sparkles & politics

-for my life, who likes to screw me over

by making me like the wrong people

and do the wrong things

Imagine people thinking you're such an idiot; rather dumb, really; and such an amazing fiasco. And then they find out that you're really quite clever; certainly and controversially elegant; and graceful, to top it off.

Their expression when they find out is the icing on the cake.

\

"Hi, I'm Cat," you say to someone on your first day.

"That's a weird name, but I like it—," the boy starts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you interrupt, your hands flying up for dramatic effect.

"Um . . ."

"You're so mean to me!"

"I'm André, actually," he answers coolly. You don't think he's falling for your façade yet. You walk away and think, try harder next time. Caterina would not have been fooled, either.

\

"I'm Cat," you say to another girl.

"I don't care. Leave me alone," she answers coldly, though her coffee must still be warm. Either today is not her day, or she is a morbid loner.

"'Kay 'kay!" you answer. "We're going to be friends."

The girl doesn't answer, doesn't even give a name, but you think – while you leave in a tangle of red and scraps of paper – that she smiles a little bit. You're both actors, after all.

\

"Why do you have a puppet?" The question escapes your lips and you think, good. Cat wouldn't sensor her thoughts; Caterina would.

"He's not a puppet!" the boy with glasses says defensively. "His name is Rex." The puppet turns his head and waves.

"And who might the pretty lady be?"

"Your puppet freaks me out," you say, letting your lips part a tiny bit, and fear and uncertainty show in your eyes. "Why is he talking to me? How is sound coming from his mouth?"

He jumps at the chance to talk to a pretty girl, but you get bored and leave, sooner or later. His smile dims, because he knows that – though they might not mean it – he will always be alone. Caterina knows the feeling.

\

"Hey," he approaches her before she gets the chance to introduce herself. "I'm Beck. Who are you?"

"Cat." The answer is simple but he doesn't press.

"Pretty name. Your hair is quite . . . extravagant."

"And yours is luscious. Do you use special conditioner or something?"

"Um, sure," he says, like he's used to getting questions like this all the time. He is, and so are you, because of your looks. You will both forever be bound by beauty.

\

"You're different, did you know that?"

"What are you talking about?"

\

Their reactions are quite spectacular when you show them who you really are. In fact, you find that you rather like theirs the best, out of all.

\

"Hey, Little Red," he says, and he's not expecting your reaction to be quite different this time. He's used to what's that supposed to mean or I don't get the joke or I get it now that he's shocked.

"Hi, André," you say, quite normally. "Did you do the homework for math?"

"No," he says, a bit confused because Cat's never asked about homework before.

"Haha, I didn't either," you answer, letting Caterina show. Although Caterina is more uptight, more guarded than Cat ever was. You bring up some other topic, a normally forbidden one that Cat would never dare talk about. "Do you think I'll make the lead if I try for Wizard of Oz?"

He's not Beck, though, so he doesn't dare lie. "Why do you all of a sudden want to be lead?"

So you belch out a few notes that Cat could never achieve but Caterina certainly could, and he looks shocked. "Can I make it now?"

"Well, the playing field's certainly even."

\

"Hi, Jade!" you say, because you will slowly wean Cat away from her; she has gotten attached, but only a bit.

"What do you want?" she says, because she's studying her lines and who is messing with Jade West while she studies her lines? "I'm kind of busy here, Cat; if you didn't notice."

"I got the part!" The other girl drops her script. "That's why you don't have the lead!" It is a bit mean, the words, but your tone is calm and smooth.

"Oh, that's why I didn't get the part; no wonder. And to think, I assumed it was Vega." You would have expected sarcasm and a biting tongue, but instead you are greeted with a sense of a calm approval. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you, but good job, Cat."

You lean in so close that nobody will overhear or read your lips. "It's Caterina."

\

"Hey, Cat, I heard you got the lead," Robbie tells you in the hall. "That's great."

"You didn't think I'd get it, did you?" you say, unperturbed. "I can see it in your eyes."

"No, I did," he says, while his puppet interrupts him. "Ha ha, he had no faith in you, cupcake."

You cover Rex's ears as you tell Robbie, "You don't have to let them all – him – walk over you; it's okay to stand up for yourself, you know." You wink at him, and Robbie thinks this is the most serious he's ever seen Cat.

No one should be surprised when they find out Rex ended up in a dumpster, unsalvageable.

\

"Hi, Beck," you say as he nears you. "I don't like red velvet cupcakes anymore." You stare up at the sky.

"You should re-dye it, then," he says. You nod.

"What color?"

"Pink."

"Pink symbolizing love, self-balance, and peace?"

"Yeah."

\

You applaud yourself and think, a wonderful actor, really.