A/N: Welcome to How to Win a Weasley! This random plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone, and so instead of finishing up the next chapter of my other fic, I wrote this. This will have a large dose of Scorpius and Rose- they are James, Al, and Teddy's inspiration- but focuses on other pairings too. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
How to Win a Weasley
~Prologue~
"He's never going to win her over that way," said a disgruntled James Potter to his brother Albus while they watched their cousin Rose Weasley yell at Scorpius Malfoy.
"Win her over?" Albus said as he flipped right side up. He had been laying upside down on the couch next to James while he watched his two best friends fight.
"Course. They're crazy for each other," James said simply.
Albus gaped at his brother, "If you haven't noticed during the past three years, those two can't stand each other!"
"Albie, trust your wiser older brother here. That there is the beginnings of love." James said in a sing song voice.
Teddy Lupin entered the room and spotted the fighting couple and the Potter brothers. Scorpius had been coming around for Christmas ever since he and Albus had become friends during their first year. Three years later, the family knew to avoid Scorpius and Rose until they had their annual Christmas row. Teddy made his way over to his adoptive brothers and settled between them, "Merlin, they need to snog already."
"I know!" James cried.
"Does everyone think that?" Albus said, shaking his head, "Scorp probably will never figure out how to not fight with Rose unless we write it out for him."
"That's brilliant Al!" James said excitedly.
"I'm brilliant how?"
"We will write it out for them! We will get those two love-blind idiots together by creating a Rose Weasley dating guide!" James gave a dramatic flourish with his arms, nearly hitting Teddy in the head.
"James, could you even write a guide to win over a girl?" Teddy said with a roll of his eyes.
"I know a couple things about women," James said defensively, "I've been in my fair share of broom closets."
"But you're only fourteen...! You know, never mind. I don't want to know what you get up to at Hogwarts." Teddy shook his head.
"Besides, the mushy stuff is what you are for Ted. You're engaged to Vic, so you obviously know somethings about winning over a girl." James said eagerly.
Teddy laughed, "Yeah I suppose. It would have been helpful to have had a guide to help me win over her. We could have gotten together much sooner."
"Then why should we just write a guide for Rose?" Albus piped up, "We could write one for all the Weasleys and hand it out to those who are trying to win our cousins."
"You really are brilliant! But we can only give it to those we like. We can't give it to that slag Louis is dating right now, she needs to go." James said.
"We should write him a guide to better women," Albus said with a snicker.
"So are we all in?" James said, "Teddy for the romance, me for my brilliant insight and smooth talking and Albie for all those sweet things he says."
"I don't say sweet-"
"Oh shut it Al, even I notice how you talk to Lydia Wood and I graduated from Hogwarts before you even got there." Teddy said with a snort.
"Anyways!" James said, "We should call it, The Potter's Guide to Dating Weasleys!"
"Well, I'm technically a Lupin."
"That title sucks James."
"Well, I don't hear you guys coming up with anything!" James said as he glared at his two brothers.
The three boys watched Rose and Scorpius continue to scream at each other, Rose's face was matching her bright red hair while Scorpius seemed to have become paler from lack of oxygen. "How about How to Win a Weasley?" Albus finally said.
The two older boys sat for a second in thought, "I like it." James said finally.
"Kind of catchy," Teddy agreed.
"Then let us begin!" James said, leaping to his feet.
At that moment, Rose and Scorpius were finishing up, "I think that you are the most despicable person I've ever met!" Rose screamed, "You should have been sorted into Slytherin so you could rot in those dungeons and I wouldn't have to see your ugly face all the time!"
"Ugly, Weasel? I'm not the one with the Weasel face and the frizzy hair, and to top it off, I'm actually well liked."
"Well, I DON'T LIKE YOU!"
"Good, because I DON'T LIKE YOU!" The two of them stomped off in opposite directions.
"That one wasn't as bad," Albus said after he heard two doors slam in the distance.
"We should probably get started," Teddy said, "We need to sort through a whole mess of stuff to get those two together."
