AN: I was challenged (well technically it was explicitly stated to not be a challenge, but I took it as one anyway, because that is how I roll), so here it is. A Glee fandom cliche, an alternate universe where everyone has their soul mate's name written on their hand, applied to the Smallville fandom. Enjoy!
One of Clark's earliest memories was of sitting on his mother's lap as she carefully wrote a name on his right palm, then holding his finished hand up to compare his 'Janie Smith' to her 'Jonathan Kent.' He remembered smiling at her and thinking, even as young as he was, that her returning smile was weak and sad. It wasn't until he was older that he learned no one else needed to have the name on their hand – their soul mate's name – laboriously applied with henna every other week, it just appeared naturally. And it wasn't until a Porsche sent him flying off a bridge at sixty miles per hour that he learned why he was different. Aliens don't have soul mates.
Somehow knowing that actually made him feel less lonely about the whole thing. He'd known for a long time that there was no other half out there waiting for him, but now he had a specific reason for it. Besides, it's not like Clark had to be completely alone. His family and friends would always be there for him, and even if it wasn't his one true love, he could still date – when a person didn't know if they'd meet their soul mate at three or seventy-three it seemed a little silly to never have a relationship until meeting them.
Clark held his hand up above his head and contemplated, as he had been doing increasingly frequently lately, changing the name written there. He knew what name he'd like to put on there, but if he did, there was no way it could possibly work out the way he wanted it to. 'Jamie' though, that might be a good choice. It was close enough to 'Janie' that anyone who noticed the difference would probably just think they were misremembering, but it could be a boy's name too, which Clark had recently discovered was probably the more appropriate choice for him.
The sound of familiar footsteps broke his reverie and Clark put his hand back down on his chest, a grin breaking out across his features. "Hey Lex," he said, turning his head back from where he was sprawled on the couch to look at his friend coming up the stairs. "I was just thinking about you."
"Were you?" Lex asked, trailing his own leather-encased hand across the railing as he walked in closer. Clark had never seen Lex without his gloves. Sometimes he took the left glove off if he needed direct skin contact for some reason, but he always wore the right one, to the point that if Clark hadn't noted a slight change in style and color from day to day, he might have thought the glove was permanently attached to Lex. Clark had asked Lex about it once, and Lex had just shrugged and mentioned how easy it was for someone to change their name if they wanted to. It was both a blessing and a curse because as much as Clark would like to not spend nights wondering, he wasn't sure that he could handle knowing. "I was thinking about you too."
"Really?" Clark asked, unable to help the huge grin that overtook his face.
"No," Lex retorted, gazing imperiously down at Clark's feet, and Clark obligingly scrunched up to make room for him. "I actually came to spend some quality time with your father."
"Well, in that case," Clark said, making as though to get up, "I'll just go get him for you."
"Sit your ass down Kent," Lex commanded, and Clark laughingly complied. Of course, he couldn't let Lex have his way just like that, so when he settled himself back down, Clark also sprawled out again, placing socked feet in Lex's lap. Lex gave Clark a Look, which Clark only returned with a guileless smile. So Lex forcibly shoved Clark's feet away, and Clark used the momentum of that to swing himself up into a sitting position significantly closer to Lex than he had been previously. If Lex noticed, and there was no way that he hadn't because Clark was sure that Lex noticed everything, he didn't comment on it, instead asking Clark what he had been up to before Lex arrived.
Clark shrugged. "Nothing much, just contemplating my navel." Navel, hand, same difference really.
"And here I thought you'd be busy stargazing," Lex said off-handedly. But there was a really weird emphasis in the way he said it, not to mention it was cloudy out, so Clark couldn't even stargaze if he wanted to and-
"Lex!" Clark exclaimed once he figured out what his friend was implying, "I don't do that." Lex merely raised a skeptical eyebrow at Clark, and Clark conceded a mumbled "not anymore."
"I'm not condemning you, Clark" Lex told him. "Far be from me to judge anyone for their obsessive behavior because of the love." A cryptic little comment, but Clark knew better than to ask and think he'd receive any sort of answer. Honestly, sometimes it felt like Lex was the one hiding a spaceship-sized secret.
"I'm not saying that to just save face." Well, maybe he was a little because once he had gotten some distance from the situation Clark realized the whole 'spying on Lana with his telescope from his barn' thing was kind of really creepy. "I just don't do that anymore. I'm not into Lana anymore."
"Clark Kent not interested in Lana Lang?" Lex said, teasing incredulity in his voice. "What could have possibly caused that?"
Clark very consciously and deliberately did not look at Lex, afraid that, if he did, it would give Lex the wrong impression. Well, technically it was the right one, but either way it wasn't an impression Clark wanted Lex to be getting. Instead he found himself looking down at his hands – his left thumb running over his right palm, fantasies and castles in the sky flitting through his head – considering how to answer without lying or telling the truth.
He was saved from having to come up with anything when Lex spoke again. "You found her?" he asked his voice low and full of some quality Clark couldn't place. Clark blinked at Lex on confusion before remembering, hand, fictitious soul mate, right.
"Of course not," Clark scoffed, and then, when he realized that his denial probably sounded a little too vehement to someone who didn't know what Lex had suggested was impossible, he added as an explanation, "I would have told you if I had, first thing." And that, at least, Clark could say without any feelings of guilt because in the hypothetical situation where Clark did actually have a soul mate to find, then Lex would be the first one he told.
Lex regarded Clark with an indulgent sort of expression. "I'm sure you'd want to tell your parents first and maybe some of your other friends, but I appreciate-"
"No," Clark interrupted. "You're my best friend Lex. You're the first person I would want to tell." Maybe Clark couldn't tell Lex the truth, but he could tell him all the other ones and hope that it might, in some small way, help make up for it.
"That means a lot, Clark. Thank you," Lex said, his expression completely unguarded for the moment and thick with emotion. Clark grinned at him, and Lex returned it with a smile of his own. "Janie Smith is going to be a very lucky girl."
Clark froze. "Where did you hear that name?"
"It's written on your right hand, just like everyone else," Lex said just a bit of confusion coloring his voice, and Clark might have flinched at that if he would have had the presence of mind to do so, but at the moment he had other concerns.
"I never showed it to you," Clark said. He never showed his hand to anyone. He wrote the fake name on there so no one would ever glimpse his bare palm and start asking questions that Clark wouldn't be able to answer, but he never deliberately showed it to people. One less lie to choke on that way. No, the only way Lex could know that is if he had been looking, deliberately trying to figure the name of Clark's 'soul mate,' but why…
Far be from me to judge anyone for their obsessive behavior because of the love
It was a sudden rush of epiphany, a conclusion so completely ridiculous and yet so completely bone-deep right, he couldn't help but to act on it. The kiss was clumsy and inexperienced and absolutely perfect because it was Lex. Lex, who Clark had been thinking, hoping, wishing, and literally dreaming about, who he was – holy crap – totally in love with, and who-
-and who wasn't kissing him back. Clark yanked his head back as though he'd been burned. "Sorry, I didn't-" mean to do that was a lie which was the last thing Lex needed to hear from Clark at the moment. "I thought-" you liked me back sounded juvenile and way too embarrassing to admit to right after he basically just molested his friend because he had leapt to a stupid conclusion . "'I'll just-" go now, but this was his Fortress of Solitude and if he was going to curl up into a ball of misery this is where he'd normally do it. "Sorry."
There was a sort of rustling sound, probably Lex getting up to leave, but Clark didn't even spare it a glance; he didn't want to see Lex looking at him with pity or disgust. So he was surprised a moment later when a hand, a pale, soft, skin-bare hand, came gently to rest on Clark's cheek, guiding him to look at Lex. "This is a bad idea Clark."
"Why?" came the stupid plaintive question. Clark knew why, Lex obviously didn't like him like that, but apparently he couldn't help but asking anyway.
"There's the age difference for one thing," Lex said. "not to mention your parents hate me."
"They don't hate you," Clark protested automatically. "At least Mom doesn't." Then the implications of what Lex had said, and what he hadn't said, set in. "Wait, Lex do you like me?" he asked, a hopeful note creeping into his tone.
"You're my best friend, Clark. You will always be my best friend," said Lex.
"Yes, but do you like me?" Clark insisted. He knew better than anyone that the two weren't mutually exclusive.
Lex closed his eyes for a few seconds, then sighed and opened them again. "You asked me how I knew Ms. Smith's name. You recall the day we met?" Clark didn't answer, just raised his eyebrows and Lex gave a self-depreciating smile in return shaking his head at himself a little "Ask a stupid question. What I was referring to was after we had both recovered a bit. You stood up and then offered me your hand." Clark nodded; he remembered that moment. He had taken Lex's hand, and a jolt of feeling traveled down his arms, like destiny running through his veins. "I managed to get a good look at your palm when you let go, hoping..." He trailed off, but Clark knew exactly what he had been hoping for: the same thing that Clark had been secretly hoping, against all logic and reason, was hidden under Lex's leather glove. "But none of that changes that this is a bad idea."
"Why?" Clark repeated, though this time his tone was less plaintive and more curious.
"I gave you my reasons already," Lex said, a hint of exasperation in his tone. "But I can give you more if you like. What about all the homophobic bullying you'll be subject to if the kids from your school found out? Or my father, do you really want him sticking his nose in your business?"
"What I want," Clark said, not letting Lex distract him, "is the real reason you keep saying this is a bad idea. Because all that other stuff is true, but if you were really hoping for… what you said you were, you wouldn't let things like that stop you. Tell me the truth, Lex." Clark squared his jaw and looked at the other man expectantly.
"I think you're underestimating what I'd do to protect you," Lex said, but Clark didn't budge. Finally Lex sighed and ran a hand over his head. "I wouldn't be able to let you go," he said in a soft tone. "One day Janie really will show up and you'll want to be with her instead. I don't like to think what I'd do to keep you from leaving me."
It was like getting hit by Lex's car all over again, but this time Clark could actually feel it. The only person standing between Clark and the one thing he wanted more than anything, didn't even exist. She was a just phantom that Clark and his parents had made up to make sure Clark could have a normal life and do normal things, like fall in love. The worst sort of irony made real.
But maybe… Clark couldn't tell Lex the whole truth, not yet anyway, but stranger things had happened than someone being born without a soul mate's name on their hand. Happened to regular human people even, not just meteor mutants. And if he confessed just this one little thing to Lex then…
"Look," Clark said offering his hand up to Lex before he could talk himself out of it.
"Clark, I don't need to see-"
"Please Lex, just look. Please?" Clark begged.
Lex frowned, but did as Clark asked, cupping Clark's hand in his palms. After a few moments his frowned deepened, and his left hand came up to trace along the lines of Clark's palm. "Clark, what-?"
"Henna," Clark answered. "I have to rewrite it every couple of weeks" – well actually it was every couple of days now, because as his skin had gotten more invulnerable it had also grown more resistant to the dye – "because otherwise I wouldn't have any sort of name on their at all." He shrugged and then, with the flippancy of one who has long since accustomed himself to what most would consider a great personal tragedy, said, "Basically I don't have a soul mate."
"Oh, Clark," Lex said, his voice practically aching with sympathy. He looked up at Clark, his eyes dark stormy seas and paused before saying, more murmuring to himself than anything, "One good turn deserves another, right? A truth for a truth." Then he reached down and grabbed the edge of his right hand glove.
"No!" Clark exclaimed, frantically grabbing at Lex's hands to stop him. "I know you want to be fair, but I don't need to know their name. I don't want to know."
"You need to see this," Lex told him. "It's not anything bad, I promise."
Clark searched Lex's eyes and saw only affection and gentle understanding; Lex wouldn't hurt him. Clark took a deep breath in and nodded. "Okay. I trust you."
It was like Clark had flipped a switch, Lex's pupils going wide and a strangled noise escaping him before he launched himself at Clark. The kiss was hard and hot and messy and Lex's hand came up and tangled itself in Clark's hair and Clark thought it was a good thing he didn't exactly need to breathe, since he wasn't sure if he could at the moment.
"I love you." His vocal chords, however, were apparently working just fine.
"Jesus!" Lex exclaimed, his hand tightening its grip in Clark's hair almost reflexively. "Clark you, you can't say things like that."
"Oh, okay," Clark said, dropping his eyes to the floor. He had thought, and Lex had said, but obviously it was too much. Too much, too soon, and Clark was just being stupid again. "Sorry."
"Clark," Lex said, his voice a gentle sigh. "Look at me, please." Clark didn't want to, but then Lex's right hand, the one that wasn't busy petting soothing strokes through Clark's hair, grasped Clark's chin and pulled Clark's head up to see an expression full of fondness and… amusement? "All I meant was you are hell on my good intentions. I'm trying to tell you something important, but if you keep saying things like that, then I don't know that I'm going to be able to stop myself from throwing you back and having my wicked way with you."
Oh. That actually sounded good. Really, really good. A mischievous grin stole its way across Clark's face. "I love you."
Lex threw his head back and laughed, loud and full of mirth like Clark didn't think he'd ever heard before. Well, he'd definitely be making sure he had a chance to hear it again, a lot of chances in fact.
"You," Lex began once his laughter had abated, but then he stopped himself and regarded Clark with a serious, thoughtful sort of expression. "I don't know much about love," he said, and it the words came out just as smooth and confident as they always did, but as Clark listened to Lex he could almost feel the uncertainty hanging in the air like something he could reach out and touch. "But I do know that your happiness and wellbeing are more important – are the most important things. And you make me want to be a better man, but more than that, being with you makes me feel like I'm already a better man than I ever thought I could be."
Clark found himself nodding in agreement, understanding exactly what Lex was trying to say. Because Clark had always believed that when he found that special someone, one that wasn't necessarily his soul mate since he didn't have one, but someone he could still love and spend his life with, they would make him feel normal. And Clark thought that was maybe at least a small part of the reason he had liked Lana so much, because Lana was the sweet and perfect girl next door that nearly every guy in school had at least a little bit of a crush on.
But Lex didn't make Clark feel normal. Lex made Clark feel like being different didn't have to be a bad thing, like 'special' really was a synonym for extraordinary. "It's like…" perfect, happy, safe, home, belonging, and a little like forever, even if Clark knew that part of it wasn't real because one day Lex's soul mate would come and take Lex from him. But the words didn't seem to want to assemble themselves into anything resembling coherence, so Clark leaned forward and let his lips express the things his voice couldn't.
"That's it exactly," Lex agreed a minute or two later, after they had broken the kiss.
"That's love," Clark told him softly. Green eyes met grey for a few seconds, or maybe a few years. Time didn't seem important, and had the world fallen down around their ears just then, that wouldn't have mattered either.
Lex finally broke his gaze first, looking down and slowly pulling the glove off his right hand. "So you see, you likely don't have to worry about someone trying to steal me away either," he said offering his hand to Clark, and Clark, with not a little trepidation even though he knew Lex wouldn't hurt him, looked down at it. Lex continued to talk as Clark inspected his hand, something about linguists and a writing style like nothing seen on Earth, but Clark wasn't listening. Because while he couldn't read the symbols on Lex's hand any more than Lex or all his specialists could, Clark still knew exactly what it said. A huge goofy grin overtook his face, and Lex broke of, looking at him in confused amusement. "Clark?"
"I just found my soul mate," Clark said. He had promised Lex that he'd be the first to know after all. Then, to forestall the questions he could already see forming on Lex's lips, Clark reached in for a quick kiss, before grabbing Lex's hand and pulling him off the couch. Off the couch, out of the barn, and to the storm cellar. "Come on; there's something I want to show you."
