Disclaimer: I do not own Covert Affairs, or the characters. This is my take on the episode Letter Never Sent.
Annie's POV:
I couldn't help but think about what Danielle had said. Did my voice really change when I simply talked to Auggie? I had hoped I was hiding how much I truly cared about him. Had I really been failing this badly? I sighed as I walked into the car garage Auggie was currently playing in.
"Where can a girl get a ficus around here?" I said smiling as I walked around his car. He inhaled sharply and winced before answering. "Ummm… About the ficus. Never leave a plant with a blind guy." He said apologetically. I frowned, "great. So you killed my plant." I sighed as I leaned against the trunk with him.
"How was your trip?" he asked to which I sighed and looked away. "I know, I heard. Annie… You have to understand. That's a part of the job you're going to have to get used to. It's just…. Sometimes you can't help that." I stared ahead a moment before I replied. "I can still hear the ringing of the shot, can still feel the gun recoiling in my hand, and can smell the lead and the iron of blood. That's something I'll never get used to Auggie. How can I? I took a life today. Whether he deserved it or not doesn't change anything. I still…. I still killed him."
Auggie, though he couldn't see, looked at me in that knowing way he has. The look that says he can see you, even without his eyes. "Annie you know the DPD has people to talk about this kind of thing. We have psychologists you can talk to." I lay my hand on top of his, "But the only person I want to talk to is you." He smiled and held my hand a little tighter. "And I you. I have something for you, actually." He replied before handing me a manila envelope. I looked at him funny before opening it and gasped when I realized what it was.
"You're giving me your car?" I asked incredulously. He nodded and smiled as I sat there in shock. "You want to go for a ride?" I asked in a moment of sheer excitement and hope. "I can't. I have a plane to catch." My heart sunk as I swallowed to get the courage to ask him, "Where you going?" He turned slightly away from me then, and pulled his hand away, which made my heart collapse even more. "I'm going to look a person in the eye, so to speak, and get something off my chest. Say what I need to say."
I stood then and fought the tears that were threatening to spill over. "I hope they hear you." I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek gently. "I know she will." With that I walked around the side of the car and got in. "Goodbye Auggie." I whispered before starting the engine and leaving. I didn't get far, just far enough for him to think I had actually left and not be able to hear the engine. I cried into my hands then. My heart was breaking, but the worst thing was that I knew it was all my fault. I was the one who had waited too long to get the courage to finally tell him how I felt. But it was too late now. I couldn't tell him anything. He was going to chase down Parker. I just knew it. And with that realization, all hope of the two of us ever being together, shattered like china.
I hiccupped a few more times and hastily wiped my tears and drove to the only place I knew could comfort me at that moment; Danielle's. I ran to her porch and knocked on the door as the rain began to fall. When she took in my appearance, she ushered me into the house and directly to the kitchen. I walked over to the freezer, got a quart of ice cream out, found two spoons and slammed it on the counter. I handed her a spoon, took the lid off and quickly ate a large bite. She followed suit for a few moments before she spoke.
"I think you should move back in." she shoved another bite into her mouth and I stared at her for a second before my reply. "I'd love to." We ate in silence for a few more minutes before she hesitantly asked what had happened. I took a deep breath, trying to find the best words for what had happened. "Well for starters, Auggie killed my ficus. Then we talked a little about…. What I had to do. Then he sort of tried to convince me to go see one of our department psychologists and I informed him, he was the person I wanted to talk to. He gave me his car, and then he told me he had to go catch a flight to look someone in the eye and get something off his chest. So…. I left. And came here."
"Is it… Did he leave for a girl?" she asked and I bit my lip to stifle the onslaught of tears I knew would come if I opened my mouth. She took my silence as an affirmative answer and wrapped me up in a hug. "If he can't see what's been right in front of him for a few years, then he doesn't deserve you." I can't help the bitter laugh that escapes at her choice of words. "He can't see anything Danielle. He was blinded in an accident in Iraq. Though somehow I don't think it would have changed his mind on Parker." She rolls her eyes after the initial shock of hearing about his… impairment.
"Annie, blind or not, I'm talking metaphorically here. Not literal. His eyes aren't what's blind in this case sweetie." I can't quite squelch the sob that escapes then. I hadn't realized how much this truly hurt until Danielle bluntly pointed out all the facts. I let the tears fall again as I bit my lip to contain the sobs. "Auntie Annie!" the girls had obviously come seeking their mother, but noticed me and ran to me. I quickly flicked the tears away and smiled as I scooped them up in my arms. Katia put her tiny hand on my face and looked at me, "Auntie Annie? Why are you sad?"
I looked at her and couldn't lie. "I just had a bad day." This wasn't technically a lie. I had had a horrible day. I had accidentally put my older sister's life at risk, and ruined her vacation. I had to shoot a man. My contact as well as my handler was shot, and even an inconsequential secretary had lost her life; all because of me. I felt like a mess. I was a mess. Danielle, thankfully, hastened the girls to bed so we could be alone. When she finally got them settled and was walking back towards me the doorbell rang and she sighed before turning to answer the door.
I couldn't hear anything but murmurs, and angry ones from the tone of voice Danielle was using, before she sighed again and called out to me. "Annie? Annie, it's for you." I walked to the door and froze when I saw Auggie standing in the doorway. Danielle looked at me and rested her hand on my shoulder before leaving us alone.
"What…. What are you doing here? I thought you had a plane to catch?" I asked in a whisper, trying to keep the emotions swirling through me from shaking my voice. He was supposed to be on his way to God knows where trying to get his girlfriend back. Trying to convince Parker that they could work long distance. He took a step in and closed the door quietly before replying. "I told you I had to see someone and look them eye to eye. That wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't what you think it was." He took a step closer to me and I inhaled a shaky breath.
"Then why are you here? You should have caught your plane. You should be on your way to Park…" I started, but he interrupted me with a growl of, "Don't say her name." I swallowed and stared at him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Annie, you were supposed to leave on another assignment tonight. Did you know that? Joan was waiting for you to come back, but you didn't. You talked to me and went home. She wanted to send you off again for some other mission. You would have landed, oh about, right now, had you shown up to receive your assignment and made it to the plane."
I looked at him a moment longer before I could reply. "I was? Joan's going to kill me…" He looked truly upset then. "Annie, the person I wanted to look face to face, was you. I was…. God, I was going to…" he was legitimately flustered, something I had never seen him be before. He walked the rest of the way to me until I was between him and the wall and cupped my face in his hands. "I was going to do this." And then, before I could react in any way, he was kissing me. Hard, passionately, everything I had ever dreamt of feeling during this moment was nothing compared to how it actually felt. And when we had to pull away, me slightly panting for air, his lips immediately kissed my face.
He kissed his way back to my lips and stole my breath again. "It was you I wanted. You I was trying to win over. You that I love." My breath caught at his last statement. "You… You love me? Really?" Tears welled back up and as they fell, he gently wiped them away. "Of course I do you crazy, beautiful, lunatic. I'd have to be blind not to." He whispered and I giggled a little at his terrible pun. He smiled before pulling me back to him. "I'm sorry I made you cry. I never thought you'd respond like this…" I smiled at the ground trying to hide the blush currently creeping up my face.
He kissed me again. "Come home with me. I'd like to make you dinner. Unless you've already eaten…?" he asked, leaning his forehead on mine. "Dinner would be lovely. Unless you count the ice cream Danielle and I just ate dinner, in which case yes, I've already…" I started rambling and he cut me off with his lips. He slid his hand down my arm to capture my small hand in his and started to go towards the door, and I smiled. As we left I heard the distinct sound of Danielle saying, "Finally!" under her breath.
That's all folks! Please review. I do SO love them(:
