The Intensity of Insanity
"The real insanity is being covered in fear and having nothing to do."
The Insanity
The Piano Room.
They were always there. Trapped. Locked. No escape. Both of them didn't even know when they had gotten in here. The only thought in their feeble minds were 'We're here and we couldn't escape.' Hope was already stripped out of their eyes. They looked like they could crumble in a second, die and dissipate without anyone noticing or knowing.
'Why am I here?' She asked herself. Looking at the dimly lighted ceiling above. Her green eyes fading like a moss. Hope. Where is it? Is there still hope for them? To get out and gain control? Who knows what they were doing outside? Madness. It was too much for her to handle. Maybe she's laughing in a crazy manner outside, swinging her scythe without consciousness. Laughing and giggling how pain was so pleasurable to her eyes. Heck, maybe she was even pointing it at the wrong person.
Back then, she used to have Soul grappling her. Making sure she was never overcome by madness. But now, how? How could she fight her way out when all hope is lost? When the reason she had been fighting for was gone? Also covered by madness. She gazed at the other end of the room, where he, alone, was sitting. Crimson eyes in despair, all the fire of fighting lost. When had the room gotten so big? She thought. He was out of reach, she lifted her finger in chance of touching him. But he was too far, too far away for her fingers to be touched.
That's when the tears around her eyes poured down like rain again. 'Fight, Soul, fight...Where's the lazy ass who always got me out of trouble?' She remembered the day she had gotten here, how long has it been? They were in a battle and he played the piano again. There was nothing wrong using the piano, right? The demon's gone. Soul ate it. He could freely use the piano and amplify their wavelength yet why? Why when the first notes were pressed, madness consumed. Soul reverted back to his human form, disabling Maka to use him. He was unconscious and Maka knew...He was struggling inside, battling the inner demons of the night. And she knew she had to save him. Just as he did whenever she's hanging on a cliff.
When she entered the room, the room was dark. Unlike when she first came and when they danced in it. It was mysterious and achingly enchanting yet now as she strode inside all she could feel was fear. And it chilled her. The thought chilled her. She frantically looked around searching for him, the Soul inside this room. 'Where was he?' She asked herself. Another voice loomed out of the chilly air, answering her damn question.
"Where do you think is he?"
It was not Soul's voice, Maka could comprehend. It was the little red devil's voice that Soul swallowed a long time ago. Yet he was gone right? Why is 'it' here? And why does it seem that 'it' is everywhere around her, surrounding her? 'Fear is constant, it is always there but you will never know when it will overtake you.' The thought swayed before her eyes. And her lips parted a gasp of realization. 'What if? What if he's already gone?' 'No, he couldn't be...He's Soul.' Maka ran over to the door at the end of the room, knowing he's there. That's where he's always. She placed her hand on top of the cold doorknob and twitched it open.
The sight before her nearly killed her. The Piano..The black grand piano was destroyed. Its legs broken, some missing. The whole piano in a slanting position. Some of the keys gone and the others scattered throughout the floor. The strings inside were either cut, coiled or crumbling. Make placed her hands on top of her mouth. 'Who could do such a horrific thing? And Soul...Where the heck is Soul?' Her eyes darted upward, downward, side-ward looking out for a wisp of silver grey hair and red ruby eyes. She walked carefully around the piano, the more she looked at it, the more her heart fell and broke. The sight before her was too much to take.
She reached at the back of the piano, and he was there. Soul in his black and silver pinstripe suit. He was sitting, head bowed down to the ground as if not wanting to see the piano before him. And of course, he's a pianist, who would want a pianist to see the piano in tatters before him? She knelt to reach his level, removing her white snow gloves and reaching for his cheek. How frozen cold it was, in contrast with her warm ones. It seemed like an hour before he responded to her touch, raising his arm a little, topping her hand with his pale cold ones. Still, he did not looked up at her, not wanting to meet her summer green eyes.
"Soul, who did this?" Maka asked, referring to the desecrated Piano. Instead of hearing the grumpy voice he usually emits, she heard the overbearing loud voice of that devil, once again answering her question.
"You don't know, do you? Soul did this himself."
Her hand slipped away from his. Despair surging through her veins. Her emotions were in a turmoil now, mixing, never settling for one feeling. Once, she would feel sadness and then hatred and then loneliness. All of the negative feelings swiveling inside her. She wanted to lash out, to cry and to shout. Yet all she could do was to slump in the ground, mirrored his actions and hung her head lowly in despair and depression.
"S-Soul, how could you do this?" Her voice quivering as she let out every word. In an instant, his arms were wrapped around hers. Clutching her for dear life, as if not wanting to let go of her. As if she'll go away and never come back. His embrace was tight, it almost sucked her breath out yet not a single complain was uttered. All of the time they spent were arguing, she could never abandon him right now. Not at this stage. Her hands made it way to his back, gripping it with hatred. 'Who did this to you? I'll never forgive them for shattering you.'
"It was too much, h-he came everyday. Bigger than what he is yesterday, I tried to push him away...yet he wouldn't!" His cracked voice echoed through the black and white walls. She knew he was crying. She knew he was in despair. She knew he needed her.
"Who? Soul, tell-Don't tell me it was Insanity again!" Maka bit her lip, stopping threatening tears at the brink of her eyes. She must appear strong in front of him. For him. Yet during the moment, all Maka could think was how Soul was consumed by Madness. He looked so hopeless, so out of life. Fragile. Dead. Lifeless. The list could go on infinite. Just seeing him so broken made her heart clench. Almost made her feel hopeless but now, she should be the one reaching out to grasp his hand.
He's now on a cliff, and if she's too late, he'll fall. To the never-ending abyss of nightmares.
"Did you let him consume you? Please tell me you didn't Soul! That's the most idiotic thing you would've done!" She pleaded. And he just held her tighter, crying at her shoulder. She started playfully hitting him at his back with her fists, she knew her punches didn't hurt at all. She just wanted to knock some sense into him. She broke the hug and reached for the pocket of her coat, bringing out a hardbound book she always brought and slammed it at his head.
"Maka-CHOP!" He looked up at her for the first time, crimson eyes finally meeting her emerald ones. For a moment, Maka's heart leapt. Skipping a beat. Her breath was sucked away. Her nonstop changing of emotions finally came to an abrupt end. She could only feel one thing: brokenness. His eyes were on the verge of falling apart, cracks were appearing. His irises already fractured, a glass shattering. No way to pick up the pieces again, because it might only damage her and incur blood.
Her hands cupped his cheeks, her eyes surrendered to the tears. She just forced him to look at her again. There was no way she would let those eyes cast down again and not look at her. She pinned him to the wall, her legs on top of his, locking him down. But she knew he would never try to escape her hold.
"How? H-how could you l-let them do t-this to you?! Y-you crashed your piano...You let yourself be consumed by insanity! I hate you! You idiot!
You left me...you left me! How could I face the world without you?! Why? Why did you do this?! S-stop...please..don't leave me. Let's get out in here...Please, come with me." She said. From a high-pitched voice, then lowering and lowering until the last words became a whisper. She hit him on his chest repeatedly, demanding Soul, her Soul to come back. Her gaze casted down, the tears never stopping.
His hands found its way to her waist, and the touch ignited a spark in her. Electricity coursed into her and jolted her awake. Her head snapped up, looking again at his broken eyes. He lazily smiled at her, cupping her cheek with his other hand.
"I'm tired, Maka. Living in constant fear, always fighting the dark creatures of night. Never knowing when the last battle will be. Never knowing if the mission was safe. Never knowing when will it be my last breath and worst, never knowing when will it be your last. You're tired, I could see it in your eyes. I'm doing nothing great either. Aren't you tired of everything too?" He asked, pulling her close to his chest. His hand petting her head. She could hear his heartbeat, loud and clear.
"I got tired, but never to the extent of giving up." She whispered. His head bent lowly for his lips to meet her ears, he whispered:
"That's the beauty of Insanity, Maka. You'll never get tired. Seeing you in pain hurts me in a lot of ways, please, Maka just...let go. Let Insanity do the work...I love you so much."
She cried harder than before. Her sobs echoing the entire room. How his words were poisoning her in a slow yet deadly way. After a moment, she slumped into his shoulders. Tired yet she had decided. Seeing him in that way made her tired. Hearing his words made her tired. Going back to the reality is making her tired. She's tired and in a way, like Soul, she just wanted to slip away. With him, of course.
"S-Soul, how to let go?"
"Maka, look at me." And she did so, she looked at his fading eyes. Tenuous cheeks and his curling lips. In a second, his lips enraptured hers. All the energy around her drained. In that moment, she didn't seem to have a care around the world, all that matter now was him. Him. Soul. Her Soul. Her love.
'If Insanity is to spend an eternity with him, I wouldn't mind.'
'Insanity, take me.'
She whispered through her mind. The little devil chuckled.
'That's it, my two little angels, you two are each other's insanity. Forget everything, this is how it will all end. And then, I'll show you the real insanity.'
The door behind her locked in a loud manner, as if taunting her that she could never go back. A cut was made in her. Her tie to her sanity was cut. And she is now locked, locked in insanity, with him in her arms. She won't be able to feel what's happening outside nor would she be sane again. They broke the kiss, panting, out of breath.
"What did we do?" She whispered, looking down again. He intertwined his finger with hers.
"Please, stay with me."
"I love you, Soul."
"How pitiable.." The voice woke Maka out of her reverie of memories. She looked up at the chandelier. The voice was everywhere. Under. Above. At the other room. Wherever she goes, the chibi devil's voice would always surround her and him. And that is maddening. Once she had let go, she thought everything will be alright. No sufferings, no care about the world yet the demon acted his promises. Showing them the real insanity. She thought insanity was just about letting go and being crazy. Having no control but now she had learned what true insanity is.
"For you two to be in a state like this..." The red demon continued. The real insanity is being covered in fear and having nothing to do. Being powerless and weak. Everyday or every moment, Maka couldn't even know, that devil would come, not literally. But his voice would overrule the room. And they, Soul and Maka, would hear his voice. He would tell them every day the mistakes they did outside. The madness and craziness that they accepted. He would tell how many children they killed. How many innocent souls they had ate. And how many betrayals they made. Making them regret every inch of the decision they made. But the decision was irrevocable. They could never turn back the cogs of time and reverse their actions. All they could do was to sit and hear the things they've never wanted to be done in the first place. That's the real insanity.
"Shut up!" Soul's grumpy voice shouted at the other end. Maka looked at him, he was suffering from regrets. For being insane, for pulling her at this madness. But Maka would remind him that "Weapons and Meisters are one. If this is your sin, then I, too have committed it." which would make him shed tears more. It was a cycle. They both would suffer this never-ending madness and they would comfort each other. Then, suffer again. And comfort each other.
"Let's see...Did you know Maka that you had just killed Marie and Stein's child?" Maka's eyes widened. Before she was dragged in this, Marie was expecting and Dr. Stein was the father. How many years had passed by now? How old was the child? How many years did she cut from the child to experience? This was her fault, all her fault, if only she was strong enough to pull her and Soul out of this room, she should have done so.
"STOP!" She shrieked, covering her ears with her hands. There it is again, the countless possibilities of him and her escaping. The things she did not do when she had the chance. She would always hear them, the chances she should have taken yet she let go of. Regret hugging her heart, strangling it to no end.
"The child's blood was spilled, nonetheless in Soul's hands...Or should I say blade?" The demon laughed menacingly, looking at the two poor children he made insane.
"You said we wouldn't feel anything anymore! You told me madness is all about forgetting everything yet why does it hurt?!" Maka screamed, clutching at her chest. Soul was looking at her pitifully also tragically.
"Ah! Yes you two are nullified souls...on the outside. You two couldn't feel anything in your body. Pain. Fear. Love. That was all erased in your memory,
outside." The red devil began to explain.
"Then why I am feeling pain?" Soul asked.
"I am repeating, outside. Where you two are insane. You see, you two are the last bits of sanity existing in your souls. Without you two, insanity would never consume you. Notice yourselves becoming tinier? Because, you, the sanity of Soul Eater Evans and Maka Albarn, are getting smaller and smaller. It would only be a matter of time before you two'll fade and become another part of the insanity among yourselves." The demon uncleanly finished. Maka cried, clenching her fists and punching the floor. The room wasn't so big, they, the sanity of themselves had been shrinking.
"I don't understand yet I don't care anymore! This is driving me insane! How could you say that we are the last bits of our own sanity when this whole fiasco is already maddening me?!" She shouted, letting all her frustations out. Hearing all the things she did unconsciously were too much. Hearing the thousand possibilities she could have done in order to save both of them were too much. Being powerless and pathetic in this situation was too much. Seeing Soul in front of her like that was also too much. Her feeling everything was too much. She wanted everything to end, she wanted insanity to consume and devour her.
"Being insane, is not being able to feel anything. You could feel, so you are still sane. But don't worry dear! You're getting tiny and soon you'll be a dormant part of insanity! It would've been easier if you two weren't resonating in souls because if you two aren't then you two would be completely overtaken by madness! Hahaha!" His laugh died down, last words whispering through the chilly air.
"It looks like Tsubaki and the others were chasing you two. I'll-No, you'll kill them later in the most pleasurable way in your eyes."
"I don't get him..." She whispered, not at what the demon had just said. She was pondering on what he had said, awhile ago. Without knowing, Soul was standing and walking to her hopeless form. He bent and placed his hand on top of her head.
"You see, this room was made out of my thoughts. Since I started resonating with you. This room would never exist without you. This was like my safe place, our safe place. There was a reason why this place has no windows. Because if there has, we would be completely overtaken by madness. This room is a lock, a lock of our consciousness. Once we disappear, along with this room...Insanity will rule." Soul explained briefly, giving her a smile of sympathy. He reached out his hand, and she held it. She stood up as he pulled her. True, the two of them had gone smaller. The room got bigger. Thrice of its size as it used to be. Yet she patiently walked with him leading to nowhere.
At the corner of the seemingly room of forever, he stopped. They stopped, on it was a small red grand piano. One that was for children. The piano was for children but for them it fits right. Soul pulled out the small stool and she sat on it. With him behind, he glided his fingers over hers. Leading to some keys of the notes. Pressing it, making a tune, a melody.
"Since when had this appeared?" She asked, bewilderment swaying in her eyes as she looked at him smiling genuinely at her.
"When it struck me that I love you." He answered. For a moment, the two of them were like normal. Not the ones that were infected by insanity. Not the ones under stress and negatives. They were just Soul and Maka. In this piano room, playing.
"You realized it, didn't you?" She asked. He sat beside her, playing his mysterious song she was once hypnotized. But in a more soprano manner, the piano could only emit high notes since it was short.
"That everything will disappear? That soon we'll be consumed by madness? Yeah." Soul said, continuing the sad yet beautiful melody. She grasped for his hand and he stopped playing. He swiveled his head and met her adoring gaze. 'Finally, everything will end...' She thought. She glanced at her feet for a moment, seeing it slowly becoming invisible. 'It's starting..'
"You know this is our last moment..." She said and smiled. The first one she emanated ever since she got stuck in here. She raised her hand to make a contact with his cheek. He turned his head, kissing her palm.
"I asked myself awhile ago why am I here. Why I decided to stay here.." She started. Their gap was disappearing inch by inch until the moment all she could feel was his hot breath on top of her lips.
"Did you find the answer?" He murmured.
"It's because you're here..."
Before they disintegrated to thin air, all that was left was a picture of two lost partners in a chaste kiss.
I admit, Soul was a bit out of character. Maka is a bit out of character. Insanity is a bit out of character. Everything is out of character. Nah, just joking. It has an explanation. Soul is...consumed by insanity. He's hopeless. Maka's hope is Soul. So seeing him out of hope also made her hopeless. And this is confusing because...They're the fucking SANITY left of Maka Albarn and Soul Eater Evans! What does that mean? Then how about the INSANITY of Maka and Soul? How are they? How Soul was consumed by madness? What happened before Maka got in the Piano room?
You'll see in the next chapter. How things are madly happening outside. (You thought this is a oneshot? Only short story, running around 2-4 chapters)
In Soul's point of view! Next chapter: The Insanity I.
-Mizz-Incezt (reviews wouldn't hurt)
