Another story in the Buffy/Community fusion universe of Shirley the Vampire Slayer. It's not necessary to read that one, if you haven't. As long as you know the character breakdown you'll be okay: Shirley=Buffy, Annie=Willow, Abed=Giles/Watcher, Jeff=Spike, Troy=Xander, Britta=Anya, Pierce=Cordelia. Other non-Study Group Community characters mostly appear as themselves. :)
Chapter 1
"Are you sure you want to try to watch Doomswhen again?" Abed was asking Troy as the Study Group walked down the hall from Study Room F.
"I've got to make it through somehow," Troy answered. Shirley could hear his voice break a little as he continued, "Why does the Inspector have to change Constables anyway... at least tell me that Reggie gets a happy ending?"
"No. No spoilers. If you want to know, you have to watch..." He turned down a left-hand corridor toward the parking lot.
Britta put her hand on Troy's shoulder. "Do you want me to come? We just covered the Companioning Model of Bereavement and I need practice."
Troy frowned and shook his head, then shrugged and nodded. They both hurried to catch up to Abed.
Shirley shifted her books in her arms and turned to Annie. "So, any big plans for tonight?"
Pierce answered instead. "I'm going clubbing. See you losers later!" He pretended to see someone up ahead, and called out, "Megan! Need a ride?"
Shirley shook her head as they watched Pierce hop to catch up to his unseen friend. "I'm glad that man has a chauffeur..." She turned back to Annie. "Anyway, what about you?"
Annie looked after where the boys had gone with Britta. "No, not really. I've already seen that episode – don't tell Troy – so I might study up on this spell I've been wanting to try."
"Okay, good luck!"
Annie nodded cheerfully and peeled off toward the rare documents section.
Shirley double-checked her new class schedule for the room number, and kept going down the hall. As she walked, her happy demeanor slowly shifted into nervousness. Now that everyone had gone their separate ways, she had a niggling feeling that something was wrong, something was... off.
And she had learned not to ignore these feelings when they came. For a Slayer, it could mean the difference between life and death.
Greendale itself seemed normal as far as she could tell – that is, as normal as Greendale ever got. Shirley was almost certain that Greendale would be the weirdest community college on earth – even if it weren't directly above the Hellmouth.
She checked the time on the hall clock. 6:55. She still had plenty of time to get to her class, claim a seat in the back, and stay alert for whatever was making her senses ping like a double-reinforced cookie sheet.
"Evening, Shirley," a voice said from behind just as she reached the classroom door.
She froze, and turned toward the voice. "Evening... Jeffrey." Jeff Winger, the vampire pain in her ass. He seemed to be finding more and more reasons to run into her lately. What was he doing here, out in the open, in the middle of the hallway?
He smiled, teeth glinting preternaturally white in the fluorescent lighting. "Looks like we're classmates." He fluttered his own class schedule at her.
"We're...?" She glanced through the windows to the outside. Completely dark, as it should be at almost 7pm. In a quiet voice, she asked, "They let vampires take classes now?"
"Of course." He nodded at one of the posters tacked to the wall outside the classroom. "'You're Already Accepted,' right?"
"So that must be the natural progression. Traditional students... then students who will transfer to bigger schools later... then dropouts... then retirees... then drug addicts... then bums off the street... then vampires, I suppose," she said, mock-thoughtfully. "What's next? Werewolves? Ghosts? Zombies? Slime Monsters? That's really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Oh, wait... that already happened when they let you in," she tossed off as she made her way into the room and to the back row.
"I promise I will make this class more interesting," Jeff said, adding an air kiss. He took a seat in front and one row over from hers.
When Shirley was registering for classes this term, she'd been annoyed that the only time one of the classes she needed to graduate was offered was at night. It cut into both family time and Slayer time. In fact, a whole slew of new classes, actual classes, had been added to Greendale's night school program – to help shore up the budget, she had assumed.
Glancing at Jeff again, she shook her head and mentally kicked herself. How could she forget what the Dean's interest in revamping the evening classes would mean? She wondered how many other vampires were sitting in the room right now – or sitting in any of the other night classes.
Professor Whitman breezed through the doors at exactly 7:00. "Good evening, ladies, gentlemen."
"Monsters," Shirley whispered, knowing Jeff would pick it up with his vampire hearing.
He smirked back at her.
"Welcome to Business Law," Whitman said, gesturing grandly.
Shirley wondered what this class would be like – she remembered the last class she'd taken with Whitman. But it was a requirement for her business major, and she needed the credits. If Whitman spent the whole term sending them on nature walks or leading them in meditation, she planned to learn the subject anyway. She had been carrying around the textbook in her handbag, reading it in snippets when on graveyard duty, just in case.
What use could Jeff possibly have for the class? She glanced over at him again. He was texting someone on his cell phone. She rolled her eyes.
Whatever the reason was, he was here. Ever since the night the Twilighters struck Greendale a few months ago, hardly a week had gone by when he hadn't shown up. He would be in the graveyard, 'just passing through,' or 'having a coffee' with a different girl at the diner she liked to grab a bite from before heading home, or passing on tips about where vampire mischief might be going down, 'you know, just to be friendly.'
She had no idea why a vampire would be trying to score brownie points with the Slayer – unless it was to save his own skin.
As class went on, the odd sense that something was off faded slightly, and she settled in for an hour and a half of trading life stories and snapping their fingers whenever someone shared an inspirational comment. Finally, fifteen minutes before the end of class, Whitman announced, "It's time to pair up for your first assignment!"
Everyone groaned.
Except Jeff, who turned in his seat to whisper, "I wonder if we get to choose our own partners?"
"Yeah, I wonder..." she said, eyes flashing around the room to see if she recognized anyone from her other business classes. She tapped her chin. "Who will I choose?" she asked the air breezily.
He laughed, but not confidently. Let him squirm.
"We shall choose our partners randomly," Whitman announced. "How better to get to know your classmates!" Whitman began walking around the classroom, passing out small slips of paper. "Write your name down, and place it in the fishbowl, or as I like to call it, the luck-bowl!"
Shirley gave Jeff a look. His smile was suddenly a lot more confident.
~0~0~0~
At the end of class, Shirley left the classroom as quickly as possible and headed toward the parking lot. She whirled at Jeff's touch on her shoulder, her trusty stake, Alpha, spinning into her hand without conscious thought. "What?"
Jeff took a step back, raising his hands in surrender. "Whoa, Slayer."
She lowered the stake. "Sorry. Force of habit."
He kept his eyes on the stake until she put it safely away. "You left before we could work out our schedules." He raised one eyebrow in mock-reproach. "Now that we're partners..."
Shirley harrumphed. He had obviously rigged the drawing, using vampire speed. She should never have let him choose first. Now she was going to have to spend more of her precious evening hours working on a project – with a vampire. She could almost feel all her Slayer predecessors rolling in their graves.
He continued, nonplussed. "...I think we should..."
And it was already starting. "Can it wait? I have a family to get home to."
"Give me a chance to make my proposal."
"Proposal? I am a married woman, Jeffrey."
"And you never let me forget it," he said smoothly. He did his best to project a harmless expression, but Shirley knew well what a lady-killer he was. Literally. "We should take advantage of all that time you have blocked out in the study room."
"Not now. If I don't get home before nine, I'll miss reading the boys their bedtime story. Call me later." Shirley simply turned and continued on her way. She was not surprised to hear the click of his Italian-leather shoes as he followed after her. Now he was crossing out of pain in the ass territory to... well, she couldn't very well dust him out here in front of God and everyone. Not without more cause than being an annoying son of a b–
"Whoa, there! You almost knocked me over, Ms. Bennett!" The Dean reared back as she almost plowed into him.
"Pardon me," she said, sidestepping him.
It gave Jeff ample time to get right in front of her. "C'mon, Shirley. It won't take long."
The Dean appeared in Shirley's way again. "What's this? Is there some sort of student conflict I could help settle?"
"No," Shirley and Jeff said at the same time. Shirley gave him an odd look. Jeff added, "Just a disagreement between friends, Craig." Dean Pelton preened at the use of his given name. Shirley's look turned even odder. Did they know each other?
"If we're going to work on this project together," she said sweetly, but letting a dangerous edge seep through, "you're going to have to respect my boundaries. Family time is sacred." She fingered the stake in her purse idly, to keep from blowing up.
"Fine," Jeff answered. "When's your next Study Group meeting? If it's late enough, I could sit in..."
The odd anxious feeling came back full force. She narrowed her eyes. "Why...?"
He failed to look innocent. "No reason."
"Uh uh, forget it. No v–" She suddenly remembered the Dean was standing right there. "None of your kind gets near my Study Group."
The Dean's face lit up in surprise. "None of...?" Oh, Shirley..." He shook his head in disappointment. "I thought you all were more inclusive than that. Don't forget our school's motto!"
"The school may accept everyone, but my group has standards," she said dismissively, backing away from them. Better that the Dean was kept in the dark about the presence of vampires on his campus. She could just imagine the panic that might ensue.
The Dean let out a tiny affronted gasp. "Reject Jeffrey? How could anyone reject this marble perfection?" He placed a hand gingerly on Jeff's arm, giving it a tiny squeeze. "Don't worry, I'll find you a..."
But Jeff slipped out of the Dean's grasp, getting in front of her again. She was tired of these games. She pulled Alpha out again where Jeff (but no one else) could clearly see the stake, and let him take it in. She tapped it a couple of times in her palm.
"Aw, come on, no need for that, is there?"
"Are you gonna let me go home?"
"What is with you?" he asked. "Usually it's all witty repartee with a side of 'go to hell,' and suddenly 'go to hell' is the main course."
"And yet you don't."
"Seriously, Shirley."
"Seriously? Is that a setting you have?"
He waited patiently long enough that she gave in.
"Okay, for starters, the fact that you're so insistent about talking right this minute is making my..." She looked around at the faces of the passing students, and at Dean Pelton, who was pretending not to eavesdrop as he adjusted a bulletin board. She tapped a finger to her temple. "...intuition go crazy." The Dean inched his way closer. She sighed. She might as well give in – she could handle one pretty-boy vampire. "Fine. Come with me."
She grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him toward the study room.
"That's better. I knew you could work things out!" Dean Pelton called after them.
After they turned the corner, just short of the study room, she let go of him with a shake of her wrist. "What are you up to?"
He lifted his hands in surrender. "Nothing!"
"Tell me."
"Okay. I'll tell you my dastardly plan..." He took a step closer, looming over her. She met his gaze, unflinching. "I want to get enough credits to actually finish that degree I started back before..." He let his incisors pop out for an instant, and then retracted them. "And what better person to help me navigate the twisted hallways of Greendale than the Slayer herself?" He waggled his eyebrows.
She smacked him on the arm. "Enough of this, Jeffrey! Tell me the truth!"
"Hey, that is the truth, Shirley. I may be a master at spreading the bull, but I'm not lying."
There was a lot more to it than that. The odd feeling in her bones wasn't going away. "So you put the Dean up to offering actual classes in the evening. What did you do to him?"
"Believe it or not, I didn't have anything to do with the night school program. But I am taking advantage of it." He smiled.
"Convenient. You and how many vamps, Jeff?"
He shrugged. "There might be a few. I don't really keep up with the local population, you know."
She kept her eyes on his, looking for signs that he was lying, but it was useless. Vampires rose from the grave liars, and she suspected Jeff had been a master long before he turned. The only way she could find out his real plan would be to keep an eye on him. Pretending to relax, she put away her stake. "Fine. First this project, then we'll see about more. And no vampire funny-business," she warned.
He lifted a hand to his non-functional heart. "Undead's honor."
She poked a finger into his chest. "I'm holding you to whatever slight amount of honor that is." With a sigh, she turned and walked through the opening to the study room.
"I wouldn't expect anything else, Sl–" His words cut off with an oomph.
Shirley set her bag on the table and turned toward him. He stood in the doorway, just on the other side of the threshold, perplexed. He lifted a hand to push at the air in front of him, and then took an unwilling step back.
"You can't come in?" This was as much a surprise to Shirley as it seemed to be to Jeff.
"No," he said with a frown. "I thought when we became project partners this would stop..."
She blinked a couple of times. "You mean... you've always been blocked?"
He frowned at the invisible barrier, then nodded.
Shirley felt a slow smile creep over her face. Sometimes the universe threw her a bone. "Imagine that." She pulled her phone out of her purse and opened the calendar app. "How about tomorrow at six in the cafeteria?"
He gestured at the doorway in disbelief. "You're not going to invite me in?"
"You want into my group? Consider this a trial run." She hoped by the end of term he would either prove himself trustworthy... or dust-worthy.
