Winter

By Mayhem777

Authors note: This will probably be my last shouen Ai fic due to the fact that I'm starting to move away from the GW fandom, I will still finish out my remaining fics as well as my other ideas though before I leave. Anyways as an Fyi I came up with this idea after watching an episode of Scrubs called "My Screw Up" and after listening to the song "Winter" by Joshua Radin.

Also the italic font denotes thinking and Trowa's dream, and the line means a scene change in his dream.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters

Warnings: Angst, Shouen Ai, Mild Language, Death

Preventer HQ

Trowa was at his desk, typing away at a report when he heard a slight knock at his door. He looked up from his computer and saw a smiling Quatre standing there.

"Hey Trowa, how's it going?"

Trowa smiled slightly "You know Quatre, when I said I was going to join the Preventer's to make a difference, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

Quatre shrugged his shoulders "I know it's not as glamorous or exciting as piloting a Gundam, but these are the times we live in."

Trowa sighed "I know, the price of peace; instead of dealing with war and chaos we're working long dull hours behind a desk while constantly doing never ending mountains of paper work," Trowa leaned back slightly in his chair "You know, sometimes I miss the good old days."

"Same here, but what can you do?"

Trowa nodded slightly "Yeah I know, so what's up?"

Quatre smiled "Well I'm finished with my work so I'm going home, but Duo and the others are going out for some drinks tonight, they wanted to know if you were interested in coming with?"

Trowa nodded "Sure thing, its not as if I have anything better to do."

"That's great, maybe we'll get to hear you sing again." Said Quatre with a grin.

Trowa chuckled slightly, a few weeks back he was out with the guys and he allowed himself to drink more than usual, then thanks to Duo, he had a few more. And it was about that time that karaoke seemed like a good idea.

"I don't think so, that was kind of a one time deal."

"Oh come on, you were actually not that bad." Pleaded Quatre

Trowa shook his head "Sorry it's just not my thing," Trowa then paused and looked at the pile of papers on his desk. "Anyways I still got a lot of work to do."

"That's okay, so do the others, just give me call when you get off."

"Okay I will… how do you always finish before us anyways?" Asked Trowa

Quatre grinned "It's because unlike you, I'm actually good at my job, see you later."

"Yeah, Yeah, get out of here."

Trowa quickly balled up a sheet of paper and threw it at him. It bounced harmlessly off the door as Quatre ran away giggling.

It wasn't like himself to act this way, usually he was pretty reserved, but around Quatre, he felt like he could open up, he felt like he could be human.

"You always know how to bring out the best in me."

He let out a small sigh and went back to typing away at his report.


Trowa turned off his computer and leaned back in his chair.

"I'm finally finished." He said triumphantly

He took out his cell phone to call Quatre, but noticed the battery was dead.

"Guess I'll just call him when I get home."

He then got his stuff together and went out to his car.


As he was driving back to his house he heard the sounds of several sirens in the distance. Trowa noticed the sirens were coming from behind him so he pulled off to the shoulder to make room for the approaching vehicles. Shortly afterwards an ambulance and several cop cars suddenly sped past him. When they passed, Trowa got back onto the road and resumed driving towards his house.

"I wonder what that's about?" Thought Trowa


Trowa's House

Trowa pulled into the driveway and parked the car. He gathered up his things, got out of his car, and walked up to the door. He opened the door and stepped inside, the house was surprisingly quiet. Usually his sister Catherine would have her friends over, or at the very least she would be watching television..

"Hey Cathy, are you hear?"

After hearing no reply he shrugged slightly and walked to the kitchen.

"She probably went out again."

No sooner had he'd entered the kitchen then the phone rang. He walked over to it and picked it up.

"Hello?"

He heard a sniff followed by Cathy's voice "Trowa… is that you?"

The distress in her voice alarmed him "Yes it's me, what's wrong Cathy?"

He heard her sniff again "Where have you been, I've been trying to call you for almost an hour."

"My phones been dead for most of the day, I just got home a few minutes ago… Cathy, tell me what's wrong?"

"Trowa… Quatre was in an car accident."


Hospital

Trowa burst into the emergency room and saw the others pilots.

"What the hell is going on, where is he!"

A teary eyed Heero approached him "He's in the emergency room, we all just got done talking to him."

Trowa became relieved "You mean he's alright?"

Heero looked down slightly, his face grim "Trowa… I just talked to the nurse… he's dying…"

Trowa felt all the blood drain from his face "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? You said you just talk to him!"

"His injuries are too severe, the doctors tried to do everything they could, but he's not going to make it much longer… he said he wants to see you."

Trowa's mind became a haze as he tried to comprehend what was happening "Heero… are you telling me this is the last time I'm going to talk to him…"


Trowa woke up to the sound of his alarm. After trying to ignore it for a few minutes he arose from his bed and turned off the alarm. For a moment he just sat there as his mind settled down, he then got out of his bed and walked to his bathroom, he splashed water over his face and looked into the mirror. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths; his mind was still racing from earlier.

"Oh man… what a dream…"

"Trowa?"

Trowa turned around to see Quatre standing in the doorway.

"Quatre… what are you doing here?"

"I live here remember, in the guest room. I thought I heard you screaming so I came to check up on you."

Trowa thought for a moment "Oh yeah, I was just having a nightmare, I'm fine now."

Quatre smiled "I glad to hear that, anyways I'm going downstairs to make some breakfast, do you want me to make you anything?"

Trowa shook his head slightly "No thanks, I'll make some myself."

"Suit yourself, see you down stairs."

With that Quatre walked out of the room and down the stairs.

"I guess I better get ready."

With that he shut the door and got the shower ready.

Trowa walked down the stairs into the kitchen and saw Quatre eating a bowl of cereal.

Quatre looked up at him and smiled "Took you long enough."

"Not all of us enjoy waking up at this hour." Said Trowa

"That's just me I guess."

Trowa walked over and began making himself a pot of coffee. As he looked back he noticed that Quatre was still in his pajamas.

"Hey, how come you're not getting ready for work?"

Quatre looked up at him "I'm on vacation remember?"

Trowa thought for a moment "Oh right, man I'm getting forgetful today."

Once the coffee was done he poured it into his thermos and looked at Quatre.

"I'll probably be at the office late again."

"That's typical of you, I'll figure out something to do." Said Quatre with a grin

"I bet you will, see you later."

With that he walked out the door too his car.

Preventer Hq

Trowa took a sip of his coffee as he sat down into his chair; he then turned his computer on and waited for it to load up. He sensed someone standing over him and looked up, it was Duo.

"Hey Duo, what's up?"

"Not much, are you okay?" Asked Duo gently

"I'm fine Duo, couldn't be better." Said Trowa cheerfully

Duo looked at him puzzled "Look I don't know what's going on with you right now… but the last place you should be is here. I already talked to Lady Une, she said you could take a couple of days off."

Now it was Trowa's turn to be confused "Why would you do that, I'm perfectly able to work right now."

"Trowa… Just go home, please, I don't like seeing you like this."

Trowa's eyes narrowed and he stood up "What are you talking about Duo, I'm fine!"

"You're not fine God-Damn It! How much longer are you going to keep acting like nothing happened!" Yelled Duo

Trowa found himself becoming very angry with him "Just shut up Duo! I have a lot of work to do so just leave me the hell alone!"

Duo stared at him briefly but left, Trowa let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"What the hell was that about?"

2 Hours Later

Trowa shut the car door roughly and made his way to the front door. Lady Une's order him to come to his office and told him to take the rest of the week off, and no matter what she said he couldn't change her mind. He opened the door and heard a noise from the living room.

"Cathy is that you?"

"Nope it's me." Said Quatre

Trowa walked into the living room and saw Quatre lying on the couch reading a book.

He looked up at him and smiled "Your back early."

Trowa shrugged his shoulders slightly "Lady Une gave me the week off for some reason… everyone at work was being weird today."

"Must be a bug going around."

"I guess so… so what do you want to do now that I have this free time?" asked Trowa

"Well since it's a really good day outside, I say we go for a walk, the parks not to far away."

Trowa smiled "Sounds like a plan."

Park

Trowa sat down next to a tree as he watched the people around him. Quatre and him had walked around most of the park by now, so he decided to rest a bit while Quatre walked around some more. Over by the playground he saw a couple of kids with their parents playing on various equipment. He smiled a bit as he saw one of the kids repeatedly attempt to swing from the monkey bars, only to keep falling off half way.

"To be young again."

"Hey Trowa, something on your mind?"

Trowa looked up and saw Quatre standing over him

"Just admiring the little things."

Quatre looked over at the playground and smiled "Yeah kind of makes you think huh."

Trowa sighed "It's more like I envy them, I never got to have that kind of childhood."

"None of us did, that's why we need to make the most of our lives now, while we still have peace." Said Quatre as he extended his hand

Trowa smiled as he took the hand "I guess your right," He stood up and looked at him "So what now?

Quatre thought for a minute "We could go back and watch a movie?"

Trowa smiled "That actually sounds pretty good, lets head back."

Trowa's House

Trowa put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and punched in a few numbers "Popcorn is cooking, any suggestions on what we should watch?"

"Not really, I trust you." Said Quatre as he walked up stairs

Trowa went over to his collection and picked out the movie, after putting it in he retrieved the popcorn and placed it into a bowl. As he walked out of the kitchen he saw Quatre walk into the living room in his pajamas.

Trowa cocked an eyebrow "It's not even eight o clock yet."

Quatre shrugged his shoulders "I like being comfortable."

"I guess I cant blame you," Trowa sat down and patted the seat next to him "Come have a seat, the movies about to start."

Quatre smiled at him "Okay."

Quatre sat close next to Trowa as the movie began playing. For the most part they sat in silence, though they laughed occasionally at the funny parts. Towards the end of the movie Trowa felt Quatre's head rest on his shoulder. Trowa glanced down at him and saw that he had nodded off.

Trowa smiled to himself "Never could make it to the end."

He gently eased his head off his shoulder and rested it on a pillow; he then threw one of the blankets over him.

"Goodnight Quatre."

"He heard him mumble something as he pulled the blankets tighter around his body, Trowa gazed at him for a minute before walking into the kitchen. He grabbed a cup from his cabinet and poured himself a glass of water; he began taking a drink when he noticed a note on the fridge. He took it off the fridge and began reading it.

Trowa

I know these past few days have been hard for you and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but know that I'm here for you, and your friends are too. You're not alone in this, and I hope that you know that we're all here for you. Quatre was special to us all, and we all loved him very much… I know how close you two were, and I know your hurting the most right now… but you will get through this, and I'll be there for you every step of the way. I love you little brother, just remember no matter how alone you feel, that no matter how hard it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this.

Love Catherine

Trowa's hands started shaking as he read the note "What the… what does this mean?"

"Trowa"

Trowa turned around and saw Quatre standing behind him, his face was grim and there were tears welling up in his eyes.

"Quatre, what is this?" he asked as he pointed at the note

Quatre shoulders slumped slightly and he let out a sigh "I was hoping to spend more time with you… but I guess nothing last forever."

Trowa hesitantly approached him "Quatre what are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry Trowa, I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want this to end." Said Quatre solemnly

"What do you mean… are you…"

Quatre lowered his head slightly "Yes Trowa… I died 2 days ago."

Trowa felt his stomach knot he reached out and touched him, but his skin was growing colder by the second "If that's true, then why… how is this possible?"

Tears now streamed down his face as he looked up at him "Because I needed to tell you this before I could move on…" He lightly grasped Trowa's hand and held it to his heart "Trowa… I love you, I don't even care if you feel the same way or not, I just needed to tell you this…"

Trowa stiffened as he heard those words, and tears were now brimming at his eyes. Suddenly Quatre's legs buckle as he slowly fell to the floor. Trowa quickly moved to his side and raised his head up with one arm, while holding his hand with the other.

"Quatre what's wrong?"

Quatre fought back a sob as he looked into his eyes "It's time for me to go…"

Trowa couldn't hold it in any longer his grip on his hand tightened as tears spilled from his eyes "No Quatre, please god no!"

Quatre slowly raised a hand and lightly brushed his cheek "It'll be alright Trowa…"

Trowa closed his eye tightly as he felt his hand touch his cheek "No… it won't… not without you… You'll never get another chance," Trowa opened his eyes and looked at his face "Quatre… there's so much to say… you were the first person I met that I could call a friend. Every moment being around you, were the best times of my life. You always brought out the best in me, I actually felt human around you…" He gritted his teeth as he tried to hold back a sob "Throughout all the years I've know you… you were the best soldier a person could ask to fight alongside… but more important than that…you were my best friend…"

He couldn't hold it in any longer, he sobbed out loud as he rested his forehead against his hand as he felt Quatre other hand softly stroking his cheek. Suddenly he felt the hand drop from his face, his eyes snapped open and he saw that Quatre was now laying still with his eyes closed.

"Quatre!"

He let go of his hand and cradled his face with his hands "Not yet, please not yet… I love you Quatre, I do… don't go now."

He saw Quatre's face stir at those words "T… Trowa… ki…"

Trowa understood what he wanted, without hesitation he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his in a tender kiss. For a brief moment he felt him kiss back against his lips. It was very light, but the feeling was overwhelming, he pressed into it a little more before reluctantly pulling away and gazing over his face. A small smile had formed and he opened his eyes weakly.

"Trowa… thank you… goodbye…"

Quatre's eyes then closed and his body sagged against him.

"Quatre!" Trowa wrapped his arms around him and pressed his body tightly to his. He shut his eyes tight, but he couldn't stop his tears from falling. His breath became ragged as he let out a sob and buried his face into his shoulder. As he cried he suddenly felt as if Quatre got lighter, he opened his eyes and saw that there was nothing there. He immediately looked to his hands, which were now grasping air, then back to where Quatre previously was, but saw nothing. He took a few deep breaths and slumped back down to the floor and stared at the spot as tears continued to spill from his eyes.

"Quatre…"

He sat there for over an hour just staring numbly at the spot, he had long since stopped crying as he had nothing left. He didn't even hear Catherine come in the door, nor did he hear her when she began calling out his name. He suddenly felt her arms encircle him in an comforting embrace, he gently grasped onto her arm and took all the comfort he could from it. He let out a soft sigh as he felt the warmness of her body against his. Slowly he relaxed into her embrace as she softly began running her hands through his hair.

An hour later

Trowa gave Catherine one last hug and looked her in the eyes.

"Thank you Catherine… for everything…"

Cathy gave him a slight nod "You're my brother Trowa.. I love you and I want you to know that we're going to get through this, together."

Trowa gave her a weak smile "I know… goodnight Catherine"

With that he shut the door and walked over to his bed and sat down. He looked over by his nightstand and saw a picture of himself with Quatre, Duo, Heero, and Wu-Fei. He picked it up and looked over Quatre's face, he felt a pang in his heart as he thought about what happened earlier.

"Was it all a dream…" his mind went back to what Quatre had told him

"Trowa… I love you…"

His fingers ghosted over Quatre's face in the picture "Quatre… real or not my feelings don't change. I love you Quatre, I just wish I could've told you this sooner…"

He closed his eyes briefly and saw an image of Quatre smiling at him.

"I know Trowa I love you too… I'll always watch over you and be with you. But I want you to promise me that no matter what, you'll continue living, for both of us…"

Trowa gave him a nod "I will, I promise Quatre… goodbye."

Quatre gave him one last smile as his tears sparkled in his eyes, and then he was gone.

Trowa opened his eyes and saw that he was still holding the picture. He looked over Quatre again and set it down on his nightstand. He then laid back in bed and rested his head on his hands. He no longer felt sorrow or pain, he felt that he could make it through this; he felt that for the first time in awhile, everything was going to be all right. He then remembered something from earlier; he pulled out his phone and called Duo's number. First things first, he had to make things right with him again.

End

Whew that one took forever to complete (been working on it off and on for almost a year), but I'm glad I was able to finish it. Shouen Ai/yaoi fics tend to be harder for me to write but I'm happy with the way things came together with this. Anyways loved it, hated it, let me know what you think, I'm always looking forward to feedback for my stories and I want to know what I did right/wrong, and how I can improve for future stories. Also be sure to check out my other stories like my re-edited "Change Of Heart" and my massive epic "The Soldiers Of The Apocalypse"