Yet another random idea.
Link stomped into the kitchen, slamming a mug down on the counter. "Coffee," he croaked imploringly. Solid Snake looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "Come again?" he said.
Link groaned in response.
Snake glared at him unpityingly, straightening the paper. "Don't look at me. I'm not a maid."
Link grunted, heaving himself out of the chair and slouching towards the kettle. After about five minutes of fumbling around, he sucked down his mug of strong black coffee.
Snake glanced over at the wall clock. The digital clock read 11:30.
"Late night with Zelda?" he said, grinning.
"I wish," Link said, brewing another cup. "I felt an uncontrollable urge to go do an Endless Brawl at two in the morning."
Snake winced in sympathy. "Well, do you-"
He was cut off as Samus walked in. Slumping at the table, she reached for a mug. "Coffee," she groaned. Snake looked at her with disdain.
A shimmering field briefly surrounded Samus as she activated her Power Suit. Moments later, Snake found himself staring down the barrel of Samus' Arm Cannon. "Coffee," she repeated, eyes cold behind the green visor.
Snake threw down his newspaper, got up and started brewing another pot of coffee. Samus smiled sweetly, deactivating the suit. "Thanks, darling," she said.
Snake froze. "Never say that again," he growled.
Samus grunted, too tired to say anything. "So," Snake said conversationally, "How come you're so tired?"
Samus grimaced. "I couldn't sleep, so I started walking around. I ended up getting lost and sleeping in the same hallway that a bunch of Boos were having a party in. At two in the morning."
Snake shrugged. "I've had worse," he said. "One time, I was sitting around, minding my own business, when-"
Fox stomped into the kitchen. "Coffee," he groaned.
Snake threw up his hands. "Really?" he said. "Am I the only one here who's actually awake?"
In answer, Kirby waddled in, pressing an ice pack to his head. "Lemme guess," Snake snarled. "You want coffee?"
Kirby stared at him. "What? No!" The pink blob shuddered. "Coffee's the last thing I want right now. I'm too hung over for that."
Snake stared at him, disbelieving. "You're hung over," he said.
"Sorry, my fault," Falco said, walking into the kitchen, also with an ice pack. "I challenged him to a drinking contest at two in the morning. Turns out we were pretty evenly matched."
Snake shook his head. "Unbelievable."
He turned to the cupboard, getting out several more mugs. "That's weird," he remarked. "Why did everyone do something two in the morning? Come to think of it, I was even doing something then."
While he had turned, Mario and Luigi walked in. "Hey!" Mario said. "Lei non potrĂ mai indovinare quello che abbiamo fatto ieri sera! Alle due del mattino, siamo usciti, ma ho abbastanza monete per una nuova partita!"
Snake frowned. "What? I don't speak Italian."
The plumbers glared at him, and walked toward the counter, grabbing a couple fresh mugs of coffee. Snake scratched his head. "Anyway, what I was doing last night. Yeah, around two o' clock, I decided to go to the firing range."
Everyone in the kitchen turned and glared at him. "We know."
If you don't get it, you're an idiot.
