A sin unsought

A Madlax fanfiction by regie27

Standard disclaimers apply

"Ever dance with the devil by the pale moon light?"

Jack Nicholson as The Joker, Batman

Madlax wasn't sure if the moon hanging high up in the sky, its reflection fusing furtively with the shadows through the open window until all that was dark was banished by the light, was red or blue. Since that day when the dawn of a new era had been brought upon by the three books, there were moments that the pale yellowish countenance of the moon turned either red or blue, just to return to its normal shade. But as her sight wandered lazily towards the window, she could swear that certain nights when magic and mystery were secretly conjured, twin satellites came to adorn the firmament, stirring the darkest depths of the heart, inciting the veiled desires on the hearts of men.

Madlax couldn't see the shade of the moon that illuminated that chilly night, but somehow she could sense it was red. Red as the passion she had just extinguished with the woman that lay beside her, the one that could confound her thoughts and alter her senses, to the point of almost warping her sense of morality. The one who made true a sinister wish she'd never wished for and changed her destiny forever.

The bed creaked under the weight of the body that shifted to face her. The agent sensed alluring warmth that seemed to wash over her, shielding her from the coldness of the night. The deceivingly fine hands that rested over the pillow spoke of danger and lethality, of the precision on the art of death that could only be rivaled by herself and her own deadly talents. Yet at the same time those same hands evoked memories of caresses and touches born from raw passion that could be ignited by the smallest of gestures and the briefest of words. Enticement seeped from every pore of the dark skinned curves and unconsciously, she turned around to welcome her to her arms, wishing to be swept away once again by her dark magnetism, wishing for her to push away the guilt that menaced to engulf her alive.

"Why so silent all of a sudden?" the woman whispered almost inaudibly with her trademark husky voice as long fingers entwined playfully with her dark blonde locks.

Her eyes remained glued towards the ceiling as she glanced transfixed at the shadow plays. "Just lost in thought, that's all."

"And what are you thinking right now?" her companion inquired as she propped her head up on her elbow.

Madlax glanced at her, catching slivers of light of the blue moon, or was it red…? piercing the dark orbs. "Nothing and everything at the same time. I'm not sure if you could understand…"

The former officer smiled knowingly. "I can actually relate. I've been through the same thing too lately. My head might be devoid of all thoughts and yet I feel it is about to explode with all the things I'm able to perceive even when my mind can't seem to focus on any thoughts at all." Madlax nodded in acknowledgment.

"But with you" the sniper added "I can quiet down the voices that won't stop talking, the ones that speak of my darkest deeds…the ones that speak with the voices of the dead." Limelda eyes scanned the younger woman's face, searching for any expression that could hint at what seemed to be tormenting her soul. Alas, her face was again akin to the fabled sphinx, majestic and enigmatic. Madlax's very existence was much of an enigma to the former officer and she wondered if she would ever glimpse at what could lie beneath the enigma.

A sympathetic smile curved on Madlax's lips. She could relate perfectly to what Limelda said and yet, of all the voices that murmured relentlessly to her ear, only one was clearly discernible. "Did you wish for this to happen Madlax?" the voice questioned her over and over. Madlax swore to the voice and to herself that it wasn't true. How could she wish for something so vile, so wrong? She couldn't be capable of wanting something so despicable to happen and yet, destiny had provided a convenient way to end the conflict that pulled relentlessly at opposite sides of her heart. On one side lay loyalty, camaraderie, a selfless friendship. On the other side lay mystery, passion, a sense of a shared kinship forged by fire and blood. And with just one bullet, the decision had been made for her. But even as tears began to gather in her eyes as quickly as crimson blood began soaking the fallen woman's blouse while her life faded away, a voice that crept deep within the dark confines of her soul realized what had just happened. It simply stated: "you don't have to choose anymore." And in that instant, just as she had once become Margaret Burton's sin, Limelda Jorg became hers. Madlax had never meant for Limelda to break the impasse like that just as Margaret had never meant for Madlax to embody her sin and yet, it had happened anyway. And just as Margaret had been able to go on for years without the burden of her deed, Madlax knew that she could never consciously blame herself for what had happened to Vanessa Rene that fateful day. But still, the voice wasn't convinced by her innocence. And sometimes, Madlax doubted it herself.

"I can't stand seeing you so sad Madlax" the sniper murmured against her lips. Madlax inhaled deeply as her eyes began to close in anticipation.

"You can push the sadness and the loneliness away, Limelda."

Soon her mouth clung to the sniper's lips in desperation, seeking for validation, for acceptance. The room filled with the heated haze of their desire as the two of them sought for justification for their lives, for a reason for their existence. Later, as passions were spent and the ghosts had been exorcised for another day, Madlax stared quietly at her sleeping companion.

"In the end, I chose you and that's why you are now my sin, Limelda."

- Fin -