Disclaimer: I own nothing, other than far too many shoes. Further disclaimer: updates might be slow, but I'm trying.


Not Dancing

"Mom."

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

After a few moments of silence, Rory looked at her mother again. "Mom?"

"Yeah, uh, sorry, I'm… are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. Five pregnancy tests can't be wrong, can they?"

"No, I suppose not, not unless you have like a weird tumor or something, I think that was in the news a while ago, I don't know, I didn't read it, it sounded gross. Or was it on TV? It may have been on a TV show now that I think about it." Lorelai started rambling, then stopped herself again. Before she said anything else, she refilled her champagne glass and downed it in one. "Is it Logan's? It has to be, unless the Wookie found your number and you just can't resist his mating growls? Or did you still forget to break up with Paul?"

"It's Logan's." Rory looked at her feet, kicking a leaf away with her toes.

"And he's still…?"

"Engaged? Yeah."

"Well, that's just great." Lorelai shook her head. "What the hell, Rory? What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

"Better figure it out quick, 'cause honey, it's not about to get any easier."

"Mom, I…" Rory's voice wavered.

"What, Rory? You what?"

"I don't know." She sniffed back tears, hugging her arms to herself. "Can you not just be happy for me for a minute?"

"That's what you expected?" Lorelai snorted a bitter chuckle. "You're thirty two, Rory, and you haven't had a steady job in years, you're living in your old room, and the baby daddy's marrying someone else. You're right, I'll start planning the baby shower."

"You had me at sixteen!"

"I'm sorry, did I make it sound easy? Were you sitting there writing your book and think 'hey, raising a baby alone sounds like a walk in the park, I'll give it a go'?" She stood up, wrapping her arms around herself. "I have to get some sleep before I get married again. I'll see you later." She marched out of the square, leaving a stunned Rory behind.

Fifteen minutes later, she walked into the diner, letting the door slam behind her. She headed towards the curtain but stopped, nearly running into Jess who managed to barely keep a hold of the plate in his hand.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Peachy." She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "I was going upstairs, I … I screwed up, really screwed up and mom and I got into a fight and I don't really feel like going to her place right now. I was going to go to Lane's, but she said she had to be somewhere, I can't remember, anyway, she's not home and I have nowhere else to go so is it ok if I just…?" She looked at the curtain, hoping to get out before she started crying again. "Kirk's in the square with his damn pig." She added, tilting her head back towards the square.

"Go." He told her, standing out of the way.

A couple of minutes later, he knocked on the door, holding a cup of coffee in one hand. "It's me."

"Come in." She called from the other side of the door.

"I brought you some coffee." Jess set the cup down on the table in front of her. "You want to talk?" He offered and she looked at him, as if weighing up his offer.

"I don't know."

"Ok." He shrugged, unsure of what to do.

"Sorry," Rory shook her head, eyes fixed on the cup. "I just… it's all messed up, you know? Me. I'm messed up."

"I got that." He put his hands on the back of the free chair and looked at her, waiting. She glanced up, then down at the chair.

"I…"

"How about we talk about something that's not this screw up, whatever it is?" Jess offered with a small smirk.

"What, the weather?"

"I'm sure there are other things out in the world to talk about. This election's been pretty good fodder lately." He sat down, sliding the chair closer to the table.

She bit back tears, sharply turning her head to look out the window. "Sorry." She mumbled after a few seconds. "I'm…" she started again, then stopped.

"When was the last time you got any sleep?"

"A while."

"Start there." Jess said, smiling. "Nothing seems as bad when you're rested."

She chewed her bottom lip, looking at him, then nodded. "Yeah."

"If I hear you walking around, I'm telling Luke you've decided to try eating healthy for a week." He stood up again, looking at her.

"Like he'd ever buy that."

"Is that really a chance you're willing to take?" Another smirk before heading for the door.

"Jess?" Her voice stopped him and he turned around. "Can you tell me…"

"You'll be ok." He gave a short goodbye nod as she smiled gratefully, before leaving the room to go back to the diner.


"Mom?" Rory spoke tentatively, poking her head into the living room of her mother's house. "I didn't know if you still wanted me to come and help you get ready? My phone's dead." She added.

"Sit." Lorelai patted the couch next to her, picking up her coffee cup as she waited for Rory. "Coffee?"

"I don't know." Rory shrugged. "I need to look into it."

"Ah. Hence the abandoned coffee cup in the kitchen the other day." She replied as the pieces fell into place. "Rory, I…"

"Let me go first." She asked her mother and Lorelai nodded. "Everything you said? You were right. And I'm done, with the flying and the wasting time and all of it, I'm done, I'll figure things out even if I don't keep this baby. You were right." She told her again. "I'm so sorry, mom."

"Oh, kid…" Lorelai put her arm over her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "Everything will be fine."

"Doesn't feel like it right now."

"I know." She hugged her again. "Five pregnancy tests though? Five?"

"Two multipacks. I thought maybe the first box was broken or something, they'd made them wrong? so I went back to the store and got a different brand and hey, turns out, not wrong."

"There's sure and then there's that sure." Lorelai chuckled. "When?"

"Last night. Well, last night for sure. I was in Hartford on Thursday running an errand for grandma and I checked my diary for a phone number and I realized I was really late. The first box happened that afternoon when I got home, but it took me a couple more days to actually brave up and confirm things. Because you know, it was so unlikely until then."

"Rory…" her grip tightened again, running her hand up and down Rory's shoulder. "You'll be fine." She tried to reassure her.

Rory forced a smile in return, then looked at her mother's nearly empty coffee cup. "Come on, let's get you a refill." She marched to the kitchen with Lorelai following. After refilling Lorelai's cup, she opened the fridge and pulled out a juice carton. "Juice is supposed to be good for you, right?"

"So Luke tells me everyday."

Rory poured some into a glass, then sniffed at it, suspiciously, before setting it down on the table and sitting across from her mother.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Not touching that one. I'm here whatever you decide, but I'm not even handing you a coin if you decide to flip for it, that's how out of this decision I am."

"Mom…"

"Nuh-uh." Lorelai shook her head. "Have you talked to…?"

"No." Rory sniffed at the juice again, then took a small sip and grimaced. "I was waiting until I knew what I wanted to do." She stared down at her hands, clasped around the glass. "Him and I…? We're done. We have to be done."

"Because he's engaged?"

She shook her head. "Because we tried to many times and we had so many chances and it just… we have to be done." She said again. "Not that the engagement makes things easier either." She added. "I'm going to tell him, I promise, I just want to have a plan in place before I do. If I don't, he'll open his mouth and say things and then I'll crumble and this kid, if…" she paused for a second "...this kid deserves better than us together."

"Ok." Lorelai smiled, reaching over the table and squeezing Rory's arm.

"Now if only I could figure out what this plan is… Are you sure you have no advice?"

"Very sure."

"Did you ever think about not having me?"

"Nope, teenage motherhood was always my goal." Lorelai chuckled. "It's not the same thing, Rory. You and me? Not even close."

"I know. But…"

"I thought about it. I don't think I ever made a decision, as much as I thought about it for too long that the decision was made for me."

"That's not very useful advice."

"I did say I wasn't giving you any advice." Lorelai pointed out. "Take a few days, think about what you want your life to be, five-ten years from now. Make a list, lists always help. And that's not advice."

"Of course not." Rory smiled, standing up. "Come on, grandma's gonna be here soon, we need to start getting you ready before she has a chance to object."

"Don't take away the joy of my mother's disapproval." She took a couple of steps to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "You will be ok. Whatever you decide. You'll be fine."

"Thanks."

"Now…" Lorelai took Rory's glass of orange juice and poured it into the sink, rinsing it quickly. She then reached into a cabinet and grabbed a paper Luke's cup and handed it to Rory. "Harder to see you're not drinking your coffee."

"Genius."

"I have my moments."


Later that evening, at the wedding.

Rory sat down next to Jess, kicking off her shoes under the table. "Don't judge."

"Hey, I said nothing." He smirked.

"Not dancing?"

"Saving myself in case a hora breaks out." He glanced over at the scotch bottle on the table. "Drink?"

"I'm ok." She shrugged. "About this morning… thank you."

"You feeling better?"

"It's amazing what a small meltdown will do to a girl."

"I'll be here all night if you need to do it again."

"Thanks." She smiled, rubbing her foot under the table. "I'm ok for now, but I'll keep it in mind, just in case."

"You and Lorelai… you looked better."

"Yeah, I think we are. I hope so, anyway." She looked at her mother, dancing with Luke. "Liz's wedding seems like a lifetime ago, I can't believe how long it's taken them."

"I can't believe Liz's been married this long." Another smirk. "Apparently singing and juggling was what it took to get her to stay married longer than six months."

"We were so young." She smiled, looking at Jess. "Do you ever…?" She stopped, biting her lip and he shrugged. "I've been thinking about you, way back when. Writing this book is bringing a lot of it up. I can't figure out how to write about you. Dean? That was easy, but you… I can figure it out."

"You do it honestly." Jess shrugged. "And don't forget the leather jacket."

"That doesn't give me much."

"I was a dick. You can't make that sound better."

"You were…"

"It's ok, you won't hurt my feelings."

"I was going to say you were complicated. I was to blame too, it's not like I wasn't. And hey, I turned out to be the much bigger screw up, so take that, teenage Jess." She chuckled. "Maybe I should have gone away with you after Liz's wedding."

"Nah, you belonged at Yale." He smiled. "We had bad timing. Bad geography too. Bad a lot of things."

"The good was good though." She returned his smile.

"That it was." Another sip from his drink, not looking away from her.

"Can I send you a draft, see if you approve?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"You can call, if you want to talk about book writing. Or have another meltdown."

"Very generous."

"I need to make sure you don't make me sound like too good a guy." He smirked. "I have a reputation to uphold."

"I'll mention your puppy kicking habit."

"Appreciate it."

Rory put her shoes back on, looking at the dance floor, then over at the cake table. "I'm going to go have more cake. You want some?"

"I'm ok." He shook his head.

"Thank you." She told him again, standing up. "I'll see about getting that hora started."

"Great."

"See you around."

"Have fun." He watched her go, the edge of regret he never could quite shake off sharper than usual.