So, this is my first ever BellDom... I guess I felt like a little change from Frerard, so I decided to give this a try.
I don't own anything except the story line, which is entirely fictional.
"We're going to be famous one day, baby"
You kiss along my jaw line, drifting up to my ear, nibbling carelessly on the lobe.
"One day we're going to play Wembley. Baby, we're going to make it big"
You're hands creep under my shirt, grazing over my chest, delicate, like angel's breath.
"D'you promise, Matt?" My voice wobbles like jelly. I steady it, like my balance, as suddenly you push me back against the wall.
"Of course I promise, baby" You place a hungry kiss upon my lips, groaning as you pull my t-shirt over my head. My reaction is luke-warm.
"Baby, what's wrong? You know I love you, don't you?" You place your hands on my shoulders, rubbing your thumbs into my collar bones, gazing at me with those eyes.
Ocean eyes.
"Yeah… do you promise you'll always love me?"
"Yeah, I promise."
We're sitting on the floor together, surrounded by coloured slices of that jigsaw puzzle we're building up together. That one that glows auburn and bronze- an autumn scene. That one that has what feels like a million pieces; that no matter how many months we've been working at it together, it never feels any more finished than it was the last time. Maybe we'll never finish it. I hope we do, though.
"I was thinking", I ponder as I attempt to squeeze two pieces of border together that obviously don't fit, "We should get some friends round next Friday- Have a sort of party type thing…"
You laugh, as you pass me the real piece that fits into the one I've been abusing.
"I don't want to have a party- I want to spend time with you. Y'know, just us… Together"
I sigh a little, as I fit the little chunk of border into the rest of the puzzle, completing part of a tree, or perhaps it is the decaying foliage blanketing the ground? I'm not quite sure.
"But we always spend time "just us". I don't feel like I spend time with anyone else these days… Why do you want to be with me so often?"
You roll your eyes, shaking your head from side to side as you pick up another little chunk of jigsaw, inspecting it before pushing it along the carpet towards me.
"Because I love you, baby! Isn't it obvious?"
I chew on my lip a little, feeling my teeth nip the flesh, but not caring, as I examine the piece you passed me.
"I don't think that piece belongs to this jigsaw."
"Fuck, Dom! Tell me you love me!"
You roll your hips into mine; tilt your head backwards, panting, sweating. Our skin sticks together like the back of a post it note would to paper.
"I love you Matt, I love you!"
Your fingers grasp into my hips and I can feel your nails dig into my skin, breaking it, drawing minute droplets of blood. It hurts, but I could never tell you that.
"Louder, Baby, fuckin' louder! Who do you love?"
My back arches and my head begins to buzz as slowly my vision clouds over, my mind losing the ability to form a serviceable thought. I can't help but scream out my reply now.
"You, Matthew! Fuckin' you! I love you!"
I open the front door to our flat, slamming it shut thanks to the strength of the wind, shielding myself from the winter chill, my bones aching and frosted over.
"Who's Luke?"
I throw my keys to the coffee table in the hall, twisting my gaze round to search for yours. I can't find you so toss out a reply.
"What?"
I wander through to our bedroom to find you sitting on our bed, my mobile tight in your grip, your eyes glued to the screen.
Your gaze snaps up.
Your eyes are different- the ocean is rocky tonight, and I fear a storm may be on its way.
"You heard me alright. Who the fuck is Luke?"
My mouth bobs open, but closes again. I try to speak but can't- my tongue is numb and unable to form a sound.
You pound my phone against the wall and I can literally feel the screen shatter with a satisfying crack before it tumbles to the ground, landing on the carpet with a thud. You hurdle from our bed and clutch me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me to your level. I begin to sob uncontrollably in fear, not guilt.
"Who is he, then?"
My voice is crackling and rasping, but I answer.
"He-he's a guy I used to b-be friends with in high school! We were just going t-to meet up for coffee, I swear!"
"Bullshit!"
You push me back against our wardrobe, my back slamming against the wooden doors. The jigsaw and its board - the one we've been working on for years now- once balanced on top, but now they're toppling down on top of me. The pieces flutter to the ground, delicate like butterflies, burning different shades of red and amber and gold.
Like someone has set fire to the snow.
"Don't fuckin' lie to me, baby!"
I swallow down my nerves with a whimper.
"I'd never lie to you, Matt…"
I'm lying in my bunk on our tour bus- head phones in, eyes screwed shut tight- when you lie beside me, wrapping your arm around my waist and pulling me in close as you snuggle into my neck. You pull my headphones out of my ears with a single tug from your finger.
"You smell like sex", I state clearly. There is no detectable emotion in my voice.
"Like sex, baby?" You sound carefree- clearly drunken.
"Yes, like you've been fucking some whore."
You giggle as you place a sloppy kiss on my cheek, almost missing- yet another piece of evidence to your after-show antics.
"But the only whore I've been fucking is you, baby!"
I grunt as I push my headphones back into my ears.
My palms are sweaty- my drumsticks nearly slip from my grasp.
I look out. All I can see is people- thousands and thousands of fans, all here to see us.
Here we are. We're playing Wembley.
You told the truth, all those years ago, about most things at least.
I doubt you love me anymore.
You see, our relationship is like a jigsaw- your lies are the pieces, produced for me to fit together in order to see the bigger picture; your promises however, are ones from another puzzle, leading me astray, forming an image of polar opposites.
I don't know if you ever did love me- maybe you think what you feel for me is love, but how can it be anything other than obsession when you captivate me, hide me from the world?
I miss people.
For, although I see people every day- in crowds- I fear I may have forgotten the last friend I talked to. These days, I only ever see you.
"This is it, baby!"
But I can't complain, for you kept your promises.
We most certainly are famous.
