A/N: Charm: so, you guys remember those 3 episodes of SP when Cartman's mom had tampered with the DNA test and turned out to be a hermaphrodite? Well, after hearing Cartman's question " 'Well, if she's my dad, then who's my mom?' ", I took it upon myself to answer his question. So, who is Eric Cartman's mother? Is it: Mrs. Crabtree? Sheila Brovfloski? Mrs. Marsh (I forgot her first name)? we'll see! Joan: by the way, she's added me and herself to the story. Charm: we're going to get M. Night Shamalan on you fools! What a twist!

"Who. The hell. Are you?" Cartman and 3 other boys were looking at the 2 strange girls standing beside them casually at the bus stop. The taller of the 2 introduced them. "This is Joan and you can call me Charm." Joan spoke up. "Nice to meet you guys!" Charm was dressed in some emo-gothic Hot Topic clothes and had her black parka hood was done up so you could only see her blood-red eyes. Joan, obviously the more girly of the 2, was dressed in a frilly, pink sweater. "Oh, holy mother of crap, Joan! You look like a freaking cupcake in that damn sweater! Makes me want to barf my guts right on that god awful ensemble of pink!" "Oh shut up, Charm! ! At least I don't look like a freak!" The 2 girls started fighting until the burlier of the two, Charm, ended up straddling Joan on the ground. "WOO HOO!", shouted Kenny, "Cat fight!" Charm abruptly stood up, walked over to Kenny, and slapped him sharply on the face. "Goddamn pervert!" she muttered under her breath. Then the bus came. "SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP!" shouted Mrs. Crabtree. "Shut your fucking face!" yelled Charm. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "I said, my cousin got took down with a bottle of mace!" "Oh. Ok." "Ha-ha, stupid bitch…" "WHAT WAS THAT?" "I said, for Halloween, I'm going to be a witch!" "Oh. Ok." Charm and Kenny sat in the back of the bus, laughing their asses off. " I'm sorry, no one introduced us. I'm-" "Oh, Joan and I both know you. You're Kenny McCormick, the poor boy, then there's Kyle Brovfloski, the Jew, Stan Marsh, the cynic, then Eric Cartman, who deserves an award for being the biggest lardass I've ever seen." "Ooooooookkaaay…." "But, from what I heard, Cartman ROCKS Lady Gaga's Poker Face."

Charm: Okay many of you may have questions. Joan: WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE WAY FIRST! Charm: Jesus Christ, *turns to fanfic audience* Look who's PMS ing! Joan: 0_0…o/o…. SHUT UP!

Charm: ok, first question!

Why haven't you been online for a while?

Answer: our dumb step dad didn't pay the internet bill until a few days ago.

Are you gonna continue your other stories, including this one?

Answer: well, duh! Of course I am!

If you have any other questions, or perhaps a story idea or two, feel free to send them in by reviewing! Review lines are open and operators are standing by!