The Killer Strawberry
Larry Halkins 8 Hortan Street Laitville 4987 USA
18th July
Dear Larry,
How have you been old pal? The last time I saw you would have been at Jonno's 40'th in '99. Maybe we can catch up some time. For a drink possibly?
From your old mate Mike.
24th July Dear Larry,
You haven't replied to my letter? Maybe you are on holiday or I have the wrong address. Or maybe it got lost in the postal system. But if you did receive my letter, can you please reply, I get lonely living by myself.
From Mike.
29th July Dear Larry,
WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHEAP FAST FOOD! Sorry for frightening you, but a strawberry is walking around in my driveway. Yes it sounds strange, well stranger then strange but I can assure you it's the truth! It has eyes, a nose and a mouth and it looks quite demented. It went into the garden, and it is looking at me through a pair of tiny binoculars, I think it's spying on me or something.
From your very scared friend Mike.
4th August Dear Larry,
Sorry to keep bugging you like this, But that strawberry is really starting to freak me out. It seems it's always watching me, I don't know why. No government agency would be after me with microscopic gadgets, would they? I haven't done anything wrong! From Mike
7th August Dear Larry,
You are probably thinking that I should go to the police. But they won't believe me and will probably send me to a nuthouse. Oh God!!! It's here, inside my house! It saw me and ran away. This means it is trying to do something, But since it ran away, I doubt that something is a friendly thing. I'm so scared mate, please reply just once.
From Mike
11th August Dear Larry,
I think it is trying to kill me, because it forced its way into the house. I know this because I found a small hole in the window, the damned thing burnt its way in. How could it do that, I wondered. I have worked it out though, it has a small flamethrower that was given to it by its leaders. Yep, that's right, there's a secret race of evil strawberries that has been living underground for centuries. They have become sick and tired of living underground and are rebelling to gain control of the upper world.
From Mike
13th August Dear Larry,
You probably think I'm mad now, extremely maaaaaaaaad! But I have a good reason why there isn't proof of them trying to kill anybody before. Do you know that there are 894 unsolved murders in New York? This rebellion explains them all. Now are you satisfied that I'm not MAD!!!
From Mike
19th August Dear Larry,
I am setting up video-cameras all over my house to get footage of this strawberry to send to the police as proof as their existence.
From Mike
20th August Dear Larry,
I got it on camera, because I have footage of when I saw it. I'm checking the video now, WHAT!!! It doesn't appear on the video. It must be some kind of vampire strawberry. My plan is foiled, noooooooooooooo!
From Mike
22nd August Dear Larry,
Please reply just once, oh my god! It's here, with a knife. It's chasing me, it's too fast, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the 22nd of August Mike Koltarn was violently killed by a strawberry. Larry Halkins actually received all of these letters but he just assumed Mike was crazy, he told some friends but they all thought this as well. Nobody noticed that murders were becoming more frequent and all proceeded as normal. Until one year later, WHEN THE STRAWBERRIES TOOK OVER!
Larry Halkins 8 Hortan Street Laitville 4987 USA
18th July
Dear Larry,
How have you been old pal? The last time I saw you would have been at Jonno's 40'th in '99. Maybe we can catch up some time. For a drink possibly?
From your old mate Mike.
24th July Dear Larry,
You haven't replied to my letter? Maybe you are on holiday or I have the wrong address. Or maybe it got lost in the postal system. But if you did receive my letter, can you please reply, I get lonely living by myself.
From Mike.
29th July Dear Larry,
WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHEAP FAST FOOD! Sorry for frightening you, but a strawberry is walking around in my driveway. Yes it sounds strange, well stranger then strange but I can assure you it's the truth! It has eyes, a nose and a mouth and it looks quite demented. It went into the garden, and it is looking at me through a pair of tiny binoculars, I think it's spying on me or something.
From your very scared friend Mike.
4th August Dear Larry,
Sorry to keep bugging you like this, But that strawberry is really starting to freak me out. It seems it's always watching me, I don't know why. No government agency would be after me with microscopic gadgets, would they? I haven't done anything wrong! From Mike
7th August Dear Larry,
You are probably thinking that I should go to the police. But they won't believe me and will probably send me to a nuthouse. Oh God!!! It's here, inside my house! It saw me and ran away. This means it is trying to do something, But since it ran away, I doubt that something is a friendly thing. I'm so scared mate, please reply just once.
From Mike
11th August Dear Larry,
I think it is trying to kill me, because it forced its way into the house. I know this because I found a small hole in the window, the damned thing burnt its way in. How could it do that, I wondered. I have worked it out though, it has a small flamethrower that was given to it by its leaders. Yep, that's right, there's a secret race of evil strawberries that has been living underground for centuries. They have become sick and tired of living underground and are rebelling to gain control of the upper world.
From Mike
13th August Dear Larry,
You probably think I'm mad now, extremely maaaaaaaaad! But I have a good reason why there isn't proof of them trying to kill anybody before. Do you know that there are 894 unsolved murders in New York? This rebellion explains them all. Now are you satisfied that I'm not MAD!!!
From Mike
19th August Dear Larry,
I am setting up video-cameras all over my house to get footage of this strawberry to send to the police as proof as their existence.
From Mike
20th August Dear Larry,
I got it on camera, because I have footage of when I saw it. I'm checking the video now, WHAT!!! It doesn't appear on the video. It must be some kind of vampire strawberry. My plan is foiled, noooooooooooooo!
From Mike
22nd August Dear Larry,
Please reply just once, oh my god! It's here, with a knife. It's chasing me, it's too fast, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the 22nd of August Mike Koltarn was violently killed by a strawberry. Larry Halkins actually received all of these letters but he just assumed Mike was crazy, he told some friends but they all thought this as well. Nobody noticed that murders were becoming more frequent and all proceeded as normal. Until one year later, WHEN THE STRAWBERRIES TOOK OVER!
