I has a rant central! Whoop! Whoop!
Angel: No one will actually read this…
Me: You're five, what do you know?
Angel: A lot of things.
Me: Fine. Now, Flying's Rant Central is a place where I will type about my sucky life and stereotypes. And probably announcing important things if there is any. And book reviews, and all that good schtuff!
Angel: No one's gonna read it…
Me: I don't care.
Angel: Fine then, what's today's rant?
Me: Where do we live Angel?
Angel: Um…South Dakota, U.S.A., but what does that have to do
Me: Exactly. Where I live gets annoying at times. Do you know how many people either think I live in a frickin tipi and hunt buffalo or am extremely fat?
Angel: Um….
Me: A LOT! Why people think all Americans are fat….okay, I understand. But gimme a break! I'm 13 (even though I like to say I'm 14) and weigh about 95-100 pounds. So take that!
Angel: Yeah….
Me: And does it seem like I live in a tipi? I write these amazing pieces of art for the entire world to behold! Tipi's don't have internet acess!
Angel: I get it, but…
Me: WHAT ANGEL!
Angel: The weather here really sucks.
Me: -huffs out big breath- I should elaborate on the weather thing. Let's start with winter, which bugs me right now because that's what it is currently. The lows in winter get to be, I dunno, about 30 degrees below zero. Fahrenheit. And it snows. A lot. A freakin lot.
Angel: Yeah. It's not really fun, because the snow is pretty for like a day, and then it gets dirty and ugly.
Me: Yeah…plow trucks ruin the world I love.
Angel: Not that dramatic, but
Me: Angel, I'm trying to talk here.
Angel: Sorry.
Me: Now in the summer, the highs get about to, I dunno, 100 degrees. Fahrenheit. Which is just as bad.
Angel: I dunno, I haven't been here for a summer yet.
Me: This has…like, nothing to do with Maximum Ride, it's just me ranting.
Angel: Isn't that the point of Rant Central.
Me: Yeah…but it needs something more!
Angel: …what are you doing?
Me: Nothing…just, you know, going into a fiction realm…
Angel: Oh no…
Me: But I'll be back in like…two minutes. –disappears into thin air-
Angel: It's bad enough she kidnapped me. What she doing now? Um…do I have to talk? Yes? Okay. I'm going to review the book with name on it, so if you haven't read it…skip to later on.
Angel: I like me in this book, because I'm not mean to Max. I was never mean to Max! Then again, Flying took me before the books started, so….anyway. The Doomsday Group creeped me out, a lot. And the ending terrified me. And I feel bad for my brother. And Nudge was too quiet. And so was Total. And Patterson makes too many plotholes. And the Voice hardly showed up. And Dylan shouldn't exist. And I want Ella and Dr. M. to come back. And this is a bad review, but I'm 5…so….oh well.
Me: -appears into thin air- I'm back! With a person!
Angel: You brought Sampson here?
Me: -looks very proud- Yes.
Sampson: -whispers- What am I doing here?
Me: Anywho, this is Sampson, from the book you probably haven't read, titled Savvy. Sampson isn't described very well, but in my head he has hazel eyes and brown hair, so that's what he has. And he's quiet and adorable.
Angel: ….Isn't Sampson supposed to be 7?
Me: Well, maybe I like him better when he's 14!
Angel: I'm guessing there's a reason for that…
Me: No really?
Sampson: -has disappeared-
Angel: Where did he go?
Me: He'll be back. He does that all the time in books. And his Savvy is really subtle.
Angel: What is it?
Me: He's good at calming people down.
Angel: Then it's a good thing you brought him here.
Me: See? I'm smart!
Angel: This is dragging on to long….
Me: Yeah…
Angel: We should say something funny.
Me: Ok. Angel got kicked out of kindergarten because people thought she was disrupting class with all the strangely accurate facts she shot out and how she answered questioned before people asked them.
Angel: I didn't like kindergarten anyway.
Me: -sigh- So tell me if I should give up Rant Central, cause I will if people want me to, but I'm keeping Sampson. He's mine.
Angel: In more ways than one…..
Flying Out.
