Authors Note: Okay this is my first fic ever so i hope you like it!
oh yeah i dont own ouran host club or any of the characters unfortunatly:(
{Kaoru's POV}
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself, trying to preserve what little heat I had left in my body. My breath was coming in short gasps, my hot breath white against the cool night air. It was four am a nightmare had woken me from my sleep. Standing on my balcony outside our room, Hikaru's and mine, I watched the snow as it slowly fell to rest peacefully on the ground. I looked out over our snow covered yard, and watched as the first rays of sunlight touched the delicate snow. I blew into my hands trying to warm my ice cold blood. I stood in nothing but my boxers in the thirty-seven degree weather.
Oh yeah I'm smart I should've at least put on a shirt.
"Kaoru?" Hikaru called my name softly.
I turned around instantly at the sound of Hika calling my name.
"Yes Hika?" I asked slowly turning around tearing my eyes away from the beautiful scenery.
"What are you doing out here? It's four in the morning and freezing cold out here. I'd hate to see you catch a cold! I'd hate to see you sick, you'd leave me all alone."
"Hah! Yeah right Hikaru you'd never leave the house without me. Would you?"
I asked sticking my front lip out and pouting. Blush filled Hikaru's cheeks only I was ever able to bring a blush to Hika's face.
"Of course not, Kaoru. I'd stay home and take care of you."
A smile played on the edges of his lips.
I wonder what those lips taste like. Why am I thinking about his lips in the first place?
{Hikaru's POV}
Why does his stare keep lingering on my lips?
"Kaoru?" I asked.
In an instant he looked up into my eyes a deep blush appearing on his cheeks.
"Come on," I said, "Let's go back inside before one of us gets sick." Kaoru looked around as if just realizing we were still on the balcony outside our room. I grabbed his hand leading him back into the bedroom and away from the falling snow. I smiled at how soft Kaoru's hands felt. I shook my head trying to think of something other than my younger brothers hands and how nice they'd feel somewhere else. I shook my head again trying to empty those thoughts.
"You okay?" I heard Kaoru ask
"Hmmmm? Oh, yeah, yeah why do you ask?"
"Um, because we've been in the room for five minutes and you still haven't let go of my hand."
Had it really been that long?
{Kaoru's POV}
Why hasn't he let go of my hand?
I looked up into Hikaru's eyes to everyone else our eyes were identical but to me his had always been a shade darker and had more mischief in them than mine. Suddenly my hand felt cold as Hika let go of it.
I was staring at the hand he had been holding onto when Hikaru's voice brought me back to reality.
"Come on, Kaoru, let's go back to bed."
"Hm? Oh okay Hika."
I walked over to my side of the bed and crawled under the covers turning towards the wall. I felt the bed dip as Hikaru crawled in beside me. I started to drift off into blissful sleep when all of a sudden I felt Hikaru roll over and drape his arm possessively around my chest.
We fell asleep like that in each other's arms…..
THE NEXT DAY
Hikaru and I walked hand in hand through the front gates of the school; we were instantly surrounded by squealing fangirls. Ignoring them we continued to walk towards our classroom. We walked into the class to find Haruhi sitting at her desk patiently waiting for Sensai to arrive. Hikaru sat down at his place next to Haruhi, I sat atop his desk. Instantly Hikaru, Haruhi and I were surrounded by another wave of fangirls. Screaming at me and Hikaru.
"Can you shut them up?" Haruhi had to yell in order to be heard over the noise they were causing. I looked down at Hikaru as if asking him what we should do. He shrugged and pulled me onto his lap.
{Hikaru's POV}
As I pulled Kaoru onto my lap everyone grew quiet as if awaiting our next move.
"Quiet enough?" I asked Haruhi, smirking at my ability to silence the room.
Everyone looked at me expectantly
Oh yeah I'm supposed to be putting on a show.
I reached up and grabbed his face bringing him closer to me. I looked into his eyes mere inches from his lips.
I wonder what he'd taste like.
"Class take yo-" His sentence stopped short as he saw me with my younger on top my lap.
"HITACHIIN BROTHERS!"
Looking away from each other, we looked over to the teacher.
"Yes?" We asked in unison.
"Please separate!" His voice filled with venom as he yelled at us.
I took my hands off his hips and held them up as if surrendering.
"Fine," I said, shrugging, and rolling my eyes.
"Whatever."
Kaoru slowly climbed off me giving the girls more of a show. Strutting over to his seat he sat down the girls eyes following him the entire time.
I looked ahead and tried to focus on sensai's lesson but my eyes kept getting drawn back to Kaoru.
{Kaoru's POV}
{Flashback 3 years ago}
I could feel their eyes on me.
Why are they all staring at me?
I can feel it . Feeling uncomfortable I stepped out of my desk walking up to the teacher.
"I need to use the restroom." I said startling him.
"Yes, um, okay, umm….."
"Kaoru" I stated, hating the fact that no one could ever tell us apart. Calmly I walked out of the room not showing my disappointment that our teacher couldn't tell me and my twin apart.
Walking down the hall I made a right opening the door to the bathroom. Forgetting to lock it, I closed the door. I stood with my hands braced against the sink. I looked up into the mirror seeing an exact copy of Hika's face. Were we really that much alike?
Would there ever be anyone other than ourselves who would be able to tell us apart? Sometimes our parents couldn't even tell us apart. Sighing I turned around and jumped up on the sink. Tears silently began running down my cheeks. The door slammed open scaring me half to death. I tried to look relaxed and wipe away the tears that were on my face.
"Kaoru?"
It was Hikaru's voice, I began to panic.
What if he sees I'm crying?
Nonchalantly wiping at my face I tried to wipe away the trails the tears had left.
"Kaoru, are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine." I said keeping my head down so he wouldn't see the tears falling. I heard him step in front of me and felt him grab my chin and bring it up so I could look into his eyes.
"Kaoru, are you crying?"
"No" I whispered almost silently.
"It's okay." Hikaru said not bothering to ask what was wrong. He pulled me into a hug trying to give me a little bit of comfort.
"It'll be okay." He said gently rubbing my back. Sniveling I told him
"No, it won't, don't you understand for all of our live no one, NO ONE, will ever be able to tell which one of us is Kaoru or Hikaru. You and I will always be the only ones able to tell each other apart!"
"Kaoru, we have each other isn't that enough? Do you need any other person?" He asked wiping away my tears.
"You're right, we don't need anyone only each other."
He pulled me into him holding me closer if that was possible.
"I'll always be here for you no matter what; it'll be me and you against them always. I'm here and I promise I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave."
{End Flashback}
Funny isn't it? He promised he'd never leave yet here he I drifting away. He loves her, but I love him, although I know it's sick and twisted its wrong, yet I continue to feel these feelings. I may love him but our love was never an option. He belongs with her and I belong alone. He must learn to love someone other than me and it's my job to help him.
{Hikaru's POV}
I wonder if he's okay.
For once in my life I couldn't tell what my brother was thinking.
I heard the bell signaling the end of our final period for the day. Grabbing my books I stood up making my way to Kaoru. Oddly enough he hadn't moved as if the bell never sounded.
"Kaoru? Are you okay?"
He looked up as if just realizing I was there. Smiling he said
"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"
"You looked kind of distant." I explained.
"Also the bell rang and you haven't moved."
"It did?" he asked looking around as if just noticing there was no one in the room but us.
"Let's head home then okay?" He smiled brightly
He has such a beautiful smile
"Yeah, sure." I responded simply still wondering why that thought crossed through my mind. An awkward silence filled the room as he stood and took his place next to me. We walked down the hall hand in hand getting our usual stares, jealousy from the boys and the usual lust filled ones from the girls. Pathetic was the word that came to mind. Walking out the front of the school I could feel the eyes of all the students on me and Kaoru. I smirked and rolled my eyes it was the same every day. This routine was getting old. We had reached the limousine that always took us to and from school. Opening the door I stepped aside and allowed Kaoru to enter first as I usually did. Sliding next to him I entwined my fingers with his. Leaning against the winder I drifted into sleep I opened my eyes to find myself in a long corridor. I felt emptiness but I couldn't figure out why until I looked to my right and found Kaoru wasn't beside me. I began to panic upon finding my hand empty of my twins.
"Kaoru?!" I shouted into the darkness
Where was he? Why had he left me alone? We promised we'd never leave each other, that it would always be just me and him.
A panel of light appeared before me, curious I stepped through. Instantly fluorescent lights blinded me. My eyes adjusting to the lights I realized I was in a bathroom. I could see Kaoru on the counter and me wiping his tears telling him it's always be just me and him.
A blinding light filled my eyes and suddenly the sceanery changed. I felt cold air brush my skin.
I'm outside?
"Come on Kaoru!"
"Hika slow down!"
I opened my eyes seeing I was in my mother's garden. Me and Kaoru were chasing each other it looked as if we were younger possibly six maybe seven? I saw my younger self tackle Kaoru, Kaoru coming out on top.
He smiled down at him or me. He smiled in that way only innocent children could.
He's adorable I thought before I could stop myself. A warm blush filled my cheeks. I looked back over to the small children. I was now on top of Kaoru. I guess we've always been close, and never really cared about physical boundries. The younger me smiled
"I love you Kaoru."
{Kaoru's POV}
My hand was still entwined with Hika's although he had fallen asleep I still clutched him as though he were my only lifeline. I looked out the window. Hika mumbled something so quietly I almost didn't hear him.
"I love you Kaoru." He whispered again.
Just what is he dreaming about?
{Hikaru's POV}
"I love you too, Hika, but you gotta promise you'll never leave me kay?"
"I promise. Now you promise too."
"I promise." Kaoru said leaning down and giving the younger me a hug.
Suddenly everything flashed again andi was in that hallway once more, only this time there was no doorway only a corridor that seemed endless. I began to walk.
"Kaoru!?"
I began shouting his name afraid he had left me all alone. Not long after I began walking I reached a door. I opened it to find myself outside me and Kaoru's room on the balcony. I glanced around spotting Kaoru sitting at the small table on our balcony.
"Kaoru?" I asked hesitantly
He looked up smiling.
"Oh there you are Hika!"
I ran into his arms and began crying
"I thought you left me all alone! I couldn't find you and I was so scared. Don't ever leave okay?"
Hugging me I heard him whisper in my ear
"I wouldn't dream of it."
We stood there hugging I was caught unaware when Kaoru pulled away.
"Kaoru?"
"Hika I need to tell you something okay? But I want you to listen until I'm done alright?"
"Okay Kaoru I will."
"You need to learn to love someone other than me one day you'll need someone other than me. I know how you feel towards Haruhi I can feel you drifting away. I want you to be happy for me. Will you try?"
Nuzzling Kaoru's neck I responded "Yes, but know I'll never leave you."
Everything began to fade as I began to wake. Blinking away the sleepiness I looked out the window to see we were home.
THREE WEEKS LATER.
{Kaoru's POV}
Sitting in my chair I looked across the room to see Hikaru holding Haruhi. I smiled trying to be happy but inside my heart was breaking.
"He isn't happy you know that right?"
I looked to see Kyoya standing next to me. Looking back over to Hika I asked
"What do you mean."
But the Shadow King had already disappeared.
What could he have meant? Hika has who he's always wanted how couldn't he be happy?
{Hikaru's POV}
This wasn't right. It didn't feel right. I don't belong with her I never did. I let go of Haruhi.
"I'm sorry." I whispered
Running for the doors I heard Kaoru shout my name and Kyoya telling him to let me go.
ONE WEEK LATER
{Kaoru's POV}
It had been a week since Hikaru's incident with Haruhi. Since then he had been distant not even talking to me. I suspected Kyoya knew what was wrong with him but he wouldn't say. I stood, leaning over the railing of the balcony above the ballroom. I watched as host club members danced with the "princesses". Descending the stairs I walked to the back of the room trying to avoid everyone. I wasn't in the mood to dance. Suddenly Hikaru came to stand beside me.
"Hiakru it's been a week are you ready to tell me what's wrong?"
"It's wrong."
"What is, Hika?"
"How I feel."
"About?"
"This."
Before I could respond he pulled my face close touching my lips to his. He tasted of chocolate cake. I felt his hands going to my hips bringing me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck giving in and returning his passion.
Sick, Wrong. The words wandered through my thoughts but I didn't care all I cared about was his lips on mine.
I love him.
I felt him pulling away from me.
{Hikaru's POV}
I pulled away my hands still at his hips. I place my forehead against his.
"This is wrong. I know it wasn't supposed to end this way, but I can't help how I feel. I love you and I'm afraid it isn't brotherly love. You're mine Kaoru and no one else's."
"Hikaru I've always felt the same, I just thought you'd be better off with her. What I feel is wrong and I'll never be able to stop feeling this way, but you belong with he-"
I put my finger against my younger half's lips silencing him.
"But that's the thing, Kaoru, I don't want anyone but you. That is if you'll have me."
He pulled me close our lips only centimeters apart, before they touched he whispered
"When have I ever been able to refuse you?"
Then I was lost in our kiss his finger entwined in my hair.
"I love you, Hika. I always have."
He whispered and just like that I was lost in the addiction that was my brothers lips.
