Please realize that this is intended to be silly. The following things are simply the stuff I have learned while watching CSI. I take no responsibility for what anyone does with it. I don't own CSI. I'm not the one who put it on TV either. I just watch it and come up with all sorts of silly stuff.

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This was found hanging on the wall in the breakroom. .

How to Commit "The Perfect Crime" :

1) Always wear gloves.

2) Shave your head, or at least brush out all possible loose hairs before you go.

3) Don't bite. The reasons for this should be obvious, but just in case… if your teeth marks don't get you, the DNA you leave behind will.

4) If you are going to use duct tape or rope for anything, cut off a piece and destroy it so that the end does not match the rest.

5) Leave behind evidence that will point to some random person that you don't know.

6) Wear shoes that are too big, and belong to the opposite gender. Wear a weighted belt as well, to throw off the size and depth of any footprints you may leave behind.

7) Never use your own tools or get rid of them if you do. Plant them on some random stranger if possible.

8) Avoid breaking windows if possible. The likelihood of being cut by the glass is too high.

9) Always pay cash. Throw away the receipts.

10) Confusing witnesses, or causing them to have conflicting stories is far better than killing them. Killing them just leaves more evidence to follow. All you need in order to get away with it is "reasonable doubt."

11) A good reason for being there is better than a lie about not being there, but leaving no evidence that you were there is the best.

12) thanks to a reminder from a reviewer Always work solo... partners can squeal.

13) Realize that the perfect crime only exists in the imagination of the one planning it.