It was my first period, pre-algebra. I could see a few of my friends, Elizabeth, Jakob, even Hayden. The room was cold and it sent shivers up my spine, reminding me of last week when I offered to trade spots with Jakob to keep him warm. The only reason I offered was because it would allow me to sit closer to Hayden.. and also the fact I'm a nice guy. Stepping forward I sat down at the desk, diagonally from Jakob, and right beside Hayden. A few weeks ago I probably would've said he was my best friend. Now, I'm not so sure. I keep getting these weird vibes from him, I feel awkward around him. Is that normal for friends? I don't think so. And Elizabeth has been acting odd too... Mentioning yaoi, yuri, and of course, homicide. She said yaoi is guy and guy, but what does that mean? A relationship? Sex? Both? I don't know, but Justis obviously does. And a few weeks ago they both said they had an otp.. or whatever that is... Justis said that I and Hayden would make a good couple, but we're both straight! Or at least I know I am.

"Bro," Hayden started, snapping me out of my thoughts, "The dance is coming up. Are you going with your girlfriend?" he finished, reminding me of my earlier thoughts and I turned away from him, my face heating up. Then as I grabbed my blue notebook and felt the cold metal springs pinch my skin I said, "I don't know. I don't think she wants to go." Hayden grabbed his boring orange looking mechanical pencil and opened his grey composition notebook, "That sucks." "I know." "You should break up with her." I was confused. She was great. Why should I break up with her over some stupid dance. Elizabeth wasn't even going. Or at least she didn't go last year. "Why?" "Reasons." What kind of reasons? I'm your best friend. Why won't you just answer the question honestly? He looks down at his notebook, copying down the bellwork quickly as the bell beeped, and he raised his hand.

Mrs. Caroll did the normal introduction speech which she said everyday and then called on Hayden, "What do you need?" I could've sworn he looked nervous when he asked in a quiet voice, "Uh.. um.. Could I use the restroom?" He was never nervous. I was worried. Was he sick? "Sure. Make it quick." "Thanks" he said louder than when he asked the question and he awkwardly made his way out of the desk, adjusting his glasses on the way out.

He came back about 10 minutes later, probably had to wait in a line. I mean, the 8th grade hallway is always so packed with 8th graders and 7th graders. I'm glad 6th grade usually sticks to their own hallway even if I hated it last year. I leaned over to get closer to his desk, "You took a long time in there. What did you do? Play on your phone?" I was actually curious, no one should take that long. "Actually there was just a long line. And I don't even have a phone." he whispered quite loudly to me, sounding agitated. "Fine, fine. I don't have a phone either."

We didn't talk the rest of class or even in 2nd and 3rd period, we were too busy with tests and homework, and we didn't even have 2nd and 3rd hour together. It brought me physical pain thinking how long we haven't talked and I caught myself imagining myself crying into his shoulders and him comforting me because that's exactly how I felt. Maybe he'd let me cry into his shoulders. Friends do that don't they? I'm sure they do. Girls do it so guys should be able to too. I sighed aloud, I wasn't sure what else to do. Hayden was probably outside of my current classroom, opening his locker and frowning, he was too short to reach his stuff in his locker. I thought that was adorable, even if I never said it and no one knows, or notices my smile. Wait? What the hell am I thinking. We're just friends. Guys don't think other guys are adorable, even if they're too short to reach their locker and it is adorable.

Moments later he walks in, his long sleeved shirt looking ripped at the cuff. I wonder what happened. I hope it was just an accident he made. The school isn't violent is it? I've never seen a fight. If there was a fight.. did he win? Did he lose? Could I have saved him? Been his hero? He sat down next to me, his trapper keeper hitting the table and his books falling from his hands to hit the table in a bang. I felt immediate relief, I didn't want to sit next to Justis or Elizabeth, I hate to admit it.. but they scared me. I decided to speak first even if it meant telling him I noticed a small detail about him and that I might have a crush on him. Elizabeth would probably force us together if she knew. I hope it isn't too obvious. I would die if anyone knew. I'm straight. I'm not gay or bi.. or anything like that.

"What happened to your shirt? It's ripped." He frowned, but it wasn't a bad frown. It looked like he was thinking about how to describe it. And he finally opened his mouth to speak, "I tripped. It must've got caught on a locker or something." he said and you could tell by his expression he knew I could tell he was lying and was debating on whether or not I would call him out on his lie. I wasn't. Not here at least. "Oh." it was simple, but it got my point across. "Yeah." he said and I pulled him into a hug, I didn't care what anyone thought. Friends hug. Guys hug. It didn't mean anything except comfort for his lie. It didn't even take a second for him to push me off, his face a nice shade of red. Is it because he knows I know he lied? Or is he that embarrassed of me?

The bell rang as I looked at him one more time before grabbing my pencil, stiff in my hand I wrote down the needed information for class and I noticed I was shaking in worry. Did he notice? I don't know, but I dropped the pencil as I finished the sentence, sitting up taller and towering above him. We would talk during lunch, we had too. People would notice. I need to pull him aside before lunch, this secret is burning my lungs and it hurts to breathe. It's like it's killing me to not tell him and that's when I know this isn't a normal crush. This one won't go away. I'll need to tell my girlfriend.. Maybe I could subtly tell Hayden. Ask him to the dance. "Perfect." I said aloud accidentally, my face matching Hayden's light pink tint from earlier which has now faded.

My teacher's phone sent out a light song, which reminded me of the wind. It was lunchtime. It was now or never. "Please line up for lunch." the teacher asked of us and I stood up fast, before everyone else even, then pushed in my chair, nearly tripping over Hayden's trapper.

I was wrong. We didn't talk. No one noticed. Not even Elizabeth or Justis.. which was odd. A few minutes before I had told my girlfriend that we were over. Done. Not dating. And regret was not an emotion that I felt from it. I was just.. sad? I feel like I hurt her. Did I? Maybe, but it would've hurt her more if I asked Hayden to the dance and she wanted to go with me. I would have to lie to her. It would break her heart to go and see me there with him if he even wants to go with me. Hopefully he does because it would break my heart to not go with him. I think I would fall into this.. pit. Darkness. Or whatever this existential crisis is. I looked over to the teacher, dismissed was an action, and he used that action.

It was officially after lunch and I grabbed Hayden's arm, drawing his attention to me. Pulling him away from the crowd was hard, but it worked. "H-Hayden," I start my sentence, my face heating up once more and I mentally hope it's the last time. "Would you go to the dance with me?" Oh no. He looks angry. What did I do.. um.. "As friends?" he asks. I shrug, I didn't want to go with him as friends.. but if that was the only way to go I would take it, "I guess.. I mean, if that's what you want." I respond, pushing down the urge to run away and cry. It looks like his anger is fading and it's being replaced by a smile, and now his face is turning red too. "What other way is there to go?" I once again shrug. "I have something to admi-" he cuts you off, "I do too, but you can go ahead.." I'm a little frustrated at first since he cut me off, but one look at that smile brings a smile to my face and butterflies start flying in my stomach. "I may or may not have a crush on you and I would totally love if we could go to prom together as," I pause and he urges me on, "boyfriends." I finish, the butterflies seeming to grow and if possible my face turned redder, I was about to listen to my instincts to run. I had turned around when he put a hand on my shoulder. "I would love to." he responds, and I feel like I've achieved world peace because I'm so happy. I'm filled with joy and I turn around to face him, pulling him into another hug. I was crying into his shoulder like I imagined. And he was crying into mine. They weren't sad tears, no. They were tears of happiness. We were both at peace.