~MSP~
Chapter 1
~Ozwald~
Kitty: so this is another crack fic…
Mo: Yayz Tyki's in it! :D
Kitty: …. She's the co-author
Mo: TYKI! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Kitty: … we do not own –man or any of its characters just any random OC's we create on the spot…
"Lenalee… what is that you're holding?" Komui questioned, trying to get a better look at the object in his sister's arms. Lenalee backed up from her brother holding the object closer.
"If I tell you will you allow me to keep it?" she asked.
"Of course I'd let my darling sister keep anything~" he cried spinning around it circles. Lenalee sweatdropped.
"I found him on my mission. His mom was killed by an akuma. I just felt so bad because I couldn't save her in time and decided that we should give him a second chance at the order." She said, tears coming to her eyes.
"OF COURSE YOU CAN KEEP IT! EVERYONE WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM!" Komui squealed taking the small baby out of Lenalee's arms. The baby stared at Komui before quickly vomiting on him. "It-It-It-Its…. SO CUTE!" he huggled the baby ignoring the vomit. Lenalee couldn't help but think that her brother may be a pedo, I mean he did sometimes sneak into her room at night and videotape her sleeping.
"WAHHH!" Cried the baby.
"AHHHH WHAT DO I DO! WHAT DO I DO!", yelled Komui as he frantically rocked the baby back and forth.
"Stop you're scaring him", Lenalee informed him as she took the baby boy from his arms, "It's okay little Ozwald, you're safe now~" she cooed.
"Ozwald?" asked Komui
"Yes, the baby's new name is Ozwald" replied Lenalee
" Aww but I was going to call him Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV!"
"What kind of name is that!"
"The best name ever!"
"Sometimes I wonder about your mental health brother." Lenalee sweatdropped before huggling little 'Ozwald.' 'Ozwald' laughed shaking its little fists back and forth. "I'm going to show him the rest of the exorcists!" she said before walking out of her brother's office with the orders newest member.
Soon after she left she saw our favorite PMSing exorcist! That's right! Kanda!
"Kanda!" Lenalee called to the Japanese teen, "I have someone I want you to meet!" As soon as Kanda saw Ozwald he froze. No. He couldn't let anyone know about his fondness for babies! Like Sheryl he had a soft spot for children (or in Sheryl case hard spot…). Kanda quickly recovered himself and shot little Ozwald a glare. If looks could kill the little Ozwald would've been stabbed through the back multiple times before being kicked and crushed by a car.
"Get that thing away from me!" Kanda hissed before storming away. Lenalee stuck her tongue out at Kanda's retreating figure.
"Don't take it personally Ozwald. Kanda just doesn't like anyone!" Oh if only she knew about Kanda and Allen's relationship (*Insert evil smirk here* If only Lenalee knew about what the two exorcists did at night. Muahahahaha). Ozwald just gave Lenalee a retarded look before making a sound that sounded sort of like a half strangled pig. Lenalee just cried at the cuteness of the baby before continuing her mission to show the order the child.
After 3 hours Lenalee had showed the baby of to everyone. Everyone's reaction was different. Lavi had tried teaching Ozwald pranks to play on Kanda, Allen tried to feed him ice cream (which Lenalee had said was a wrong choice for his first solid food), Miranda had said how much she wanted a child someday (after that no one could find her or Marie for the rest of the day…), and everyone else had reactions that will not be listed because the author (Kitty) is lazy! :D
"Well Ozwald!" Lenalee said as she tucked the baby into bed. "Welcome to your new home!"
Later that night, Link, Leverrier, and Jerry snuck into Ozwald's room, but none of them knew that the others had snuck in. Jerry was there to send the baby off to cooking school to learn how to cook his own meals because, at dinner, this baby kept throwing his food onto the floor, not even appreciating his work of art. Link was looking for Allen (who was in Kanda's room) and looked everywhere except here. Leverrier was just there to watch him sleep like he usually does to Allen but, like Link, couldn't find him.
Suddenly they all bumped into each other.
"Aha! Caught you Allen!" whispered Link.
"My little weenies in a blanket!" cried a frightened Leverrier
"OMG!" said Jerry.
"Why are you here!" They all asked each other in sync.
"I'm here because I was looking for Allen." explained Link.
" I'm here to…. Um…. make sure this baby got a bottle? " said Jerry.
" Ummmmmmmmm….. I'm here because….. ummmmm… make sure… ummmm… giggity!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" cried Ozwald who was awakened by all the sudden noise the adults were making. The three tried desperately to calm the child down but just ended up making him cry louder, waking up Lenalee who had now become, like her brother over her, over protective of Ozwald.
"Leverrier you Bitch! Get the Fuck away from Ozwald!" she cried before her foot met his face. Link and Jerry just watched as the angered Lenalee beat the shit out of Leverrier. Neither one of them wanted to get beat up so the quickly left before Lenalee turned on them.
As this action sequence happened, Ozwald climbed out of his crib, unnoticed, and fell down the conveniently placed garbage chute…. TO BE CONTINUED
Kitty: yays for conveniently placed things! *rolls eyes*
Mo: You know what that means! :D
Both: SECOND CHAPTER!:DDDDDDDDDDDDD
Everyone else: GOD DAMMIT!
Kitty: And there will be more Yaoi next chapter! :DDDDDD
Mo: whatever
Kitty: REVIEW OR WE'LL HAVE LEVERRIER WATCH YOU SLEEP! O_o
