I had the craziest idea for seven one-shots. One for each season. It's absolutely ridiculously meaningless. But...

I couldn't remember the name of a House episode I was thinking of and looking at the list of episodes I was thinking.. this will make a great story.

And that's how I got here. Lol.

Huddy because... does it really need a reason?

Expect crazy and random twists and turns and things that shouldn't make sense, but I'm gonna make it make sense. It's like a comical Soap Opera. Oxymoron? Anyway...

It has a nice chance to get M-rated, so M to start.

It is nowhere near canon. Very AU. House and Cuddy mention every episode between the pilot and Moving On. Can you spot them all?

Disclaimer

Huddy On A Plane

"Why were you in the cock pit?" Cuddy asks House after she watched him come through the door labeled employees only.

"I had to tell the pilot he was flying like an asshole." House replies as he sits in his seat. Cuddy had told him the plane ride was making her feel queasy and House took it upon himself to correct that. Cuddy is two months pregnant... with House's seed.

Cuddy resumes the position she was in before House left to tell the pilot off. She lays almost in the fetal position. Her head is on House's lap, her feet curled behind her on her own seat and facing away from House. One of his hands is running through her hair and the other one joins her hand on her two-month pregnant belly.

House stops the flight attendant and asks her for crackers and seven-up for Cuddy and a glass of wine for himself. She rolls her eyes but is glad he didn't ask for hard liquor. She doesn't need a drunk House on an airplane.

"How do you feel about your impending paternity?" She asks him. She shifts so that she is facing him now.

"Occam's Razor." House says nonchalantly, knowing he is going to have to further explain himself. Cuddy scrunches up her face. She is hoping he is as excited as she.

"What is the simplest explanation?"

He shrugs, again, nonchalantly. "The same way you feel about maternity. Simply, I know your excited and I'm excited too. So you can take that 'damned if you do' look off your profile." He says continuing to run his fingers through her hair.

"Well why didn't you just say that in the first place. We don't have to go through the Socratic Method every time we talk to each other." Cuddy says in frustration as she turns back away from him. She turns her attention to the TV. Some boring movie ending credits is playing on the screen. Cuddy reads them with nothing else to do.

"What does hi-fi stand for?" She asks as she sees it pop up on the screen.

"High fidelity." He answers. He's staring at her. And she knows it. She chooses to ignore him. The flight attendant comes over and hands House a tray of the things he asked for. He takes a quick sip of his wine and it is immediately followed by a sour face from him.

"What the hell is this poison?" He hands the flight attendant back the glass and turns to Cuddy. She is now sitting up-right in her chair. "If I'm ever dying and that's the cure; I want a DNR."

"I'd kill you before you'd get the chance to ask for a DNR." Cuddy turns and smiles maniacally at him.

"With both of our histories; it's possible to happen." House thinks aloud. "On better thought, you wouldn't kill the father of your child, would you?" The look on Cuddy's face turns serious.

"Thank you."

"For what?" House asks in confusion.

"For choosing to detox for your child." She places a hand on his scruffy cheek. House sees the tears in her eyes as they threatened to fall. House rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Don't get all hormonal on me." He says. He goes to place his hand over hers but she pulls away. She holds her face in her hands as she begins to silently sob. He doesn't even know why she is crying. Neither does she.

"Cuddy..." He reaches over and places his hand on her shoulder.

"You chose the simple sports medicine over the dangerous narcotics. On your own. I cursed myself, Stacy and God for putting you through so much pain. And it's your own lack of self control that put you through that pain." That made House grimace. That hurt. He buries that feeling and tries not to be pissed off by her comment. He tries to make light of the situation.

"I had to choose the narcotic: mob rules." Cuddy finally looks at House. He lightly smiles. "It wouldn't of been right. It would have been heavy baggage to not at least try to be the perfect role model for my child."

"Well you know what they say about babies and bathwater." Cuddy says her mood changing quickly back to jolly.

House squints as if thinking. "That idiom doesn't apply in this situation."

"Really?" Cuddy thinks about it for a while. "It should." Cuddy goes back to her initial position on House's lap. He resumes to run his finger through her hair.

"How many kids do you plan on us having?" She asks after a short silence. House scoffs and quickly answers.

"One."

Cuddy pouts. "I would have loved to have two or three." She shifts, so now she's looking straight up.

"Love hurts." House looks down into her eyes. "Our life is three stories. Your story is written; my story is written. Together, we will write his story until he is old enough to learn how to write." He says sweetly as he places his hand on her abdomen. "In which, it will be a lot of scribbles until he can actually write in full sentences."

Cuddy laughs. "Or she."

"Or she." House says.

'Please turn your seats in the up-right position and put your seat belts on the plane is ready to land.'

Cuddy sits up and they both put their seat belts back on. Cuddy reaches over and interlock her left hand with his right. Cuddy looks out the window as the plane nears Paris-Charles de Gaulle Airport, just outside of Paris, France. House follows her gaze.

He runs the fingers of his right hand over her brand new wedding band on her left hand. He brings her hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on the ring. She looks at him, lovingly and he smiles at her before speaking.

"Honeymoon time."

Fluffy enough? Funny enough? Not enough Drama? Too much Drama? Should I continue? What do you think? Review please!