A/N: This was supposed to be a crack!fic, but then it turned into a smut!fic but since I don't really know how to write either of those kinds of fics/never have written either of those types of fics, then? I don't really know what this is. I put the blame on someone from tumblr. Go figure.


The first time Sarah heard it, she was lacing up her boots. Cosima was tapping away at some research across the room and Sarah had just set her other foot on the wooden step, her fingers deftly working the laces when, "..daddy."

Sarah blinked and looked up, her knot half-tied in her fingertips. "Hm? You say something Cos?" she looked over at where Cosima was still staring intently at the screen.

Half a second later, she registered Sarah's voice. "Huh, what?"

"I thought I heard.. uh, you say daddy?"

Cosima stared, looking Sarah up and down slowly before shrugging expansively with one shoulder and smirking. "Nope." Then returned to her work.

"The fuck, Cos...," Sarah said to herself before turning back to her laces and tugging on them with finality and heading up the stairs. "Be back in a few. Errands."

The door slammed shut locking the safe house up tight behind her. "See you soon, daddy," Cosima laughed before taking one last glance at her work and mentally made a note of her place. Then she turned and headed back to her bed. The work could, and most definitely would, wait.


The second time, it was unmistakeable. Sarah had just finished bending over to tug on her boots and turned around to grab her leather jacket from the hook on the wall, when Cosima suddenly appeared right in front of her. She was dragging her gaze slowly up Sarah's form, from her boots to her boobs and a smirk grew the higher she looked. "Daddy," she hummed, stepping closer, reaching up to weave her fingers through Sarah's wild mane of hair.

"Uh, Cos?" Sarah said, feeling her heart stutter slightly at Cosima's proximity. Despite having no bloody idea what she was getting at, Sarah couldn't deny how the way the low tone of Cosima's voice made her feel. "What are you on about?"

"Those boots... that jacket," Cosima purred, stepping even closer, their bodies nearly flush, "Your.. hair," she continued, threading her other hand through Sarah's mane with a rough tug, nearly knocking their foreheads together. "Daddy," she hummed again, low in her throat, a rumble in her chest that Sarah could feel across the slight distance.

"Sarah's not my daddy," came Kira's voice from the top of the stairs.

Cosima let Sarah shove her away, enjoying the gay panic that was clearly written all across Sarah's face. "Monkey? What are you doing, I told you to wait with Hellwizard."

"I could feel something happening to you and Auntie Cosima," she said, "Something different. I was confused."

Cosima doubled over out of Kira's line of sight and clutched her stomach at the mortified look on Sarah's face. "Something different," she mouthed at Sarah, covering her mouth to stop the cackle from escaping too loudly.

"Everything's fine baby," Sarah said, glaring at Cosima as she headed up the stairs. "Auntie Cosima is just..."

Cosima could feel, rather than see, the shrug in Sarah's tone of voice. "Horny," she offered quietly after Sarah's leather jacketed back. Just soft enough to cause Sarah to freeze minutely on the steps as she placed a hand on Kira's back and guided her out of the basement.

"We'll be back later Cos," Sarah called back airily, as if she hadn't heard Cosima's not-safe-for-Kira comment.

"I'll be waiting," Cosima said, another cheeky grin crawling up her cheeks. Daddy indeed, she noted, for science, as Sarah climbed up the steps, her ass in full view. Cosima may have been certain of her larger breasts but Sarah's ass, well. That was a gift from the gods.


The fourth time, Sarah was just tying up her side braid with a piece of dark blue cloth. "Sarah," Cosima said in the mirror behind her, sliding a hand from her shoulder down to her waist. Even in the grimy reflection and dim lighting, Cosima could still see the way Sarah's gaze grew hungry as Cosima pressed her crotch into Sarah's ass.

But her expression also was mixed with slight annoyance. "Sarah?" Sarah asked, a small frown cornering her lips as she almost unconsciously pushed back into Cosima.

"Oh?" Cosima smirked, leaning right next to Sarah's ear so that her lips were brushing against Sarah's earlobe, "Would you prefer to be called... daddy?"

The groan from Sarah's lips was an instant turn on. Her head tilted back onto Cosima's shoulder, their bodies now entirely flush with each other's. "S'hot when you say that, Cos."

"How hot, exactly, daddy?" Cosima rumbled, sliding her hand from Sarah's shoulder across her collarbones, her hand grabbing at Sarah's braid and tugging lightly, but insistently.

Sarah whipped around, pressing back against Cosima until she had no where else to go in the small space of the enclosed bathroom. "You want me to tell you, Cosima?" she said, pulling Cosima's hand away from her braid and curling Cosima's fingers around the waistband of her jeans.

"Or...," Cosima said, feeling her breath hitch at the feel of the rough denim trapped in her fist. "I could show you."

"Or you could show me, what?" Sarah demanded, seizing Cosima's wrist, preventing her from claiming her prize.

"Or I could show you, daddy," Cosima corrected herself with a moan.

"That's my girl," Sarah growled, and tugged Cosima to their bedroom.


The seventh time, Sarah was tying Cosima up to a bed post. "Say it again," Sarah grunted, hovering over Cosima's face teasingly.

"Daddy," Cosima moaned, twisting and straining to reach. "Daddy, please daddy."

Sarah's grin grew large as she started to lower herself towards Cosima's lips with aching slowness. "You want this, baby, don't you?"

"Yes daddy, please I-"

"Sarah, for bloody christ's sake!" The pair started, and looked towards the stairwell, neither of them having heard Mrs. S's footsteps descending.

"I.. uh...," Sarah floundered, accidentally kneeing Cosima in the jaw as she scrambled to put herself in a less compromising position.

"I'll have you know that Kira is up there right now asking me if Cal is home and if she can come down and see him," Mrs. S said, staring at them sternly.

Sarah's face whitened, mortified once more. And again, to her credit, Cosima just started laughing, unable to cover her mouth to stop the snort and the barely intelligble words, "B-because y-you.. you keep – daddy!" she snickered, turning her face into the pillow to attempt to muffle the noise.

"He's not here," Sarah said flatly, doing her best to ignore Cosima's continued raucous laughter.

"No, but daddy is," Mrs. S said with a pointed roll of her eyes in Sarah's naked direction.

"Shite."