Author's Note: I was just thinking of what the Office's New Year's resolutions would be.
Disclaimer: NBC owns The Office. Not me.
Creed
"My New Year's resolution?... What year's it going to be? Really? Wow... that's... interesting..."
Meredith
"There's some guy living in my garage. But every time I go to get him out, he disappears. I should probably get him outta there.
Jim
"Well, at my house, I have eighty packs of powdered jello. I bought them with the intention of putting Dwight's car in jello. Then, Darryl lent his jack to a friend and never got it back. So, I guess my resolution is to find something else to do with eighty packs of jello... I guess I could always eat it... I do like jello."
Pam
"I really need to clean my junk drawer. I seriously think that something is living in there. I can hear it sometimes. It makes a kind of hissing noise... It's really scary."
Kevin
"I need to find the key to my house. Have you guys seen it? Cause this is really bad."
Stanley
"My resolution is to stop letting you interview me. I have work to do."
Oscar
" New Year's Resolution? The only resolutions you should make are ones that you intend to follow through on. People only make resolutions now because it's a tradition, not because they want to change their life. Oh, uh, have you seen Kevin? He told me to hold his keys for him. He said he would lose them."
Kelly
"Oh, I don't do that anymore. After I found out that it's actually some creeper Pagan holiday, I realized that I was actually very offended as a Hindi. Hindu. Whatever."
Dwight
"My New Year's Resolution? My neighbor has been stealing beats from my fields for eleven days. Tonight, when he comes out, I will use my trebuchet to launch a bolder at his woodshed. Then, I will quickly dissemble it and burn the parts with my evening bonfire."
Ryan
"This year I'm really going to dive deeper within life, you know? Like, experience more. Get more. Take more from life. What's life going to do with it, you know? It doesn't need it."
Jim
"Maybe, if I buy eighty more packs, I could put his entire house in jello..."
