LOVE BITES
Author:
Jaspreet Kaur
Mystery Man
It has been a while since I have told someone my story…but it feels like everything happened just yesterday. Memories were as clear as a raindrop. I wish I could relive every moment of those days over and over again. I've lived these past few years as if I have been living in heaven. Every moment, every second was like…chocolate; sweet, smooth, comforting, enjoyable, delightful, and luxurious.
It was October. October…..it's that time of year again, when the streets of New York are raided with kids of all ages roaming the streets in search of candy. Eventually the candy will catch up to the kids, their teeth will rot and their teeth won't last them 'til age 60. Yes, I am a mean person I admit it. But I speak the truth, and the truth hurts. I'm sorry if it offends you. My name's Alexandra. You don't need to know my last name, it's not important at the time. All that's important is that i prefer to be called Alex. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't like to stay in a lot. I'd rather be out playing baseball, basketball or just go chill with friends. I, personally, hate it when people tell me who I can and can't be friends with. If you tell me what to do, well, you've just earned yourself an enemy. It pisses me off so much. You are not my mother to be telling me what to do. It's my life, let me control it, you aren't God so stop acting like it. If I don't learn from my mistakes I won't learn anything. So let me make mistakes, let me correct myself and you should just stop interfering with my life.
I'm your average girl and I'm seventeen-years-old. I love to play baseball, basketball and football. Favorite sports teams…let's see, New York Mets, Los Angeles Lakers, and New York Jets. Okay, I know the Mets Jets aren't the best out there, hey, that was the first game I ever went to. I don't hate the Yankees but I don't like them when it comes to baseball and New York Giants when it comes to football. I love sneakers, skateboarding and video games. Okay, so maybe I'm not your average girl. But I do still like dressing up, doing my nails and guys. It's Halloween again and I'm upstairs listening to Chris Brown's new F.A.M.E album. I, my little brother and my mother live alone. My father died a few years ago due to lung cancer. The idiot smoked 24/7. I have no respect for anyone that smokes; it just kills you faster than you're supposed to die. It's a shame really. Sometimes I just wish the person who created cigarettes and all the many other things that people smoke just never were created. It's all a waste of money and time….and life of course.
I get a text from my mother around 6 'o' clock telling me to come outside and help her with the groceries. So that was what she was doing for so long outside. Why do I feel like it's going to be a bad night? I get outside and see my mother struggling with so many brown paper bags it's not even funny. I start into a fast-paced walk to go and help her and I run into a little kid dressed as Nemo from Finding Nemo. Luckily, he didn't fall. I hate Halloween as much as the next person, but I have to admit, these little kids look really cute in there little costumes. I reach over and grab the bags from my mother and I see her smile. I love how happy she is everyday even though she truly isn't happy at all. She does so much to help us. I want to make her proud she brought me into this world. We struggle to get in the house, arms loaded with brown paper grocery bags and plastic bags hanging on our arms. When we finally got everything in safe and sound; I got a peak at the various bags we brought in. It looked like we were going to have a Halloween party. It's time to escape.
"Umm...mom, I think I have to go do something." I say, hoping that she doesn't catch me in this lie. I start to walk when I have the sudden urge to look back. I see my mother sitting on the chair near the dining table just looking at me with those eyes. The eyes of a mother that would like her daughter to cooperate with her once in a while.
Curse me and my responsibilities. Now I need to go walk back and say sorry and hope I can survive this party. Damn.
I shove my hands into my pockets and go walk back to my mother. I sit down right next to her and just keep my head down. I feel bad enough as it is saying everything. I know I'm going to regret this night. Oh well, anything to keep my mother happy. I take a deep breath and lean over to grab my mothers' hand in mine. "Come on now, mom. Let's get this house ready for a party!" I sounded excited outside; inside I was dying...slowly.
I start unpacking the munchies onto the countertops and get out the plastic spoons, forks, plates and cups. We get everything ready within an hour. Damn I was tired after that. "Hun, go get ready. The party starts in an hour. It's seven 'o' clock. Ugh." I go upstairs take a quick shower and change into my black skinnies and this top I haven't found in ages. I went to a concert and I got a Devil Wears Prada t-shirt. I remember I was mad hype when I got it. Damn. Good times, good times. I dry my hair and curl it…took me under an hour. Mad proud. I got my chain and lace my black combat boots up. Just putting on the final touches; eye liner, lip gloss, few bracelets, my grandmother's chain and my ring to complete this outfit. I never go anywhere without my ring and my grandmother's chain. I feel naked without them. I take one last look in the mirror. I think I did a pretty decent job for a girl who doesn't want to go to a party. I grab my iPod and just as I am about to leave the room I remember it's a masquerade party. I grab my mask and trace my fingers over the lining. It was black velvet and red lining on the edges; gorgeous and just my style. I put it on and my silver hoop earrings and go downstairs.
I go downstairs and catch a glimpse of my mother stunning. She has on a strapless black dress fitted in all the right places with silver stilettos and a pair of silver hoops. She looked out of this world. The bell rang and my mom scooted me to go get the door. I thought I was part of the party, not the door opener person. I don't have a big vocabulary so I don't really know what that person would be called exactly. I open the door and see a crowd waiting outside. Some of them look like whores and others look descent. I see one dressed like Miley Cyrus in that 'Party in the USA' music video. WHORE! But anyways, no one I know. I've seen most of these people at school. I close the door and start walking away from it.
A few feet away and the door get knocked again. I swear this person who is on the other side was waiting for me to walk away to knock on it again to piss me off. I go open the door and see this…mystery guy in the door separating him from the inside of my house and the streets of Brooklyn. Tall, dark and handsome. He had on a pair of black skinnies, a black button down and a pair of black converse. He had a black leather necklace with a shark tooth on it…interesting. And that smile was just…what am I saying?
Death by Mother
I was having second thoughts about letting this guy into my house. But then my brother Tyler came to the door acting like a new person. This bum is 17 years old and in his junior year of high school. Let's just keep it at this. People should not slack off freshman year. Not one of the best ideas if you want to graduate on time. My brother is the type to do great in school and when it comes to making right choices, he always picks the bad one. But to be honest, I love him. He always knows what to do to make me smile and I feel protected under his arms. He pushes me aside and gladly lets this stranger into our living room. I'm looking at him in disbelief. He closes the door and pokes me in the stomach. He leans over and whispers in my ear, "Looks like this guy is going to be your next best friend…or only friend as I see it. I invited him. Have fun. I'm going back upstairs to play MW3." He smirks and leaves to go upstairs.
I am going to kill him once this party is done. I swear. But he was pretty cute. I am going to get myself killed by this guy. When I turn around to face the party, I see him glancing at a bunch of photographs on the wall. I know exactly which ones he had his eye on. Shit! I run over to him and hide the photographs with my arms and body…or so that was what I planned. I ended up tripping on the carpet and falling onto the floor. Luckily, I fell and no one saw…except the whole party. Great, wonder how much better this party can get? I'm about to get up when I see a hand come out for me. The stranger has his hand out to help me. Guess chivalry still exists til this day. I let him help me up and I dust off my jeans. After I got up I see him still in front of me.
I take my Beats of my ears and say, "Thank you stranger." I put my headphones back on my ears and start to walk away when I feel someone grab my wrist. I look back and see the stranger holding my wrist. I think I am about to get raped. I'm going to go all ninja on him. Oh yeah! He lets go and the next thing that comes out of his mouth is something I don't hear regularly from a guy…especially guys from my school.
"I'm sorry to have grabbed you wrist but I would like to return this to you. You seem to have dropped your bracelet." Stranger guy holds up a gold bracelet I ALWAYS wear. The bracelet is the last thing I have of my aunt. She died of cancer. People seriously need to find a cure to that soon. People I love are dying. Hello, when the president gets cancer, watch them find a cure quicker. I used to be close to my aunt more than anyone else in the world. When my brother was 6 he started smoking so I didn't really hang around him much. I got used to it growing up around him. Truthfully, I don't think I would be alive if it weren't for my mother, my brother and her. I notice that he still has my bracelet in his hands and is waiting to return it. I am such an idiot. I go into my own little world a lot these days.
"Thank you again. You really don't know what I would have done if I lost this. It was my aunts'. I owe you big time." I hug him not knowing what the heck I'm doing. I'm hugging a complete stranger. I have a death wish. I am going to let killed one of these days doing this. "Oh sorry, I don't know what has gotten into me. I just…it just…this…I'm sorry." I take a few steps back and just stand there with my head down in embarrassment. I am such an idiot. I barely know him and…damn. I hear a few laughs and look up at him. He is laughing at me. I knew he was like all the others; mean, cruel, and a complete utter jerk. He just has that show that most people have. You act like you're so nice at first and then all of a sudden you turn into the devil. I've seen it too often to not recognize it in someone's personality.
"Hey, it's okay. I understand completely. I have my mothers' necklace on me. If I don't have it I feel like I am nude. Sorry…that may seem strange but it is true. I can't go anywhere without it. Here, this is it." He pulls out a diamond necklace with a moon-shaped ruby in it. It was gorgeous. My hand automatically went for that necklace but he reacted by pulling it away. Okay, strange.
He held the necklace in his hand but holding it completely in his hand; the pendant and the chain. "I'm sorry; I don't let anyone touch this. It's the only thing I have left of my mother. It's really precious to me. She died a few years ago from…from...an overdose. Her husband, my father, left her for some other woman and left me and her alone to survive on our own. I hate that man. He was the reason for her death and he should be put into jail for it. But soon, he, himself died of a car accident. Oh, I'm sorry. I just get so emotional when I talk about her. She…anyways; my name is Carlos but my friends call me CJ." He has his hands out for a warm welcome. I shake his hand and give him a proper welcome to New York. He seems like a real gentleman. I owe it to Tinkle Toes for inviting him. Oh I forgot to mention, I call Tyler Tinkle Toes because whenever he smokes or gets high he acts like he is a little girl. Tinkle Toes just suits him well…and it annoys the shit out of him.
"Welcome to New York, Carlos. Oops, CJ. I hope you feel right at home here." I feel really comfortable around him. Why is that? I am never this comfortable like this with anyone…except my mother and brother. Well, hope I get to see this dashing new friend around soon.
CJ laughs and he lifts my arm to put the bracelet back on. "You know what, I told you my name but I never found out yours. Mind telling a new friend what your name is? Or I could call you stranger. That could be your new name if you want." He laughed a little. I start cracking up. I CALLED HIM THAT BEFORE I KNEW HIM! This was an epic moment. He read my mind…or he probably heard me calling him a stranger to Tinkle Toes. Damn, I'm in some deep shit if he heard that. Whatever.
"Oh sorry, my name is Alexandra. But I really don't know my last name. I'm sort of adopted…so…yeah." I hate bringing that up in a conversation. That is the only reason I don't like introducing myself. I know Tyler is my step-brother and mom is well…you get the point. But yeah, it's not one of the best ways I like to start a conversation. I feel uncomfortable and start rubbing my neck with my hand. It's one of my habits I caught from Tyler.
Carlos looks at me with this smile that would light a million and one rooms up. "Hey, no need to be down…even though you are short. Just look at the bright side, you have a really nice brother and a really nice mother who would do this much for you. They care enough to keep you happy and would do anything for your best interest and your future. Be thankful you have people who love and care for you in your life…" He reaches for my hand and kisses it. "…and, you, my love, have a lot of people that love and care about you." He gently lets my hand fall back to my side. This must be a dream. I am in heaven. I feel as if I am about to cry…and just my luck…tears start to form in my eyes. No one has ever said something with such a deep meaning. He made life just a little more worth living…well not him….his words." He wipes the tear from my eye. "I don't want to see a single tear in your eyes, hun. Understand?" I just go and hug him. I just met Carlos but I am really glad I met him now rather than later in life. He hugs me back and I feel as if I and he are the only ones in that room. Just me and him. We stay like that for a few more minutes and I slowly let go.
"Thank you. No one has ever said that to me. I...thank you." I just had to get that out. That meant a lot to me. His words will stay with my until death. I look up at him with teary eyes and wipe them away. My dream came true. I take his hand and lead him upstairs to show him something nobody has ever seen, not even Tinkle Toes…my photography studio. We go into a room only I have the key to. I unclip my necklace and open the door with the key and slip my necklace back on. I lead him into the room excited as ever. No one has stepped into this room since I got here except me. I lead him inside and lock the door to a world of my own. Behind that door was my own world I could always escape to.
I open the door and close it behind me once we both are inside. I inhale the scent. Something about this room makes me feel just right. I go off onto my own world while this new friend roams around looking at my pieces of work and examines them. Stopping at one picture he touches it. I go over to see which photograph he is glaring at. As I get closer and closer I notice which one he was exactly looking at. I took this picture when I was around ten-years-old. It was a picture of me and my father on the beach watching a sunset. . This photograph was one of the closest thing to me, reminding me of my father. I may not have known him much but this photograph reminds me of one day I will always remember for the rest of my life. That was day, it was about 107 degrees and it was really hot. I was bothering my dad all day to take us somewhere so I could use my new camera. My birthday just passed and he bought me my first camera. I was really excited to use it and he finally gave in. he told us to get ready but he wouldn't tell us where we were going.
Obviously, me being ten, I fell asleep in the car. When I woke up, the sun hit my eyes and it felt like I was blinded by a thousand suns. I closed my eyes and just waited until the sky goes back to normal. The sun DEFINITELY wasn't like that that morning. When we got out of the car, we arrived at the beach. I took my camera and took so many photographs that my hands started hurting by the end of the day. I really liked how by the end I and my dad were closer than we ever were. That picture was the only thing I think I have left of my father. It's like this; I love him and I hate him at the same time. I come back into the real world and notice him looking from that picture to me and back again.
"Hey, what's up? Anything wrong? Don't like my work?" I asked because I was really starting to wonder why he was glaring from me to the picture, and vice versa.
"No. No. No. I love your work. It's like I traveled inside of you and I am looking at the world from your eyes; from your point of view. The way you capture pictures is amazing. Even my artwork can't compare to this. This work looks like it has a dark history behind it though; like it's been through a lot. It looks like the picture has fallen apart…separated slowly and then, plop, dead. Nothing remained after that. This picture has a real story behind it. I can just tell." That's all he said. After that…nothing.
After that we remained silent and the air went cold. It was like a Death came and claimed the room as its own. I would have done anything to get out of that room or at least change the atmosphere. He went over to a picture of my brother after a stupid car accident and whenever I look at the picture it brings back all those memories. Those dark, back memories I want to forget but never seem to. Believe me, I've tried. It doesn't leave your system for good. It's always there…haunting you, reminding you of your past. CJ goes over to the picture and glances at it and then back to me several times. I guess he could tell, somehow, that I was about to break down all of a sudden he comes over and hugs me.
He's like one of those people, who I have just met but I feel like I have known them for my whole life. We stay like that for a few minutes and he leads me out of the room, thinking that would be the best for now. I turn around, take one last look for tonight and lock the room. I lean against the door and just close my eyes. That memory of my brother still hurts…a lot. I was about 14 when this happened. My brother and I were coming back from a Halloween party and it was around 3 in the morning. He was drunk and I was a little drunk myself. We had the radio on max and we weren't exactly paying much attention to the road, which probably was our biggest mistake. We were fighting over the radio station and we didn't see a truck coming from the opposite side. I felt the lights of the trucks' headlights and looked up. I screamed at my brother to try and control the car. By the time my brothers' eyes were on the road, it was too late to save anyone.
I was safe but he was in a bad condition. He didn't have his seatbelt on so that added to the accident. I was perfectly safe because I was still in my senses, my brother, on the other hand, couldn't even sit properly in the drivers' seat. I quickly called 911 and my mother. I had cried all throughout it all but I held my brothers' hand through it all. He was bleeding in his head and he looked like he was about to slip away from me right there but one thing I learned in health class. I didn't let him go to sleep that easily. I kept annoying him and it hurt me seeing him like that. Finally the police, ambulance and my mother came. She came rushing over to Tyler but the doctors didn't let her near Tyler. We got Tyler to the hospital and he was taken care off. I was taken home and I stayed up that whole night waiting for Tyler. He never came home that night. I tried and tried to get out of going to school that day but it didn't work. I went to school and when I got back home my mother was crying. She said that Tyler went into a coma last night. I walked to the stairs and ran up to my room. I cried my eyes out and cried myself to sleep. The next morning my mother didn't even bother to get me to wake up for school. It was very clear I didn't want to go to school and she wasn't planning on going to work either.
A few weeks later, we went to see my brother. We got news that he woke from the coma and he was doing a little better. I went to the store and bought as many flowers I could hold, a bunch of his favorite chocolate/candy and the biggest teddy bear I could find for him. I guess I overdid it, but I was really happy at the time I bought everything. You could tell how happy I was when I got the news when I went to that extent. I admit, when I went in, my hands were full and it looked like I was freaking crazy buying all those things. But it made my brother laugh when I came into the room. He thought it was some psycho that came into the room that robbed a Toys 'R' Us or something. But when I dropped everything to the floor and got back up Tyler had that smile on his face that I knew meant he was actually doing better, not that oh-I-am-going-to-avoid-making-her-worry face that he can pull off so well. That was the last time I saw him smile like that because a few weeks later my father died.
Seeing your own brother almost die before your eyes and seeing your father die right in front of you changes your perspective of the world. You learn to live life with a different outlook on life and live it with different emotions than others. The way I see it, if people you care about are on the verge of dying, what's the point of smiling? I had stopped smiling, truly smiling a while back. I can pull off a fake smile as much as the next guy, I have had years of experience perfecting it. But what's done is done. All I know now is that I haven't smiled in three years. Sounds like a lot...it's really not. You get used to it. That memory will never go away. I've tried everything in my will to forget it but I never seem to be able to. I don't think I ever can.
I feel like I'm about to break down. I rush past CJ and run towards my room. He calls me a few times but I just ignore him. I hate people seeing me cry. I feel weak and I don't want people worrying about me. I am about to turn the knob on my door when I feel a hand on my shoulder and I just brush it off. I don't want to be bothered. I hear no voice. I turn the knob and slap the door. I hear a scream from the outside and look back behind me towards the door. I see my brother holding his hand cussing knees on the floor. Oops, I slammed the door on his hand. Shit. He's going to kill me now. I'm done. I went over to him and held his hand blowing on it. I really don't know what that does to help your hand. I really don't. Tyler looks up at me and puts on one of his stupid smiles that say 'I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to check up on you' looks. He had a smile on his face and I just remembered that day he woke from the coma. The tears fell out of my eyes and I couldn't control it. I just fell next to him and he held me close to his chest asking me over and over what happened.
When I didn't say anything he guessed what was wrong. "Was it that guy that I let in earlier this night? I'm going to kill him. What the hell did he do to you Alex? Tell me!" Tyler never gets this angry unless I'm really hurt. He never relies on violence unless it involves me. He gives me one last look and starts to head out of the room in rage. I yell at Tyler to come back and don't leave my side. I really needed him right then. Through the night he was with me. We moved from my floor to my bed. Well, he carried me. I felt weak after the tears I let go. I was in Tyler's lap all night and I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later and he was brushing my hair over and over again. I heard him talking to someone and I recognize the voice from somewhere. I just can't remember off the top of my head. Who is he?
