Twilight POV
Edward was gazing deeply into his fair Bella's chocolaty brownish eyes. It felt to him like he could fall into their dark depths for eternity. Bella was feeling similar feelings of gushy emotion. Edward had just returned from his moody bipolar menstrual cycle where he thought his absence would benefit Bella's happiness. Instead, she had gone psycho, and depression had driven her to the brink of insanity. A normal person would have realized her insanity in the first place but, being the stupid vampire boy he was, Edward had left and taken his moody bipolar-ness with him. Now he and his moody bipolar menstrual cycles were back and Bella was beside herself with joy.
"Bella. . ." he said, dramatically pausing with pent-up emotion.
"Edward?" Bella said eagerly, thinking he was going to say they could finally do some sexin!
"I have to go away, girl." He said it very casually and Bella felt like Swiss cheese again.
"Wha...a...a...a...t?" she squeaked with incomprehension.
"Yes," he sighed. He turned to her with a bright smile on his face but then saw she was close to tears. "JK, darling!" he exclaimed. "You're coming with me this time!" He covered his mouth to hide his giggles. Man-giggles!
"Oh, Edward you're so funny!" she fake laughed. Inside her heart, she would never forgive him.
"Carlisle wants us to meet an old friend that he's known since childhood, and he wants to bring the family along for the...broomstick ride!"
"Broomstick ride?" Bella said with eager interest. "That sounds like Harry Potter!"
"Funny you should say that," said Edward slyly and then whoosh, the Cullens were at Hogwarts!
Dun...dun...daaaaa...
Harry Potter POV
"Hermione! We must help Harry."
"Ron, he's just going to the bathroom," sighed Hermione.
"But he's constipated!" shouted Ron, gesticulating wildly.
Harry suddenly appeared. "What are you yelling about Ron!"
Ron whipped his head around with gusto. "Harry! You made it out alive."
"What are you talking about?" asked Harry, confused.
"You were in the bathroom for like ever!" His freckled friend exclaimed like a teenage girl.
Harry's brow furrowed. "Er...I was never in this bathroom."
Ron was dumbfounded. "But then...who was that?"
Hermione, always the smartass, gently placed her hand upon her beloved's shoulder. "That was simply a hallucination, dear, that you conjured up due to your over-eating of sugar and the unusual bromance the two of you share."
Harry grinned roguishly. "Getting a little jealous, Hermione?" he asked. The cheek!
Hermione scowled. "How could you utter such nonsense!"
Ron, trying to be cool...but never succeeding, put his arm around his girl. "You know you're my one and only, Hermycakes!" But when she looked away to see Professor McGonagol lecturing to two unruly students, Ron turned to Harry and mouthed, 'Just kidding. You and me, forever!' He made a heart with his hands and he and Harry shared a bromantic smile of mannish love.
Six vampires with one human to haul, the Family Cullen/Hale/Swan dashed across the school grounds, dodging the Whomping Willow, hurtling past the Black Lake. In . Slow. Motion. Dumbledore was there in the Great Hall, beaming with his usual smile of graciousness and mischief. "Good evening," the headmaster said, trying to sound vampiric.
"Dumbledore," sighed Carlisle. "That is one sad vampire voice. I do not sound like that."
"My apologies, longtime friend," said he with an amiable chuckle, "Hee. Hee."
Carlisle added in his own amiable chuckle...that sounded strangely like Santa Claus. "Ho Ho!"
Bella looked at Edward. "Who's the old guy with the beard and the moon glasses?"
Edward looked at Bella as Bella looked away. "That's Carlisle's childhood friend, since their day of conception."
Bella looked at Edward as Edward looked away. "You mean, they were concepted at the same. Moment. Of. Time?"
Edward looked at Bella as Bella looked away. "No! Where would you get a crazy idea like that?"
Bella shook her head. "Beside the point. I thought he'd be a little more...intellectual."
Edward grimaced as Carlisle and Dumbledore engaged in their Epic Thumb War. "They get a tad... immature when they are around each other."
Carlisle's thumb speed was no match for Dumbledore's magically engorged appendage. The vampire hung his head in final defeat and Dumbledore began cabbage patching in victory, then added in a little running man for flavor.
Esme kindly cleared her throat, adding pleases and thank-yous into the action. Not many can do that, mind you. Carlilse embarrassedly cleared his throat adding blushes and sheepish glances into the action. Not many can do that either. "Dumbledore," he said now in a forced business-like tone. "We were wondering if there may be working positions at your school and sleeping arrangements, if at all possible. The kids can enroll of course, and my wife and I are more than happy to work. She would teach Vampire History and I can work in the Infirmary."
Dumbledore clapped his hands. "That's so wonderful! I'm thrilled. Hang on!" He cart-wheeled and back-flipped down the Great Hall until he landed in front of them again. The Cullens all held up Olympic Scoring Cards: 8, 9.5, 10, 9.5, 8.5, 9, X10. They all clapped with heartfelt cheer. "Come to my office and we can get everything settled and the children sorted!" And the great wizard and the Cullen crew headed off to the office.
