A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, gummy bears, barrels full of Canadians, chia pets, fire extinguishers or possums.
Hermione Granger, age 37, (because she's such a weenie that she still lives with her parents) woke up one day and looked around and thought, "Wow. I just woke up." She slid off her bed gracefully, and fell on her face. She got up, and she was alright, and then she felt like a weenie because she fell on the floor.
Anyway, she got up and went downstairs to greet her parents who were dentists. Since they were dentists they sent her back upstairs to brush the gummy bears out of her teeth. She stomped up the stairs ungratefully. She didn't want to brush the gummy bears out of her teeth! It's not her fault she went to Loony Loser face's party last night, and she was serving lots of gummies. Like seriously, so many kinds of gummies. There were worms, bears, sharks, frogs, octopuses, sour night crawlers, fruits, and dinosaurs. It was regular gummy party.
Anyway, she went to the bathroom. She tried to pull her gummy bears out with her fingers because she was too lazy to use a toothbrush. She said, "Aw. They're stuck." She then used her magical witch-muffin powers to get them out.
Anyway. She then went downstairs to eat breakfast. But then she died. Just kidding. She went to go see her friend Ronald. But then she remembered that he shunned her because she was caught watching Akeelah and the Bee, on DVD. Ronald hates that movie. But Harry likes it. So she decided to go to Harry's house. So she did. She walked all the way next door. But then she ran into barrels of Canadians. "Sorry!" she called. She really was sorry. She hated when she ran into barrels of Canadians. It always made her feel bad that she wasn't Canadian. Oh well. She knocked on Harry's door, but he didn't answer. So she went around back to see if he was there. He wasn't. "Well that was pointless," she said aloud. She turned around to see Ronald standing there, but she ran away because she was scared that he would eat her. But then she changed her mind and decided to go listen to some Valencia. She loves Valencia.
MEANWHILE IN TEREBITHIA:
PJ Caruso and Steve Sobaslai were walking through the forests of Terebithia.
"Why are we here?" asked PJ. "It's boring here. I don't like it. WHERE IS MY CHIA PET?!"
"Calm down weenie face. We've only been here for a few minutes, and besides we have to look for Chris, the McNugget."
"Oh yeah. Poor McNugget. Hey Steve?"
"Yeah?" answered Steve, nonchalantly.
"Do you think there is life on Mars?"
"I dunno. Why are you asking me?"
"Well, because. Think about it. If there really is life on Mars, why don't we know about it by now?"
"PJ, I really don't know," replied Steve.
"But Steve Face! How come people are always sayin', 'Hey. You're stupid. You must have lived on Mars.' For all we know, the people on Mars could be just as normal as us!"
"PJ, no one ever says that."
"They say it to me."
"Gee, I wonder why."
"Me too…" replied PJ stupidly.
All of a sudden a big hairy possum (opossum? Are they really the same thing? Cuz, I don't know and apparently, neither does Mia's math teacher. And he's like 70, so he's supposed to know everything. But he doesn't) came out of no where onto Steve's head.
"STEVE!" screamed PJ. "A possum is attacking you!"
"REALLY? I DIDN'T NOTICE!" yelled Steve. "HELPP!!"
So PJ did help. He hit the possum on the head with a fire extinguisher. He saved poor little Stevie Weenie. He then helped Steve up.
"Gee, thanks PJ! But where did you get the fire extinguisher?" asked Steve.
PJ looked at it for awhile in puzzlement. He finally answered, "I dunno."
A/N: MORE TO COME!!
