Disclaimer- I own nothing. Although I strongly wish I do. Lyrics aren't mine either.

Maddison because they're amazing. This song fit this story so well, REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY.


"Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time."

His hotel room has never felt so cold, lonely, isolated, but tonight it does. Tonight it feels like he's completely alone, even though in all reality he's not. He has Lexie, but that's not what he wants. He wants the love of his life, he wants Addison.

He remembers the exact moment he fell in love with her, her red hair had fallen in her face while she was trying to eat spaghetti, "Markkkkk! She yelled playfully, help!" He couldn't help but to laugh at her, she looked hilarious, but still painfully beautiful.

And that absolutely killed him.

Once he finally had her he screwed up bad. He panicked, commitment wasn't exactly his thing, and a baby definitely called for some serious commitment. The minute he cheated on her he knew he messed up horribly, the kind of horrible that can't be fixed.

He wanted Addison to have the baby; he wanted them to be a family. He just wasn't sure if he could do it, if he could be that guy. Addison had already been hurt so badly by Derek that Mark couldn't bring himself to be selfish enough to only think of himself. So he though about what Addison would want, which wasn't him. Or so he thought.

Then she left, and at first he tried to forget about her, he though if he slept with a bunch of women he would just forget. He never forgot, not even for a second. So he followed her out there. He wanted to win her back; he needed to win her back.

Clearly that wasn't exactly the case. He didn't expect to go there and see her back with her husband, who was in love with a different woman. It tore him apart, but he couldn't stay and watch the woman he loved get her heart broken once again.

Then he got a call, saying she needed him.

So he took the first flight out to Seattle and headed right to her hotel, only to then be caught by Derek. Truly, he didn't care. Addison was worth everything. He missed his best friend but he missed her more, way more.

Then they were going to try and make it work, 60 days with no sex was hard for a man like Mark, but he would make the sacrifice if it meant he could have Addison. Then he saw her, coming out of the room with Alex. He felt like someone had ripped his heart out.

That night in his hotel room he realized that it must have felt like that for her when she caught him cheating, and he felt terrible.

So the next day at work he'd tell her he loved her, finally. But when he got to work he realized she was gone.

When she came back he couldn't bring himself to tell her.

To this day the words still stick in his mind, "Goodbye, Mark."

"Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)"


I miss Maddison so much, I had to write this, and I still believe Mark knows ADDISON is the one he loves. I hate Lexie. A lot, a lot, a lot. Reviews please!