Summary: AU–Hisoka lives with a sin that forever haunts him. Memories that are fading ghosts to him plagues his dreams while the living flesh and body of the one man representing his sin haunts him in reality. However, he continues to pray for forgiveness, but when a man dressed in black enters his life, he may just succumb to the darkness swirling inside him.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Author's Note: Characters may be out of character. This fanfiction has nothing to do with the manga/anime and will never be related to it. This will be yaoi, which means boy x boy. If you do not like that genre, please do not read. Rated M to be on the safe side.

Warning: Rated M for mature content.


Chapter One: The Man Dressed in Black

The sound of thunder crackled outside of the church. Lightning flashed through the sky as rain poured from the dark clouds. The pattering of the raindrops against the windows echoed in the silence. In the dimly lit church, a young boy knelt before the altar with his head bowed and hands wrapped over one another. The cross of Christ hung above his head as he murmured under his breath. "Forgive me my Lord, for I have sinned..." he whispered. Another thunder crackled through the sky. Startled, the boy glanced up from where he knelt and stared up at the cross. His lips quivered. God has not forgiven him. Tonight was a reminder of that for the sky was raining as God's tears and the thunder was his anger. He would never be forgiven for his sin. He shuddered at the thought. "Forgive me," he begged, a single tear falling from his large emerald eyes. Though now he was no longer asking God to forgive. He was begging the very soul of a certain someone, the image of the haunting boy that stained his memories, to forgive him. But never again would he ever hear the boy's angelic voice ring in his ears.

"It's quite late in the night to be here and praying for forgiveness," interrupted a voice from behind the boy.

Jumping from the man's voice, he slowly stood and faced the man. He stared at a silver eye with an emotionless expression. Eyes closed, he bowed to the man, "Good evening, Father Muraki," he greeted in a soft tone. He could hear a light chuckle from the man. Eyes opening slowly, he straightened himself and stared at the man again. Muraki was smiling at him, but the boy could almost see something sinister behind it. He quickly glanced away, hearing the sound of footsteps. He looked back and found Muraki standing in front of him, leaning over so their faces were mere inches apart.

"Good evening to you too, Hisoka," Muraki said quietly, "Praying again, are we?"

"Yes," Hisoka replied curtly.

"Such strong devotion."

"If I wish to ascend to paradise, I must have a strong devotion to God. Is that not what you preach to us every day?"

Another low chuckle from Muraki caused a shiver to run down his spine. Cold, slender fingers touched his face, running down from his left cheek to his jaw line. He could feel the older man's breath against his other cheek as the Father leaned down more, brushing his lips against his ear. He shivered, letting out a shaking breath. He waited patiently to let the man finish what he was doing. Fingers smoothed down his jaw line to his neck.

"Do you fear me child?" Muraki asked next to his ear.

Hisoka gulped and shook his head. "No Father Muraki," he answered with a stable voice, "For what reasons should I fear the man who guides our young hearts with God's words?"

"None...it is late. You should head to bed. The abbot, as much as he encourages us to pray, also does not allow the students to stay beyond curfew," Muraki informed as he stepped back to allow space between them again.

Hisoka nodded his head and walked passed Muraki. The long aisle seem to be even longer in the night. He stopped briefly before opening the door and turned to look at Muraki. Dressed in white, with silver hair gleaming when the silvery lighting flashed in the room, he was like an angel descending from heaven to wreck havoc among the tainted souls or worst...he was like an angel who fell from the heavens, wrecking havoc among the souls who devoted their life to God. A flash of memory from a long time ago flickered through his mind. Two bodies writhed against one another in heat. A heated breathing, turned into panting and begging for more. Slicked, sweaty bodies pushed on each other, harder and faster. Hisoka gulped, shaking his head to rid himself of the onslaught of images. They were memories he wanted to forget. Frowning slightly, Hisoka turned on his heels. Now that he thought about it, that night was so much like this night. Another shaking breath, filled with despair and self hatred. Never again did he want to remember, but they were tied to him, etched into his very flesh. His sin to remember. He quickly left for his dorm room, not wanting to stay near the church a minute longer.

Morning came with the sound of birds chirping and sunlight. It was as though the storm never happened. Hisoka walked through the hallways of the Catholic school. It was an all boy's school, so there was no room for the young boys to fall in love in school, but from time to time rumors of students having a relationship with one another would pass through the walls. A sin that was truly disgusting in the eyes of all. Sighing, Hisoka stopped in his tracks and turned to look at the garden. He leaned against the peachy color pillar, dazing out into the open. Water droplets glistened in the light, falling from the boughs of trees. They pattered against the leaves and petals of flowers and then sank into the dirt of the green grass. Hisoka noticed a vibrant, red rose among the other flowers. He was tempted to pick it, but if he did, he knew he would only get in trouble. Biting his lower lips, he turned away so that he wasn't looking at it anymore, but as he turned he found himself staring right into the petals of the same rose. Taken by surprise, he slightly gasped and took a step back. He stared at the rose for a while before allowing his gaze to drift up. His eyes locked with a pair of gentle, amethyst eyes. They were beautiful. Eyes like gems, gleaming softly with the utmost care. He wanted to get lost in them.

"You were staring at this rose like you wanted it, so I thought I would get it for you," said the man with a smile.

"The abbot would get mad at you for plucking such a rose," Hisoka said as he looked away from the man.

"Really? It's such a waste to have a beautiful flower like this just there. It should be given to a beautiful young maiden."

Hisoka's eyes widened at the man's words. He scowled and swatted the hand that was holding the flower away. He glared at the shocked man, insulted by his words. This was not the first time he was mistaken for a girl. He always knew his small shoulders, large eyes, and petite face was effeminate. But one would think being in an all boy's school, the man standing before him would have better judgment. "If you haven't noticed, this is an all boy'sCatholic school. There are no girls or women here. For your information, I am a boy," stated Hisoka with a frown, "Hmph!" He crossed his arms across his chest, ignoring the older man's shocked face and walked pass him. He kept his gaze on the floor as he walked, but glanced away briefly only to stop in tracks in surprise. The man was standing in front of him again. He looked over his shoulder, but there was no one there. Looking back to the man suspiciously, Hisoka opened his mouth to ask how the man had gotten in front of him so fast, but he was interrupted before he could ask.

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically, "My mistake. You were stunningly beautiful, I just thought you were a girl."

Hisoka blushed at his words, "I already told you that I'm a boy, so please refrain from saying that I'm beautiful. No man or boy would want to be called that."

"I see, then I'm sorry again. Ah, but here, take the rose. You seem to like it very much. It'd be a waste to throw it away now."

Hisoka hesitantly reached out and took the rose into his hand. A small smile graced his lips as he gazed at the rose lovingly. He looked up to thank the man, but he was gone. Hisoka stared at the empty space before him, holding tightly onto the rose. It was as if the man was an angel himself, whisking his thoughts away from the darkness. He hoped to see the man again. The chime of the bells echoed through the premises, indicating that it was time for prayers. Opening his bible, he placed the stem of the rose between the pages of the thick book and then closed it. He heaved a sigh and made his way to the church.

Among the crowd of students, Hisoka sat in the middle of them all. With his book open, he listened as Muraki preached the words of Gods. Towards the end of the sermon, the Father made one last prayer just as the doors to the building opened. Hisoka looked to see the same man from earlier who had given him the rose walked down the aisle. His eyes followed the man as he ascended the alter to stand besides Muraki. All the students looked up at him and a wave of murmur drifted through the crowd. Standing before all of them was a strange man. A necklace of the cross hung around his neck, glimmering when the beam of the sunlight hit it. His amethyst eyes swept over the bodies of students, but they fell upon Hisoka, staring at him as though it saw right through him. Hisoka held his breath at the sight of such a beautiful creature standing on the altar as the light from the windows shined upon him. Standing besides Muraki, the man was like the opposite of him. While Muraki dressed in all white with white hair and silver eyes, the man wore all black graced with beautiful eyes. White cuffs touched the neckline and sleeves of the robe the man wore, but other than that, everything was black. He was like a fallen angel.

"I almost forgot to mention," said Muraki as he pushed his glasses up, "This is Father Tsuzuki. As we all know, Father Mizuki passed away due to an illness. Father Tsuzuki will now be taking his place as the music instructor. Now let us all have a moment of silence for Father Mizuki and our most beloved student, Hijiri. May both their spirits rest in peace."

After a few minutes of silence, Muraki dismissed the students. They filed out slowly, whispering amongst themselves about the new teacher. Hisoka got up to leave, catching one last glimpse of Tsuzuki before he left the building and Tsuzuki's figure disappeared from his line of sight. As he walked down the hall to enter his class, he heard some of the students comment about how gorgeous the Father was. Hisoka's lips twitched slightly at the name. They were words that were once whispered when Father Mizuki had first entered. Old memories flooded him. He only hoped nothing would ever repeat like it did before.

Classes afterward went by quickly and soon it was already his last class. Hisoka entered the half filled room, quickly glancing at the front of the room to see Tsuzuki sitting down in his chair. As though he could feel Hisoka's gaze on him, Tsuzuki looked up and again their gaze met. For a moment, Hisoka thought time had stopped, but the voices around him told him otherwise. He was the first to look away, heading to his desk in the back of the room. When the class was filled, Tsuzuki began his lesson. Hisoka found the man to be clumsy. Throughout the lesson, the class was filled with laughter and his jokes. Hisoka, however, never broke a smile or a laugh. He opened his bible and noticed the rose slip out from the pages. He stared at the red petals. It was a beautiful color in his stark gray world. He carefully tucked the rose back into the bible, making sure it wouldn't fall out again before began reading it, zoning out all the noises around him. "But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts up my head. I cry to God with my voice, and he answers me out of his holy hill..." he read under his breath.

"-soka! Hisoka!" called out Tsuzuki.

Hearing his name being called, Hisoka looked up and glanced around the room, realizing that all eyes were on him. They were staring at him like he was a bit crazy. He brought his gaze back to Tsuzuki who was smiling cheerfully at him. He didn't know why this man was always so cheery looking. Even when they had first met and when he stood on the altar before the students, he was smiling. It made Hisoka a little annoyed.

"Ahhh, there you go with that frown again," said Tsuzuki, "If you keep frowning like that, you'll get wrinkles!"

The class laughed, but Hisoka's frown remained. He did not like being disturbed when he was reading his bible. It was his only way of escape, his only way of feeling as if he was atoning for the sin he was to live with forever. "Father Tsuzuki, I don't think teaching includes making jokes throughout the lesson. I believe that I learned a lot more from reading the bible than listening to your jokes," he stated bluntly.

The class looked away in awkwardness. Tsuzuki stared at him for a while and then looked away to dismiss the class. Hisoka got up, closing the book and left first before anyone else. Dinner was being prepared and most students would run to the cafeteria after the last class, but Hisoka never did such a thing. He seated himself on a brown bench in the garden, watching the sunset. Brushing a few locks of his blond hair behind his ears, he traced the letters on the bible that was seated on his lap. He closed his eyes and listened carefully to the sound of nature surrounding him. The peacefulness stilled his wavering heart. A soft breeze nipped his skin, carrying a familiar voice on its back. He could hear the voice ringing within him, echoing deep inside him. It shook him to the core.

"Hisoka!" yelled a familiar voice, "Look!"

It was such an angelic voice. How he longed to hear it again, but not in memories. He wanted to hear it in real life again, but no more will that voice laugh childishly at him. He could still see the face of the boy whose voice continues to haunt him. It was a face so similar to his. The same green eyes, but they were eyes that smiled more, brighter and brilliant. People would flock to him because of it...that and his skillful violin playing along with his melodic angelic voice. No one could not have noticed him. He was young, beautiful, charismatic, and cheerful. The opposite of him who was more silent and often kept to himself. But he did not need anyone else because that boy was there to love him. He did not anyone...or so he had thought. He frowned, remembering when he had laid his eyes on Father Mizuki. The man was truly an angel with fair hair and skin and a gentle smile. A smile similar to a particular someone he had just met. His eyes fluttered open. He blinked and realized a pair of amethyst eyes were staring at him. Gasping, he jolted at the sight.

"Oh!" Tsuzuki said, "Didn't mean to startle you. I thought you were asleep and wanted to wake you up. Tonight is a little chilly and I didn't want any students to catch a cold."

"I...wasn't," Hisoka said with a small frown.

"You're always frowning." Tsuzuki tilted his head to the side with a worry look. "If you're ever in need of talking to someone, I'm here to listen."

"I'm fine."

"I see...you're always alone too."

"What does that matter?"

"Should you not go and be with your friends? I think that will cheer you up very much."

"I don't have any."

"You don't?!"

Hisoka raised a brow at the shock look on Tsuzuki's face. It was exaggerated with his hands placed on either side of his cheek. He rolled his eyes and adjusted himself on the bench. Reluctantly, he scooted over to let Tsuzuki sit down, but he didn't say a word to him. However, his gesture was enough to let Tsuzuki know because the man quickly sat down beside him with a childish grin plastered on his face. Hisoka glanced away, tightening his grip on the bible in his lips. It seem to catch the attention of the new Father because he pointed to it.

"You're very serious about your loyalty to God, aren't you?" asked Tsuzuki.

Hisoka looked at him and said quietly, "Because I can only ask for forgiveness from God."

"For forgiveness? Why is that? Why not pray for protection?"

"You won't understand."

"Hmm..."

Tsuzuki turned to look at him, smiling as usual. He grinned and patted Hisoka's head, disheveling his hair. Hisoka scowled and slapped Tsuzuki's hand away. He glared at the older man, but Tsuzuki merely laughed at him. He disliked being treated like a child. After all, he was no longer a child after everything that happened. Crossing his arms across his shoulder, he looked away from the older man.

"I'll be taking off then," said Tsuzuki as he got up to stretch his arms, "Don't stay out too long Hisoka. You might catch a cold. I wouldn't want you missing out on class. By the way, you should eat more. You're so skinny!"

Tsuzuki wrapped his hand around Hisoka's wrist and grinned. Rolling his eyes, he tugged his hand away and grunted. Tucking the bible under his arms, he watched as Tsuzuki walked away. His black clothes fluttered as the wind began to pick up. Shivering from the cold, Hisoka decided it was time for him to leave too. He grabbed something to eat in the cafeteria to appease his growling stomach before leaving.

In the dark corridors of the dorms, Hisoka walked silently through them with a lantern in hand. He footsteps echoed through the long halls, setting an eerie feeling through the building. Stopping abruptly, he strained his ears, listening to another echo of footsteps. It was coming from in front of him and heading towards him. He remained in his place, watching as the dark silhouette of the figure revealed himself. Muraki was walking towards him with a cold smile plastered on his face. Hisoka dropped his gaze to the floor as his body became stiff. Muraki stopped in front of him, chuckling as he tipped Hisoka's head up by the chin.

"Out late again?" he asked.

"...yes," answered Hisoka, "You're out late yourself."

"Just checking on the students. I wouldn't want any rumors spreading again."

"I see."

Muraki removed his fingers from the bottom of Hisoka's chin and continued on his way. However, Hisoka could still feel the lingering presence of Muraki's fingers. He touched them softly and shivered at the thought of it. They were fingers he knew intimately, but hated them. Disgusted from the touch, he wiped his chin as if hoping it would rid him of the feeling of being tainted. When his chin was rubbed raw and red, he lifted the lantern back up and started walking again. As he walked back to his room, he began to whisper to calm himself, "Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the Lord's law. On his law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also does not wither. Whatever he does shall prosper..." Exhaling a shaky sigh, Hisoka opened the door to his room. Walking in, he set the lantern on top of the small end table besides his bed. The bed squeaked under his weight as he lied down to sleep. Turning to lie on his side, he stared at the empty bed across from him.

"Good night Hijiri," he murmured as he fell into slumber.

He dreamed a dark dream, a dream of a man dressed in black who had come to take his life.


A/N: So this was the rewrite of the first chapter. Not much difference. I just added some stuff. I am hoping to restart this fanfic. DX I don't even know why I never continued it. Anyways, I will try to update soon.