Hey guys! Okay, so wow, I actually spent the last…hour or so(?) writing this. So, I'm writing this now because I can only watch Whiskey Tango Foxtrot [anyone realize as an acronym, it's WTF? Kinda like how we'll be after watching it.] tomorrow. So I'm uploading this now to get some of this pressure off my mind. This was actually called 'Holding On and Letting Go' at first, cos I came up with this when I was watching the promo. I find that the song fits well with this, but it could be just me, I don't know heh.

The dedication here goes to Sophie, for putting up with the soaps! Also her reaction when I gave her a sneak peek was PRICELESS. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME" I swear, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. Anyway, love you Sophie! *glomps*

So anyway, yeah, read, and enjoy! (:


It's all those times she's left, almost left, and considered leaving. They all know.

This is it. This is the one time she isn't coming back; this is their final goodbye.

She's sitting in Tony's chair; Bishop's in her old seat getting paperwork done, and the team's surrounding Tony's desk – Tony leaning against the desk, McGee in his own chair, and Gibbs just…standing there. Then there's Abby, leaning over the office partition.

For the first time ever, Ziva David feels insecure. There's someone in her place, and she doesn't know what lies ahead of her. It's something she's never felt before, and it scares her.

She can feel her heart breaking; this isn't something she ever wanted to do. She never meant to let go. She never wanted to leave them. But she knew that it wasn't inevitable. It was bound to happen eventually.

She just didn't think it would be so soon, and under such circumstances.

"So, uh, Ziva. What're you gonna do?" McGee's concern is clear, and she feels her throat tighten. She looks down at her hands, crossed on her lap. Slowly she lifts a hand and starts to inspect her nails, but she doesn't look up high enough for them to see the expression on her face.

She's stalling for time, and they all know it. Whether she notices or not.

"Um, well," she stops halfway, barely keeping the sob inside.

"Ziver?" she looks up, her eyes glistening with tears.

"I don't know, Gibbs," she whispers, "I don't know."

Abby's arms are around her, and there's this warmth. This feeling of love, and it's never felt so strong. She lets out a choked gasp, filling her lungs with air. Her shoulders are shaking, and all those emotions she's kept in for years are finally coming out. The love, the fear, the happiness, the anger, the despair, the hope. She can tell that Abby's crying; the girl is trembling around her. McGee, ever the awkward Probie, pats her on the shoulder, finding no possible way to hug her without pushing Abby out of the way. Gibbs stands at the side, stoic as ever, watching the scene. Tony sits on his table, his face slightly red; his fists are clenched and arms crossed. He's glaring at a spot on the wall just above Ziva's head, as if it would fix everything. Bishop, on the other hand, just sits there, shifting about uncomfortably in her seat. She's intruding on a private moment, that much she can tell.

"I-I guess…I honestly don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Her response surprises no one. She's been here for the longest time, almost nine full years, and suddenly, she has to leave. It was safe to assume that none of them were prepared for this.

"I guess for now, this is it." She gently pries Abby off of her, and gets up from the seat. The moment Abby's arms leave her, her arms shoot out again, and latch onto her, shoving her back down into the seat.

"No! You are not leaving; do you hear me, Ziva David? You are not leaving." Abby's crying now, and people in the surrounding squad rooms take a quick look around to see who's the one crying. Curious, they slowly rise from their seats to take a look at the ruckus, and the moment they see what's going on, they turn around and sit back down. The team was a family, and this was a personal situation. There was no way they were going to intrude on that.

"Abby-"

"No!" she sighs, and looks down.

Finally, the tears fall.


They sit there for a good hour, and no one realizes it but Bishop's left, to give them their time.

"Abby- Abby," her voice is gentle, "you have to let me go." Abby has a death grip on her, and she swears that she's losing circulation to her arms. Her arms drop, and she slowly stands up. Dusting herself off, she rubbed her hand over her face. Tony had remained surprisingly quiet for the most part, just looking at her, watching her.

It was like…It was like he was trying to memorize her. To memorize what she looked like; all her features, all of the little things that made her Ziva. It was like he never wanted to forget what she looked like.

"Well, I'll see you guys around." She attempts a smile, which ultimately comes out fragile and weak. She gets up, grabs her bag, and walks towards the elevator, leaving everyone to watch her departure.

The elevator doors open, and she's about to step into the elevator when a hand grabs onto her forearm.

"What do you want, Tony?" She doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is. Her voice is weary, and they both know that he is her breaking point.

"What happens now?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess I could return to Israel, or go into hiding. I could just-"

"Ziva." That's not what he was referring to, and she knows that.

After a heavy pause, she finally turns around and looks him in the eye. She can see the pain reflected in her own eyes. She sighs, placing a delicate hand on his cheek.

"I told you, DiNozzo, I don't know." She says softly, as if he would break, had she been any louder.

"Where will you-"

"You won't find me, Tony. You won't be able to find me."

"Do you really want to test that? Do you really want to see if I can and will find you, even if you disappear? I found you when you were dead, Ziva. I can find you if you go missing." Now he's angry, and she knows she's done it.

"Tony, you have to let go."

"What if I can't?" She didn't expect that, not in the slightest.

"How about this, DiNozzo. How about we make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

"Six months."

"What?"

"I give you six months, to try and find me. If you find me, we decide where to go from there. Let the chips fall where they may, yes? After six months, if you can't find me, you have to let me go."

He knows that he's making a deal with the devil. This is not a risk that he wants to take, but he's out of options. This is the only way.

"Deal."

"Six months, DiNozzo. Remember that." She lets go, and retreats into a corner of the elevator, shrinking into it. She gives him a tiny, uncertain smile, and all he can do is smirk in response, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He stood there, watching her until the doors closed and she was gone, before turning around and walking back to his desk, smiling softly and shaking his head.

Six months, huh?

He would remember that.


So, what did you guys think? If you liked it, please leave a comment! If you didn't, well, comment anyway! I'd love to hear how I could make this better (:

OH OH OH BEFORE I FORGET: There is a sequel to this story. I'm writing and uploading it tomorrow, and I'll upload it either before or after watching Whiskey Tango Foxtrot [I'm actually scared]. So yeah, that's about it for now.

Oh, and for Whitney and Sharmane: I'm amazed, you guys put up with all the sneak peeks! Except Sharmane. NO. She tortured me with sneak peeks of her own.

Okay, NOW that's all. Bye guys!

xx

Manda (: