1Nymphadora Tonks looked out her window. Despite the fact that it was nearing dark, she could still see the hunched figure outside. Even though she knew that he didn't want her to know, she could tell it was Remus Lupin. Why is he outside in this weather? And why is he sitting in front of my flat? I'm going to find out.
But she knew that if she just went out and asked, he would apparate before she could reach him. I hate not talking to him, she thought, I have it! I'll send him a letter! She got a pen and a piece of paper.
Remus,
I know you're out there. Why are you sitting outside my flat on a cold night? Please come up. I'll make some cocoa. I want to see you.
And we need to talk.
Tonks
Tonks sent the letter flying out the window.
Remus Lupin looked up as he heard a window open and close. She knows I'm here, he thought just as her letter appeared.
Why am I here? He thought. I don't know. But in his heart he did.
Earlier that evening, Remus had been on his way to the Weasley's from Hogwarts, when he took a detour to Hogsmeade. Somehow, he had ended up outside of Tonks' apartment. He knew why. It was because he needed to see her. Because he needed to make sure she was OK. Because he loved her. He quickly wrote her a reply.
Tonks watched out her window as Remus read her note and replied. She opened it quickly.
Nymphadora,
No.
Sincerely,
Remus
Tonks glared at the note. Not because he called her Nymphadora (she was used to it by now) but because of what the letter said. He had wrote that answer she hadn't wanted and then signed it "sincerely" not love or yours truly but SINCERELY! He thinks he's making it easier, Tonks thought.
Remus,
Why? Please come up!
Love,
Tonks
A minute later, a reply came.
Nymphadora,
I won't come up because I know what you want to "talk" about. We've been over this a million times. IT WON'T WORK!
Remus
Tonks read the letter with tears in her eyes. Why did he have to be so stubborn?
Remus,
How do you know it won't work? When have we tried it? And don't you DARE say it's a CHILDISH CRUSH! You know as well as me that it isn't!
Tonks
She sent it flying out the window with extra force.
Remus sighed as he read her letter. She isn't going to give up, he thought.
Nymphadora,
I understand this isn't a childish crush. But I've told you a hundred times that I'm too old, too poor and most importantly too dangerous. I'm sorry.
Remus
And that was the truth. He was sorry it couldn't work. He was sorry he made her mad. And he was sorry that she had ever met him.
30 seconds later he got a reply.
Remus,
I've told you a million times I DON'T CARE! You aren't OLD, just OLDER than ME. I don't give a damn that you don't have a lot of money! Its not like its YOUR fault! I've got a pretty big savings and a good paying job we would be fine. As for you being dangerous, that's only once a month and if you take your Wolfsbane... You know what I mean. Besides, I'm an Auror, my LIFE is dangerous!
Love,
Tonks
Remus knew Tonks had reasons just as good as him. She's not going to give up until I give in, he thought. That might as well be now.
Nymphadora,
Are you sure? Are you sure you're ready to face the dangers and take risks? You know people are going to treat you like they treat me. I don't want that for you.
What happens if I can't get my potion? What if I accidently hurt you during a full moon? I couldn't live with myself!
You know I'm doing this because I love you. Please rethink this.
Remus
As soon as Tonks read his reply, she smiled. She quickly wrote a reply and through it out the window but as soon as she did, she wished she hadn't.
Remus read the note as soon as he got it and immediatly became angry. He could barely write a reply.
Remus,
DUH! Of course I'm ready for the danger!
Tonks
Tonks,
I can see you didn't take anything I just said seriously. All of it is VERY serious, especially my lycanthropy. I can tell you right now this isn't going to work if you don't take anything seriously. I'm sorry this didn't work out. I'm afraid all you feel for me is a childish crush.
Remus
Tonks burst into tears as she read the letter. How can this be over before it even started? she thought sadly as she wrote a reply.
Remus,
Why do you do this to me? How can you tell me I just have a crush? Are you that blind? Let me tell you something you probably don't know.
I keep track of every full moon. I know the phases of the moon and when they are. I have almost every single book on werewolves there is. Why? Because after I met you, I wanted...no, NEEDED to know about that stuff.
Every full moon, I'm probably more nervous than you. I take off work on those nights unless its for the Order. Do you know what I do? I worry and lately, I cry. Are you OK? Did something happen? Are you in more pain than normal? Do you know how much I want to come and make sure you are ok? I never do because I know you wouldn't like it but its awful.
Oh and do you know why my hair isn't some bright color and why I seem depressed? No, not because of Sirius but because of YOU! And do you know what these wet spots are? TEARS! Tears that are being cried because of YOU! Is it still a childish crush now?
I love you! I'm not denying that you don't become dangerous once a month because I know its true. But I'm not going to run away because I'm afraid of you. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone if you could stop it. So don't tell me I don't take anything you say seriously because I do. I just don't show it as much as you would think.
I love you!
Tonks
Remus read her letter in shock. She really did all of those things? For him?
Instead of writing back, he got up and walked to her door. His knock was answer by a sad looking and crying Tonks. Remus took one look at her and hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her head, "I do love you." For now, that was all that needed to be said.
AN: Ok, when I woke up this morning, this was stuck in my head. I had to write it and decided to post it. I'm not sure if its any good but if you read this far, you might as well review and tell me if you liked it and what I can do to improve it.
I'm also looking for a BETA.
HS
