Artemis hasn't even been at work for two hours when she gets a call from Wally. Now, Wally isn't an incompetent father by any stretch of the imagination, but whenever he calls on his day with the twins, it's always an ordeal. "Jai is allergic to kiwis" or "Irey jumped off the slide and her arm should not look like that" or "the twins have been sampling Nelson's kibble".

Those are always manageable, albeit sometimes tear-filled and involving many a hospital visit, but it's never nothing that two ex-super heroes can't handle. Except that this time, Artemis is a little more than frazzled.

"They what?" She heard Wally the first time, but she was so close to wrapping up her biggest case of the year, and she'd rally rather not have to deal with this now, if ever.

"They're speedsters, Arty." Wally is almost speaking in speed talk and can be heard zipping around the house in an effort to corral their giggling five-year-olds. "I know we've talked about this – no, Irey, we're not going outside right now – but they're just so much older than Dawn and Don were – guys leave Nelson alone!"

She has spent enough time around the Flash Family to recognize the combined sound of flying paper and skidding feet. Keeping Wally on the line Artemis has gathers her belongings and walks out of her office, sticking her head into her boss' door to let her know that "my kids are sick" on her way out.

Phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, Artemis slides into her car and turns her Bluetooth on. Wally and the twins are still audible, his groans and their speedy chattering sounding through the car speakers. Pulling out of the parking lot Artemis contemplates picking up what will soon be a much-needed bottle of whiskey on her way home.

"Wally?" she calls, wincing when she hears a crash, followed by Nelson barking. He yells out a "yeah", sounding even more distracted than he was fifteen seconds ago.

"I'm heading home," Artemis reassures him, "I'm gonna call Bart and have him go help you out."

"Oh thank God," Wally breathes before hanging up as another crash comes from his end of the line.

Caught between being amused and definitely not whelmed, Artemis pulls up Bart's number and dials. The time traveler answers on the first ring.

"Hey, Missy!" He drags out the vowels more than necessary. "Long time, no talk! What's up?"

"Do you have time to head over to the house and help Wally out for the next half hour?" Artemis asks as she merges onto the highway, forgoing a stop at the market.

Bart laughs. "What did he do this time?"

"Nothing," Artemis laments, "It's the twins. They're little flashes."

She isn't even through her sentence when Bart starts laughing. Artemis rolls her eyes when his laugh turns into a wheeze. Much to her amusement, Artemis can hear Bart's girlfriend grumbling at him, followed by what she can only assume is the sound of a pillow hitting Bart's head.

"Sorry, sorry," he says, still giggling, not specifying who his apology is directed towards. "I'll be there in a flash!"

It's nine in the morning and Artemis is already pushing the physical limitations of eye rolling.

Twenty minutes later, Artemis pulls into their driveway. Good, she thinks, at least the house is still here.

She's out of the car and not even to the stairs when she's greeted by Wally yanking the front door open. The dork was probably waiting for me at the window. He groans dramatically and collapses against the door frame.

"Calm down, kid genetics," Artemis snickers, pushing past her husband and into their home.

Their home isn't as chaotic as she had anticipated. The shoe rack in the foyer looks a little haphazard and the couch is pushed against the wall, rather than where it usually sits in the middle of the room. Artemis' neat piles of mail that usually wait on the coffee table to be opened now look more like heaps, and several letters have made their way onto the floor. Either the kids were tamer than she gave them credit for, or Wally really booked it putting the house back together.

Bart is currently sitting on the living room rug accompanied by two buzzing five-year-olds, still clad in pajamas, who are using him as a human jungle gym. All three of them are talking too fast for Artemis to understand. Poor, patient Nelson is laying by the TV stand, warily watching his extra-hyperactive small humans.

When the twins finally take notice of their mother, they zip over, running into her legs with just enough force to move her center of balance backwards. Wally, still by the doorway, nudges her shoulder to help her upright.

Her two children babble excitedly, still speaking too fast for any regular human to follow. Wally responds at the same pace, but slows down as he continues to speak. The twins respond in same, matching their father's timing, though still sounding like a constant buzzing. It takes a few more times of Wally slowing down and the twins mocking his speech for Artemis to hear them ask Wally "is this slow enough yet?" Wally finally nods in approval.

"Momma! What we were trying to ask is if you heard the news!" Irey is still speaking a little fast, but even before powers she's always been animated and tends to say everything in one breath.

"Yeah!" Jai on the other hand is painfully aware of his words, leaving him sounding a little forced. "We're fast like daddy and Uncle Bart and Grampa Barry and Don and Dawn!"

Irey huffs, looking over her shoulder at her brother. "She didn't even answer if she heard or not!"

Jai just shrugs.

Artemis reaches down and ruffles her son's unruly brown hair. "Why don't you and Irey go sit with Uncle Bart so dad and I can talk real quick?"

Irey speeds over to Bart, with Jai opting to walk over to his "uncle", looking briefly to his mother for approval of his slow pace.

Artemis grins at him. Wally grabs her hand, dragging her into the kitchen behind him. Hopping onto the counter, Artemis watches her husband as he digs through the fridge for a mid-morning snack.

"So…" she starts.

"Show," he replies, mouth already full of a left over burger that Artemis brought home from a lunch meeting the other day.

Artemis eyes him exasperatedly and hops down from her perch, grabbing a plate out of the cupboard, and taking the burger from Wally's hands on her way to the microwave. Wally pouts, but doesn't say anything as she places the burger on the turntable, opting to watch the seconds tick down.

After re-assuming her spot on the counter, Artemis turns her attention back to her husband. "Really though, Wally, What happened?"

Much to her chagrin, the microwave beeps before he can answer, and Wally quickly opens the door and eagerly lifts his burger out. He takes a moment to scarf it down before speaking.

"Well, you know how Jai has been irritated with Irey lately? About her always getting to the TV before he does?" Artemis nods for him to continue. They had a big squabble last week over Irey always getting to choose a show first because "Jai is a slowpoke".

"So Jai was right behind Irey this morning and she teased him about whose show they'd watch, and Jai got angry and just, well, he ran. Irey wasn't even phased by him speeding, but she was mad about him getting to the remote, so she started running, and they ended up playing keep away until I realized what happened and grabbed them."

"And that's it," Artemis snorted. "That's how they got their speed."

Wally sighed. "Yup. They triggered their metagenes because of a fight over the remote controller."

"Yeah, well Dawn and Don hardly had a dramatic speed story either," Artemis pointed out as she hopped off the counter and headed back to the living room.

"But it was in public!" Wally exclaimed, following her out of the kitchen. "It was a high risk scenario!"

Ignoring Wally, Artemis sat on the floor next to Bart, watching her kids excitedly run around the room. Irey skidded to a stop, using the couch as a buffer, and proceeding to knock it against the wall (so that's why the couch had moved). The little red head sat down in her mother's lap, Jai stopping his laps soon after to go and sit next to his Uncle.

Looking at her kids, Artemis began: "So I'm sure Uncle Bart needs to get back to Seattle for work…" Bart nodded in agreement. "But how about we zeta over to Central in a bit and surprise Don and Dawn when they're home from school."

Jai nodded enthusiastically, but Irey wrinkled her nose and looked up at her mother. "Why can't we run over now?"

Wally, who had since moved over to the arm of the couch, grinned at his daughter's question. "We'll need to go over some rules and do some training before we're running places, baby."

Irey huffed, but nodded anyways. Moping for only a second, she proceeded to perk up. "When can we start training?"

"It will have to be before you go back to school." Artemis responded, bouncing Irey in her lap. As an afterthought, she continued. "Do you remember why daddy doesn't run when he's not helping The Flash and Kid Flash?"

Both twins nodded. "Because he has to keep it a secret that he's fast." Jai explained. Irey nodded in agreement.

"That's right. And now that's why you two have to be careful about when you run, especially when you're outside or with your friends. You can be fast, but only when you're with family for now, okay?"

"Yes, momma," the twins replied in unison.

Artemis smiled. My sweet, smart babies. "Good. Now Uncle Bart needs to go, so say goodbye."

The twins rushed to bear hug their uncle, each getting kisses on the tops of their heads. "Bye kiddos, see ya soon!" Bart stood up from the carpet and sped out of the West home.

Wally stood up from the couch and stretched his arms over his head. "Okay. Who wants to go to see Grampa Barry?"

The twins cheered and hopped up, running to their rooms to change for the day, leaving their parents behind in the living room.

Wally sauntered over to Artemis, plopping down next to her on the carpet and draped his torso over her lap.

"Well, so far, so good," Artemis said, raking her fingers through Wally's hair. Wally hummed in response.

Irey is the first to zip back into the living room, always a surprisingly practical dresser for such an expressive little girl. Jai comes in a few seconds later, likely having taken the time to carefully tie the laces of his beloved combat boots.

"Hey mom," Irey begins, "before we go, can we have a snack? I'm hungry. Like, really, really hungry."

Jai is quick to agree with his sister. "Me too! Starving! I could eat a whole pizza!"

It completely slipped Artemis' mind that the twin's powers not only meant speed, but speedster appetites. Artemis and Wally looked at each other in realization. Jai isn't one to exaggerate, but after today, a whole pizza is probably an accurate description of the hunger that the twins are feeling.

Wally moaned, flailing his limbs so he lay spread eagle over Artemis' lap and the carpet. He glanced up at her, trying to silently bemoan that "this is going to be a lot of work."

Shoving her husband off of her, Artemis stands and beckons to her twins and their new super-capacity stomachs. "Come on babies, let's make a snack." Artemis sighs. She really should have gone to the market.


And there you have it! It's been a while since I've written anything, so let's see how this does! Also, I know some of you are going to be a little grumpy about Bart's girlfriend, but I have plans for that. AND bluepulse bromance is forever and always, so don't you fret. Let me know how you liked this! I have a whole set of one-shots floating around, so I'll post those if you guys end up liking this!