Absent Minded
A one-shot by Broken-Mask
Silky grey clouds filtered over the inky black sky, aimlessly passing over, lazily drifting along in a slight breeze. The night sky was the seemingly only concrete thing in Christine's life. It would always hang over her, assuring her that at least some things stay the same. Stars shown down upon the earth, the light struggling to reach through the soft lilac curtains covering the entrance from the balcony to Christine Daae's room.
It was her only sanctuary in this troubling time of confusion and regret. It seemed like an eternity stretched between the present and when Christine had taken her last glance at her angel. In reality, however, only a mere two months had passed. To the young Daae, they had dragged on, each day taking its merry time to pass. The hours seemed to have doubled as she holed herself up in the little room. She was in her own self-afflicted solitude.
At least, she was trying to remain in solitude. It was not the easiest task to accomplish when bound to the Viscount de Chagny. Christine laughed. Bound… what an odd word to choose. She was engaged to him, by her own free will. She was the one who accepted the marriage proposal. None of this was Raoul's fault. In fact, nothing had happened to the world around her.
Christine Daae was self destructing. She was perched on a small stool in front of a large mirror, observing her reflection, noting how much she had changed. Perhaps she was changing visibly, too. She twirled a golden ringlet around her finger. The moonlight bathed her petite form, illuminating it in the night-time atmosphere.
It only made her skin look paler. She hadn't gone out into the sun much, so without its warm rays her skin was soon becoming alarmingly pale. Her eyes didn't seem to… sparkle as much. Raoul had once told her that he swore that there was a fire dancing in her eyes. It had apparently been extinguished. Her blue eyes were empty, an open door revealing a vacant room.
Christine sighed, turning away from her reflection. She glanced down at her right hand, staring at a sliver of gold taunting her on her ring finger. It was a wedding band. Not on the correct hand, however. She was not married to the one who gave it to her. The gold shone vibrantly, catching the moon's florescent light. She sighed. The ring was her last desperate cling to the life she had left behind, and a glaring reminder of what she was desperately trying to purge from her memory.
Erik, oh… Erik! Where was he now? Christine's eyes stung with tears. He had told her to bury him! How could she? She had never touched the newspaper, let alone the obituaries, fear overwhelming her that it would bring news of her angel's death. She could not bear to gaze down upon his lifeless corpse, the only thing left on the planet of a wonderful genius…
And how he had loved her. Christine knew, with great pain throbbing in her heart, that Erik would have done anything if it pleased her. She wished with her life that she could have loved him as he loved her. But she hadn't… he was a father figure to her. He was just like her own beloved father, teaching her to sing much like her father had. He knew exactly where to pick up… it was like she was visited by her father in an angelic form. Christine had even dared to relish the idea, cradling it in the back of her mind.
Loosing Erik was like loosing her father a second time. Christine knew Raoul could not know she still had his ring. She desperately needed it with her, yet she knew he would not be happy…
The door clicked open, revealing an unannounced guest at Christine Daae's door. Her heart caught in her throat. Oh, what perfect timing! The night she had dared to slip the gold band onto her finger, when she was sure she was to be kept alone… oh, how ironic. Now the very person she was hiding from was standing there, his shining blue eyes piercing her with their intense stare.
Raoul was a handsome man. His dirty blonde hair, today, was casually tied back into a small pony tail with an elegant black ribbon. His masculine form leaned against the wall, as a small smile graced his face. And those gorgeous eyes continued to stare. Christine gulped, the wedding band quickly becoming heavy upon her finger. "R-Raoul…" she stuttered, struggling to plaster a fake smile on her lips.
Raoul raised an eyebrow, beginning to advance on Christine. "Yes, that would be my name." He said, his voice sounding cold. Christine squeezed her eyes shut. Oh, how he had changed, too.
"Is there any reason for the visit?" Christine asked, trying to keep her voice from breaking.
Raoul chuckled. "Should I have a reason for visiting my fiancé?" At this point, he was mere inches away from her. Christine's smile faltered.
"I suppose not. However, do not think that I don't… appreciate your company, Raoul." Christine bit her tongue at the lie. Raoul saw right through her, as he continued to lock eyes with her. Christine felt her face flush red at being caught in the fib. Recently, she had spewed so many fabrications… trying to cover up the fact that her soul was bound to another life, another love… she had loved Erik, if not the same way he loved her.
"Don't worry, Lotte." Raoul said, his face inching closer to Christine's. "As long as you love me, you could never hurt me." Christine saw the obvious message.
She was not expecting, however, him to claim her lips in a passionate kiss. Her eyes widened at the surprise show of affection. Of course… he wanted to know how she would react.
Christine played along with his little game, succumbing to the passion, placing her hand around his neck, deepening the kiss. Oh, what a wonderful couple, passing servants must have muttered to themselves. How in love they are!
Christine and Raoul both knew that they had started a web of lies. They would eventually get caught in their own clever traps, revealing more about themselves than they cared for the other to know. Oh, perhaps they truly did love each other. But their past at the opera had tainted it; it had taken it into its grasp, twisting and mutilating their love until it had turned it into a paranoia and sea of confusion.
Christine broke the kiss, gasping for air. Raoul was such a wonderful kisser… she had often wondered how many women had experienced the sweet passion of his kiss before she had. There must have been at least a couple; Raoul was quite achieved at the art of kissing.
The idea of this made Christine chuckle a bit, wondering how awkwardly Raoul would answer the question if she asked it, but also deep inside her the thought sent a stab of jealousy. No other woman could have Raoul! He was hers… yet, at the same time, she was obviously not worthy of him.
Raoul started to hold her hand in his. Christine's eyes widened as she quickly broke out of her haze of thought as she felt his fingers brush the gold ring that rested on her finger. Oh, it certainly felt very heavy now. Raoul jolted Christine's hand higher, bringing it into view. He glared at the taunting golden band with pain, grief, madness, jealousy…
Both were wordless. Silence engulfed the room, holding the young couple in an awkward embrace much like the two had the night after the Opera fiasco. Christine was frozen, words not daring to spill from her mouth. Nothing she could say would heal Raoul's sore heart.
Gently, Raoul brought the hand he had in his grasp to his face, warmly placing a small kiss on the back of her hand. As Christine blinked, Raoul smirked. He acted as if that was what he had planned to do from the start. Christine dared not to look at his face as he stated quietly, "I best leave now."
Idly, Christine reminded herself that even the night sky changed.
FIN.
