It had been 3 months before the fight on the bridge, 3 months since I lost my mind, 3 months since I killed the masked figure. I still couldn't forgive myself. After I killed the masked figure I... took his mask off.
I cried of in pain as another flash back arrived.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pain lanced up my arm and I was thrown back into a van. I got up and threw my shield at the masked man but the man ducked the shield just missing him. I gasped, no one but another super soldier could have avoided my shield. I got out his gun, and started shooting. I don't particularly like using my gun but I didn't have a choice, hydra couldn't have a super soldier, it was to dangerous. I used up two full magazines and was half way into my third before the masked man finally fell to his knees. But he was still kicking. I had finally walked up to the masked man got my shield back. I hit him over the head knocking him out and signalled to Nat to come and take him back to shield headquarters. Just as they were taking him away I asked them to wait. I reached up and took off his mask. "Bucky?" I said surprised. They took him away and I was left there in the street holding his mask.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Steve? Steve? Come back to me." Nat shook me out of my horror story and brought me back to the real world.
"I killed him Nat." I whispered still not believing I had. "I killed Bucky. He was my best friend, and I killed him."
"You didn't know Steve." Nat replied gently. "It wasn't your fault." But I was already gone.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."He's dead Steve. He died last night." Tony told me. "He fought back too much. No one could survive that not even you." I looked at the scientist not believing his words. "I'm sorry Steve. I know he was your friend but he was also your enemy."
"No." I whispered. "He isn't dead. This is just one of your tricks Tony." My voice grew louder and I grew angrier.
"Whoa Cap. Calm down. I wish this was a joke but even I'm not that mean. He really is dead. The room is empty if you want to go and say goodbye but if you do go, go soon because they are going to bury him soon. I'm sorry Cap. It want your fault." I just sat there shaking my head. Bucky couldn't be dead, Peggy was dying, I can't loose my golden lady and my best friend again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I shook my head trying to clear the image from my mind. I didn't want to remember the next memory that would come. The pain from the funeral was still too new. The pain from looking at the coffin and knowing my best friend was lying dead because of me.
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I was sat in the front row, I made my speech, I didn't cry, I couldn't feel. I was empt, like a void, like a deep, black void. I didn't let the tears out, I didn't cry, not for a month did I let my self cry. Only when Peggy died exactly a month later did I cry, and then I couldn't stop crying. I would look out the window and see a bird that Bucky had once pointed out to me and I would cry. I would heard some music that Peggy liked and I would cry. I couldn't leave my room because I couldn't stop crying. There were too many people in the past tense for me.
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Bucky, dead. Peggy, dead. Mum, dead. Dad, dead. All my friends from before, dead. My regiment, dead. My family, dead. Everyone I knew, dead. taken everyone away from me but he couldn't take me.
I started crying again as I knew I would never see them again. Unless I forced death to take me too.
I got up and locked my door, I didn't want anyone stopping me. "One more funeral is nothing, third time lucky. Maybe this time the death would stop." My door rattled and I heard Natasha talking to Tony outside.
"Steve open up." Natasha shouted from outside.
"Come on capsickle. Open the door." Tony added.
"Steve, you missed lunch. You need to eat." Natasha sounded like a mum when she said that.
"Steve open the damn door." tony was getting annoyed.
"Leave lunch outside guys. I will grab it in a minute" Steve replied.
"Open the door Steve. Or I'll come in." Natasha warned.
"Whoa nat. Calm down Nat. J.A.R.V.I.S can you open the door please." Tony said trying to calm Natasha down.
"No J.A.R.V.I.S. Don't let anyone in." Steve said hurriedly.
" J.A.R.V.I.S open the damn door." Tony shouted.
"I'm sorry sir I can't do that." J.A.R.V.I.S replied.
"What do you mean?" Steve and Tony yelled at the same time. The door lock clicked a few seconds later and the door swung open. Natasha and Tony ran in but they were to late. There was a gun in Steve's hand and a pool of blood around him. Natasha and Tony stood there before Natasha slowly knelt down beside him and closed his eyes, tears falling silently down her face. She looked up at Tony and saw he was crying too.
"I thought playboys didn't cry." She said and Tony chocked a laugh.
"Well he finally got what he wanted Nat. He's finally peaceful."
