A/N: This revolves around my 'Child of the Wind, Son of the Fire AU'. You might want to read that one first. (And also 'The Worst (Best) Hokage' first because a lot of thing regarding Obito is explained in that one.) Have fun immersing yourself in my self-inflicted, stress-induced cracky writing.
Here's the thing.
Uchiha Izuna is a romantic.
Sure, his brash un-romantic flailing elder brother may make that statement debatable but there were lots of things that differ him and Madara.
Izuna is pleasingly handsome, Madara is a mess. (Insert gigantic red stamp of approval by the Hokage right here please because this is THE truth—wait, what did Minato meant by Madara being a hot mess? Heathen.)
Izuna could charm most women with the only exception to strong women related to Senju (insert an exaggerated accusing squint towards Senju Touka and Tsunade here) while Madara flailed in front of any romantic advances like the heathen and shame of the family he was.
Izuna has a good eye for romance—he was able to detect compatible couples at the first interaction—while Madara took years of working together, decades of plotting scheme of evil, another one or two decades of being dead and one reanimation and resurrection later to finally realise that he indeed was madly and undeniably in love with Senju Tobirama.
Izuna didn't even know how he could even be related to Madara. That un-romantic heathen.
'My only love sprung from my only hate' his ass.
Being stuck as a ghost beside his un-romantic elder brother was Izuna's personal hell. It was so torturous that Izuna would've killed himself if he wasn't already dead.
To haunt Tobirama as a revenge was not even remotely fun because despite not knowing who was the ghost that haunted him, Tobirama was able to detect Izuna's general presence.
Was the Nidaime afraid at the idea of being haunted? Ha! As if.
The little brat of a Senju used Izuna's spectral apparition as a target practice instead.
"I don't know who you are and why you're haunting me, but now that you're at it, stay still."
The Senju has said that, back then when Izuna tried to haunt him during the Nidaime's first life before proceeding to use Izuna's ghostly shadow as a target practice.
Fifty points if the crumpled paper went through the head, twenty-five points if it went through the chest, ten points if it went through the stomach and a combo worth a hundred points if Tobirama could throw the crumpled papers through the head, stomach and chest simultaneously.
Izuna wondered if this was the reason Hashirama kicked Tobirama and his weird experiments out to the very outskirts of the newly-formed village. The little shit was annoying as hell when he was stressed over his creations.
Izuna wanted to give the biggest 'Fuck You' to Tobirama but then backtracked because it was Madara's job to complete that deed, and ew, he really did not want to fuck the Senju, thank-you-very-much. Madara was the one who has questionable taste, not this amazing Uchiha Izuna.
One month later, Izuna left the Senju to haunt Madara (again) because he was fed up being Tobirama's stress-relief entertainment. Tobirama was lucky that Izuna wasn't a particularly vengeful ghost. Izuna saw no benefit in cursing the annoying Senju or anything. He just wanted to haunt Tobirama so that the annoying Senju would finally acknowledge his budding crush on Madara before the flailing heathen fell deep into the hatred curse and started yet another drama.
(Sometimes, Izuna regretted that he gave up too early. He could've stopped the whole mess of the epic Valley of the End fight. He could've stopped Madara's insanity that led the heathen to manipulate their own kin to do his evil bidding of putting everyone in an eternal genjutsu. He could've stopped all of these mishaps if only he managed to haunt the romantically constipated duo to accept their love.)
See? Even in his death, Uchiha Izuna was a romantic and an aspiring cupid. People should build a shrine for him. He would've blessed all compatible lovers that pray to him.
Thus, it was his destiny that after bearing the privilege to be the lucky witness of a romantic wedding on the day he was reanimated as a tool to destroy Konoha, he was then revived in blood and flesh to assume his duties matching these rambunctious hopeless un-romantic failures known as Konoha's shinobi.
Here are the tales of Konoha's Epic Romance.
(As told by Uchiha Izuna)
A/N: This piece came to the written form because I'm currently running away from reality and has cast a genjutsu upon myself, thus creating this version of romantic Izuna who happens to wear a 'SHIPPER' badge proudly over his soul. Originally, I just want to write about Kakashi and Obito as told by Izuna, but then my muse whispered to me that my Konoha!Gaara AU has lots of ships to be explore.
And I hate my muse for even suggesting Izuna's eventual partner, and for making me to even consider it. Pretty sure IzunaX? will be a crack ship. Blegh.
Like the original intention, KakashiXObito will be up as the first tale next. R&& please?
P/S: Izuna as Love God 2020, FTW.
