Her Derbyshire Friend

Summary: What if Elizabeth responded to Darcy's letter? This story begins the day after the Hunsford proposal. A Pride and Prejudice Novella.

Disclaimer: All characters are the creation of Jane Austen. © 2015.

Jane Austen Quote: "I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?" (Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 35)


Chapter 1

Hunsford Parsonage

Friday, 10 April

Dear Mr. Darcy,

I must assume that since you have taken the liberty of corresponding with me, that you will take no offence to receiving my response. I assure you that I have thoroughly read your letter and can only be ashamed of my false accusations against your character. I am forced to admit that my pride in my discernment and the ability to judge a man's character was completely misplaced. Furthermore, I must acknowledge that my blind acceptance of the reports against you has only served to prove that my vanity is my greatest fault.

You may recall that I mentioned that my opinion of you was formed at the moment of our acquaintance. On the night of the Meryton assembly, I overheard your comment to Mr. Bingley about my tolerable appearance; I was not handsome enough to tempt you. I attempted to dismiss your remarks as a great amusement to my family and friends but I must admit that my vanity was wounded to the core. I instantly resolved to dislike you in return, for no other reason than your obvious disdain for me. When I noticed you watching me, I could only suppose that it was for the single purpose of finding fault with me. Each time I caught your eyes, I was certain that you disapproved of me and I sought to disapprove of you in return. In reflection, I see now that your intent was quite the opposite of what I supposed. Mrs. Collins attempted to advise me of your affections and I must admit I gave no credence to her advice. I can only blame my inexperience in such matters for my inability to detect the nuances in a man's behaviour.

In the matter of Mr. Wickham, I find that I can hold no resentment against you. You warned me once of Mr. Wickham's happy manners and his easy ability to make friends. At the time, I chose to allow your statement to confirm his claims against you and further my resolve to dislike you. Now of course, I comprehend the meaning of your warning and am duly ashamed that I formed such an unfavourable impression of you. I value the trust you have placed in me by confiding in me and I promise that I will never repeat your sister's story to another soul. That you and your dear sister were so thoroughly misused at Mr. Wickham's hands, I am heartily sorry. That I believed his claims against you and used those claims to defame your character, I must beg your forgiveness although I am undeserving of such.

As for the matter of my sister's heart, I shall readily confirm that Jane never reveals her emotions. Unlike me, she is everything that a proper young woman ought to be. She would never show a preference for any suitor who has not yet declared himself. Doing so could jeopardize her reputation and Jane would never permit such a perilous outcome. While I know that her heart was fully engaged by the gentleman, he made no such declaration and she was content to simply be in his company. She was advised to make her feelings known to Mr. Bingley but she would never risk her reputation by committing such a faux pas and hoped that their continued acquaintance would produce the desired declaration. I am still of the belief that you had no just cause to question my sister's true motivation; however, I can perfectly understand your need to assist and protect your friend. I am similarly protective of my family and close friends.

I further understand your repugnance of my relations as they are frequently the source of mortification to me. However, I am a dutiful daughter and sister and I must defend them to the ends of the earth as we all must do for our embarrassing relations. I must confess that I suffer some confusion over your need to protect your friend from my relations. Why you would protect him from such a fate and willingly accept this fate yourself is a puzzlement to me. But yet again, I must blame my lack of understanding on my inexperience in these matters.

I must apologize again and again for my harshness and assure you that I harbour no abhorrence of you. My temper is far too short and my rush to judgement is far too quick. For both I must beg your forgiveness. You would be perfectly justified if you found yourself unable to forgive me; however, if you should find it in your heart to forgive my lapse in judgement, I hope that we may one day meet again as friends. I shall attempt to send this letter to you, although how that is to be accomplished is not yet clear. In closing, I wish you God's blessings.

Respectfully,

Elizabeth Bennet


There! She had done it! She had replied to Mr. Darcy's letter. She was unsure if she would ever send it and if she did, if he would ever read it, but she hoped that she had responded to each of his concerns openly and honestly. Despite claiming to have never desired his good opinion, she now hoped for his forgiveness. To have behaved so abominably and hurled such false accusations against a man of honour – Elizabeth shuddered at the memory.

["From the very beginning – from the first moment I may almost say – of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form that groundwork of disapprobation, on which succeeding events have built so immoveable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."] (1)

She closed her eyes and cringed at her abhorrent behaviour. She was a gently born woman and how she ever contrived to speak thusly to a gentleman was the source of her deepest shame.

She could not allow those hurtful words to be the last ones spoken between them. But how she was to go about sending the letter to Mr. Darcy was another matter entirely. He had taken great care to put his letter directly into her hands, eliminating the possibility of discovery. She knew perfectly well that exchanging correspondence with an unrelated man was strictly forbidden and could be the source of her ruin.

~~o~~

After a restless night and a quiet breakfast, Elizabeth sat in the parlour with Charlotte Collins and Maria Lucas, attending to their stitching projects. Charlotte had commented on her weary appearance and Elizabeth had to admit that she was a little fatigued. She had hoped that putting pen to paper would have put her uncertainties to rest but no such comfort was afforded her. She had tossed and turned, repeatedly hearing those same vile words that she had uttered to a man who had not deserved them. She had awakened that morning with the same feelings of remorse and uncertainty that had plagued her the day before.

After a wretched night of fretting over Mr. Darcy's letter and her own, she was determined, despite the consequences, that he should receive her reply. But she wondered how best to stamp the forbidden letter. Should she use her own stamp and risk discovery? She wondered if perhaps Charlotte would allow the use of her stamp; certainly no one would object to Charlotte sending a letter to Mr. Darcy. She then thought that perhaps she might steal into her cousin's study to apply his stamp. But no!-she had decided. The use of deception would not serve! Deception had been the cause of their disagreement and she could not continue in that same vein. She had addressed the letter, sealed it with wax and, with great determination, had affixed her own stamp.

Sitting in the parlour, she nervously waited for John, the footman, to collect the post. She knew that John brought the post to the station every morning and she had tucked her letter between the others piled on the hall table and added a few coins into the small bowl used to collect the postage. She had positioned herself in a chair where she could see the hall table and frequently glanced in that direction as she quietly stitched.

John finally lumbered into the hallway and paused at the table: "I'm off to the posting station then, Mrs. Collins," he called out to his mistress.

"Thank you, John," Charlotte replied with a smile.

Elizabeth watched him collect the letters and the coins, put them in his pocket and head out the door. "Yes, I thank you as well, John," she silently told him, returning her attentions to her stitches. She breathed a silent sigh of relief, releasing the tension she had been holding. She would be easier now.


(1) Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 34

Author's Note: Dialogue and text were generously borrowed from the masterpiece: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen (1813).

This story is continued in the e-book "Meryton Medley" by Cassandra B. Leigh. Please check my profile page for details.