Fallin'


Gwen walked away from Arthur, still shaking her head over what happened. The past few days had been rather confusing. First, Arthur had to stay in her home because he was planning to go to the tournament under a different identity to prove that titles don't matter to him. Next, she called Arthur rude and arrogant. Then, he tried to cook dinner for her which ended in him telling her that he cared about her and that there was an assassin in Camelot. After that, there was the kiss. It wasn't that she didn't like it. She loved it. In fact, she felt so light headed and fuzzy. She didn't want it to end. Now, she and Arthur felt that their relationship would never work.

She didn't want to go through all this again. First, it was her family. Elyan promised he would take care of her but now, he was gone somewhere out there for years. Her father was always the one looking after her and yet now he's gone. Then there was Lancelot. She had to admit that she found herself falling for the "knight" but then, all of a sudden, he left. She was now afraid of what would happen if she fell for Arthur. She didn't want to lose him like she lost her loved ones.

"I'm afraid to fly

And I don't know why

I'm jealous of the people who are not afraid to die," she whispered to herself. She always felt like that. She always felt like a meek and humble servant compared to people like Morgana or even Merlin. They were willing to go to great risks to help those they cared about. As for her, she wasn't so sure. She may have been able to stand up to the prince but who knew?

"It's just that I recall

Back when I was small

Someone promised that they'd catch me

But then they let me fall," she sang softly. It was true. Her father and Elyan said that to her so many times in the past. "I'll be here, Gwen, don't worry." That's what they always said. She even thought Lancelot would be like that. Yet here she was, abandoned by people she placed her trust in. Her estranged brother, her deceased father, and her first love who may or may not be alive.

"And now I'm fallin

Fallin

Fallin fast again

Why do I always take a fall

When I fall in love?" she wondered softly. She felt like she has plummeted to the bottom of the well so many times before. She knows the feeling. Your stomach drops and your heart breaks into a million pieces. Now, her new found feelings for the prince is making her fall fast again. She feels giddy yet sad. Happy yet sorrowful. Her feelings are so jumbled and tumulting. It was puzzling.

"You think by now I've learned

Play with fire you get burned

But fire can be also warm

And that's why I've returned

Turn and walk away

That's what I should do

My head says go and find the door

My heart says I found you," she trilled. She knows what fire feels like. She should know, she's the blacksmith's daughter. She also knows that every time when she's with people she loves she feels always warm and happy. But when they disappear, they leave burns on her heart. Now, that she was falling for Arthur, she didn't know what to do. She wondered if she should take what Arthur had said. That they should just move on with their lives and give up on love yet her heart was screaming, "He's the one. You won't regret this." She's trusted her feelings so many times before but she wasn't sure now.

"And now I'm fallin

Fallin

Fallin fast again

Why do I always take a fall when I fall in love?

It always turns out the same

Loving someone

Losing myself

I only got me to blame," she scolded herself. She really didn't want to go through this. Besides, she knew one thing. How can her and Arthur's relationship be possible? She's a servant and he's the future king. She knew that if both of them acted on their feelings it would result in heartbreak. It might even affect the future of Camelot. Uther would want Arthur to marry a princess or noble woman for the good of the kingdom. She didn't want to hurt anyone, most of all Arthur. She knew that their affections for each other would lead to heartbreak and sadness.

"Help me I'm fallin

Fallin

Fallin

Catch me if you can

Maybe this time I'll have it all

Maybe I'll make it after all

Maybe this time, I won't fall

When I fall in love," she pondered quietly. Yes, she knew she was falling for Arthur. But maybe this time would be different. Maybe the possibility of falling for each other wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe this time Arthur would be the one to catch her. Besides, if two people truly loved each other, things could be conquered.


Gwen had no idea how right she was. As the years passed, their love became stronger and heart felt with each passing day. They were not the only ones who noticed this. Servants tended to see a happy smile on Arthur or a spring in Gwen's walk. Nobody could put two and two together until everyone witnessed their kiss in the courtyard after the first war with Morgana. Then they became engaged but then Lancelot came back. Gwen was exiled while Arthur nearly got married to Mithian. Then Morgana and Helios led another attack on Camelot but they were defeated. Finally, after so many days and years of waiting, Gwen and Arthur finally got married.

Only one thought was in Gwen's head that day: This time, I didn't fall.