Fowl Manner July 7 2011
"Foaly what happened!" Yelled Artemis as his hands flew over his power book keyboard. Typing in commands so quickly that Holly who was standing behind his extravagant, leather seat could barely see his hands moving.
"I'm not sure, it looks like someone hacked the system!"
Artemis rolled his eyes. "Well obviously! D'arvit what is going on!" Artemis cursed.
The two genius's worked silently for a moment until Holly annoyed at being left out of the loop poked Artemis between the shoulder blades. "Artemis what is going on?"
Artemis glanced up at her "Their seems to have been a data breach on both my private network as well as the LEP database. Both occurred at the same time and seem to be originating from the same location." Explained Artemis, pointing at his screen showing both the manner and Haven below it flashing red, in cartoon like bouncing graphics.
Artemis groaned, he had developed this program specifically to help him explain technical details to Holly, Mulch, and Butler. It could display and simulate everything from a star supernova to the intricacies of an electronic circuit. Obviously someone, probably the twins had tweaked its realism settings.
Holly raised an eyebrow but ignored the obvious question instead settling on the more important one. "What's the hacker doing?"
Artemis frowned his pianist fingers still flying across the keyboard. "I'm not sure, but it looks like their going after certain segments of data. Is that what you see going on Foaly?" Asked Artemis looking up at the plasma screen where the centaur's face was being displayed in epic proportions, aluminum hat and all.
He nodded. "Yes, but they're going after the personal files nothing critical. Odd"
"Same here, they, uh the same thing is happening here Foaly." Said Artemis his cheeks reddening.
Holly looked at him perplexed to his reaction but the window the annoying Mud Man had on his screen a moment ago was already gone.
"wait I got it, here they -" Foaly was cut off the entire room fell silent and the screen in front of Artemis went dead.
A quick D'arvit along with several human profanities spewed from Artemis's mouth "What now!" he seethed.
The screen started back up a moment latter and the face's of a pixie and half pixie filled it.
"Opal!" growled both Artemis and Holly in unison.
The two crazed pixies laughed, the tinkling laugh of the full pixie mixing cruelly with her half human counterpart.
"Hello Fowl, Short. How are the two of you?" asked the younger pixie.
"Opal, what do you want now?" asked Artemis with an air of nonchalance, he was actually only mildly annoyed with her are this point, their were after all only so many times a person no matter how crazy could be threatening. He had watched several cartoons with the Twins and he found that the repartition of a single villain tired quickly turning them into something of an annoying comic. Like Opal.
"Oh no large plan's for now Fowl, just a little revenge." said the older half human Opal.
"We decided that your Critics as a United force and being A Big Fan of Most of your Things. We should show Holly something rather interesting that we found." said the Opal's in unison.
Artemis paled at heir threat, barely noticing their odd phrasing.
"Opal! Don't.. I'll give you whatever you want, a ton of gold, a horribly written last chapter to my life, the eternity code, just don't do that!" Said Artemis nearly begging with his nemesis.
Holly frowned at Artemis as the Opal's laughed again.
"What don't you want me to see Fowl?" asked Holly, her voice hard.
Artemis swallowed nervously and glanced between the crazed pixies and Holly's glare trying to decide which was more of a threat.
"Look at all of this Holly." said the younger Opal giggling.
The Plasma screen in Artemis's room lit up with dozens of lines of text which Holly ignoring the Irish man's protests began to read.
Artemis watched in terror as she did so, even the Opal's quieted down to watch the Major.
Holly's eyes ran through the words, heaving breasts, large, be careful Artemis, Lust, thrusts, Vampire grins.
The room was now deathly quite, not even breathing could be heard. The only change was the blushing of Artemis's face and Holly's ears.
"We'll leave the two of you at it then." Said the older Opal, as she cut the connection, preparing their own little package of revenge for Foaly.
"Artemis." Said Holly her voice quivering, with what Artemis could not identify. "What is all of this?"
Artemis looked away from her, waiting to receive quite a few blows to the head. "My uh, writing.." he said softly. Should he call for Butler? Was Holly finally going to have a reason to kill him?
"All of this is yours?" Asked Holly waving her hand at the hundreds of pages.
Artemis shrugged. "I had a little help."
Holly flew at the Mud Man.
Butler guffawed as the sounds of anger in Artemis's room changed from those of anger to lust, he had seen the tail end of Opal's little plan but it had quite obviously backfired if the sounds coming from the room were any indication.
With a sigh the bodyguard walked down the hallway and calmly stretched his right arm threw a punch forward breaking down the fourth wall. The readers at home real back in shock at the intrusion and freezing at the sight of Butler starring them down whimper slightly in fear.
"Not breaking any rules am I?" Asks Butler gruffly.
The terrified reader shakes their head.
"Pity, where's the fun if you don't break a few rules."
The reader gulps and regrets not having given their lawyer a Will.
"Artemis has never followed the rules, and look what it got him." explains Butler pointing back at his charges room where the shouting has only grown louder.
"Now that's a good ending right?" asks Butler, leaving the reader no illusion in their choice.
"Stay back human you have no idea what you're dealing with."
