This is an RPG made by me and the person who made Killing Loneliness with me. Please give credit to him for the making of this as well. He is the player of 'L'
Chapter 1: Mother
"P-please take c-care of h-er..."
The pressure squeezing on his hand slackened and the last remaining life in the woman faded away.
Her crimson eyes opened as she blinked the dream away. It was the end of a nightmare she had. She always had nightmares when she slept. Her small body was tensed up and her breathing was heavy as sweat dripped down her face. The voice of the dying woman was repeating her last words over and over again in her mind. But it was fading to an even lower volume with every repeat it took. Eventually it faded from her memory and she could no longer remember it as crystal clear as it had been in her nightmare. Though she tried desperately to hold onto the pained voice because she knew what she had been dreaming. It was her mother dying mere minutes after giving birth to her. It was not the first time she had this dream but at least the fifth or sixth time it had haunted her. A small whine escaped her throat as she slowly lifted her self up. Her short, dark hair was in a mess and she wondered for how long exactly had she been out. She didn't sleep that often for various reasons.
Rubbing her eyes a small yawn came from the toddler. She was three years old and it was the year of 2008. It hadn't been all too long since she had turned three. 2009 was only a month away as it was December now. Snow had fallen and it was pretty cold outside.
"Papa..." was the first word out of her mouth as she climbed out of the bed. Stumbling, she headed toward the door. They were in a huge building that her father told her was a 'skyscraper.' It was hard at first to get around and she could still get lost at times, but she knew where she was going right now. Hisaye was going to the main room where she knew her papa was probably working. On the Kira case, of course. Another yawn was passed as she stumbled out of the door and into the long, dark hallway. She didn't remember falling asleep in the bed, someone must've carried her there. It was probably her Uncle Matsu...whom she spent a lot of time with. He was basically her babysitter and it gave him some use around the place. Hisaye loved him very much but not as much as she loved her father. She basically would cling to him if she were that type of child. But she wasn't. That didn't mean she liked to be apart from him, though.
Hisaye suffered from a separation anxiety and would often sulk when her father was not near her. She absolutely hated being apart from him. But she accepted the fact there were those times when she had to be away. That didn't stop her paranoia from going crazy. She would often find herself thinking if he was going to come back. Most of the time it was a fear that someone would kill him but sometimes she feared he'd run away from her. But she knew better, Hisaye knew very much better. At least she thought she did. She assumed, though figured her assumption was 99.9 accurate, that her father loved her and would never leave her. Hisaye held faith in him because she did love him with all her heart. Sometimes she wondered if her mother had felt the same way. Had loved him as much as she did.
Still in blue pajamas that had apples on them, Hisaye stumbled into the main room. She still felt sleep calling to her but refused to give into its evil temptation. Sleep only brought nightmares and the pained voice back. She wanted the pained voice, but she wish the pain was not in it. She wanted what was underneath the pain, the voice of her mother. That sweet, melodic voice which sounded like it tasted like sugar. Her father loved sweets, so maybe that was one of the reasons he loved her. Because her voice was very sweet...
"Papa?" This time her voice rose because she was actually looking for a reply. Her crimson eyes scanned the main room which had two couches, a glass table, and then the computers that were everywhere. Stairs were on either side of the computer wall and she had come down one of the two. "Papa? Where are you?"
How she longed for a response, to hear her father's monotone voice. Despite it being emotionless she loved to hear it. She felt warm when she heard it, safe. Hisaye wanted to feel secure because she was shaken from her nightmares. Hopefully she could hold off sleep for about a week now so she could escape from them till then. She often stayed awake until she collapsed because of her nightmares. Also because she had trouble sleeping. An 'insomniac' she had learned it was called. She was one of those like her father, and held dark bags under her eyes like he did. Actually, many say Hisaye looked just like her father. But her personality, which was not yet fully developed, resembled her mother's. She wondered if that was true, Hisaye tried to prod things out of her father about her mother. But she had yet to be fully successful on getting the whole story. She had only bits and pieces of information on her mother. But she was confident to get it all. And she would get it all.
Exhaustion..
For many months now that's all he felt. The case was starting to take it's toll on this detective, his sleep count reaching nearly zero in the past two months. He would spin in his chair several times anxiously, calculating the results of his many tests over and over again. So far everything seemed to elude his grasp, as much as he thought he was starting to make some sort of advancement. This "Kira" was definitely as skilled as he was in this game of cat and mouse, and he was definitely making that known. Anger built up inside L as he thought about losing to this man, there was no way he could let this happen, his pride was at stake. "Please tell me you have something, Soichiro." he said slowly as he turned to face the older man. Soichiro would shake his head slowly, disheartened by the fact that they had once again come across another cold trail. "Then.. you all may leave for the night." he said slowly as he turned back towards the computer. "There is no reason for you to stay tonight, rest up and we'll try again.." he said as he went about stacking his sugar cubes in his normal OCD fashion.
Everyone slowly started to shuffle out of the room towards the Elevator, only one stopping for a moment. "Hisaye is in bed, L." said Matsuda as he turned slowly and headed out himself. That was one relief to him at least; he had help raising the child that he should have been loving with Good by his side. Being the leader of the Kira investigation and trying to raise a small girl was perhaps the most challenging thing he had ever undergone. Catching high level criminals was easy compared to raising a little girl, or in his perspective it was anyway. Of course he loved her with all his heart, wanting nothing but the best for her, yet at the same time he wished he was more of a father then he really was. His head would slump down slowly as he stared at the floor, his sugar cube dropping to the floor. What should I do..? Tell me Good.. he thought as his sugary tea sat cold on the desk next to him.
"Papa..?" the small voice of Hisaye flooded the room, being the only sound other then the gentle hum of the computers. Slowly he would raise his head, turning his chair gently in the direction of the small girl in the apple pajamas. She was exactly like him, or so many people said when it came to her appearance. The hair… the bags under her eyes. If things kept up as they were, he would be raising mini L. That was the joke among the group anyway, L never really found much humor in it. As much as he wanted it, he wished for her to never be like him. This was perhaps one of the biggest fears he held within himself. He could not stand the thought of her being socially inept, and wasting her life away on these cases. "Hisaye.. You're supposed to be in bed." he said in his slow mono tone voice, obviously not too amused by her being awake. At the same time there was this relief that overwhelmed him by seeing her, she always made him feel relaxed.. just like her mother always had.
"Come here, Hisaye.." he said slowly as he stood up. With his arms open slightly, he would invite her to come over. Just as much as she needed the comforting, he needed it as well. For the same reason she never slept, he did not either. Good's death haunted him while he slept, as well as the laughing masked face of the man known as Kira. If only he could prove in someway that Light was Kira, he would be able to end some of this nightmare and have peace with his child, and within this country. Noting that she seemed very exhausted, he would instead go over and scoop her up into his arms. Gently he would stroke her hair as he turned to face one of the computer screens. "Can't sleep?"
He was exactly where she would guess him to be. A smile crept across her face though his voice did not sound amused. Yes, she was supposed to be asleep. But she had woken up and there wasn't anything he could do about it. Those thoughts made her think about how Light sometimes muttered she was a 'demon child' when only she could hear him. Maybe that was true, maybe she was a demon child? But she didn't have any problems with that; she liked being a handful at times. But at other times she would give mercy to her father and be a good girl. Actually that was a lot of times because she understood her papa was very busy. Her smile only grew wider as he stood up and his arms slowly outstretched toward her. He was inviting her over but a yawn stopped her from running over into his arms. Exhaustion was beating down on her, telling her she should've slept longer. But she refused to fall asleep again for a long time. Though, she must admit, that she had forgotten how comfortable her pajamas were.
"Papa," she said, her voice full of her love for him. There was no real reason for saying it except for the fact she wanted to. She just wanted to say what she knew him by because she loved him. Now if only her mother were here to be with them. Her birthday had been 9 days ago and it seemed that day was sort of quiet. Quieter then usual from her father.
Her arms outstretched and her tiny hands reached for L as he walked over to her. She wanted to be picked up by him and held. It made her spirits skyrocket and she laughed as he picked her up. Her small hands gripped onto his shirt and she curled up close to him. Hisaye was much smaller then toddlers her age. She had been born 2 months late on October 10th of 2005 and had been a very small baby. She had been late because of complications that had slowed up her development and some other problems. The problems that had ended up killing her mother. Hisaye did not know it, but her mother had gone through a lot of pain during her pregnancy. Throwing up blood and constant, sharp pains along with the natural morning sickness and when Hisaye had gotten big enough to start kicking and stretching. It all had piled down on the woman, who had seemed to grow paler with each passing day and weaker as well. The stress and pain that had all ended up killing her in the end...all for Hisaye. All for her and L's little baby girl that had been worried over for 11 months. Good, this Hisaye knew, had been a kind person who was willing to sacrifice herself for someone she loved. And she had loved Hisaye...who had not even been born and who she only met for a few mere minutes before passing.
His fingers ran through her dark hair and she enjoyed the feeling, smiling up at him. But his question made a soft frown come to her face. Hisaye hid her face in his white shirt and thought back as best she could to the nightmare.
"No..." she replied, "papa, I had a nightmare."
Her hand gripped tighter to his shirt, "about mommy..."
She didn't like to mention her mother much around him unless she wanted to know a story about her. Hisaye knew it caused L pain to think about her dead mother. But right now she was scared. Scared of the nightmare that had decided to reap upon her soul. She wished it gone but it came back. Even the memories would soon start to burn into her skull and then she feared it would never leave.
"Again..." she added, since it was about the fifth or sixth time she had a nightmare about her mother. "Papa..." she looked up at him, "I'm scared. What is mommy is unhappy?"
She bit her bottom lip and it quivered a bit. What was she unhappy with? Her papa? Herself? Her? Hisaye was scared to know...
A Reminder.
She was a constant reminder of what he had lost, the woman he had loved so much was left behind in such a tiny form. Most could not bare to have something like this near them, reminding them daily what they had lost, that it had been the cause of her death. However, L held no malice towards his little girl, how could he? Physically she was so much like him in every way, be it a good thing or a bad thing he was proud that she was at least reflecting some of his traits, Good's had dominated her personality. A gentle voice spoke out the words "Papa" warming him on the inside to hear, even if he was not exactly able to truly show it on the outside. His right hand would stroke her cheek softly, using the backside of his hand he would offer his normal eerie smile. To her however, it would most likely be normal since she was used to being around him, the others were often disturbed by it.
Destroy it..
A voice echoed within his head, perhaps from the lack of sleep he was starting to hear things. She alone is responsible.. the voice whispered once more before fading out of his mind. Perhaps influenced too much by the Kira case, L would shake his head to try and get a better grip on his own thoughts. What kind of monster could even suggest harming such a small innocent creature? Perhaps he did harbor some kind of hate somewhere on the inside, however he did not let that over power the greater feeling of love he held for his child. Wearily he would look around before he moved over towards the sofa, placing Hisaye down upon it and hoping up to sit next to her in the same weird manner in which he always sat. "No, I had a Nightmare about mommy.." she said slowly as L placed his thumb against his teeth staring at her pensively. This was not the first time she had done this, nor did he assume that it would be the last time she had this nightmare. In all honesty, he had the same type of nightmare when he managed to fall asleep as well, but being him, he was able to block it out better.
Of course she's unhappy, murderer..
The voice once more shot through his head, this time slightly louder then before. His eyes would slide out of focus for a moment as he zoned out, facing his daughter, he could hear nothing from the outside world. He wanted to say that everything was alright, that everything would be fine.. but in truth he had no idea if he was able to say this and mean it. Slowly, Hisaye's face would slide back into his sight as he opened his mouth to speak, slowly he would form his words together. "Your mother.. is in a better place. You have these dreams because you have an over active imagination, there is nothing to worry about." he said slowly as he looked up towards the ceiling. "If mommy was ever in trouble.. I'd go save her somehow.." he said with a thoughtful tone as he reached over to the table, grabbing an apple out of the center dish. Extending it forth, he would press it into her tiny hands. "This apple is a special apple. If you eat it, you will gain happy dreams just like mommy wants you to have, it'll chase away the bad." he said slowly as he created a warm lie that would help comfort her. "Everything will be alright.."
Her whole body was filled with warmth and love as his hand stroked her cheek. Her crimson eyes held a childish, innocent sparkle in them as she curled up close to him. If she were that type of ever so loving person she would've given him a kiss. But in truth Hisaye absolutely hated affection. She didn't like to be touched. She would tolerate it for those she loved, L being one of those people. It was a trait that most likely came from him that she held, and would always hold. It was definitely not a trait that had come from her mother. Her mother had loved affection, once she had found out what it was. Hisaye just wasn't fond of it from the start but that didn't mean anything much. She would hug her father, she would hug her Uncle Matsu, and it wouldn't make a difference how much she disliked affection. She still loved them both. She would accept it from them any time they gave it to her.
"Papa, I love you..." it was a murmur but it had still escaped her lips. Every word was sincere because she did love her father. He meant the entire world to her and she would do anything for him. Anything.
Being sat on the couch she realized he seemed to be dazing in and out of his thoughts. Her head tilted the side in a very cute fashion. What was on his mind? It was something that was bothering her, that she knew for sure.
"Papa, what'cha thinking about?" She asked, his thumb going to his mouth was a dead giveaway. She knew he always did that when he was thinking. Hisaye repositioned herself to mirror his way of sitting, finding it most comfortable. He had already tried many time to get her to sit normally, but it wasn't going to happen. Hisaye wanted to sit how he sat not like how everyone else sat. That was boring and uncomfortable, this way was better. It would always be better.
He was completely zoned out and it made Hisaye's eyes widen slightly.
"Papa?" She was concerned for him, wondering what was wrong. She moved her small body and scooted closer to him. Hisaye leaned against him a bit and it seemed he came back to reality. "Papa?"
She listened intently to his explanation and a frown spread across her face. That wasn't true, it couldn't be! It couldn't just be her imagination! There had to be something wrong, something! Hisaye closed her eyes and looked straight ahead, nothing to worry about...? He was wrong. But a small smile did come across her lips when he said he'd save her somehow. That was comforting to her. Papa did love mommy very much...though it seemed Light didn't think so. He never had seemed to think so, the way she heard him talk when he and she were alone in conversation. There also always seemed to be malice in his voice toward she and L...but she did not understand. Hisaye knew but not completely of how the 'Kira' case worked.
An apple was placed in her small hands and her eyes opened. Hisaye looked back at him and took the apple, listening to his far-fetched lie. He was trying to comfort her and try to get her to fall asleep again. Hisaye loved apples, they were her favorite food. So she took a bite of it and gave a small giggle. Shaking her head, she knew that most little kids would believe it. But she knew better then most kids her age. But she would humor him and slowly nibble on the apple.
"Papa..." she spoke after a few moments, leaning fully against him. "When can we go visit mommy...? Maybe she's lonely..." She blinked a few times, and then her eyes closed as a sudden rush of exhaustion took her. "I wish...I wish I knew her like you did, papa...I miss her..."
And with a yawn the girl was gone, the apple still gripped tightly in her small hands.
