A/N: Spontaneous idea was spontaneous… Hello all! :D This here Zutara fic was inspired by a few (leaked) panels of The Promise, the upcoming comic of sorts about the events after Zuko becomes Fire Lord and the peace era comes about. Some tiny, tiny bits of this fic will count as spoilers, so… just a warning if you don't like spoilers! The rest comes from my imagination, so it's not totally everything that happens in The Promise. :P Also, it might make more sense if you read them panels first. (There's a link on my profile if you're looking for it.) Well then, I think that's about it – enjoy le story! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything copyrighted mentioned in this story. If it's relevant, no offense is intended by basing a fanfic on leaked material… '^.^ (Why do those words make me feel bad?)
A Vow of Faith
Chapter 1: The Vow
The water bubbled and roiled, tumbling down the three levels of shallow stone dishes – each built with varying sizes to appear like layers of petals that would cluster to form a flower, the topmost dish being the smallest and the lowest dish being the biggest – and finally into the large basin set into the cobbled floor, with plods of certainty. Katara, dressed in a lofty blue nightgown, approached the fountain steadily, not wanting to draw too much of attention to herself by waking any of the others. This time was specifically for her to gather her thoughts, mull them over like the water sliding down each level of the tall fountain at which she came to a stop.
She smiled, letting her eyes take in the lively fountain, the urge to bend the hurdling water making itself known. From within her sleeves, she drew out her hands and slowly lifted them to the air in front of her, as though she were poised to waterbend. Her smile faded. After freshening up before coming here, Katara had wrapped her wrists in strips of bandages; now she undid each strip on either wrist, letting them fall to the ground.
Yes, Katara did not only come to the fountain to mull over her thoughts tonight.
Summoning up a small amount of water, Katara seated herself on the rim of the fountain, wrapping the cool water around her bruised left wrist; she worked the water up to a glow before it blended with the bruised skin, healing it to perfection and giving off only a few drops of excess water. As she went to work on her right wrist, she thought back to earlier that afternoon – when Zuko had clasped her wrists so tightly that he left behind painful smudges of dull red.
An angry twinge made her splash her hand in the water, scowling. She and Aang had only wanted to talk to him, to discuss what was going on – no harm had been intended, especially not to "his people". But what surprised her was that the guards were willing to physically attack them to keep them away, not listening to a thing she and Aang were saying. Therefore anything Katara may have done to hurt the guards was only an act of defense, and the fact that Zuko had blamed her for harming someone when she and Aang were the ones in danger of being harmed…
"I can't believe him," she whispered out loud, unconsciously stroking her left wrist.
In truth, she was also worried. Not just about the future of the world, but about Zuko, too. Something was bothering him, and this was made evident in the rushed manner with which he spoke, the anxiety in his eyes and how gaunt and sallow his face looked, as though his appetite was troubling. The angry mask he donned was something she could easily see through; Zuko was afraid. Though she did not know what he was afraid of, and was not sure if she had seen him as genuinely unsettled as this.
Either way, Katara had to see him. Physically. She had to talk to him alone; it was not the best idea to bring Aang…
Aside from Zuko's strange behaviour, he had said something to Aang not so long ago which had honestly scared her. They probably did not think she was listening, but she had certainly heard – Appa's saddle was not a place that guaranteed a private talk, although it could be attempted. They had all been in midair, amidst vibrant fireworks in the night sky, and Aang and Zuko were discussing Zuko's feelings of anxiety regarding the bad legacy of his family, how it and the pressure of being Fire Lord could change him for the worst, how he and the world needed a "safety net". How that meant Aang had to kill him if he ever became like his father. Aang had protested while she studied Zuko in sad surprise, and then he spoke words of finality…
"As your friend, I'm asking you – if you ever see me go bad, end me. Promise me, Aang."
"…Fine. I promise."
The doubt had been clear on Aang's drawn, sad face when he said that, but he had promised, if only because Zuko had asked with unswerving gravity. Still, she wished he had not. It was a dangerous thing to enter into, that could end in sadness, and he had accepted it no matter how much he did not want to… She knew that Aang would do anything for a dear friend, even if it was something so horrible to ask for. As long as the friend wanted something so badly, he would give it to them. That was how Aang was. Sometimes, though, she wished he would make exceptions – or at least allow himself to make the exception, no matter what Zuko said.
Making an exception in this case would not have resulted in him almost killing the firebender this afternoon.
Zuko had been asking for it, what with how he was acting, and Aang was just about to do it – end him. Katara had been crouched on the floor after Zuko was knocked back, effectively setting her wrists free, and had stared in shock at Aang's rage. But she had scrambled to her feet when she realized he was serious, and had done what she could to give Zuko a second chance. After that, when they were leaving in a hurry, Aang had thanked her for intervening. And that meant that he would have regretted it after discovering what he had done.
Katara flinched, speeding away from her reminiscence and back to the present, where she sat on the rim of the fountain with her elbows propped on her thighs to hold her head up. Her eyes gazed sadly at the cobbles of the floor beneath her feet, when she heard the sound of bare feet padding across the courtyard in her direction.
Aang, dressed in oversized pyjamas and bearing a glimmer of sleepiness in his grey eyes, came to a stop a short distance away. "How are you feeling?"
She sat up slowly, giving a smile that did not reach her eyes. "I'm all right. But I should be asking you that."
"I guess I'm still stunned," he admitted. "I know he was being serious when he asked me, and I know I was being serious when I made the promise. But I didn't think it'd actually come to that."
"Me neither." She bit her lip, eyes falling to the water. "Let's hope tomorrow has good news for this whole thing." Because hopefully my talking to Zuko tonight would have sorted things out before then.
"I hope so too, sweetie." Aang caught onto her hand tenderly.
The corner of her lip lifted slightly; she had initially thought addressing each other as "sweetie" was just a special joke between them, maybe something to annoy Sokka, but now she was beginning to think Aang took it seriously. "It's time to get inside; it must be really late."
He helped her stand upright. "Almost midnight," he confirmed.
The Western Air Temple had not taken a lot of work to repair, Katara thought absently as they walked past the statue of a monk at the entrance of the courtyard. The gang had declared it their regular meeting place, where they would join up to talk and sometimes stay over, like the old times. The reason it was convenient for their current situation was because it was close to Zuko, in the Fire Nation, and it would not take long to reach the Capital from here. Walking up a few stairs and making a turn or two, Katara and Aang found themselves at a branch in the wide stone corridor. Here, Aang would go right while Katara would go left.
He squeezed her hand. "Night, sweetie."
She could not help a little chuckle before pecking him on the cheek. "Good night, sweetie." And they went their separate ways, except Katara was not going to sleep when she got to her room.
Closing the door behind her with a click, she moved to her simple bed against the wall and adjusted the pillows so that they were under the blankets, giving the guise of a sleeping figure. She scurried to the wardrobe and quickly removed her robe, revealing a long-sleeved black shirt and matching trousers that had been underneath the entire time. She tugged on a pair of skin-fitting boots. She flung the discarded robe onto a shelf in the wardrobe and snatched a strip of cotton from another shelf, tying her hair up and out of her eyes. Finally, she tied a piece of dark material in the form of a makeshift mask around her neck, and lifted a black garment off of a hook and pulled it over her head; the top half was akin to a tunic, suppressing the black shirt beneath and melting with her skin, whereas the bottom half was like an open skirt and spilled down in drapes that clung to her knees. It was the long coat Katara had worn a while back when Zuko had gone with her to confront her mother's killer.
With that, Katara shut the doors of the wardrobe and double-checked the arrangement of the pillows under the sheets. A deep breath and she moved to the bedroom door, pausing with a hand on the knob and running her eyes over the room. She had a feeling that things would be different when she came back, hopefully for the better. Although a minor part of her was not completely sure, she twisted the knob and, after closing the door quietly behind her, Katara drew up her mask and darted into the shadows.
Ozai stood beside Zuko atop a volcano, whispering into his son's ear. Zuko's face broke into a malicious smile, darkness swimming in his golden eyes. He raised his arms and set everything in his path on fire. He burnt the trees that shot high into the sky. He sent lava running down the rocky sides of the mountain, melting everything into unidentifiable ash. He slipped a map of the Earth Kingdom from his pocket, holding it in front of him, and with his father's help, ripped it in two – the cries of the distressed filled his ears as the Earth Kingdom tumbled into nothingness. Amongst all of the carnage came a rumbling, familiar grunt; Appa, carrying Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph, came flying towards him.
"Destroy them, my faithful son," crooned Ozai.
Zuko narrowed his eyes into a vicious scowl. He traced his fingers in arcs through the air, blue light crackling at his fingertips; bringing his fingers together, he paused before shooting out a large burst of searing hot lightning. As the jagged blue wire of heat flew closer to them, the fear in Team Avatar's eyes made him and his father laugh-
Zuko bolted upright with a cry, chest heaving as he panted.
His eyes flicked from side to side, scanning his surroundings and finding with relief that he was alone in his dim, quiet bedroom at the Fire Nation Royal Palace; he had been able to keep his own bedroom when he became Fire Lord. It still bore the raised, four-poster bed in the centre of the room against the south wall; rich red carpet and elaborate hangings on the ornate masonry of the walls; the large closet set into the west wall of the room; the door leading to the bathroom, also on the south wall, a few paces from his bed; the entry doors at the north wall right in the path of the bed; and the transparent screen doors, with curtains draped over them, set into the east wall that led out onto a small balcony. Just his bedroom, not a soul in sight, the heat in the air from the remainder of summer – not a volcano.
He swallowed, catching onto his breath, and brought up a shaking hand to rub his forehead; his hand came away covered in a slick of shiny moisture, and he noticed for the first time how his sleeping shirt was plastered to his body by a coating of sweat. It was not an effort to kick aside his already misshapen sheets and clamber out of the bed, pacing back and forth to calm his tingling nerves… It was only a dream, it was only a dream, it was only a dream-
There were two firm raps on the door. "Zuko?" Suki's voice floated into the room from behind the door. "Zuko, is everything okay?" she called, concerned.
He stared hardly at the door. "It was only a dream," he answered. Nightmare, more fittingly, he corrected himself.
"All right, then – we've got your back, you know!" Ty Lee called cheerfully.
"It's been quiet so far," affirmed Suki. "You should get some rest."
"Good night." Zuko puffed out a sigh. He could not deny that Suki, Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi Warriors were much better guards than the ordinary palace guards. He was grateful for their help, as the attempts on his life so far were truly disconcerting. As friends, he might have even felt a hint of guilt for keeping them awake while he slept, despite it being their job. But he did not feel guilty because things like that no longer dominated his mind; things he did not have the time to think about. He needed someone who could effectively guard him from danger and that was why they were there. It was as simple as that.
But they could not protect him from himself, he knew, and his mind was not in a good state. Inside of him, things were falling apart, crumbling and breaking to pieces. He had been having a lot of dreams like the one that just had tormented him into waking, and what scared him the most was that they seemed so real. The fear in their eyes… A shiver chased down his spine. The pressure of being a Fire Lord in this new era, the struggle to make everyone strive towards the Harmony Restoration Movement, the constant checking of himself to make sure he was staying honest and true… He felt as though he was being devoured from the inside out, and there was, already, a hollow space forming and growing.
Zuko ran his hands through his hair with another miserable sigh and removed his soaked shirt, tossing it onto the floor in front of his closet, the night air cool on his bare torso. He snagged a robe off of the hook next to the bathroom door before padding inside. He threw it over his shoulder and, standing in front of the bathroom sink, twisted the metal tap, letting the water gush out of the faucet and hit the smooth glass of the basin. He thrust his shaking hands under the faucet, the water beginning to loosely pool in his cupped palms before meeting the basin. Everything seemed to be slipping through his fingertips, out of his control…
Frowning, he splashed his face with water, massaging his eyes and feeling a faint sting from the water droplets. After a few more splashes, he shut off the tap and pulled his crimson robe off his shoulder, swinging it behind him and putting it on properly, straightening it with a tug and tying the black sash at his waist. In the shadows of the bathroom, without the lamps lit, he could not see his reflection in the mirror above the sink – and neither did he want to. He knew he looked like a ghost of himself at a better time, and it surprisingly hurt to think that he had made so much of progress, only to have it undone by… him. Himself.
A burst of anger shot threw him, his palms jamming roughly onto the rim of the sink. "Damn it," he hissed, teeth bared.
He looked up suddenly, momentarily forgetting his anger, hands releasing the sink as he stepped back silently. A noise had come from the main bedroom. His eyebrow creased in a scowl; he moved his left arm forward, palm open, and curved his right elbow upwards so that his fist was clenched at the level of his eyes. He edged to the bathroom door, pausing before ducking beneath the doorframe and stepping swiftly onto the carpet. There was a figure – that of a girl – in the doorway of the balcony, doors wide open so that the curtains lifted and billowed into the room, moonlight silhouetting her.
Zuko's scowl deepened and he advanced along the length of his bed warily. "Kori?" he demanded, guessing the name of the mayor of Yu Dao's daughter who had attacked him but a few nights ago. "Is that you? What do you want?" As he reached the corner of his bed and rounded it, the figure placed a hand against a door of the balcony, as if braced to come in. "Speak, before I strike. You have no business coming here." He moved along the foot of his bed, and saw the shadows shift further down the girl's face, the moonlight highlighting her frowning face as she cocked her head to the side. His eyes widened in surprise, and his firebending stance wavered but did not break. "Katara?"
She did not blink, but her chest lifted and dropped as she inhaled deeply. "Who's Kori?"
He assumed a defensive, angry air again, remembering what had transpired that afternoon – he had physically hurt her, spurned her and Aang, and then she had saved him. "That doesn't matter. Why are you here?"
Katara's face seemed to dry, and she pursed her lips. "I came here to talk to you, and you are going to listen to me."
"Couldn't you have done this at another time – preferably not in the dead of night as if you were a thief?"
"It's not like you'd listen to me in the day, when you're walled in by your guards."
"How did you get into the palace?"
She huffed in frustration and stepped into the bedroom – and hesitated when his arms, still tensed in a firebending stance, quivered and focused on her, like the needle of a compass swinging back to north. A flicker of hurt flashed across her face, and she slowly held her arms up, hands in his direction. "I didn't come here to fight about what happened earlier," she said gently, cautiously, as if speaking to a shocked animal. "I'm not armed." She gestured at herself, showing her lack of a waterskin or the like. When he did not drop his stance, her eyebrows curved into a concerned expression. "Zuko, please, I need to talk to you… Please," she beseeched.
He forced himself not to let a trace of vulnerability into his face. "The others – are they mad at me? Are you?" he asked softly.
"Yes," she admitted. "We were. But now… we're worried. I came to see if you were okay."
Zuko dropped his arms, looking exhausted all of a sudden. "I deserve it – them being angry." He took a few steps closer, crossing the distance so that they were both framed by the doorway of the balcony, moonlight spilling onto them. "I might even deserve them never wanting to see me again."
Katara lifted her eyes to his, her face still and serious. "That will never happen. You're still our friend."
He watched her, studied the certainty in her tone and countenance, his brow trembling as he struggled to keep it in a fixed scowl. Then his breath caught, and he let out the following words on a whispering breath: "I don't know why this is happening, Katara. I… I'm slipping…"
Her lips parted in surprise as he spoke, her eyes filled with worry. "Zuko…"
Another breath forced its way out of him, his face twisting with desperation. "I'm becoming… I-I feel myself becoming more like… him." His voice cracked on the last word.
Katara did not try to stop herself when she closed the distance between them and slipped her arms over his shoulders, wrapping them around his neck and pulling him into a comforting embrace. A warm pressure was building behind her eyes, and she did her best to keep it from flowing over, willing herself to stay strong – at least for Zuko's sake. His arms flew up, closing tightly around her, his trembling fingers clutching onto the material of the long coat at her back. She could feel his chest, rising and lifting erratically against her. His emotions had overwhelmed him, driving him out of control; she did not remember a time when she had seen him reveal his inner weakness to her, like this. She wet her lips, chin tucked on his shoulder, arms tightening around him as her natural urge to protect heightened.
In this moment, as she gazed thoughtfully ahead, Katara made a decision. Zuko's doubt and insecurity were things she would resolve to defeat. She could now clearly see how much he was hurting, for these insecurities had come to the surface. And being who she was, Katara refused to let him hurt anymore. Her abilities as a waterbender involved healing, and she knew well that Zuko's pain was not physical, but she would do all she could to heal his soul, save it from being slowly crushed.
"You are not becoming like Ozai," she said firmly, but gently. "You're still Zuko; a strong, brave, good person. You may feel like you're losing that person, like he's already lost… But don't forget that he can be found – that you can find him." She swallowed, the words flowing naturally from her lips. "You've lost him once before, a long time ago, but you found him again. You really did," she repeated softly. "He's inside of you somewhere, whether you know it or not, but I…" She shut her eyes. "I can still see him. I know he's still there. And if you did it before, I know you can do it again."
He tensed, voice still raw but vulnerable like a young boy's. "But h-how can you be sure? I don't even feel like myself, Katara. You don't know how my mind has been tripping me up, how I always run over the worst possible ways I can go bad… Do you know what I just dreamed of?" He pulled back suddenly to look at her, and she could see the moisture running from his eyelids to his jaw, the bones of his face gauntly defined from a lacking appetite, the heavy shadows beneath his eyes and the tired grain pitted in their golden depths behind the built moisture. "The world was being destroyed, a new war coming, and you…" His voice shook. "You and the others were killed."
She shook her head. "That-"
"By me. I was the one who was doing all of those things, because my father told me to. I murdered innocent people… I destroyed everything-"
"Zuko!" she interrupted sharply, her sky blue eyes piercing as she leveled them with his defeated pair. "That wasn't real. You would never do that – I'll make sure you won't."
His eyebrow lifted, the pitiful expression on his face nearly making her grimace. "What?" he rasped.
"I will help you through this," she told him. "You will never have to be alone – from now on, we will go through this together, and I will help you as best as I can, every step of the way. Until the end." She raised her voice a tad, her tone true and assured. "I believe in you, Zuko. And I believe that you will get through this."
"How? How can I?" he asked her desperately. "How can you?"
"I just told you." She took a deep breath. "You made Aang promise to end your life if anything went wrong – if you went bad." Her hands gripped his shoulders when he nodded. "But he won't have to do that because you will overcome this – and you have me to help you. I did save you this afternoon, but now… Zuko, I swear…" She paused a second, knowing that what she was about to say was even more binding, of the utmost gravity. "I vow, that I won't ever give up on you. I will do whatever it takes whenever you need me to, so that you'll find peace within yourself again."
He stared at her, a new spark forming in his eyes. "Y-You'd do that?"
She nodded, her hands slipping from his shoulders to rest at her sides. "You have my word."
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Zuko!" Suki was calling into the room, her voice clipped and decisive; ready to give out orders to her fellow Warriors if the moment required it. "Zuko, what's going on? Are you safe?"
"Suki, wait," said Ty Lee, her voice at a lower volume, muffled by the thick wood of the door. "What if something's happened? Do you think we should go in?"
"Maybe…"
Katara's eyes, having fixed on the door while Suki and Ty Lee had been speaking, returned to his. "It's time for me to go. I'll see you soon."
He nodded, feeling just barely how tips of relief glimmered inside of him. The feeling was akin to the way the sun's rays poked out timidly from behind an enormous, dark cloud. It was much more soothing in comparison to how he had been feeling as of late – as if the darkness that had settled over him would have no end, as if he would be lost forever… And here she was. That spark of light, offering an escape back to safety and balance and happiness… He inhaled deeply before releasing the air steadily. "Thank you."
Katara wordlessly made her way out of the bedroom and onto the smooth stone of the balcony, clambering up onto the wide railing and turning to look at him one last time before she departed. Hair billowing behind her, she offered him an optimistic smile. "I have faith in you, Zuko. Don't forget that."
Just as she disappeared, the knob on the door turned and Suki and Ty Lee leaped inside, poised to strike down any trespassers. But all they found was Zuko, standing alone in front of the open balcony doors out of which he was staring intently, clad in a crimson robe that fluttered in the night breeze. Suki eased out of her stance, bringing her feet back together and lowering her arms, Ty Lee copying her. Suki shared a glance with her partner before nervously peering at Zuko, and cleared her throat. "Is everything all right in here, Zuko?"
Zuko turned his head around so that he was looking away from the balcony, raising his voice for them to hear. "I think everything will be just fine."
A/N:
I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! :D If you have any thoughts on it, let me know.
So I found the leaked panels and skimmed over them, and when I saw the scene with Zuko holding Katara's wrists, this idea popped into my mind, and that is how you have this story! I didn't really focus on the details of all the panels, so I suppose you could say this is loosely based on them – except the scene where the actual promise with Aang and Zuko is made. That was a real quote – I own nothing copyrighted! :P Katara and Zuko's vow is my own idea, though. Many thanks to my friends who helped me by giving useful opinions. :)
And thanks for reading! (Time to go back to my other fics now, but I hope the next update won't be too slow.)
