I've been born-again my whole life. Accepting Jesus into your heart and getting saved is a big decision. Especially for a 3 year old… My faith has taught me that everything was a part of God's plan. Billie said that he even had a reason for taking our parents to Heaven. She explained that Mommy and Daddy were with the angels. .
Jesus became the center of my life.
While Annette and I were up high, painting the hair of the billboard Jesus, down on the ground was a guy in a wheel-chair. "I still don't think he's white. I was watching this thing on the TV—"
"Of course he's white." Annette shouted back at her brother. "Gosh, sometimes I think Justin's retarded, too."
"Nette, he's not retarded."
In spite of living in what the Bible called "the end times", the future looked bright: My sister was finally named the number one Christian interior designer for the entire region; I was a member of "Christian Jewels". It's sort of like a girl-gang for Jesus; I had the perfect Christian boyfriend; and I was about to be a senior at a really good Christian school.
2 weeks before summer-vacation ended, everything changed... My boyfriend and I played this game of telling each other secrets underwater. It's dorky, I know. But this isn't exactly MTV's Real World, and beside it's a good way to get to know each other better.
"Okay, it's my turn." Alex said, as we both took breaths. We caught enough air to go underwater and for him to share a thought, "I thiiiink I'mmm gaaay."
"Whaaat?"
He pointed to himself, "Gaaay!"
"Gay?" He nodded. After trying to understand (but failing) I asked again, "What?"
He rushed up in need for air. I followed behind, also in need for air as well as for him to explain. I banged my head on the pool-ladder and knocked myself out. Alex got out of the pool. He turned around and saw that I was sinking, "Mari," he rushed to dive in and save me, but slipped in a puddle—knocking himself out.
Thankfully, the carpetender his parents hired to build a pool-house was there and he dove in as soon as he noticed me in the pool.
Maybe it was because I was drowning, or the shock from Alex's confession… but at that moment, I had a vision.
As I regained my vision, I saw Jesus swim toward me and he said, "Alex needs you now. You must do all you can to help him." From shock and confusion I passed out, again. And the carpetender carried me to the surface.
Later, I received a call. "No, Billie. I'm okay; it's just a little bump. I'm fine."
"All right."
Billie was away at the Christian Community Leader's Convention in Orlando, with Pastor Mike; the principal of my school.
Billie screeches into the phone.
I sighed, "Billie?"
"You never told me that Pastor Mike was so nice."
I sighed again, "Yeah, everyone loves him."
"We've been talking about setting up our own fellowship program, when we get back to town. … I've got to go."
Meanwhile, I was googling gay, and I found some… interesting, and scary stuff. "B-bye."
How could my boyfriend be gay? He's like the best Christian I know: he's an athlete who's constantly strengthening himself—physically, creatively, and spiritually for the Lord. Why had he been stricken with such a spiritually toxic affection?
I figured that I need to take the most direct approach to saving him. I mean, it was Christ's will and all…
"Jesus spoke to you, in person?" Alex asked me as we were in his van talking, waiting for the drive-thru movie previews to be over.
I lifted my head from his shoulder, "He trusts me. And you're going to have to trust me, too." I took a breath, "Just kiss me, 'kay." He nodded then leaned in toward me.
Alex and I worked on his problem for the rest of the summer.
A few days after, we were at his house near the pool. I placed his hand on my chest, "Anything?" he looked ashamed as he shook his head. I then put both of his hands on both of my boobs, "Now?"
"Are you sure this isn't a sin?"
I held his hands, moved his sand-colored hair to view his light hazel eyes, and just gave him a hug.
I was pretty sure what we were doing wasn't a sin, but not enough to give Alex what he needed. At that point, I needed spiritual guidance, or a sign, or something—and fast.
Annette and I went to the shooting-range the next day. I sucked at aiming, but of course she had perfect aim… Annette seemed to have a spiritual solution for every problem.
"Christian girls have got to know how to protect themselves," she looked over at me, "I mean, sure, Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself until marriage, and I'll use force if necessary." She loaded her gun, then shot many times in the crouch area of the paper-target.
"What's all that about restoring?" I asked as I tried to get a good aim, "I mean, physically you're a virgin once."
She came over to me to hold my hands steady, "Yeah, and it's not about reversing the violation of your blessed womb; it's about Jesus granting you a virginal heart." She gentled my grip on the gun, "That way you're pure again. …Now shoot."
I pulled the trigger when she said to, and surprisingly I got a bull's eye.
My next move was clear…
