A/N: Okay..I know I have other stories that need an update..but I had an idea and just kinda went with it. It's a one-shot..but please leave reviews if you read it. Oh and just a slight warning..it's sad.
Lucas Scott didn't have what you called the perfect life..but he did have it pretty good. He had a good job, a good wife, a good home. Nothing to really complain about. He was on the way to another day on the job..his usual cup of coffee in his hand as he walked down the block. Feet away from his building, he felt his cell phone vibrate against his hip in his pocket. Pausing only to flip his phone open, he made to continue the remaining steps to the door. Listening to the voice on the other end, his movements suddenly ceased, his arm that was reaching for the door stopped in mid-air.
Now he was back in his hometown. He left the job..left the wife..left the pretty good life..and got on a plane. Hours later..here he was back in Tree Hill. Back in a familiar place. He knew where he needed to go already, so he went- no questions asked of him as his footstopes echoed in the near empty hall. He came to the room, standing outiside the shut door for a moment. He hesitated for the first time since recieving that altering phone call earlier in the day. He hadn't even stopped to call into work...to call his wife and tell her that he was jumping on a plane to travel thousands of miles back to North Carolina. New York to North Carolina..a trip he hadn't made in a long time..and now here he was, standing outside a door. He read the numbers on it. 102. Room 102.
His hand moved to the doorknob, turning it without his mind's consent. He wasn't ready for it yet.
The door swung open and all eyes in the room turned towards him. But he didn't see them, or care for that matter. His eyes only saw on thing. Her body in the bed. All the wires and machines hooked up to her frail, weak body. He compared what he saw of her now to the image that he kept of her in his own mind over the years they were missing from each other's lives. The blonde, bouncing, curly hair. Not the straight hair as she had it last time he had laid his eyes on her. He had always preferred the curls..it made her different from everyone else. It made her evident beauty stand out more amongst the world of hair straighteners and hair products. Her vibrant smile..the way her hips rocked back and forth when she walked. And now, as he looked her new, reduced form over..he knew he would never see her walk again.
The pale, sickly look of her skin matched the limpness of her hair. Her eyes were closed. But with the sudden silence that had taken over the room with his abrupt arrival, they flickered open, the mere action looking like it took an immense amount of effort. The hazel eyes flicked around the room in confusion, until she followed the gazes of the other occupants in the room. Her eyes met his...and his heart skipped a beat. Three years since their eyes had seen each other. And now...they lacked that light...that fire and passion they used to exhibit. The reason he was never able to look away from her. Why he was so entinced by her. It had disappeared. The figures around him began to move..but his eyes didn't. His brother put a hand on his shoulder for a moment before passing on and through the door he had left open. His former best friend gave him a half-hug that he didn't respond to.
The remaining figure in the room was the only one who hadn't stared at him when he came in. She took steps towards the bed, pulling the delicate figure in for a hug.
Whispered words were exchanged but he didn't hear them. He didn't want to hear them...a goodbye between two lifelong friends. Two friends that could withstand anything.
Any disagreement...any boy...even him. He watched the two, while somehow their eyes never left one anothers. Then, even she left, her brown eyes glaring at him. He didn't see it though as his twice over ex-girlfriend stalked past him.
The door was closed behind her..and it was now just the two of them.
"And then there were two," came her voice. It was hoarse..and weak.
Her voice was the only part of her he had known over the three years. One would get weak..call the other late at night when his wife wouldn't hear. Just to hear the other's voice..to hear the other breathing.
"Come sit down," she asked of him.
He found himself in the chair that was set up next to her bed, the one Brooke had occupied moments earlier. He fumbled with his hands to stop from looking up at her.
to stop from having to say something. The steady beeping of the machine she was hooked up to filled the silence.
"It gets on my nerves- the noise," she attempted to laugh, but it came out as a cough that launched into a fit.
His eyes rose in concern and he bit his lip at the noise of her suffering. Taking a raged breath, her mouth tried to form a smile..but it came out as more of a grimace.
"I'm okay," she whispered.
Shaking his head, he spoke for the first time in hours. "No you're not," he choked out.
"Don't do this...just...don't think about it...please? For me?"
Although he knew he wouldn't..he couldn't..he nodded his head in a silent agreement to her.
"I'm glad you came. I was worried you weren't going to..I didn't know if you cared to come all this way back here." She shifted in the bed, her face constricted in pain.
A whimper reached his ears and he automatically reached out for her hand. It was just skin and bones...he was suprised at how tiny her hand felt inside his. And she was cold. Frightenly cold. But he felt a strong squeeze on his hand...making him feel a bit better.
"I didn't...want to go...without talking...to you," she continued so much slower. "I don't want regrets."
He swallowed. No regrets. Did that include with him, too?
"And yes...that does include you," she continued quietly, her voice growing softer. "So don't even bother asking."
"Meaning...you regret me..in general...or choosing your friendship with Brooke over a relationship with me?"
It was three years ago to that very day, where their relationship had ended. Once again, Lucas had come to care for Peyton, while still officially and publically attached to Brooke. And once again he had put Peyton in a position to choose. To choose between him and Brooke. But this time had been different than the last. I love you's had been exchanged...promises had been made to each other...and he was so sure that he would get picked over Brooke. Because that's how it was..Brooke would never be happy knowing Lucas had gone to Peyton again, behind her back and that Peyton had allowed it to happen. So it came down to a choice. He had invested so much of his heart into them...so much of his soul. That when she picked Brooke...it broke him. Not just his heart, but all of him.
A few weeks later, Lucas had himself transferred out of NCU, where himself, Peyton and Brooke were currently attending, and up to a school and new internship in New York.
"Why did you leave?" Her breathing had become shallower...it looked like it was a struggle to take in every breath. "It was hard after you left..cause you were always there for me...before. I needed you..especially last year...when they told me I have cancer...you were always there for me...and suddenly..you were gone."
"I couldn't...I couldn't be around you everyday..if I couldn't be with you."
In all their phone calls and messages, they had never talked about his, it hurt both of them too much to do so.
He could see tears start to form in Peyton's eyes..but she blinked them away quickly. But she didn't provide any response.
"You still haven't answered me...what do you regret? Choosing Brooke?"
She shook her head, but grimaced in pain and immediately stopped. "No..then I would've lost Brooke. And I couldn't have done that."
"So you're okay with..giving me up?" he asked, the pain evident in his tone of voice.
"I don't regret it..."
Lucas let go of her hand and went to rise from his seat. "Then what the hell am I doing here..if you obviously could care less about me?"
"No..Luke..let me finish. I regret..that we couldn't find a way to make us work. You and me...without hurting Brooke. I regret that you left me..that you didn't think I was worth the effort of trying to figure something out..that you didn't think I was worth waiting for. That you left without trying..without fighting for me." Peyton's chest was rising and falling heavily...her fists balled up in pain.
"Peyton I wasn't going to fight for you..you chose Brooke..and I respected that decision and got out of the way. Do you think you two would still be the best of friends if I had hung around?"
Peyton's eyes drifted closed...and Lucas panicked for a second. "Peyton..?"
They fluttered back open. "It hurts..all of it hurts."
And just like that his hand was back with hers. He stood over her in the bed..the closest he had been to her in too many years. Instead of heavy, her breathing had become shallow. He could hear her take raspy breaths. Lucas swallowed.
Peyton's tired eyes had filled with tears. "I'm sorry..I am. If I could do it again...I know that Brooke and I could've worked things out..your mother told me once.
'Best friends can forgive each other for anything'..." She was struggling to breathe..Lucas tried to shush her, but shaking her head, she continued. "I would..I would pick you...cause I've realized..that I can't live without you...ironic, huh? I tell you that..and I'm about to die..." she tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a strangled sob. "I guess I really can't live without you."
"But I'm here now...so..please..just fight it for me..stay alive for me..." He pleaded with her..tears threatening his own eyes. "Please."
Her eyes drifted shut again..but she struggled to reopen them. He gripped her hand even tighter. "...sorry.." she muttered and Lucas closed his eyes, tears dripping. "I...wish..could go back...could change it all...could be with you...there's nothing I want more. Brooke..she..don't wanna loose her..but she's not you.."
Lucas thought of his wife back in New York. His wife of a year. Of course he loved her..that was a given. But..there was a part of his heart that he never let her touch. That he had never given to her. And that part..it was meant for Peyton. It was her hold on his heart...her way of always being there. And he had lived with that everyday since he had North Carolina. He had to live everyday knowing that he doesn't give his whole heart to his wife..and feeling guilty through the phone calls..when his thoughts strayed to Peyton...when he thought about her...
And now, here she was. Saying everything that he had wanted her to say to him three years ago. Saying exactly what he wanted himself. But it was too late. And what was left of his heart broke all over again..just like it had done three years ago.
"I never wanted to die hooked up to all these machines..and wires..." her weak voice broke into his thoughts..in almost a whisper. Her eyes were shut now.
"Do you want me..unattach you?" Lucas asked slowly. "But won't you..you won't be getting any oxygen..or anything anymore..."
"I know."
Lucas' eyes blinked out a few more tears as he moved to pull the wires off her skin. The beeping line went silent. The oxygen and medicine was removed. She almost looked more peaceful that way.
"Come lay with me..please...just lay with me...forget everything else..."
He wiped the tears off his face..and climbed into her bed with her. Her eyes opened with a degree of difficulty as he put his arms around her...and she looked up into his currently dark blue eyes. Just for a moment..with their eyes connecting...Lucas saw that light that used to eminate from her beautiful eyes. The light she kept only for him.
But her eyes closed..and she laid her head back down onto him...Lucas kissed her forehead..tightening his grip on her as her breathing got weaker and weaker.
"Lucas..." came a whisper. "I love you."
Lucas didn't even have to think about his response. He knew what he felt in his heart. "I love you, too..always have,-"
"-always will.." she finished. "I'll always be there...in your heart.." And slowly, she placed a hand on his chest for emphasis. Over his beating heart. His pace quickened with her touch as hers slowed.
And then she went..in Lucas' arms. Where she belonged all along.
Sad, I know. I warned you. Please review!
- Meghan
