to place a cold washcloth on Edward's mother's forehead. Instead she grabbed his wrist. She didn't flinch at hard stony coldness of his arm. Mrs. Masen trusted that I had some clue as to what I was talking about.
"You have to do something for me," She whispered.
"I'll do what I can, ma'am."
"I know what you are. I know that you are different from others."
The vampire tried to back away from the sick woman.
"Please," She begged in a barely there voice. "Please help my son. I know that you can. I know that you can give him a life beyond this one. One where he will never get sick like this again."
"So, this is the life that you see for your boy?" He assumed that she really knew what he was. The truth of the matter was that she didn't have the slightest clue as to what she was really asking from him. She may have changed her mind had she have known.
"Yes, I want you to save him, doctor."
He looked at her in an odd way before responding. "Then your son will never know death from this disease. But he shall know death every moment of his new life. Are you still willing that your son be spared?"
Mrs. Masen turned in my direction as if she had seen me. And I wasn't so sure she hadn't. "I have it on good authority that he will be spared and you are the one that can help him."
I nodded my head and offered her a reassuring smile. On one side of her I saw Mr. Masen, Edward's father, touching her hand. He waited for his beloved wife before crossing over himself.
The Holy light of Heaven was calling the two of them home. It was an act that I have gotten to witness time and time again and it was just as beautiful as the first time I had seen it.
Brilliant white light burst forth and the Masen's sans Edward were ready to walk into it. Before fully emerging into it, Mrs. Masen turned to me and uttered a 'thank you' and Mr. Masen tipped his fedora hat to me.
Not two seconds later was the good doctor wheeling Mrs. Masen's body to the morgue.
"They're dead." He proclaimed to the attendant.
"Just wheel the second body in, Dr. Cullen." The attendant barely looked at the doctor. "I have to run to the front office to grab some paperwork for these two."
Seeing that this was his chance to get away with Edward, Dr. Cullen took it. Edward's body would never be missed. With quick thinking, the immortal replaced Edward's corps with another. ID's would never be checked and within the hour two more of the dying and the sick will take the Masen's place in the beds that they once occupied.
Easily, I followed Dr. Cullen over the rooftops of the city towards his dwelling. I will stay with Edward until it's my appointed time to enter life as a human. This is all the time I will ever have with my beloved. Again, it saddened my heart. But this was my choice and now it can never be undone.
Before entering Dr. Cullen's place of residence, I caught sight of Legacy waiting out side.
"So, you heeded my advice?"
"I did what I could," I admitted a little reluctantly.
"I have orders before you proceed into that house, Bella." Legacy turned away so that I couldn't read his eyes.
"What orders?" I felt defeated as if now I was going to be taken away from this.
"Oh, Bella, don't look like that. You know if it were up to me that I'd let you stay with your human. But you're still an angel. You have a job to do until your given time."
"Can I at least see him through his transformation?" My non-existent heart just deflated. Right here, right now, I didn't want to go on.
"No," Legacy said defiantly. "In one hour your new charge will be born in a town in Rochester, New York. Rosalie Hale will be born and you need to be there when she arrives in this world."
I couldn't look at him. Why? Why was this happening? "Can't immortals have guardians too just like everyone else?"
"Oh, Bella, don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that immortality is a curse place by God Himself for the unjust murder of Able. They do not need guardians." Legacy looked up at the good Doctor's house. "You have a few minutes to say your goodbyes. He is going to turn the boy soon. You can stay for that and then I have to take you to your next job."
I turned my head to glance up at the very window where my young Edward lay. I was elated that I would get to say goodbye at least.
Without a second thought I was in the room. I watched the sweat pour off his face. His fever was getting worse and there was not much time left for him.
Dr. Cullen paced the room pinching the bridge of his nose as he did. I wish I could reassure him that all was going to be all right and that he could do this. If he was in control enough of his blood lust to working in a hospital night after night, then he could do this.
I got up close to the vampire and for a moment even, I an angel created by God, had to shutter in fear of this creature before me. I closed in just making my voice audible and hoping beyond hope he would believe it to be his very own conscience.
"You've been lonely too long, " I whispered softly. "The boy will be like a son to you in time. Companionship - some one to nurture and to teach. You can do this."
My encouragement seemed to have worked as the doctor approached Edward.
"I am so sorry," He apologized.
Dr. Cullen leaned forward as his lips grazed Edward's throat. The act almost looked too intimate but I couldn't tear myself away.
Edward mumbled at first and then his throaty murmurs gave way to blood curdling screams as the vampire's shape teeth sank into soft warm flesh. I noticed that the doctor did not drink the blood that flowed freely from my beloved's throat. He stayed true to his diet of animal blood. Dr. Cullen quickly sealed the wound with his tongue, locking in the life changing venom.
And as if he saw me, Dr. Cullen looked me in the eye. "I did it. I finally did it."
Edward continued to writhe and scream as the burn began to take over his body. The doctor pulled up a chair and took my love's hand and his. Being a witness himself to plenty of transformations over the years, he knew what to expect. He wasted no time in telling Edward what to expect and what he was to become.
I caught sight of Legacy standing in the corner of the room waiting for me.
"Bella, it's time," He said.
I didn't, no, I couldn't answer him. My proverbial heart was stuck in my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over on to my cheek. I walked around to the other side of the bed. Laying my hands on Edward's still beating heart, he seemed to calm for a moment. I leaned down and breathed in his warm vanilla scent that was doused with a touch of sunshine. I would never forget the way he smelled. I would know it anywhere. Lightly, I touched my lips to his forehead.
"I will never forget you, Edward Masen." I whispered before breathing in his scent again.
As soon as I lifted my hand from his heart he writhed in pain again. If I could only stay with him, then Edward wouldn't have to go through the change in torturous pain.
"Bella, just as humans are born into this world alone, immortals are to be born the same way."
"That just doesn't seem fair, Legacy. Why did He have to make it so painful?"
"It's a curse, just as labor is to a woman. It's a curse brought on by Eve and Cain brought this on. Curses are not meant to be a lovely and wondrous experience. They are meant to be painful…and speaking of painful, Rosalie Hale will be born in a matter of minutes to a woman who spent the last twenty hours in the retched pain of labor."
I looked back at Edward for the last time before racing through time and space to get to a hospital delivery room. Where one life was ending miles and miles away, one was being born. If I wasn't so heart broken I might have seen the irony and the beauty in that scenario. But I didn't.
