Author's note: um yeah. I'm quite pleased with this. Please let me know
what you think. The review button is yer friend! *Mwa* Love's ya! It's got
a happy ending. well unless you like Alex or Mueller.
Disclaimer: I don't know who they belong to but it isn't me.
//Dear Die-Ary, Wow, I sound like a girl writing that. Guys aren't supposed to keep diaries. Oh well, I needed to vent and talk to someone so this'll have to do since I can't use e-mail or chat or that kind of stuff online. My boyfriend would beat me if he ever caught me in a chat room or using e- mail. Hell, he'd beat me if he found out about this. But, hopefully he won't. I'm good at computers so I can just erase any traces of coming to this site. Heh heh. Venting, yes that's what I wanted to do. So here goes. My boyfriend's a fucking asshole. And yes I'm gay. If it bothers you, shove off. I get enough shit about that already. God, I hate Alex sometimes. but. he's the only one who wanted me. No body else ever seemed to care whether I lived or died, let alone pay any attention to me. They just called me a baka. Heh, guess they were right or I wouldn't be in this mess, ne? I know I should leave or something, but there just isn't anywhere else to go. I haven't talked to any of my friends since the war ended. Alex won't let me. Although. Now that I think of it, they haven't tried to contact me either, mind you. And besides, I have no money. Need money to be able to get someplace. Now see why I stay? At least here I'm getting something. I'm not promised that anywhere else. They probably wouldn't recognize me anyway. I look nothing like how I did then. I still have my long hair, but it's black now. Alex likes it that way. It pleases him. Damn I hate being so needy. I never used to be. No wait that wasn't true. I always clung on to people who didn't want me around. Damn he was a cold sonofabitch. but I loved him anyway. Ugh, I told myself I wouldn't talk about him. That was so long ago, almost a lifetime ago. I wonder how he is. Damn! Alex just got home. I can hear him downstairs calling for his whore. Damn, that means he wants sex. I feel so cheap. I never wanted to give him my virginity. Well I never did, did I? He took it without my consent. God, I feel so dirty. Shit! It isn't taking him as long as it usually does to figure out I'm not downstairs. He must not be as drunk as he usually is. Which means he doesn't intend to pass out any time soon and leave me with any peace. Whelp, time to go be a damned slave. I hate my life. Maybe I'll just end it.//
Duo quickly posted the entry and got off the computer and scurried into his room moments before he hears heavy footfalls on the top of the landing of the stairs.
"You damned bitch! Where are you?!" Alex Mueller snarled as he stormed down the hall. He growled when Duo timidly opened his door and took a small step into the hallway. "What the hell took you so long?! Get over here!" He yanked Duo onto his knees by his braid as soon as he was near enough, blatantly ignoring the pained whimpers his boyfriend made. He fumbled drunkenly with the zipper as he freed himself from his pants and forced himself into Duo's hot but resistant mouth. There was a sickening crack as Mueller's knuckles connected with the boy's cheek. Alex took advantage of Duo's startled cry, forcing the ex-poilot to take him in to the hilt. He sneered when he was met with no resistance this time. The boy learned fast, but quickly forgot. Duo was his to use any way he saw fit. "It would be wise of you to remember your place, whore," Alex growled, throwing his head back as Duo began to bob his head up and down his length. Duo choked as his boyfriend released his seed, somehow managing to swallow every drop. He didn't want to get even further onto Alex's bad side when he was drunk, let alone when he was sober. He made a soft pained squeak as Alex kicked him back into the bedroom and stalked off back downstairs. Apparently he had preformed well. for now. He wouldn't be so lucky that night. Alex was sure to want more and would not be satisfied with a simple blow job no matter how good it was.
Duo perched carefully on the chair. His ass was sore. Alex had done a number on him the night before. He had cried out of pain for hours before his body finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. That had only been five hours ago. He sighed as he typed in his password to his diary. Alex wouldn't be home for a few hours so it was safe to update his live journal. He blinked when the screen displayed that he had a waiting message. He looked around cautious just to make sure it really was safe and that this wasn't some joke. He clicked on the link, pulling up the message. He didn't recognize who it was from, which he supposed was a good thing. If any of his friends knew how weak he had become, they'd all laugh. Especially WuFei. He'd have a field day with how much Duo resembled a weak onna. Alex made him dress like the whore he said he was. Skirt, fishnets, collar, you name it. He tugged down on the short skirt, self consciously. He wanted his priest's attire back. He shook his head trying to focus, whisps of soft black hair falling into his pale face making him look ethereal. He sighed sadly as he scrolled down to the top of the message.
//I read your entry. Yeah, I'm sure that was obvious. I'd like to help. I'll ruin him. No one deserves what you're going through. I'll transfer the money into an account for you. Then you can go wherever you would like.//
Heero glared at the glowing screen. He couldn't believe people could be so cruel. The boy sounded young. This Alex did not. H e should know better. Heero knew what it was like to be alone. but it had been his choice to be alone. He had pushed Duo away believing that he hadn't needed anyone. HE was wrong. Now that the war was over he needed Duo more than anything. He had tried to find him a few months after the war had ended, but he had disappeared without a trace. There had been no path to follow. Yes, he knew what it was like to be alone and he had no one to blame but himself. The boy's friends didn't deserve him either. They just took him for granted. Heero wondered how those friends would react if they knew that their "baka" was being abused and raped and slowly dying from the inside out.
//No! You can't! Just forget I ever said anything! He'll kill me before you can do anything! I don't want you involved. I don't want to put anyone in danger. I. I just wanted a friend, someone to talk to. I wasn't planning on changing anything. This is as good as it will get for me. Please. I'm begging you to stay out of this. Promise me you'll stay out of this.//
Duo sat terrified in front of the screen. He hadn't expected someone to offer to do anything to help him. He hadn't expected anyone to even read the entry. He waited numbly for the reply. He was sure it would come. He wasn't sure how he knew that it would only that it would.
"Trowa! Come here for a minute!" Heero yelled down the stairs for his friend. He pointed to the chair in front of his laptop indicating what he wanted Trowa to do.
Trawa sat, keeping a cautious emerald eye on the Japanese.
"I want you to type and send something for me," Heero nodded to himself as he watched the Latin boy turn in the chair to face the screen, hands poised above the keys. "Alright. I promise I won't do anything." he paused as Trowa finished typing. "Now send it."
The Latin shrugged and did as he was asked. This must be important to Heero or else he wouldn't have asked him to do this. He wondered vaguely what it was that he was promising not to get involved in. He knew this was Heero's way of not lying to whomever it was and giving him the freedom to do as he wished. Trowa had been the one to promise to stay out of it and he would. But Heero wouldn't.
"Thanks Trowa," Heero smiled ever so slightly, shocking the tall boy.
"Any time," Trowa nodded, taking this as his cue to leave Heero up to do whatever it was that he had promised that he wouldn't.
Heero scowled a while later. He had been able to find out who Alex was. His full name was Alex Mueller and he now knew his home address, phone number, where he worked, and the placed he visited often. He was disgusted to see the large number of whore houses visited. He hadn't been able to find any information on the boyfriend, let alone any information that there truly was one. So not only did Mueller take the boy against his will and abuse him, he cheated on the boy. He spent the next few minutes setting up a program that would slowly transfer all the funds in Alex's account into a separate one for the raven haired boy. It would take a couple weeks for the program to deplete the entirety of the account into the new one and on the last day, Heero was ready and waiting. He knew Alex would be leaving the club soon. He had seen him enter it with a beautiful raven haired woman on his arm, but she hadn't seemed too eager to be at his side. She seemed to want to be somewhere else, anywhere but with him, not that Heero blamed the girl. She wore most of her hair up in a hasty bun secured with black chopsticks. He watched as Alex emerged with the same girl. Quite obviously not sober. The girl stood at his side sadly, keeping the man from toppling over onto his face. It appeared as though that idea had been flitting through her head a time or two as she faltered, loosening her grip slightly only to be barked at by the drunken form next to her not to let go. The soldier watched as Alex suddenly shoved the girl into an alley and against the wall. The girl. no wait. That was a male's voice. This must be the boyfriend. Heero growled low in his throat as the boy screamed and pleaded with Mueller to stop, that he'd had enough. He slowly raised his gun, as Mueller slapped the boy hard across his cheek, growling that it would be over when he said it was over and no sooner. He fired, the silencer muffling the sound as Mueller forced his tongue down the crying boy's throat. He watched satisfied as the man slumped against the boy, all life drained out of him.
Duo's eyes widened in horror and he shoved the man away from him. He turned to the side doubling over, using the wall for support and vomited.
"Are you going to be all right?" Heero approached the boy, gently laying a hand on the beautiful creature's back.
"Wh-why'd you do that?" Duo stuttered, bringing his free hand up to wipe his mouth with the back of it and slowly stood up.
"Because he was abusing you and didn't care."
Duo stiffened, recognizing the voice. It was Heero's Heero had found him. His heart soared and just as quickly it plummeted. Heero had found him like this. "How-how did you know? I never told anyone." the Diary! Oh gods! It had been Heero!
"Don't you remember your Diary?" Heero smiled gently, wishing the beauty would turn around so he could see him.
"You? I told you not to." Duo whimpered pathetically. What did it matter? Heero would find out soon enough it was him. He was already pathetic. It wouldn't make much difference if he continued to act that way. He was already humiliated.
"I had a friend of mine promise in the message. And he kept his word. He didn't get involved, but I did. I set up an account for you with Mueller's funds. You're rather wealthy. Please. Tell me your na-" Heero broke off as the boy turned to face him. He knew that face. It haunted his dreams and his memories. "Duo," he breathed softly.
"Oh gods. I can't believe I told you of all people all of that!" Duo wailed, trying to run.
Heero deftly caught his wrist, easily keeping the boy where he stood. "Duo. I. I wish I had known. gods, Duo, it's nothing to be ashamed of. but why? Why didn't you do the hacking for yourself? Why did you choose him?"
"Because I wanted to die Heero." Duo looked his best friend in the eyes and somehow found the courage to continue. "No one else wanted me. he did. I took what I could get," Duo shrugged looking down at the back of Mueller's head.
"You once told me that you never lie."
"I don't," Duo jerked his head up and glared. Heero should know him better. Why was he accusing him of lying?
"But you did. I wanted you. I still do."
"Wh-what?!" Duo's mouth dropped open in shock.
"I've always wanted you Duo. Always," Heero smiled as he stepped over Mueller and gave Duo the sweetest kiss he had ever received.
Disclaimer: I don't know who they belong to but it isn't me.
//Dear Die-Ary, Wow, I sound like a girl writing that. Guys aren't supposed to keep diaries. Oh well, I needed to vent and talk to someone so this'll have to do since I can't use e-mail or chat or that kind of stuff online. My boyfriend would beat me if he ever caught me in a chat room or using e- mail. Hell, he'd beat me if he found out about this. But, hopefully he won't. I'm good at computers so I can just erase any traces of coming to this site. Heh heh. Venting, yes that's what I wanted to do. So here goes. My boyfriend's a fucking asshole. And yes I'm gay. If it bothers you, shove off. I get enough shit about that already. God, I hate Alex sometimes. but. he's the only one who wanted me. No body else ever seemed to care whether I lived or died, let alone pay any attention to me. They just called me a baka. Heh, guess they were right or I wouldn't be in this mess, ne? I know I should leave or something, but there just isn't anywhere else to go. I haven't talked to any of my friends since the war ended. Alex won't let me. Although. Now that I think of it, they haven't tried to contact me either, mind you. And besides, I have no money. Need money to be able to get someplace. Now see why I stay? At least here I'm getting something. I'm not promised that anywhere else. They probably wouldn't recognize me anyway. I look nothing like how I did then. I still have my long hair, but it's black now. Alex likes it that way. It pleases him. Damn I hate being so needy. I never used to be. No wait that wasn't true. I always clung on to people who didn't want me around. Damn he was a cold sonofabitch. but I loved him anyway. Ugh, I told myself I wouldn't talk about him. That was so long ago, almost a lifetime ago. I wonder how he is. Damn! Alex just got home. I can hear him downstairs calling for his whore. Damn, that means he wants sex. I feel so cheap. I never wanted to give him my virginity. Well I never did, did I? He took it without my consent. God, I feel so dirty. Shit! It isn't taking him as long as it usually does to figure out I'm not downstairs. He must not be as drunk as he usually is. Which means he doesn't intend to pass out any time soon and leave me with any peace. Whelp, time to go be a damned slave. I hate my life. Maybe I'll just end it.//
Duo quickly posted the entry and got off the computer and scurried into his room moments before he hears heavy footfalls on the top of the landing of the stairs.
"You damned bitch! Where are you?!" Alex Mueller snarled as he stormed down the hall. He growled when Duo timidly opened his door and took a small step into the hallway. "What the hell took you so long?! Get over here!" He yanked Duo onto his knees by his braid as soon as he was near enough, blatantly ignoring the pained whimpers his boyfriend made. He fumbled drunkenly with the zipper as he freed himself from his pants and forced himself into Duo's hot but resistant mouth. There was a sickening crack as Mueller's knuckles connected with the boy's cheek. Alex took advantage of Duo's startled cry, forcing the ex-poilot to take him in to the hilt. He sneered when he was met with no resistance this time. The boy learned fast, but quickly forgot. Duo was his to use any way he saw fit. "It would be wise of you to remember your place, whore," Alex growled, throwing his head back as Duo began to bob his head up and down his length. Duo choked as his boyfriend released his seed, somehow managing to swallow every drop. He didn't want to get even further onto Alex's bad side when he was drunk, let alone when he was sober. He made a soft pained squeak as Alex kicked him back into the bedroom and stalked off back downstairs. Apparently he had preformed well. for now. He wouldn't be so lucky that night. Alex was sure to want more and would not be satisfied with a simple blow job no matter how good it was.
Duo perched carefully on the chair. His ass was sore. Alex had done a number on him the night before. He had cried out of pain for hours before his body finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. That had only been five hours ago. He sighed as he typed in his password to his diary. Alex wouldn't be home for a few hours so it was safe to update his live journal. He blinked when the screen displayed that he had a waiting message. He looked around cautious just to make sure it really was safe and that this wasn't some joke. He clicked on the link, pulling up the message. He didn't recognize who it was from, which he supposed was a good thing. If any of his friends knew how weak he had become, they'd all laugh. Especially WuFei. He'd have a field day with how much Duo resembled a weak onna. Alex made him dress like the whore he said he was. Skirt, fishnets, collar, you name it. He tugged down on the short skirt, self consciously. He wanted his priest's attire back. He shook his head trying to focus, whisps of soft black hair falling into his pale face making him look ethereal. He sighed sadly as he scrolled down to the top of the message.
//I read your entry. Yeah, I'm sure that was obvious. I'd like to help. I'll ruin him. No one deserves what you're going through. I'll transfer the money into an account for you. Then you can go wherever you would like.//
Heero glared at the glowing screen. He couldn't believe people could be so cruel. The boy sounded young. This Alex did not. H e should know better. Heero knew what it was like to be alone. but it had been his choice to be alone. He had pushed Duo away believing that he hadn't needed anyone. HE was wrong. Now that the war was over he needed Duo more than anything. He had tried to find him a few months after the war had ended, but he had disappeared without a trace. There had been no path to follow. Yes, he knew what it was like to be alone and he had no one to blame but himself. The boy's friends didn't deserve him either. They just took him for granted. Heero wondered how those friends would react if they knew that their "baka" was being abused and raped and slowly dying from the inside out.
//No! You can't! Just forget I ever said anything! He'll kill me before you can do anything! I don't want you involved. I don't want to put anyone in danger. I. I just wanted a friend, someone to talk to. I wasn't planning on changing anything. This is as good as it will get for me. Please. I'm begging you to stay out of this. Promise me you'll stay out of this.//
Duo sat terrified in front of the screen. He hadn't expected someone to offer to do anything to help him. He hadn't expected anyone to even read the entry. He waited numbly for the reply. He was sure it would come. He wasn't sure how he knew that it would only that it would.
"Trowa! Come here for a minute!" Heero yelled down the stairs for his friend. He pointed to the chair in front of his laptop indicating what he wanted Trowa to do.
Trawa sat, keeping a cautious emerald eye on the Japanese.
"I want you to type and send something for me," Heero nodded to himself as he watched the Latin boy turn in the chair to face the screen, hands poised above the keys. "Alright. I promise I won't do anything." he paused as Trowa finished typing. "Now send it."
The Latin shrugged and did as he was asked. This must be important to Heero or else he wouldn't have asked him to do this. He wondered vaguely what it was that he was promising not to get involved in. He knew this was Heero's way of not lying to whomever it was and giving him the freedom to do as he wished. Trowa had been the one to promise to stay out of it and he would. But Heero wouldn't.
"Thanks Trowa," Heero smiled ever so slightly, shocking the tall boy.
"Any time," Trowa nodded, taking this as his cue to leave Heero up to do whatever it was that he had promised that he wouldn't.
Heero scowled a while later. He had been able to find out who Alex was. His full name was Alex Mueller and he now knew his home address, phone number, where he worked, and the placed he visited often. He was disgusted to see the large number of whore houses visited. He hadn't been able to find any information on the boyfriend, let alone any information that there truly was one. So not only did Mueller take the boy against his will and abuse him, he cheated on the boy. He spent the next few minutes setting up a program that would slowly transfer all the funds in Alex's account into a separate one for the raven haired boy. It would take a couple weeks for the program to deplete the entirety of the account into the new one and on the last day, Heero was ready and waiting. He knew Alex would be leaving the club soon. He had seen him enter it with a beautiful raven haired woman on his arm, but she hadn't seemed too eager to be at his side. She seemed to want to be somewhere else, anywhere but with him, not that Heero blamed the girl. She wore most of her hair up in a hasty bun secured with black chopsticks. He watched as Alex emerged with the same girl. Quite obviously not sober. The girl stood at his side sadly, keeping the man from toppling over onto his face. It appeared as though that idea had been flitting through her head a time or two as she faltered, loosening her grip slightly only to be barked at by the drunken form next to her not to let go. The soldier watched as Alex suddenly shoved the girl into an alley and against the wall. The girl. no wait. That was a male's voice. This must be the boyfriend. Heero growled low in his throat as the boy screamed and pleaded with Mueller to stop, that he'd had enough. He slowly raised his gun, as Mueller slapped the boy hard across his cheek, growling that it would be over when he said it was over and no sooner. He fired, the silencer muffling the sound as Mueller forced his tongue down the crying boy's throat. He watched satisfied as the man slumped against the boy, all life drained out of him.
Duo's eyes widened in horror and he shoved the man away from him. He turned to the side doubling over, using the wall for support and vomited.
"Are you going to be all right?" Heero approached the boy, gently laying a hand on the beautiful creature's back.
"Wh-why'd you do that?" Duo stuttered, bringing his free hand up to wipe his mouth with the back of it and slowly stood up.
"Because he was abusing you and didn't care."
Duo stiffened, recognizing the voice. It was Heero's Heero had found him. His heart soared and just as quickly it plummeted. Heero had found him like this. "How-how did you know? I never told anyone." the Diary! Oh gods! It had been Heero!
"Don't you remember your Diary?" Heero smiled gently, wishing the beauty would turn around so he could see him.
"You? I told you not to." Duo whimpered pathetically. What did it matter? Heero would find out soon enough it was him. He was already pathetic. It wouldn't make much difference if he continued to act that way. He was already humiliated.
"I had a friend of mine promise in the message. And he kept his word. He didn't get involved, but I did. I set up an account for you with Mueller's funds. You're rather wealthy. Please. Tell me your na-" Heero broke off as the boy turned to face him. He knew that face. It haunted his dreams and his memories. "Duo," he breathed softly.
"Oh gods. I can't believe I told you of all people all of that!" Duo wailed, trying to run.
Heero deftly caught his wrist, easily keeping the boy where he stood. "Duo. I. I wish I had known. gods, Duo, it's nothing to be ashamed of. but why? Why didn't you do the hacking for yourself? Why did you choose him?"
"Because I wanted to die Heero." Duo looked his best friend in the eyes and somehow found the courage to continue. "No one else wanted me. he did. I took what I could get," Duo shrugged looking down at the back of Mueller's head.
"You once told me that you never lie."
"I don't," Duo jerked his head up and glared. Heero should know him better. Why was he accusing him of lying?
"But you did. I wanted you. I still do."
"Wh-what?!" Duo's mouth dropped open in shock.
"I've always wanted you Duo. Always," Heero smiled as he stepped over Mueller and gave Duo the sweetest kiss he had ever received.
