High over our heads, the tower stood at the crest of the mountain peak, black against the ashy winter sky and solitary in the cold wind. White mist cloaked the snow-capped mountains, rolling in thick clouds, and the naked tree branches around us quivered. An eerie moan wafted through the woods.

I tightened my scarf, trying to cover my ears, but the tips were numb, and my hands were freezing, even with my gloves in place. "It must be the coldest day of the year," I murmured, crunching through the snow. It wasn't deep. Rather, a stiff layer of ice seemed to coat the ground, no more than six inches thick, but still, it made walking somewhat difficult.

Gojyo shuddered. He was dressed half as warmly as I and had looked interminably annoyed since the very beginning. "Why the hell didn't we bring Jeep?"

"I keep telling you, the terrain wouldn't allow it. Look around." I gestured to the charcoal trunks filling my view. The forest grew dense here—much denser than around our home—the spindly branches criss-crossing to form natural cages, and even at midday it looked as dark as dusk, the sun appearing only as a pale orb, steeped in thick gray.

"I think he coulda done it," Gojyo grumbled.

"This part, perhaps," I allowed, and then pointed to the tower on the mountain. "But if you have some idea as to how we could get him up there, I'd love to hear it."

"I guess we'd have to climb no matter what," he snapped, "but we've been walking all day, and he could have saved us some time."

"It's only been a few hours. In any case, there are other reasons I didn't want to bring Jeep with us."

Puffing on his cigarette, Gojyo looked up at the tower, a cloud of breath and smoke gathering in front of him as he asked, "You really think this is where he came from?"

"Perhaps. Sanzo seems to think so."

"Yeah, but Jeep was injured. This is a long ways from our house."

"He didn't necessarily make the entire journey by himself."

"Yeah, but—"

"I'm tired of hearing yeah but," I interrupted. After tolerating his complaints all day, I was in no mood to argue with him. "I know as little about where Jeep came from as you do. All I know is Sanzo asked us to investigate, and bringing Jeep wasn't part of the equation; that's all that matters."

"Fine," he snorted defiantly. "But why is Sanzo making us do this anyway?"

"Don't you ever listen to him?" I demanded. "He said there have been strange activities in this region lately and thought this place may have something to do with it."

"Like what?"

I thought back on what Sanzo had said, but there hadn't been anything too definitive about it. "Random acts of violence. People attacking each other for no discernable reason. I wish you'd pay attention next time, Gojyo, it gets tedious reiterating everything Sanzo already told us."

Gojyo stomped through a snow drift. "Excuse me for not being enthralled by every word that drops from Master Sanzo's mouth."

"Yes, yes, I know. You assume that as long as I know what's going on you don't need to."

"Pretty much."

"Well, some day you may not have the luxury of having me with you."

Gojyo shot back, "I wouldn't do shit for Sanzo if you weren't going with me. You know that."

"Then do you mean to say you participate in these infernal errands for my benefit, not his?"

"Damn straight. Sanzo sits in his cozy, little temple, drinking hot tea and cuddling with Goku—he doesn't need me to go with you—you'd fucking die without me."

I couldn't help smiling. "A touch less complaining would be nice though."

"That was never part of the deal. I'll bitch if I feel like it."

"Very well," I sighed. "I suppose as long as you're here solely to keep me from dying I'll just have to accept the constant whining."

"That's the price you pay, Sunshine."

Not long after that, we had to cross a wide river. Fortunately, the ice was solid in most places, and I was able to lead us across safely, though it was a painstakingly slow process, and I couldn't help remarking, with some smugness, "We wouldn't have been able to drive Jeep across this ice."

Gojyo only muttered that we still could have brought him.

Beyond the river, the trees thinned out, and the foothills led us upward in a gentle slope. Fortunately, the peak wasn't too tall, nor was it very difficult to climb. It involved much more hiking than outright climbing, and the going was relatively easy, but a bitter wind whipped at our faces, and the snow made the trail we followed somewhat treacherous. I pulled up my hood and wrapped my scarf around my mouth, and Gojyo pulled his beanie cap down to completely cover his ears.

"Why are we doing this in the middle of goddamn winter? This would actually be a nice hike if it were spring or fall."

"I don't think I've ever heard you use the phrase nice hike before."

"It's true though. Sanzo could have asked us to do this a few weeks ago and it would have been a completely different story."

"Well, yes, I suppose you're right."

"So why didn't he?"

"I have no idea." I brushed a layer of snow off a boulder and sat down, swinging the backpack off my shoulders to produce a bag of trail mix and some jerky. "I suspect it wasn't a problem until recently." I offered him the food, and he sat down with me. The rock was smallish, so we sat back to back to keep out of the wet snow, and I was grateful for the slight warmth sitting close together provided. After a day of walking in the inclement weather, we were wet, tired, and annoyed, so we ate quietly, but when the break was over I felt rejuvenated and was ready to finish the task at hand.

"We should arrive in just over an hour, I believe," I told him, packing up the food.

Gojyo rubbed his bare hands together, squinting through the treetops to try to get a glimpse of the lab, but a veil of thick fog had fallen over the tower. "Since I wasn't paying attention to Sanzo…tell me again, what's the deal with this place?"

"It's a laboratory." I shrugged. "The rest is self-explanatory."

He looked at me. "Yeah, maybe for you, college grad. They do creepy science shit there, that's all I know. What kind of creepy science shit?"

"I'm not sure." I peered up at the vague outline of the tower as well. "Sanzo knows very little about it, and what information he does have comes from years of living in this region and hearing various rumors from various sources. He seems to believe this might be where Jeep originated from, and in that case, this may be a facility where they combine human science with youkai magic."

Gojyo shifted uncomfortably. "So…they experiment on people?"

"I have no idea," I answered solemnly. "For whatever reason, Sanzo seems to think the scientists up there have something to do with the sudden rise in violent crimes around here, so I suppose it's possible that's what they do. I really won't know until we have a look around."

Together, we continued hiking, and Gojyo was silent a long while. We had almost reached the top before he asked, "How're we gonna get in? I mean, what makes you think they'll be happy to let us snoop around their secret lab?"

"Considering how secluded the locale is, I suppose they aren't accustomed to visitors," I allowed. "But scientists aren't fighters, usually, and our mission pertains more to reconnaissance than violence. I suppose I had hoped they might just show us around if I asked politely."

I expected him to scoff at that, but he didn't say anything more until we'd reached the top of the peak, and the walls of the tower lay directly ahead of us.

The wind had picked up on top of the cliff, and snow had begun to fall, combining to create a wall of chilling air. Flecks of ice stung my face, and I had to squint to see where I was going as we marched toward the tower and took cover against its walls. It was an odd combination of steel and rock, as though it may have been an ancient structure, renovated to suit the scientists' purposes, and it was cased in ice, much like everything around us. Several smaller structures lay in ruin around it, but the tower still stood some ten stories or so, and it was blank, save a few tiny windows near the top. One side of it had gotten dangerously close to the edge of the cliff as the rocks had eroded away over the years.

We huddled together a few minutes to catch our breath, and Gojyo spoke up again, a little more loudly, to be heard over the howling wind. "I think I need to tell you something, Hakkai."

"Is it important?" I asked distractedly, surveying the area for any sign of lookouts. A hundred yards from us, a stone archway reinforced by metal led the way to a courtyard, and I sidled in that direction.

"I don't know…"

I gave him a semi-annoyed look over my shoulder. "What do you mean you don't know? Does it pertain to the mission?"

He nodded.

"Then it's likely important." I stopped again to face him. "What is it?"

Gojyo's expression had turned somewhat nervous, and his cheeks and nose were pink from the cold. He eyed the tower with obvious mistrust. "Remember a couple months ago, when those guys came to our house and attacked me, and I told you I didn't know what they wanted?"

"How could I forget? You killed two of them and maimed the third so badly he likely died on his way home."

"Right. So I lied to you." He popped his knuckles. "They did say what they wanted."

"I assumed as much. I can generally tell when you're lying," I couldn't help sounding impatient. "I also assumed they wanted Jeep, seeing how the two of you got along much better ever after that day."

Gojyo nodded, still scanning the tower thoughtfully. "That isn't all though. They were pretty thrilled with me."

"I'm sure they were if they're enamored by the idea of the combination of human science and youkai magic. I already thought of that."

He finally met my gaze again. "You did?"

"Well, of course."

"And you still think they'll be willing to give us a tour of their place if I'm along?"

"I think it'll give them all the more incentive to let us in," I told him nonchalantly.

Immediately, his expression darkened. "Dude, don't even think about using me for bait, or a distraction, or whatever other fucked up thing you thought of."

It was rather like a slap in the face, and I argued immediately, "Is that what you think of me? That I'd use you like that without even discussing it with you first? I had thought you knew me better."

He still glared. "Maybe it'll work best if I don't know about it ahead of time."

"Don't be ridiculous. Honestly, I'm hurt you'd expect me to use you in such a manner."

"Yeah, but—"

I cut in brusquely, "No more yeah buts," and then I turned away, continuing to march through the snow, which was knee-deep here. "Let's get this underway so we can start heading home as soon as possible."

Grumbling, Gojyo followed me around to the arch, and we stepped into the courtyard, where we were shielded immediately from the violent wind. Around us, everything was pristine white and clear aside from a few statues which had apparently been knocked down, and a set of steps leading to a large pair of double doors. I hurried to them, eager to get in out of the cold, and hopeful that the tower's interior would be heated. I seized one of the giant knockers and banged the iron ring against the wood, and the pounding echoed through the courtyard.

Then, Gojyo and I stood shoulder to shoulder, shifting back and forth, stamping our feet and adjusting our clothing. It was twice as cold on top of the mountain as it had been in the forest.

"What's the plan?" Gojyo hissed.

"I already told you. We're just going to ask if we can come inside."

"And if they want to add me to their collection of creepy science shit? What then?"

I knocked again, a bit louder than before. "I don't know, Gojyo, they're scientists. Hopefully you're capable enough to keep from being captured by flabby, human scientists."

"The last time I dealt with scientists, they tried to shoot me, and taze me, and drug me."

"They failed," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but—"

I gave a loud sigh.

"But there were only three of them."

I had known from the start that coming here could potentially put Gojyo in danger. I'd even brought it up with Sanzo. Still, we'd both decided it shouldn't be a problem, and I truly hadn't thought much about it since then.

"You and I have taken out entire armies of men—both human and youkai—over the last three years. I fail to see why you're unnerved by a group of tottering, old men."

"Okay, so let's say nothing happens today. What's to keep them from coming after me later? Or sending someone after me? Or coming up with some crazy-ass scheme to catch me?"

I pounded on the door once more, and then turned to face my roommate. "Are you genuinely worried about this? Do you want me to be worried also?"

He scowled, looking somewhat sheepish. "No. I'm not worried I just want to know what the plan is."

"We're going to go in and take a look around and leave, if they let us in at all. If they don't we'll find some means to sneak in, take a look around, and leave. If they're interested in keeping you as a subject, they'll be welcome to try, but I sincerely doubt they'll be successful, considering you're more than capable of preventing that, and even if you weren't, I am. So stop worrying."

"For the last time, I'm not worrying, I'm just saying!" He threw his cigarette down and looked up at the door. "God damn what is taking them so long?"

Shaking my head, I reached for the door handle. "I have no idea, but I'm not standing out here in the cold bickering with you any longer." With that, I threw the door open, and stepped through, with Gojyo scrambling after me.

The interior of the lab was much different than the exterior. The doors led immediately into a fairly nondescript foyer with the original stone still intact, but beyond it ran a single hallway, straight and narrow, made completely of steel. The place had been equipped with electricity, obviously, and lights were mounted on the metal ceiling, but the room remained dark, empty, and cold.

Gojyo and I stood staring into the hall, but I didn't see as much as a speck of light in the distance, and outside the wind whipped and screamed, battering against the tower walls.

"Ummm… So where is everybody?" Gojyo demanded.

His voice echoed in the giant foyer, startling me, and I took a second to answer. "It appears no one's home."

"They're out in the storm somewhere?"

Frowning, I continued to peer into the shadows, still expecting someone to arrive at any given moment, but nothing moved. No matter how hard I listened, I heard no traces of voices.

"In any case, that makes it easier to investigate." I stepped forward. "Come on. Chances are we'll find someone eventually."

For the next two hours, we scoured the tower from top to bottom. It was a strange place, to say the least. The upper part of the building hadn't been used in a long time, as far as I could tell, the upstairs chambers left mostly empty, but we did find living quarters on the second floor, furnished with comfortable sofas and beds, and decorated with individual touches, though they were also highly Spartan, as though the men who'd been living here hadn't brought much with them. The kitchen we found was still stocked with food, but most of the items in the fridge had gone bad, a sure sign that the scientists had been gone a long while.

As we move down to the basement level, I began to get a bad feeling.

The basement looked much newer than the rest of the building, much more modern, and the rooms we searched housed varying types of scientific equipment, operating tables, cages, chemicals, machines, and shelves stuffed with books and journals.

In one such room, we stumbled across something highly unpleasant.

As soon as I opened the door, I smelled it, the pungent, familiar reek of rotting flesh, flooding the room and permeating everything. The odor hit us like a wave, and we both stumbled back, gagging. I held my scarf over my nose and mouth and stared hard into the darkened room, where I could just make out a heavy table, laden with notes and books. There appeared to be little else there, and it was empty. Cautiously, I entered, and looked around with horror and disbelief.

A handful of dismembered bodies lay on the floor, rotting, and the place was doused in old blood—it splashed the walls like paint, and stained the papers on the desk. Chairs had been toppled, and the bookshelf on the far wall had been knocked over. Books were scattered everywhere.

"Son of a bitch," Gojyo gasped, voice muffled behind the sleeve of his coat. "What happened here?"

I crouched down by one of the bodies, looking intently at the ragged wounds torn across the chest and abdomen and the pain-filled, terrified expression still frozen on the face. One of the arms had been torn off, and it looked as if something had fed on the carcass. I moved on, examining several of the others as well, but they all looked the same. The white flesh was rotting slowly in the cold, and each body appeared to have been torn into by a wild animal.

"Judging by the level of decomposition," I murmured, half holding my breath so I wouldn't breathe the noxious scent of rotting flesh, "they've been dead about a week."

"Wh-who killed them?" Gojyo wondered, gagging.

I surveyed the signs of struggle again, noting the smashed furniture and the blood splashes. It had apparently been quite a violent murder. I saw no sign of a weapon, but I supposed that meant the killer had taken it with him. Then again, it didn't explain why it looked like the scientists had been eaten alive.

"It's possible they were experimenting on an animal and it got out of their control."

"Wouldn't an animal have been trapped in here? Animals don't open doors."

I tilted my head, thoughtfully, and examined the door next. I saw no sign of claw or teeth marks on it, just more dried blood. "That's an excellent point, as a matter of fact. Only a person or an ape would have the aptitude to open such a door without smashing it. An ape likely wouldn't take the time to figure that out. Unless someone was here to let it out, it would have been trapped within this room…and if someone did let it out, they wouldn't have shut the door behind them again."

"It's a fuckin' mystery," Gojyo grumbled, still holding his sleeve against his face. "Can we get outta here? The smell…"

"Don't you see though? A being with human-like intelligence must have done this. A being with human-like intelligence and animal-like savagery."

Gojyo glanced around the room again. "What… You mean, like a youkai?"

I turned to stare at him, and he stared back at me. "Well…yes. I suppose that makes the most sense, but…" I studied the body lying at my feet. "Even youkai don't normally do something like this."

"Well, who cares? There's nothing here to investigate, so let's go home."

I gestured to the carnage around us. "You call this nothing to investigate? Gojyo, this must be what Sanzo sent us here for—it's exactly what he was talking about. Sudden and violent crimes. If youkai did this…there are some very violent people not very far away from the temple and from our home."

"Whatever, man, all I know is I can't breathe in here." He put a cigarette in his mouth and stepped out, gagging.

With a sigh, I walked to the table in the middle of the room, thinking the papers there might give me some sort of clue as to what the scientists had been working on, and how it may have gone awry. A lamp sat there that still worked, so I clicked it on and perused the stacks of notes, reading them absently.

I was so distracted by the hideous scene I'd stumbled into, and the horrible possibility behind who had done it, it took me several moments to realize I was reading notes about physics.

It wasn't much help, but I read on anyway, still thinking I might uncover some clue to the mystery.

I turned the page, finding a design for a machine, and detailed building instructions scratched into the paper in miniscule, somewhat sloppy handwriting. I could hardly believe what I read there.

"Gojyo," I called, "look at this!"

He simply hung his head around the corner. "What?"

"These notes! You won't believe it…" My heart had all but stopped, and I was even shaking a little. "They're building plans for a time machine!"

A long pause followed, so long I turned to see if he'd left.

Gojyo stared back at me with a skeptical face. "Hakkai," he said flatly. "Come out of there, buddy. That smell's making you hallucinate."

"Very funny, but I'm being serious. Come and see for yourself."

"Hakkai, listen to yourself. Time machine? Seriously." And he turned away.

I read the papers again, just to be sure I'd read them correctly, but there was no mistaking it. The physicist jargon was familiar enough to me, having gotten a degree in physics myself, and the time travel terms were also something I'd heard before in the various theories and dreams of my peers and professors. I said out loud, "These scientists were able to engineer a dragon that can transform into a Jeep. I don't see why a time machine is out of the question."

Gojyo looked in again, retching at the smell. "Hakkai. Just come out of there."

I couldn't help rolling my eyes, and then I folded up the notes and stuffed them down into my jacket where they'd stay dry even in the snow, and we made our way out of the tower and back down the mountain, my head buzzing with the possibilities.

In the morning, I got up and made my breakfast and sat down to eat, but I took my time and laid out the physicists notes on the table. They were bloodstained, of course, and some of the words had even been blotted out by dusky reddish-brown, but they were still perfectly readable, and I spent several hours going over them, and then re-reading them, and then reflecting on their credibility, and each time I read them I felt a little surer than before that the physicist who'd written these notes had indeed been correct. It had merely been his misfortune that he'd not lived long enough to complete the plans himself.

Jeep nudged at my hand, so I got up to feed him, and then I returned to my studies.

When Gojyo got up, I was still sitting there. He sat down heavily. "You took those?"

"Of course I took them," I returned simply, sipping my tea. "They're plans for a time machine which, as best I can tell, would actually work, and the man who designed them is dead now. It would be absurd not to salvage them."

"It sounds insane to me, Hakkai." He glanced around the kitchen. "What's to eat anyway?"

"I'm sorry?" I barely looked up. "What?"

"I said what's to eat? You didn't make lunch yet?"

"No." I continued reading. "I've been preoccupied."

He sounded vaguely frustrated. "With those dusty, old notes? Dude, what the hell?"

I sighed and glared up at him. "Don't be such a child, Gojyo. Is it absolutely out of the question for you to feed yourself for once?"

"Guess not." He rocked back in his chair, looking sheepish, and then admitted in an apologetic voice, "I just got used to you doing it…"

That was true, I realized, and since it had been hours since I'd eaten, I quietly got up and set to making lunch, but I dwelled on the notes all the while, and as soon as I'd finished eating, I returned to them.

For the next few days, I couldn't tear myself away from the notes, and I spent every waking moment studying them and pondering them.

Gojyo complained about it a great deal, but it didn't matter. When I tried to explain to him the beauty of the physicist's plans, and their simplicity, when I attempted to describe the idea to him, even in the most childish terms, he was unable to follow, and though I was disappointed by the fact that I couldn't share my excitement with anyone, I continued to study the notes, adding to them as ideas occurred to me.

The possibilities seemed endless. It was only a matter of collecting the right materials.

Gojyo reminded me about the mission we'd been on, but I'd all but forgotten it.

"Sanzo sent us to find something out, right?" he demanded, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"He always does." I was scribbling away at the time and only half-understood what he'd said.

"So what was it?"

"What was what?"

"What did he want us to figure out?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand." I sucked on my pen, re-reading what I'd just jotted down.

"On the mountain, dammit. The lab? Where you got your fuckin' time machine plans?"

"Oh. That. I'm not sure." I resumed my writing.

"Well." He yanked the pen from my hand, and I scowled at him. "Don't you think we need to figure it out?"

"We already learned everything we could by going up there."

I made a grab for the pen, but he held it out of my reach. "Yeah, except we didn't learn anything at all."

"There's no help for that. There was little evidence to go off of."

Gojyo looked hard at me and then spoke firmly, "Hakkai, come on, man. Those people were murdered. Probably by youkai, right? You said yourself, they could be knocking around in our neighborhood now."

"Maybe so, but it doesn't matter anymore."

He almost fell of the couch, and his jaw dropped. "Doesn't matter? What do you mean it doesn't matter? You saw what they did—how can you say it doesn't matter?"

I snatched the pen away from him while he was shocked, and went back to my notes. "It just doesn't now."

Gojyo sat next to me, quietly, for several minutes before going on. "All right, dude, this has gone on long enough, don't you think? Those crazy notes are all you ever think about."

"Nonsense." I flipped back several pages, checking a reference.

"Yes, they are. You haven't cleaned or tidied, you keep calling in sick at work, you barely even cook. You're totally obsessed with those notes."

I hesitated to consider what he was saying, and I glanced around the house, noticing that it did look a touch disorderly today. I turned to him at last, "Yes, but don't you understand? This is revolutionary—it could change the very world—some genius came up with a time machine, Gojyo. Can you really not comprehend the impact that could have? It's possibly the most important invention every spawned by man, of course it's absorbing a great deal of my time."

"So what? What are you going to do? Read them over and over forever? It's not like you can build a time machine, so you might as well sell them somewhere and forget it."

"Sell them?" I demanded, half incredulous, half outraged. "Sell them to whom?"

"I don't know, but they're not doing anyone any good sitting here in our house, especially not you and me." He got up after that, and left the house, and I realized the sun was beginning to set, and I'd spent yet another day studying the notes.

For a while, I sat back and pondered what Gojyo had said, but why should it be true? Surely the physicist's notes didn't die with him. As long as there were other capable men alive, why shouldn't his dream be realized?

And who's to say the notes weren't doing me any good?

For the first time since I found the paperwork in that bloody room, the idea struck me. I could be the one to continue this important work. I certainly had the knowledge and intellect. I could build the machine the dead physicist had envisioned. I could be the one to go back in time.

And then another idea came to me, like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head.

Shaking, I got up and walked, slowly, to the window to stare out at the barren and white world of winter beyond, the black trees and the smooth snow, the slate gray sky, and the empty woods, and I pictured a different day, far, far behind me, a day when Kanan and I had sat under a willow together on the school campus and done our respective homework, while holding a reasonable conversation in between. It had been a day of glorious spring, of warmth and love. We'd recently met, and we were thrilled to spend every possible moment together. I remembered what it was like, sitting there, studying for my physics exam, and holding hands with the woman I loved.

I could go back, I realized, back to that spring, back to that warmth, back to that day, back to that love—back to Kanan.

I returned to the notes once again, and now I read them in a new light.

From that moment onward, I truly was obsessed with the idea of the time machine. I pored furiously over the notes, well into the sun's rising, creating my own ideas for how I could make the physicist's vision a reality, feverish over the notion that I could return to the day Kanan was taken and prevent all the terrible events that followed, and the more I thought about it, the more determined I became to make it a reality.

At first, I had no idea how I could possibly go about it. Needless to say, we did not live in a highly technological region, and though I scouted around town for the parts I'd need, it was difficult to find even unwanted scraps of iron, and I nearly gave up hope.

Of course, then it came to me that the physicist who'd written the notes would have to have the means to build the time machine, or at least he must have made some headway in it, so I returned to the mountain top to search the tower once again. I took Jeep this time, because time was of the essence. The sooner my machine was constructed, the sooner I could be reunited with Kanan.

Fortunately, after scouring the abandoned lab, I did find the most crucial elements for the time machine, along with the essential tools I would need, and the only problem that remained was transporting all the pieces back home.

It became obvious to me that the most sensible method to go about it was to transport loads piecemeal. Most of the metal was clunky and difficult to manage, and I knew I would have to make numerous trips to the lab, but I didn't mind. I was anxious to start my project.

All I could think of was Kanan, and that day we'd studied together under the tree, the way she'd smiled so gently at me, our discussion of my physics lesson, the warm touch of her hand, and that thrilling reassurance that had blasted through my heart, that knowledge that I'd found her and I'd never have to be alone again. As I began my work on the time machine, I daydreamed about going back to that moment, jogging up that hill and taking her in my arms, touching her and smelling her hair, feeling her body against mine, and knowing she was safe. I would be able to protect her for sure this time. And at night I dreamed about it in such vivid detail that it often woke me up. Normally, such a dream would have filled me with utter despair, but now, unexpectedly, out of nowhere, there was hope to make these dreams a reality, and I sometimes got up in the middle of the night. There wasn't much I could do in the dark, but I'd sit up and read the notes and plan for the day of work ahead of me, polishing every step down to the last detail, or I'd make another long trek back to the lab for more parts.

Of course, it didn't take Gojyo long to notice I was building something in the dormant garden. On the second day of construction, he came and stood on the back porch, smoking and shuddering in the cold. I didn't have to look at him to know what expression he was wearing.

"What in the hell…are you doing, Hakkai?"

"Manual labor," I returned blithely. "Are you so unfamiliar with it that you don't even recognize it by sight?"

He decided not to joke with me, a rarity in itself. "You're not… Tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing."

"I don't know. What do you think I'm doing?"

"I think you're building a time machine…but that sounds crazy even to say out loud, so I really want to think I'm wrong and this is just…some mod for the Jeep, or something."

Jeep, who was perched nearby on the apparatus, looked up at hearing his name and chirped. He was my only companion in this endeavor and he spent all his time roosting and fluttering nearby as I worked.

"This is only an experiment," I lied. "I just want to see if it's really possible."

"Possible? You raved for days about how it's possible. I didn't think that meant you were going to build it."

"Yes, well…" I paused to tighten a bolt. "I'm a hands-on learner."

He was quiet for so long I thought he might have gone back inside, but I turned to find him standing there, staring at me with a bewildered expression and an unusual frown on his lips.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"What's the matter?" he echoed. "Hakkai…this is crazy. I can't believe you're doing this."

"Oh, I don't think it's all that outrageous. It's what any physicist worth his salt would do."

"Since when are you a physicist?"

"I got my degree in physics, you know."

"Yeah, you keep saying that but…"

"But what?"

"But that doesn't make you a physicist."

I returned to my work. "Perhaps you don't know me as well as you think you do."

He had nothing to say to that, and then he did return inside.

For days, my machine was all I thought about. I stopped going to work, and even my maintenance of the house suffered. That didn't matter though. All that mattered now was the magnificent possibilities opened up for me. I worked all the more adamantly on it, hardly eating or sleeping, and every day brought me that much closer to the wonderful goal I'd chosen. To think that just a few weeks ago I'd not thought such a thing could happen. Over the last three years, I'd given up, I'd accepted that life without Kanan was my reality, and I'd succumbed to that sad reality. Now, hope had been rekindled. It was still possible for me to have the thing I had desired most throughout my entire life. I wondered at the miracles of science.

Gojyo disapproved of my work. He came and talked to me about the project often enough, making very few opinionated statements, but I could see and hear the objection in his eyes and voice.

"What about Sanzo?" he asked one day.

"I doubt Sanzo is familiar with the fine details of physics," I allowed, welding part of my apparatus together. There was still so much work to do.

"But that mission he sent us on. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a pretty big deal."

"I'm astonished you're thinking about it at all," I chuckled.

"Why? Because you're not?"

"No, it just isn't like you to worry over the errands Sanzo sends us on."

"Those people got killed, Hakkai," he said stonily. "We were supposed to find out how, and why."

"Sanzo never said that."

"Then why did he send us up there?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, wiping my forehead. Even in the bitter cold my hard work made me sweat, and the ferocity of the dream warmed my anxious soul.

"He's gonna be pissed when he finds out we just…gave up."

"We didn't give up though. We investigated, and we found what we were looking for. We did what he asked us to do."

"Not really."

I shook my head. "Well, why don't you go talk to him and see what he wants you to do next?"

Gojyo paused for a long time. His voice was tinged with disbelief and annoyance. "What he wants me to do?"

"That's right. You're the one who's concerned with it. It's your mission now."

He let out a sharp hiss of frustration, and then turned and stomped back inside without another word. I thought he'd let it go. I didn't see any reason why Gojyo of all people should hang on so tightly to such a thing when there were far pleasanter occupations to amuse himself with.

The next day though, while I was hard at work, he returned, and this time Sanzo came with him.

They stood on either side of me, watching me in silence for several moments before Sanzo asked quietly, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Working," I told him brusquely. Not even Sanzo could distract me. Not this time.

"Gojyo says you went to the lab. Finally. I've been waiting for three weeks to hear back from you."

"I'm surprised you didn't come sooner."

"I trusted you to report to me. I thought you'd show up if I waited. But this…" he kicked the machine lightly. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a time machine, boss," Gojyo told him flippantly. "Can't you tell?"

Sanzo turned to gape at him. "A time machine?"

"That's right. The professor here found some notes up in that lab you sent us to, and now he's building a time machine in our garden. Is that crazy or what?"

Sanzo took a long, long pause to process that. "Hakkai," he said, all the more insistently. "What are you doing?"

"Just what Gojyo said. I'm building a time machine, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd not distract me. It's tedious work." I stood back to examine my plans, which I'd pinned to a nearby tree. So far, everything was working out perfectly. I couldn't think of a single reason why this shouldn't work. Nothing would be able to keep me from going back to Kanan.

"Gojyo also said you found the scientists dead in the lab, like they'd been torn apart by an animal."

"That's right. They'd been mauled by something highly intelligent. Likely a youkai."

He processed that before demanding, somewhat impatiently, "Are you going to figure out who did it? Or why?"

"There was no sign of the perpetrator anywhere, so I don't know how you could go about finding them, but judging by the way the bodies were half-eaten, I'd say the reason is likely sheer madness and nothing more. You're looking for a mad, rogue youkai. Possibly more than one. If you put your ear to the ground you're sure to hear more about it at some point."

"What about you, Hakkai? I asked you to find them."

"Yes, I know, and I'm terribly sorry to disappoint, but I'm busy."

He gave up after that, threw a somewhat typical Sanzo-style fit, said he was never trusting me with anything important ever again, and stormed away.

I kept working on my machine.

An average man would have had to work for months, possibly years on the machine. They would have had setback after setback and made many a weighty mistake, but with my superior intelligence at the helm, fueled by my heartfelt mission, I was able to work almost constantly, and with very few problems. Once I had all the components from the lab, the project went quite smoothly, and in a matter of a few weeks, it was nearly complete, and I grew antsy with the anticipation of my journey, viewing it as a moment of ultimate redemption, a point of light, far off in a long, black tunnel.

Gojyo eventually gave up on trying to talk me out of my work. He still hung around and watched me at times, mostly griping about the cold and questioning over and over whether or not the machine would truly work, but even though he didn't berate the idea out loud, I knew it left him unsettled. He must think me mad, but I knew better. I knew this would work.

Several days before the machine was complete, he pulled up a crate I'd been using to set my tools and parts on so as to keep them dry, and sat down. He said my name with the utmost and uncharacteristic seriousness. "Hakkai…why are you doing this?"

"In the name of science," I told him, equally sincere. I was just finishing the cosmetics on the machine. There was little left to do other than make sure the structure was sturdy.

"Yeah… Really?"

Impatiently, I looked down at him. "I know you don't understand, but this invention could change the course of human history itself. There's so much mankind could accomplish with this technology—I would have to be out of my mind to let the plans I found go to waste, to not try at all. That's what human intelligence is all about after all: testing the boundaries of nature and of the human mind itself. Can't you see that?"

He stared back at me, but not with the frustration and confusion he'd heretofore been showing when we discussed this. He picked up a nearby paper from the physicist's notes and looked it over half-heartedly. "That's all cool. I think any other guy that went to college and got a degree in physics would do the same thing…but maybe he wouldn't take it this far. He'd sell the idea, like I said."

"Then he wouldn't be a true scientist. Any physicist who discovered something this monumental would ache and jump at the chance to experience time travel."

"That's not what I'm saying though. I'm saying that you have personal reasons to want to do this…and you can't pretend I don't know it."

Sighing, I paused from my work to face him. "What of it, Gojyo?"

He set the paper aside and studied his boots, smoking quietly, evidently thinking through what to say next. "If you're doing this because of Kanan…I get that," he allowed softly. "Everybody has plenty of stuff in their past they might want to change…but you've had a really fucked up thing happen to you. I don't blame you for thinking about what you could do to fix it. I know that you've thought about that the whole time I've known you. This is just the first time something's come along that might actually work."

"See? You do understand," I said just as quietly. "This could work for me. This could change everything in my life."

"Yeah, man… Everything." He pushed the hair out of his eyes. "Is life really that bad right now that you'd want to totally change it?"

I shrugged. "No, but…it could be much, much better. It could actually be the way I wanted it to be. You know I never meant to be here, living like this."

He nodded and drew a breath. "I just think this is a bad idea."

"Why?"

He shot me a skeptical glance from under his eyelashes. "Don't you watch movies? Hell, you read books don't you? You really don't see how this could blow up in your face, or why it might be a bad idea?"

"Oh yes, popular culture likes to paint these things in an ill light, but this is different, Gojyo. I know what I'm doing."

"Do you really? I mean…it's kinda like that song where the guy goes back in time to save the girl, and he takes all these wrong turns, and sees all this messed up stuff, and nothing works out how he wants it to…"

"Yes, but in the end he does get to where he wants to be. He gets to have what he's after."

Gojyo frowned. "Sort of… He dies, doesn't he?"

I went back to my work, determined not to let him discourage me. "I'm not going to die, Gojyo."

"Maybe not." He stood up suddenly. "But what if this doesn't work? How bad are you going to fall apart? You've put all your hope into this thing, even if you didn't mean to. Even if it just started as an experiment, or something to try, or a fantasy…you're all into it now, and if it fails, what then? Are you gonna be able to deal with that?"

I glared at him. "You make me out to be rather fragile, don't you?"

"No. But I've seen you fall apart. I just…" he scraped the hair away from his face. "I don't want this to blow up in your face, okay? I don't want you to fail."

"I'm not intending to fail."

"No one ever does."

"What is it about this that really bothers you?" I demanded. "Or am I really to believe that my success or failure is where your interest lies?"

He blinked. He shrugged. He dragged on his cigarette and admitted, "If you get in that thing and zoom off into the past…I'm never gonna see you again. Right?"

For a long time, I couldn't answer. I hadn't exactly thought of that, I'd only thought of where I was going and what I could achieve, and how I could change things. I hadn't thought about the aspect of leaving Gojyo or if I'd be able to get back to him. I shook my head, trying to smile. "You don't know that. I've long felt that you and I were meant to meet—that our meeting was inevitable—I know we'll meet again, eventually, perhaps under better circumstances though."

"In the past," he growled. "You'll meet a past version of me, but what happens to me, right here and now, in this time? You'll be gone forever."

The idea dampened my spirits, and an ache of sorrow filled me. I faced him again, laying down my wrench. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry. Life has such a broad spectrum, even with the boundaries of time and space and distance… It just isn't possible to be everywhere, or to be with everyone, at the same time. One must make the most logical choice."

"And this is it?" he sneered. "Going back in time to save someone who died? That's logical? That makes sense to you?"

"Don't judge me," I snapped. "Don't pretend you wouldn't take the exact same opportunity if it presented itself. Don't act like you wouldn't fly back to Jien and—"

Gojyo winced and cut me off, "I wouldn't. No. Never. Not in a million years. I would never want to go back to my past, Hakkai. It sucked. It's great that you feel like you have a time in your life that's good enough to go back to, but I don't. And right now the future's not looking so awesome either. All I've got is right now, and that's all I want, but if you take off…" He shrugged and stopped suddenly. "Look, it's not my place to change your mind. If this is gonna make you happy, who am I to stop you? Do whatever you want, but I still think it's a bad idea. I don't think you can change the kinda shit you're going to try to change…and if it doesn't work, what makes you think you can come back?" He jerked is head at the machine. "This has never been done before, right?"

"Not as far as I know," I murmured.

"You don't know what will happen. You don't know what could go wrong."

I nodded, but I said, "That's a risk I'm willing to take, I suppose."

Gojyo sighed and looked away, staring at the house a long, long time before he finally threw his cigarette down. "Okay. I can't really blame you. Do what you have to do, pal. I…don't want to make you stay somewhere you're miserable, even if it's in the present."

With that, he walked away, and vanished back inside.

I stared after him a long time, not knowing what to think or even say. Normally, I prided myself in considering all aspects of my actions, but for once I'd been so blinded by what I wanted to happen, I hadn't thought about the possibility of failing, or about the inevitability of leaving Gojyo in this time.

No, that wasn't necessarily true. I may have considered it in passing, but I hadn't wanted to dwell on it. Truth be told, I didn't want to leave Gojyo here. I didn't want to lose the friendship we had. I did earnestly believe I'd meet him again, no matter what time I went back to, and if I could save Kanan, it would be under better circumstances, but I didn't know what would happen to Gojyo in this time. Would going back change things? Were there different times to go back to? I didn't know. The physicist didn't know.

I nearly discontinued the project then and there, because in a world of a million meaningless objects, and unworthy people, pointless thoughts, and unachievable ambitions, Gojyo did matter to me. Could I leave him forever?

I didn't have the answer just then, so I put my things away and went back inside and made dinner, and Gojyo and I ate and talked as if our previous conversation hadn't happened at all, but when I went to bed that night, I felt conflicted by my plan for the first time, and I no longer knew what I should do. In the end, all I could think was there must be some way to make everything work out. There must be some way to have my cake and eat it too, to burn the proverbial candle at both ends. There had to be some way to be with both of them at the same time.

I can come back here, I thought sleepily. I can bring Kanan with me. They'd get along famously anyway—I know they would. We can all live together.

It was a happy thought, sleep-addled as it was. I could see it all too easily, the way we would all fit together in harmony, the way Gojyo could make Kanan laugh, the comfort she would bring into both our lives, how the two of us would always be capable of protecting her, the unbreakable bonds of friendship and love that would tie between the three of us… It would be as close to having a real family as I'd ever had. It would be justified.

I fell asleep dreaming that fantasy.

In the morning however, reality came blazing through with the stark light of winter. I didn't know for sure if that fantasy could be possible at all. I didn't know if I'd be able to come back, or what it would mean for the very nature of time if I altered things so drastically. I didn't know if it was wise. Besides, there was no accounting for what might go wrong. There was the chance I'd be trapped forever in the past.

I told Gojyo I was willing to take those risks, and as I ate breakfast and washed the dishes and went back out to the garden to finish my machine, I mulled it over again.

Nothing had ever been as painful as losing Kanan. Nothing had changed my life and my heart like meeting her had. It was worth the risk, wasn't it?

"I've come too far not to try now," I told Jeep, and I continued working. I could see no other choice at this point, because this wasn't even an option for everyone.

All day, I worked on the machine, and this time Gojyo didn't come and talk to me. When I went back inside to make lunch, I found him missing, and even though I waited all afternoon, he never came home. I kept working, and I listened for any sign of him. I checked back into the house periodically to see if he'd come back without my noticing, but he was gone all day. How like him. Obviously our conversation yesterday had annoyed him. I threw myself headlong into my work, blocking out all other thoughts.

When evening set in, I stood back and examined my creation, satisfied to see that the integrity was up to my expectations, and all the mechanisms were in place, and as best I could tell, it was complete. It was ready to make the journey, and now I had only to be ready as well.

When I went inside, I called out, "It's finished!" and Jeep cheered on my shoulder, but the house was dark, and Gojyo was still gone. I ate dinner and sat up waiting for him, tugging at my limiter cuffs and feeling more and more anxious as I waited for him. The night rolled by, but he didn't come. Around three, I went to bed, thinking he'd be there in the morning, and I had trouble sleeping.

He wasn't there though. When I got up, his door hung open, but there was no sign that he'd ever come home. I waited a while longer still before I decided to look for him.

I went into town and looked everywhere I could think of, but I didn't find him anywhere. There was no telling where he'd gone, but I tried not to let it worry me, and I returned home.

The machine was finished, but I couldn't bring myself to get in it and leave. Not without speaking to Gojyo again.

Three days passed and I waited for him, but he didn't come, and in time I felt irritated and somewhat worried. Did something happen, or was he purposely staying away? There was no way of knowing. I laid on the couch for hours at a time, just listening to the silence, thinking eagerly of the trip I was about to take, feeling frustrated that Gojyo's absence was keeping me from leaving.

At last, I got up and began to collect the things I'd need for my journey. There was precious little space in the time machine, so I packed lightly, taking only the most essential items: some food, a survival kit, my notes and plans, a knife, a small first aid kit, and a canteen of water, and then I waited for Gojyo. Surely he'd be back tonight. I'd never seen him go away for more than three days. He had to return soon.

When I went to bed, he was still missing, and I was beginning to feel somewhat heartsick.

I rose at the break of dawn, determined to get started on my journey. There was no sense in worrying about Gojyo, though it did upset me he wasn't here to see me off. I consoled myself with the knowledge that I had a time machine now, and should anything have happened to him, I'd be able to go back in time and rectify the situation.

You might never see him again… a little voice inside nagged, but I pushed it away. That was ridiculous. Of course I would. I had a time machine. I could now travel anywhere and any time I wanted. I could visit ancient Egypt, so why shouldn't I be able to come right back here, to this moment, and see my room mate?

Even should the machine break, I had my plans, I had my tools and my notes. I could repair it. It might take time to do so, but what was time to me when I could traverse it as easily as sailing down a river? Everything would be fine.

All the same, I left him a note. I had no idea what to say really, so I simply wrote, I'll see you later, and signed my name.

After that, I set out into the garden and prepared for my departure.

With Jeep clinging to my shoulder, I climbed the apparatus and lifted the hatch, setting my bag of supplies inside and making one last check to be sure everything was in working order. Convinced all was well, I hesitated to look back at the house.

It looked peaceful. Snow had fallen last night, but the wind was still, and the trees and roof and window ledges were all dusted in white. The woods were silent. I felt a painful tug at my heart. After three years, this was home. I kept it as well as any dutiful homemaker might, and I'd made it my own. I looked after its contents, as well as the man who'd scammed it away from its original owner. I took pride in its condition. I took comfort in its walls. It gave me security, warmth, and protection. It had sheltered me in the most difficult days of my life, and through every difficulty Gojyo and I had ever suffered, there had always been the consistent reassurance that this place would be here to return to, and that we would be safe within our small fortress.

Desperately, I looked for any shade of red, finding only bleak white, and I felt an emptiness inside but I pushed that away, muttering, "I'll see you again. I promise." And then I heaved myself inside and let the hatch close. I heard it lock into place, and I knew it was time.

I set the date. I drew a deep breath. I pressed the ignition.

At first, nothing happened, and I even wondered if the entire project had been in vain, and then, slowly I became aware of a low-pitched hum. It started out so quietly, I hardly noticed it, but it grew steadily, louder and louder, and the pitch changed as well, climbing higher and higher to a shrill ring.

Jeep shrieked and flapped his wings, thrashing his tail and head back and forth in agitation.

The light around me began to transform as well, the starkness of the winter sun turning more blue, and then it brightened to the point of hurting my good eye. I gripped my seat rests, anxiously, my breathing turning more ragged, my heart beating fiercely, and my mouth turned dry. This was it.

The squealing sound echoed through the trees. Birds took off, cawing in panic and fled into the sky.

Still that blue light grew brighter still, and I felt as if the material around me began to bend as well, quavering as if exposed to extreme heat.

My heart pounded so hard it hurt, and I suddenly couldn't breathe at all. Pain zipped through my head like the worst migraine I'd ever experienced, and I cried out in surprise, clutching my skull. The blue light flashed. The shrill screaming sound reverberated and trilled. A bolt of white-hot lightning crackled across the apparatus of my machine, and then, suddenly, everything went black.

I heard a terrible scream in the dark, and saw bright orange sparks erupt from the dash in front of me. I experienced the sensation of lifting upward and being hurled into the sky. Jeep screeched in my ear and I felt his claws scrape across my cheek, drawing blood. And then a loud boom thundered through my ears. I felt as if my body were turned inside out and torn apart.

After that, I lost consciousness.