Disclaimer: Unfortunately I hold no claim to the Harry Potter stars or the awesomeness of the actual Calendar Girls movie.
I do however take full responsibility for any mistakes my less the adequate proof reading skills have missed. (Beta Anyone?)
Calendar Girls
Chapter 1 – September, October or if your lucky- November?
Hermione Granger stared hard at one Ginny Weasley, searching her face for any signs of falsehood to her previous statement. She stared to the point Ginny began to frown and asked her if she was alright, prodding her shoulders until she returned to the seat she had taken in the Gryffindor common room before Ginny's little "epiphany" had forced her to stand- as if SHE was the one to be needing to sit down and do a couple of breathing exercises.
"I think the question here is-are you?" she looked at her friend quizzically, still not entirely sure if Ginny was having a laugh.
"Oh don't look like your about to cart me off to St Mungos for a psychiatric evaluation, it's a perfectly sane idea", Ginny stated, squaring her shoulders as if to question her own sanity.
"Oh I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that my best friend was in the midst of having a nervous breakdown- Her once calm voice turning frantically mouse like, "Cause the last time I checked, deciding to take derogatory pictures for a magical calendar purely to promote your brothers joke shop isn't such a sane idea Gin" she huffed out, her brain still unable to quite piece together were this ludicrous idea came from.
"keep your voice down Hermione", Ginny waved her hand as her eyes shifted around the half full common room, were a few of its occupants were already looking there way.
Now when Hermione had decided to retake her final year of school without Ron and Harry, she'd never had thought to factor in a deranged Ginny. She was hopping she'd finally get that uneventful year she'd been longing for, but by the look of mischief and excitement in her red headed friends eyes-that wasn't going to happen. Pulling her wand from her robe she cast a quick silencing charm and on second thoughts casted another charm that would cause people to overlook them if physical restraint became necessary.
"And it's not just about promoting the shop Mione, you know as well as I do that business isn't doing the great", her mischievous eyes dimmed.
Ever since Fred's death, George Weasley was struggling to uphold the joke shop, even with the help of Ron, they hadn't to produce anything new and in doing so, customers had dwindled. The joke shop itself held an air of unhappiness, driving away even the most loyal of customers. Hermione's heart went out the family and the girl in front of her, she sighed tiredly.
"I know Gin, but I don't see how this idea is going to help", she said with a gentle voice.
"It's not like I haven't thought this through you know, I have it all mapped out", she grumbled back sullenly now, but Hermione truly didn't believe she did have it all mapped out- so she tried a different approach.
"Does George even know about this?"
"Of-of course he does. He's the one that asked me to help promote the shop" Ginny wasn't necessarily lying, but she wasn't telling the entire truth either- not that Hermione needed to know.
"Riiiight, then if it isn't to hear a lecture on how ridiculous this idea is- why are you telling me?" she asked, half curious, half suspicious.
"Well- Ginny began, her mischievous glimmer returning to her eyes as she looked back at her.
"Oh no Gin, no way, absolutely no way", shaking her head as if to emphasise she was playing no part in this.
"I think you'd make a wonderful September" Ginny continued, pretending to examine her fingernails.
"No" she repeated, completely baffled by her friends persistence. Surely she knew her well enough by now that she would never participate in something like that?
"No? Perhaps October, we could factor in a bit of Halloween spirit yeah?" she had the gall to say this with a serious face.
"No!" she repeated again, getting agitated.
"Well you can't have November, that's when Quidditch season starts and I call dibs", she crossed her arms at this.
"Ginny!"
"Fine! Perhaps we can negotiate-
"I said no Ginny. I don't want to be September or November or any other month for that matter" Hermione cut her off.
"But Hermio- she began to whine, pulling out some pretty impressive puppy dog eyes that reminded her far too much of Ron that she almost caved.
"I said no and that's final", she got up from her seat and marched up to her dormitory before she could retract her decision.
Little did poor Hermione know that this Weasley wasn't in a habit of taking no for an answer and was already smiling wickedly at the ideas she had to make Hermione change her mind.
"Her-mi-o-neee!"
She picked up her pace, she was not about to let herself be cornered by Ginny again. It had only been a couple of days since Ginny had confronted her with her incredulous plan and ever since then she had been trying everything in the book to make her crack and say yes. And everything in the book meant telling her she looked like an April, slipping subtle hints at meal times, writing her "special" notes during important classes, guilt trips and as she was currently doing now- trying to heard her into a corner so she could be bombarded with whines and pleas.
Poor Hermione was beginning to reach her wits end, but it seemed both were far too stubborn to concede. Practically sprinting now, she made her way down to the dungeons.
She was in so much of a hurry to escape Ginny that she'd failed to notice the red headed girl stop perusing her in favour of using her wand.
"Miss Granger, what is the purpose of the Wiggenweld Potion?" Professor Slughorn asked from the front of the classroom.
All of the students that had chosen to return to repeat their final year had been integrated into the current 7th year- which worked out well considering half of last year's 6th years hadn't returned and surprisingly, a lot of last year's would-be-graduates had. What was even more surprising was the amount of Slytherin's that had returned, not that she paid much mind to them and in all honesty the Slytherin's had more or less kept to themselves.
"The Wiggenweld Potion serves as the remedy for- January!"
One very long awkward pause later….
"Excuse me Miss Granger?" the pudgy professor looked at her confused, as well he should be- she'd just sung out the first month of the year in an operatic voice instead of Draught of Living Death.
The room was silent, even the bubbling cauldrons seemed to turn to simmer, as if they too were wondering if the Gryffindor Princess had really just sung out. Hermione herself was having trouble trying to make sense of things. Perhaps she ought to try again to insure Ginny's sanity wasn't rubbing off on her.
"February, Marchhhh APRIL JULNG– clamping a hand over her mouth she fugitively tried to stop the incisive singing from escaping her mouth – alas the damage had been done.
The laughing of course started from the back of the class room, which the Slytherin's continued to claim as their territory. It then spread through the few Ravenclaw's and Hufflepuff's before the loudest laugh could be heard from the Gryffindor's. Damn it, did Seamus really need to return this year?
Fighting the mother of all embarrassing blushes, Hermione hastily gathered her books into her bag and made a rush for the door- although as luck would have it, not without catching a hushed comment from Pansy Parkinson.
"I'm sure June comes before July"
This only served to make the Slytherin's laugh louder. The fact that Parkinson had said it in such a befuddled voice only added insult to injury. Well forgive me if trying to stop myself from singing out months of the year makes them sound like I can't discern the correct order!
Fuming with embarrassment and anger, Hermione excited with only one purpose- to find Ginny bloody Weasley.
Bumbling past a few students in the process of changing classes, she sprinted forward, only to find herself pausing outside the Gryffindor portrait.
"Password?" the fat lady asked her with a board expression.
Growling, which only came out as a grumbled August, September, October, Hermione stood waiting with little patience till somebody else needed to enter the common room. There was no way in hell she was even attempt to word a password, too afraid to end up singing all over again. Tapping her feet impatiently she moved to the side of the portrait and waited.
And waited.
She waited to the point if she had to wait a minute longer she would tear down the poor fat lady to get inside. But it seemed unnecessary as the current bane of her existence came out of the portrait opening- all smiles. God she missed the days when all she loathed was the ground the rightfully dubbed Ferret face walked on, and the freak show he followed.
"Mione, you're back early?" Ginny smiled sweetly as she purposefully failed to acknowledge her friends tender state.
Perhaps it was her own fault for assuming that not having Harry and Ron to look after would mean her final year of Hogwarts would be a walk in the park. Perhaps she should take some responsibility for underestimating the youngest Weasley.
She would not however, take any responsibility for currently tackling her dearest friend through the portrait hole and into the common room.
"NOVEMBER! NOVEMBER! NOVEMBERRRR!" she shouted, raising her hands in the air as she told of her off - not even registering she was still jinxed from speaking, ahem, or singing anything other than the months of the year.
"Alright Hermione you can have November!", Ginny shouted back, trying-and notably failing- to consume her great amusement of her older friends predicament.
Hermione's eyes narrowed as she watched her no longer friend stifle a chuckle- "December" she hissed slowly in warning.
That was it for poor Ginny; she collapsed to the floor in a fit of giggles, obviously struggling to breath from the hilarity of it all.
Good Hermione thought.
"Oh- oh- Mione, I'm so sorry but you should have seen your face. Classic" Ginny broke out into another round of giggles.
Hermione stomped her feet in anger, growling out another round of months before seriously considering putting her wand less magic to the test.
"Alright, alright." Ginny finally said as a particularly violent gesture from Hermione caused her to put a stop to her laughing.
"You've got to understand though Hermione; I reckon this idea could really help George you know? He's been so down the last couple a months." Ginny pleaded with her friend.
"Mum and Dad have been bending over backwards to try and bring him out of his depression but nothings working. The last thing he needs is to lose the shop too, Mione please- All humour had drained from her face and was replaced with such tiredness that Hermione calmed a little.
"I can't do this without my best friend." Ginny pleaded and Hermione's reserve broke.
Reaching out to her best friend-yes still best friend- she gave her a small hug that literally had Ginny jumping for joy.
"So you'll do it?" she said excitedly.
"January" she grumbled back.
"Oh good, cause for a second there I thought I'd have to fight you for November" she shrugged, looking more than a little relieved.
Authors note: Soooooo what did you think? Hate it? Love it? Not entirely sure what this is all about? Let me know!
2 down and 10 more months to fill, who do you think Ginny's thinking of to fill those spots?
Preview of next chapter:
"Oh for merlin's sake! Nargleary or Narglember are not Months!" Hermione Huffed out in annoyance, choosing to ignore Ginny's whisper of November being taken anyway.
"I think you'll find you're highly mistaken" a dreamy voice replied in a serious tone.
….
Let me know what you think and if I should continue?
Also feel free to suggest some girls to fill the remaining months.
