Curtains are pulled back. It reaveals a classroom scene. Where Remus is standing on his head while trying to eat pudding at the same time, Peter is picking his nose, James is eating the chalk thinking it's…who knows, and Sirius is trying to transfigure James's head into a giant cucumber.

"James! Stop moving!"

"Dear Padfoot, why?"

"Because otherwise you will end up with a cucumber booty."

"Sirius you're sixteen, can't you say butt?"

"Butt is a bad word."

"Why?"

"Do I look like a hula dancer?"

"Well in this light-"

"NO!"

"Then I do not have the answers to all the world's problems."

"That's stupid."

"SHUT UP PETER. MAYBE YOU'RE STUPID."

"Your mom."

"My mom what?"

"YOUR MOM!"

"Peter, it's not an insult unless you, you know, insult."

"YOUR MOM!"

"Alright now you're just being annoying."

"What should we do to punish him?"

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

They picked Peter up by the arms.

"But guys, I like my head! No, please! NO! NOOOOOOOO!"

They threw him out the window.

"Much better."

"HEY HE TOOK MY GUM!"

"James."

"Yes?"

"You didn't have any gum."

"Oh, right."

"But do you know what you do have?"

"Your everlasting love?"

"That and a cucumber booty."

'WHAT?"

"I told you not to move."

pointless, yes. Who cares? NOT ME.